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Originally posted by u/feisty-art9149 in TrueOffMyChest on March 19th, updated as an edit undated.
Trigger Warning: Child neglect, mentions of mental health struggles and self harm
Original post
My mother hates me for telling my sister the truth.
I want to preface this with an apology if it’s all over the place. There’s so much information to sort through and decide what does or doesn’t have a place here. I will reply to what I can and make edits for any common questions/ remarks.
So a little (or a lot) of background is required for this to make any sense. Many years ago my mother had an affair that completely blew up our family. I suppose the affair was the lesser issue, but rather all her other actions that screwed many of us over. For context I was 10, my younger sister was 7/8 and my older sister almost 14- all female.
To start with, in the years prior, my mother had taken out tens of thousands of dollars in loans and credit cards in my dads name, of which he was never aware of. Ignorant, absolutely, but she had always managed all finances while a SAHM. She also managed to make 5 years of GST payments disappear from the business account, for which dad was then charged with two charges (around 100K in fines) of tax evasion on top of the missed payments.
All three of us kids had a bank account set up from young, which our dad had added to so that we would be in a positive position when we were older- for University, or a house deposit, whatever it was that we desired. Being saving orientated even as a kid, I had chosen to put 100% of any money earnt through chores or gifted for birthdays into the account. At 14 when I began working and gained access to net banking I realised mum had drained my account, less $50… only my account.
If that wasn’t enough, her own mother had stored a sum of money in my parents safe that was intended for her funeral. My mother took every last dollar and refused to pay it back- my dad paid it back with interest when he found out.
Due to the tricky financial situation, dad had to travel for work, wherever the trade was needed in that moment. Typically he would leave in the early hours of Monday morning and return on Saturday afternoon. In this time my mother felt it appropriate to leave us at home so that she could visit the affair partner, usually not coming home for days at a time. Nobody knew- we had no carers or access to resource as we lived a 20 minute drive to the nearest town/stores.
This went on for a few weeks before my mum (sometimes) contacted our cousin to come stay with us while she was out… To this day I believe that only happened because the other guy figure out what was going on. Due to timing of people coming and going our dad didn’t know any of this happened to until months later. I kept quiet because I knew he couldn’t afford to stay home.
All this said- I stepped into the parent role. My little sister was kept in the dark as much as possible, I did my best to maintain her same routine so that she felt as little impact as possible. Obviously she suffered, to the point of requesting to sleep in my bed every night for a year, but it seems that she doesn’t remember any of the shitty things that happened back then.
My older sister was very mentally ill, where I had to medicate her each morning and conduct daily body and room checks. Those who know will get what I’m suggesting… To the best of my knowledge our little sister never saw any of this- I didn’t and don’t believe those are subject such little eyes should have to witness. The older sister was also really ashamed and has asked to keep this situation away from the youngest as she had a habit of speaking without realising or knowing the potential damage.
As much as I hated the responsibility, cooking, cleaning, hiding the families dirty laundry; I was also very aware that what was happening wasn’t okay. That if I couldn’t keep it together and matters hidden, that authorities would become involved. Those times were scary but the idea of not having access to and control over what happened to me or my siblings felt like it would be worse.
These are only the first things that come to mind but the details aren’t exactly the point of this post.
Anyway, I guess my younger sister’s soon to be in laws have asked some questions, of which my sister doesn’t have the ability to answer. I would suggest she asked our mother first but the queries would have been shut down. I know she feels guilty, knows that she screwed up, and frankly I hope she never forgives herself for it.
So, little sister came to me and for the first time in 15 years I was willing to give her the answers she was looking for. I’ve always been vague, not wanting to cause her pain, but I’ve started feeling guilty in recent years for not treating her as enough of an adult to make her own decisions. After a loooot of therapy, I have realised that I don’t have to be their parent anymore. My sister cried, I cried, and she apologised for assumption made and words said because she didn’t know any better in the past. She needs and wants time to process a whole lot of information that’s entirely new to her, that has quite literally flipped the way she has perceived many people over the years.
Anywho… she isn’t speaking to our mother right now and that’s where it becomes my problem, I guess. She called me, blowing up, claiming I’ve ruined her relationship with her daughter. That I’m out to get her, resentful without cause and need to stop living in the past. But I don’t see how me being honest about her actions is my fault? Could I have filtered details? Maybe. But I don’t understand why I should have to hold onto the pressure of keeping her shortcomings secret. Maybe it’s time to grow up and pay for the consequences of your actions….
Edit: to add genders.
In the comments:
She’s never taken any responsibility, only made excuses. My favourite was the one for her leaving us to care for ourselves- “you all made it clear you didn’t want to spend time with me”.
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I feel like she thought she’d gotten away with it at this point and that’s why she’s mad. To be honest I only told my sister for selfish reasons… we’ve only in recent years developed a close relationship and I didn’t want to lose that if she became mad at me for not telling her anything. I know there was always a layer of resentment towards me for “thinking I was the boss of her”. She needed somebody to be mad at and at the time I was okay with that person being me.
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Children (and young adults) get mad at the people it is safe to be mad at. It sounds like you took that anger to give her a safe space and a safe person. Now that she's of an age where she is old enough to hear the truth, where it's safe for her to be angry at your mom without risking breaking your family apart, you've given her the truth. That's quite heroic. I hope you find the peace and space to have a life of your own free from your mother's negligent abuse. You've certainly more than earned it.

