Bon appetit freezer meals

Hi everyone! I just recently started my journey earlier this week and I am actually sticking to it. I am 5’1 at 163lbs and I am trying to just get to normal weight for my height (120-130lbs). I am planning to be ~130lbs by the end of the year. I picked up walking to get in 6500-10000+ steps a day, and I am also looking to start working out 2-3x a week.
I have tried Keto and IF in the past before but while I lost weight, I was always irritable and it was easy to gain it all back. I also eat a lot - three meals plus random snacking, and when I tried to count it, I eat 1800-1900cal a day.
Does anyone know the best way to cut down for people with larger appetite but don’t want to be hungry for the day?

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I have room in my meal plan for a 100cal snack and I want to find something as filling as possible, as I don’t eat for a long time after this snack and I’ve always had a huge appetite. So, what would be better; a high volume snack like popcorn, or a high protein but calorie dense snack like a mini clif bar? I always hear conflicting information, so what would keep me fuller; something that (physically) fills my stomach, or some protein (which I definitely don’t get enough of anyway 😅)?
Thank you all for your feedback.

I was on 2.5 for 1 month and just went up to 5 about 1 week ago. I’ve lost roughly 12 lbs. I was very careful about everything I was eating at first because I was terrified of side effects. I have experienced ZERO side effects other than mild cramps and indigestion that frankly feel the same as before MJ. Therefore I’ve found I haven’t really needed to change anything about my diet. I eat everything I ate before, just less of it. The major benefit is that I have no desire to binge eat. I used to get insane cravings for fast food or have a pile of cheese and crackers late at night, and that’s gone. I eat three small meals a day of whatever I want (meat, pasta, even fried food) and I don’t exercise at all, and weight is slowly still coming off. I’m sure if I tried a little harder I’d lose more weight.
My experience I’d like to share is with drinking. I actually have had no issues with having cocktails or wine so far, even 2-3 drinks at a time (over the course of several Hours). However I think it interferes with the medications effects. When I first went up to my 5 dose, the next day I had that wonderful peaceful feeling of complete appetite suppression all day (I realize that doesn’t necessarily sound healthy, but for someone who suffered from using food like a drug- lack of hunger is the most freeing feeling). The day after though, I had a G&T as we grilled on the deck, and in minutes I felt a strong hunger drive, and scarfed down 2 hot dogs without thinking.
I guess this is a reason why cutting out alcohol completely would be best while on this medication, which from what I’ve read is recommended. Curious about your experiences and what anyone knows about how alcohol interferes with the med.