OP: I never considered the aspect of somebody needing to be safe to be mad at them. That puts a lot into perspective… thank you. Tbh my mother has no influence over my life or feelings. I stopped regarding her as a parental figure long ago so her opinion of me, someone she really had no part in moulding, means nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I do not place the blame for all wrong doings exclusively on her, but she was certainly the catalyst for most of the difficult seasons. Every action or inaction I’ve ever made has been a decision to protect the other people she hurt which only served to protect her from backlash and I think it’s time she faced up.
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In some ways I think caring for them was all that kept me sane. I was so busy and exhausted by the day to day motions that I didn’t have time to reflect on my own feelings or the situation as a whole. Full survival mode I suppose. I appreciate that, a lot. I tried my best… in hindsight doing for them what I probably needed myself.
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She was cut out for a very long time. The stolen money (from myself) was the absolute last straw which resulted in me going no contact for about 5 years. Part of me thinks she was glad for that, too, because I’d threatened to press charges against the mystery thief if she didn’t fess up. But because of my sisters age, and her eventually choosing to live with mum, I felt compelled to be civil because I missed my sister. I live 4 hours from my hometown now, so maintaining a healthy distance is really quite easy.
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Curious about your dad, how is he doing rn? After knowing the truth, did your younger sister go living with your dad? And did he divorce your mother? And all that money she stole, what was she doing with that money? Did you get any of your money back?

OP: He’s doing really good, but of course had had a long time to pick up the pieces. In his 50s and still working 6 days a week- not because he needs to but because he’s never known anything else. His parents were immigrants so it was quite literally bred into him.
She’s 22 now and living with her partner. She and dad never had a strained relationship but after years of living exclusively with him, decided to spend the next few years with mum. Never any bad blood on either end where she’s concerned. They did divorce long ago, and as much as I find it strange, they still have a relatively positive relationship.
The money…. Literally who knows. Never saw a cent returned though! Dad didn’t know she stole from me until 6 ish years ago. Early on he was struggling and I knew he’d try to put the money back if I told him. He knew something had happened for me not to talk to my mother all those years but I hadn’t told him and she sure wasn’t going to.
Recently my husband and I built our first home and he was insistent on cutting “trade swaps” to save money which I strongly feel was his way of repaying her debt to me. He’s a great dad… has his flaws as every human does, but every step he’s taken has been with the intention of his kids not having to want for things as he and his siblings did.
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I only tolerated her in the past to keep my sister close- I don’t trust our mother to not hurt her in the process of getting what she wants. The partners family aren’t stupid and while they will hand out finance they will never relinquish control of it. If they suspect somebody of having ill intent, they’re cut out of all their lives. Mums husband does pretty well for himself and pays all their living expenses, but knowing her past will not give her unbridled access so she has to work to support her spending habit which is probably where the jealousy comes in.
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I used to tell my sister that I “don’t really know”, “can’t remember”, or “have only heard snippets of the story”, so not necessarily a lie but definitely deceit by omission.
1st Update:
Aaaand now she’s resorted to posting on Facebook, claiming that one of her “ingrates are spreading rumours to ruin her” JFC 🤦🏼‍♀️ I don’t even have Facebook, so not really sure what she’s trying to achieve in doing this, but an old family friend called my dad to ask what’s going on. Also, I’m speaking to nobody about the situation? I don’t even live in our hometown!!! If nothing else- she has nothing for me to ruin. No way I’m engaging or sinking to her level but seriously… what a waste of a person. Now the parents are fighting, she’s fighting with her current husband and shit is all around just getting messy. She thinks she’s making people feel sorry for her but mostly she just looks pathetic, if you ask me.
Update 2:
Turns out I REALLY don’t need to sink to her level, that’s been taken care of while I sleep. I guess mums privacy settings aren’t great and that’s working against her. The vague ‘woe is me’ post has been shared by three family members/ friends with a single, but far less cryptic, one liner. I’m told: “oh you mean the ingrate that raised your kids?”, “Should she be more grateful for your affair or the complete and utter abandonment of your three kids” and my absolute favourite (from my granny) “rot in hell you lying thieving bitch”
Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

Currently sitting next to a hospital bed with a friend I served with after a failed suicide attempt.
Gents Call the boys check on them more often they might say “living the dream”but we all know what that really means.
If you are going through it don't give in to your demons shoot that red star cluster in the air & get the support you need
The same way We call for 81’s to hammer the obj with a FFE, Rolling guns from 240s or when we need warheads on foreheads & for the squeeze inside a house. It should be the same when it comes to our mental health.
Pick up that phone & send your traffic. Semper fi

The desire to own land has been moving the prepping and off-grid communities for generations. Having a few acres that give you room to do almost anything you can think of is a dream for many of us. Even more, achieving self-sufficiency on such a lot, and having a large pond or a small woodlot, is the ultimate life goal for some.
Owning half an acre or more provides you with endless possibilities when it comes to farming and you must become as efficient as possible to avoid wasting time and resources. With a large lot, you just won’t have the time to do everything you want, and you will keep yourself busy all day trying to cover everything that needs to be done.
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Tools are needed

If you have a plot of land ranging from one to five acres, you will need certain tools to make your life easier. For example, a chainsaw can be used for both landscaping jobs and rough carpentry if needed.
If you plan to build a fence, you will need various tools to do the job right. A 13-pounds maul is an indispensable tool for wooden posts, and if you use fence wire, you’ll need wire stretchers.
The more fencing you have; the more work will be needed to keep vegetation from growing up in the fence lines. In such a case, a string trimmer becomes mandatory to clear the weeds.
Pulling and lifting jobs become impossible chores without a hand winch, a tool that becomes indispensable at times.
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A sturdy barn

As time goes by, you will acquire more and more tools, and you’ll find that a barn will become the ideal place to store all those tools. Even more, it will keep feed dry, it can host machinery and protect it from the elements, and it can accommodate your livestock. It can host a milking parlor for goats and pretty much all the utilities you can think of.
Most people go with the two-story, gable-roofed barn since this design passed the efficiency and time-lasting tests. Some folks incorporate their chicken coop into their barn, especially if one side of the building provides access to a pasture area. Also, keep in mind that your barn should be connected to a corral. By doing so, you will be able to move livestock between pens but also load them into a truck with ease.
Building a barn is not easy since you’re dealing with a large construction project, and it becomes a major responsibility. Your barn needs to be strong enough to hold a heavy load in the upper loft and be able to also keep the elements out.
When you decide to build a barn, look up the term “pole barns” since these empty shells can be erected for a reasonable price. Once you have the framework up and the roof in place, you will also be able to work on the rest of the barn as time and budget allow it.
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Building a greenhouse

Plastic sheeting, matched with plastic plumbing pipes and some scrap wood, allows you to build a cheap, small greenhouse that can host all your bedding plants and the seedlings you plan on selling.
There are all sorts of DIY YouTube videos that show you how to build inexpensive greenhouses. Having a greenhouse allows you to start the growing season early if you start your plants inside that greenhouse. It will also allow you to start potted plants, bedding plants, and pretty much anything you can think of without worrying about the late frost.
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Using your land efficiently

Having five acres provides you with the opportunity to take on just about any agricultural project you want. You will also be able to experiment with various projects, and you will discover that some will have greater success than others.
Having enough room allows you to experiment with different animals, crops, and various ways to monetize your operations. You will soon discover which works best for your situation and how much time you must spend to achieve a successful backyard farm.
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Setting a pasture

Some of the acreages on your farm should be used to establish a pasture for large meat-producing animals such as small cattle, pigs, sheep, alpacas. Anything other than chicken and rabbits could feed off this pasture.
The tricky thing with pastures is establishing how much pasture you allow per animal. This means that any given area can support a maximum number of animals. If you have a real winter with heavy frost and temperatures below the freezing point, for example, you will need to supplement your animals’ diet with hat, grains, or meal.
The quality of your pasture also impacts the number of animals it can sustain. To establish how good the land in your area is, you should ask local farmers for their opinions. Those with experience will be able to provide you with tips on how to increase the soil quality, what works best, and what doesn’t.
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Planting an orchard

Planting an orchard can bring you a good profit and provide you with more fruits than you could eat. However, the trick here is to establish which trees to plant. Plus, you should know that people have switched from standard-sized trees to dwarf fruit trees in recent years. They are doing so since it was established that you could get more fruit from such small trees, and you also cut corners on having to buy ladders and other equipment needed to pick the fruit.
A one-acre orchard can host around 100 standard-sized fruit trees that will bear fruit in five years. On the other hand, you could have between 400 to 600 dwarf fruit trees on that same acre, and they will bear fruit starting with the second or third year.
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Establishing a woodlot

Growing your own woodlot from scratch isn’t very practical, and it takes time, even if you plant fast-growing species. Even more, you should consider that the trees with the best firewood or those used in furniture manufacturing are usually the slowest growing ones.
However, if you already have a stand of timber on the land you bought, you can improve its growth, and in return, you will get some free firewood. Before deciding if you want to heat your home using only firewood, you must establish how well insulated your home is, how the climate in your area will affect your wood supply, and how efficient your wood burner is.
Also, you should consider the growth rate and the actual burning rate of the various species of trees available on your lot. To get a general idea of how much land is needed to grow your own firewood, you can establish how much wood you are using per year and compare that number with the standing timber you currently have on your property.
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Growing feed

If you have more than one acre of land, you can establish a feed growing area in which corn, sorghum cane, and other animal feeds can be grown. How much feed you can obtain from one acre is subjected to different variables, but you can keep in mind that the national field corn production average is between 110 and 150 bushels per acre.
If you manage to successfully grow your own feed, you’ll need a place to store it. So, here is where that barn comes into play.
Traditionally, field corn is kept in whole ears in corncribs, and smaller grains are kept in large cans or sacks. Sorghum cane is made into silage (high moisture fermented feed) by packing it into plastic bags and letting anaerobic fermentation do the work. Some folks also opt for silage instead of hay since it is much more nutritious for their livestock, so you might want to consider this option as well.
Some homesteaders grow beets as livestock feed since they hold their nutrients well during storage. But you have to consider that growing and harvesting beets is a much more sustained effort compared to other feed crops.
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Creating a pond

A pond is usually a body of water that is smaller than a lake, and digging one is not as expensive as some folks believe, considering the benefits you get for the rest of your life. You can hire heavy equipment for the day and have a decent-sized pond dug in one day’s time.
So, eight hours will be pretty much all the time you need to have your pond built. However, you must make sure you have clay-like soil in the area where you plan to create the pond; otherwise, you will have to line it with plastic or bentonite clay.
Also, consider that your land needs enough slope so that rain runoff can be diverted and keep your pond full. Once you have it filled with rainwater, you also have to stock it with fish and wait for the fish population to establish. Some large ponds won’t require feeding the fish, but in general, the fish will grow much faster if you take care of their needs in the first two years.
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Raising small livestock

Establishing a pasture allows you to keep a milk cow, but you have to figure out if your family is ready for a milk cow and if you can use that much milk. Instead of dealing with one or two milk cows (since some also decide to sell raw milk – which is a complicated endeavor), you could concentrate your efforts on smaller livestock like miniature cattle, sheep, and other animals.
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Miniature cattle

Tiny bovines have gained a lot of popularity in the last decade since some are not taller than 36 inches, and they can be raised for milk and meat without having to deal with the issues encountered when raising full-sized cattle. They are easier to handle, and transport and they require a smaller area, being cheaper to feed.
Miniature cattle are the micro version of the most common cattle breeds such as Holstein, Angus, Jersey, Hereford, but also Longhorn and Brahman. They can provide the right amount of meat for your family, and as far as your milk needs go, a miniature Holstein can give up to 3 gallons of milk per day.
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Sheep

Sheep will provide you with meat and milk and the valuable wool, which still remains the most used animal fiber on earth. If you decide to raise sheep, you should know that such animals require lush pastures and good fencing to contain them. Pastures for sheep are generally a mix of grass, forbs, and clover, but your sheep can also eat grains and hay. They also need clean, fresh water and an open-front shed.
To establish how many sheep you can raise, you can use the old rule stating that eight sheep can be raised on the land needed by one Jersey cow. Also, since you will use manure as fertilizer, you should know that one sheep can produce more than a ton of manure per year, and in general, sheep manure is a much better fertilizer compared to cattle manure.
One alternative for your animal fiber-producing project would be to raise alpacas. The value of alpaca fiber is unmatched due to its similarity to wool but also because it’s less itch and has hypoallergenic properties. You can go with the Suri breed with long and straight hair or pick the Huacaya breed with wooly and dense hair.
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Pigs

Many Americans love pork meat, and everyone I’ve met so far loves bacon. That being said, you should know that swine can be raised successfully, even in very small areas, in a humane manner. That is, of course, if you don’t have close neighbors that could be bothered by your meat production mission.
Some farm-friendly communities will allow you to grow everything except pigs since they “smell bad.” However, this is a misconception, and pigs are usually clean animals if they are not crammed together in small spaces. Pen pigs stand up to their reputation in terms of smell and cleanliness, so free-range pigs (pigs raised on pastures and in woodlands) may be the way to go if you have the available space.
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Helpful machinery to consider

No backyard farm is complete without a few helpful machines that make all chores much easier. Here are some options you should consider if you embark on such a project.
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Tractor

Tractors come in all sizes and shapes (although they do look alike), and there are clear distinctions between a small tractor and, let’s say, a riding lawnmower. Your riding lawn mower has a single purpose (mowing the lawn), and it usually has about three speeds forward. On the other hand, a small tractor can have between four and ten speeds forward, hydraulics, a three-point hitch, and a heavy-duty build that should last for a lifetime (ideally).
Small tractors can be used to pull trailers full of heavy things, and they have gears for various tasks. Some of the more popular implements are plow, grader blade, mower, bush-hog, log splitter, loader, and post-hole auger.
Tractors provide you with many options, and you can do a lot of jobs that you won’t consider until the time to do so comes. They are well-built, and they aren’t cheap since they are considered universal pieces of machinery or tools. That said, you can opt for a good used tractor if money is a problem.
If you have five acres or less, you can also go with a smaller tractor, and you can pick an import one from Japan, Korea, China, or India. Or you can look for an old Ford N-serries. Even so, there are pros and cons to each.
The import ones are newer and more modern and have various features such as very low range transmissions and many forward speeds, modern hydraulics, and a four-wheel-drive system that will prove quite handy. However, the more complex they are, the harder it will be to fix them.
On the other hand, the Ford N-series are much simpler, and they allow you to fix almost everything yourself, provided you have the owner’s manual and the wits to do it. Even if the Fords are old models, there are many out there in perfect running condition, and their simplicity in design makes them a great purchase. Parts are cheap and easy to install, and you can get a good used one for half the price you will pay for an import one.
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Two-wheel tractor

These little machines are known in popular terms as “walk-behind tractors” and can till up a heavy garden in short order with little input from the operator. These are the perfect machines if you have ground to till, and they can perform other jobs as well, provided you have the proper attachments. For example, you can blow snow using a two-wheel tractor, or you can pull carts loaded with heavy items.
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Skid-steer loader

You can also find a small skid loader on many farms since these machines do not require steering like tractors, and they can pivot by breaking one side or the other. They are extremely useful and easy to operate in close quarters since they can turn around at their own length.
Let’s say you need to move and place something within an inch or so of a certain area. Using a tractor requires complex maneuvers to do the job right but using a skid loader will make working in one spot a precise and fast operation.
And just like tractors, such types of machinery have all sorts of available implements that will fit on the front. This alone makes them ideal for lifting and moving things. They can do various bulldozer-like jobs if they are equipped with the proper implements, and some people will even dig their own ponds using nothing more than a skid-steer loader. You can also find implements such as tree shears, stump grinders, buckets, and grapples for your loaders.
Even more, these are the preferred machines and a treasured investment for those farming in their late years since they can handle a lot of lifting and portability tasks.
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Concluding

Farming on a large plot of land offers a lot of opportunities, but one also needs to plan things ahead before the heavy lifting starts. Each project will have its ups and downs, and some will prove to be most rewarding and minimize the failure of the less successful ones.
Having the right tools and the proper knowledge to use them to handle various jobs also becomes mandatory on a large farm. You will spend your time more efficiently, and you will be able to take care of more and more tasks if you have the tools that can replace manual labor. The possibilities are endless, but you need to consider your abilities and limitations when farming on a large lot.
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The aim of this thread is to move away from pushing individual threads to EA representatives and give them a single place to review their nonsense. Useful feedback can be in many forms but an easy format would be provide your observation, show data or proof and suggest a solution. Feel free to comment on other's suggestions. An example could be:
Observation: The Power Up program is not successful.
Data: Provide links to any number of the dozens of complaint posts related to power ups.
Suggestion: Allow players to power down and sell the players or ensure the best version of a card is always a power up.

I am in my last year of highschool. in previous years i have already been struggling with the workload and project submissions due to horrendous mental health. recently, my literature teacher gave my class a partner presentation and i got paired with my desk mate who i am not very close to, and she is a very productive person. we assigned our parts and she's done hers and now i have to do mine but i am stuck??
since the second week of the term i've been going through some very intense burnout and overwhelming depression. i've called counsellors and tried to communicate to my teachers as best as i can, but the advice was very much the same. "i can't help you with that, you're just gonna have to do your best to keep up".
honestly, it's gotten to the point where i can't brush my hair or teeth regularly because i'm so exhausted from life. i feel so gross to admit it but getting out of bed is getting so hard and i've been forcing myself to go to school but even then there's been times i've had to call in sick because i'm so mentally drained that getting out of bed is not an option.
that being said, doing the project feels impossible for me no matter how small i break the tasks down to. i feel bad and like i'm letting down my partner for the project amd i've been trying for days on end to analyse and write down the notes i need for the presentation but i can't come up with anything no matter how hard i try. i'm aware that any tips and advice is probably going to come after the project is due but i figured it is worth a shot. any help is appreciated xx
also, i hope you are all having a good day

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 49%. (I'm a bot)

Switzerland's parliament is hosting the first session of people with disabilities today.
The session got underway with only 44 out of 200 parliamentary seats occupied, to symbolise the 22% of the Swiss population with disabilities - a total of 1,8 million people.
"We expect to be taken seriously, which I have the impression is not the case today," Verena Kuonen, Co-President of Inclusion Handicap organisation for people with disabilities, told Swiss public broadcaster RTS. "We should do away with obstacles to wheelchair access, documentation for the blind and sign language interpretation for deaf people."
The special session comes after years of campaigning for a greater inclusion of people with disabilities.
The Swiss government had previously admitted that disabled people still face discrimination in everyday life, the workplace, public services and politics and called for a review of the Disability Equality Act to eliminate obstacles to disabled people participating in society.
This content was published on Mar 24, 2023 Mar 24, 2023 Swiss student Irene Stüssi is one of the 44 people taking part in the first special parliamentary session for people with disabilities in Switzerland.

Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: people^#1 Disability^#2 session^#3 Swiss^#4 Switzerland^#5
Post found in /worldnews.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.

We just got back from a week in tulum for a festival and we had a group of 9 and got an Airbnb which was a condo called Kite in the residence called Luum. It was actually so beautiful. Slept 11 comfortably for 4k for a whole week. Had a private roof top pool with two cabanas and chairs, had a lovely separate sitting area up top too.
We had big windows and has a great view of the greenery, the beds were comfy and the closets were all really put together.
But the main thing I wanted to boast on is that this is a condo residence (with great security) but they had a SPA and restaurant on site walkable.
The spa was absolutely breath taking, open from 8-10 daily and they provide towels and also host yoga in this beautiful structure every other day. The spa had a regular pool that had seating and actually went outside to the pool at the restaurant. There was a hot tub and my personal favorite, a cold pool. There was a dry sauna next to the cold pool. Honestly the best was the wet spa. You go down a set of stairs and it’s an actual stone dome legit wet sauna. It was absolutely incredible and we had access to it all time!! The staff was all so nice and cute and the restaurant was amazing we ate there daily and didn’t have a bad meal. If anyone is trying to stay in Aldea zama, Luum is awesome.

As a language model, I do not have access to real-time information and cannot make subjective judgments about businesses. However, there are several resources that you can consult to find the best businesses in Raleigh, North Carolina. Here are a few suggestions:
Visit Raleigh: The official tourism website for Raleigh has a comprehensive guide to local businesses, attractions, and events.
Yelp: This website and app allows users to search for businesses by category, location, and user reviews.
Raleigh Chamber of Commerce: The local Chamber of Commerce can provide information on businesses in Raleigh, including member directories, events, and economic data.
Google Maps: This app can help you find business guide of Raleigh by category and location, and provides user reviews and ratings.
Local media outlets: Local newspapers and TV stations often publish features on businesses in the area, highlighting new and noteworthy establishments.
Remember to always do your own research and due diligence before doing business with any company, and to read reviews from multiple sources to get a well-rounded understanding of a business.

Hello all,
I am post break-up since November and no contact since January. I feel like it's gotten only worse since no contact I enforced.
For context, in November my partner told me that while they "loved me, they weren't in love with me." Upon asking what the factors that caused the break, I was given that I was perfect, considerate of my ex's numerous boundaries, and that things were fine. Her words before she left were her "desperately" needing me in her life. It was nothing but confusion since there nothing I could base the break up on. During the contact trying to be friends, she gave severe mixed signals in which her family, best friend, and my friends have labeled it as manic/not sure what she is doing/etc. All the individuals still reaching out to this day wishing to maintain a friendship. We were planning a wedding this past summer and I was actively looking for rings.
I went full no contact when I began to clean out the rest of her stuff and found a journal. This journal began to state how she was worried what everyone else would think and that they would have recommended she communicate her issues, that she felt unhappy and stuck. Using a Phoenix analogy about how her happiness would rise up. This felt like a knife when her feelings of stuck felt like protection with a depiction of our relationship below.
We were together 5 years, living together for 2. We began living together as she was feeling stuck at home (she also had stuck feelings with her work). During this time she had a lot of boundaries due to past trauma, needing a very slow pace and support. Once we began living together, she hardly did anything besides the occasional trip to target for things we needed around the house. I cleaned, took care of animals, cooked, and initiated any sort of intimacy or plans that involved leaving the house. She on the other hand only wanted to play video games and watch YouTube. She would sit in the same spot before and after work until bed. When trying to communicate these issues of one sidedness, I got a "out of spoons and exhausted" reasoning. She often said she was waiting for the other foot to drop or that she could be more help around the house if I had more income to allow it.
To this day, her family informed me that she has continued the same behaviors. I set a boundary regarding not to speak about her for my own sanity. I've been following my therapist's guidance and attended CoDA meetings but I'm afraid it's not very beneficial with only 2 members (an old couple, who attached to me due to their issues)
Even with all this above, I desperately want to reach out and attempt to atleast communicate since she and I were planning a wedding and were very excited for our future regardless.. I just don't know when?

After broaching a subject that have been steaming for a while, one of my best friends had completely checked out whilst I solemnly dealt with breaking up I almost 10-year marriage because I couldn't deal with the way that I was being treated anymore.
We had a nice bonfire at my place a while back and he told me that he was embarrassed about how I was acting, embarrassed about how I was acting while I was going through the most traumatic thing in my entire life in my own backyard at my own bonfire with what I assumed was my best friend and a couple other best friends..
It was a rough moment and I had to put him in his place and tell him to stay away, the way he had chosen to be for the last 5 months that I was dealing with the roughest thing ever while he had no interest in helping or advising or caring or helping anyway whatsoever..
Unfortunately my emotions got the best of me and I drove by her place/the house that I had poured my own blood sweat and tears into for many many years with remodels and being the sole provider paying for everything always..
It's late Saturday night she wasn't home, my phone for a few times and got the classic Fu button..
So I took a sawzall and trimmed a bit of landscaping..
I know she's out with somebody else in their bed clicking the red button when I've called her phone..
It's my weekend to have our daughters and they are over at the best friend's house having a sleepover with his daughter..
It's been a rough process throughout and my emotions got the best of me.
I'm not really proud of any of it except for maybe 3%..
Ponytail palms birds of paradise all kinds of good stuff, I just can't believe this existence this world or any of it really..
I've been watching healing from narcissistic abusive relationships audio books while I drive to and from work and everything makes total sense, it just blows my mind entirely..
Things were quite a bit amical before but I don't know if they will be afterwards now but I don't really care..
Anyway I hope somebody gets a little bit of something out of this, I know I did.