Hi sweet mamas! This standalone post is a follow-up to a comment I made on a post yesterday, which blew up overnight. In that post, I told a newly delivered mom “I’m a CLC who, as passionate as I am about breastfeeding, has encouraged many women to stop breastfeeding, and I have no shame in doing so”. I fired off that quick comment before I went to bed, and the response I woke up to was overwhelming. I got so many PMs from moms who admitted to having been bullied by their LCs, and that breaks my heart. So I’m here to share some insights about breastfeeding.
Disclaimer: I am a Certified Lactation Counselor, but not your hired CLC. This is not medical advice. Consider this guidance when choosing your own CLC.
First of all, I have witnessed over my career, that more women would be successful at their breast milk feeding journeys (exclusive breast, combo, or exclusive pumping) if they were (A) informed and prepared for how challenging it is in the beginning, including full transparency about cluster feeding during supply establishment; (B) they were paired with supportive, non-authoritative LCs; and (C) a metric shitton of improved social supports, including paid maternity AND paternity leave, better partners, at home physical checks on mom and baby, and solid community supports.
[1] Breast feeding is fucking hard. Yes I said it. Your baby is born with a stomach the size of a cherry pit. And typical responders will produce just enough milk to fill that little cherry pit for the first 2-3 days. What does that mean? Baby needs to snack All. Damn. Day. And. Night. Like, every hour on the hour. It’s EXHAUSTING. If you don’t have a rock solid partner who will do literally everything else for you, this will break you very quickly. I don’t say this to scare you, I say this to prepare you. If more women knew this was a very hard but temporary part of the breast feeding journey, and had themselves mentally prepared and had corralled an army of support, we would see fewer drop offs on the first 2 weeks of breast feeding. Prepare the freezer meals. Have your partner change every diaper, every outfit, put baby in/out of the bassinet, refill your water, bring you your food… you should literally take your self to and from the bathroom, have a baby on your boob, and sleep. That’s it.
[2] Unless otherwise medically indicated (primarily having an infant in the NICU), YOU SHOULD NOT NEED TO PUMP in the first month or more! Pumping fucking sucks. And if you do number one as above (baby on the boob all day errday), your supply should increase just perfectly for your baby (again, barring rare complications on the mom’s part, or a tongue tie on baby’s part, the latter of which is pretty common). Introducing the stress, discomfort, and time suck that is pumping in the early days of breast feeding is not only unnecessary but then you set mom up for risk of oversupply which is NOT a good thing.
[3] 👏🏼 THERE 👏🏼 IS 👏🏼 NO 👏🏼 SUCH 👏🏼 THING 👏🏼 AS 👏🏼 NIPPLE 👏🏼 CONFUSION 👏🏼 If your LC tells you this, fire them. I’m not fucking kidding: it’s a bold faced lie meant to shame moms. When baby does great with the bottle but screams at the breast, or vice versa, it is not nipple confusion, it’s any one or all of these three things: (1) flow mismatch, (2) volume mismatch, (3) oral motor mismatch.
Flow mismatch: the speed of which milk comes out of the bottle is not the same as what comes out of the breast, and that confuses baby and pisses them off.
Volume mismatch: the amount given to baby in a bottle the first few weeks is 99.99% of the time much more than what mom makes, which does NOT mean there is anything wrong with mom’s supply! Remember that cherry pit size tummy I spoke about earlier? Well it should gradually expand each day as supply increases. If you shove a full three ounces into that tiny tummy, you fast track it to stretch to full capacity before it is ready. And babies are obligate suckers, meaning they will suck if there’s a nipple in their mouth, even if they aren’t hungry. So you give them a full bottle, then 3 hours later put ‘em back on the boob where they get a healthy 10mL from mama instead of the 90mL you just slammed down their gullet with the bottle, and yup, you guessed it: that confuses baby and pisses them off.
Oral motor mismatch: most of the bottles on the market are a terrible shape for an optimal latch (and fun fact: if the bottle markets that they are “just like the breast” the vast majority of them are, in fact, not at all like the breast. Go on YouTube and watch the breast feeding MRI video -or don’t if you don’t want to be scarred about what your nipples look like inside a baby’s mouth- Your nips are long and skinny. Those wide ass baby bottles can go shove it, and so can their marketing teams because shame on them). Most wide bottles encourage decreased tongue cupping and instead promote increased jaw excursions. That’s fancy speak for your baby is gonna start biting you like a fucking shark, because that is how the milk comes out of the bottle you likely purchased. And no milk comes out when they bite your boobs, so baby is starved and, say it with me… that confuses baby and pisses them off.
Okay, so what does all this mean for you, the exhausted, raw, bleeding, chapped, and likely hemorrhoid-ed warrior that you are? If you’re newly delivered and dealing with the misinformation I’ve typed above, it means you need to fire your LC. There are good ones out there but they can be hard to find, and unfortunately the ones that work in hospitals have tended to be some of the worst ones in my observation (having worked at a hospital for over a decade).
If you’re pregnant, start interviewing private LCs in your community and get one lined up before you deliver. Ask them about their thoughts on pumping immediately after birth, nipple confusion, etc. Ask then how they will support you if you feel like you’re done breastfeeding.
Uncomfortable news flash: stop playing the social media comparison game about getting All The Unnecessary Fancy Shit so you can have an instagram perfect nursery. You don’t need half the stuff on your registry. You don’t need a goddamn Moses basket, ladies! You know what you need? The “please just give me money” option on your Babylist registry, so people can chip in for you to hire necessary services: a private LC, a night nurse even if it’s just 1-2 nights a week, a housecleaner, etc. Unfortunately, most countries no longer follow the communal model that we used to have which was so much more beneficial for moms and children. So we have to build it (and usually pay for it) ourselves. Focus on the stuff that actually matters and gather your tribe around you, which will give you way more peace of mind and add much more value to your life than that stupid Moses basket ever will.
Your baby deserves a happy, healthy, well mama. And whether that means you need to formula feed, slap on a nipple shield, pump and bottle feed, sleep train, take mental health meds, hire a night nurse and sleep in… DO IT, with no reservations. At the end of the day, go forth and feed those babies however you damn well please.

I know you’ll never see this letter, and I suppose I should be grateful for that, but I still feel so stupid for writing it. Stupid because there’s no reason my feelings should be this strong and my heart should hurt this badly. We were only talking for a few short weeks but, man, I fell HARD and I fell FAST. But now it’s all over and I’m left here to pick up the pieces. I’m sure you’re happy with her, and that’s great. I want you to be happy. But I want to be happy too. So, in an attempt to help heal my broken heart, I just wanted to write down (almost) all the things I’ll never get to say:
-When you first messaged me after we matched for the 4th time in as many years, you said “the universe just wants us to be together.” I responded by saying “and who are we to tell the universe it’s wrong?” Well, we called the universe’s bluff and now I feel like I’m the one paying the price for it. You get to move on and fall in love and I get to sit at home, too afraid to go out anywhere in case I run into you. If I need to drive through your neighborhood to get somewhere, I’ll take a longer route just to avoid the possibility of seeing you.
-I still walk the dog on that nature trail and by the park where we had our first date. I feel safe there because you didn’t know it existed before I told you about it, and there’s a very slim chance you’ll ever go back. It’s the dog’s favorite route to walk along though, so I still take him every day after work. But it breaks my heart to be there because all I can think of is you, and our conversation, and the way my head rested perfectly on your chest when we hugged because you’re so tall, and the way your lips felt pressed against mine.
-the dog is on a diet and I hate that every time I feed him, the sound of kibble and chicken falling into his bowl is replaced with your laughter as you said “aww no look at him, he ain’t missing no meals!” He was wary of you, but oddly enough I think he misses you. When we pass by someone on our walks that looks even remotely like you, his tail will wag uncontrollably and he tries to jump on them. He still growls a bit, but he just seems sad when he realizes it’s not you. I do too.
-I hate doing laundry now because doing laundry means I need to open the closet door where the washer and dryer are. The same door you picked me up and pressed me up against, my legs wrapped around your waist, when you did everything you could to turn me into putty in your hands. I want to pull those doors off the hinges so I don’t have to look at them every day.
-You ruined chocolate chip cookies for me. They were my favorite midnight snack and now all I think about is baking late-night, post-sex cookies with you. I’ve been fortunate to live my entire life without any allergies, but now it feels like just one cookie will kill me. Even when I pass by the pre-made dough in the grocery store, I can feel my heart constrict and my throat close up.
-You ruined Star Wars for me. I thought it was so cute how you, a chemistry nerd, never saw the penultimate nerd series. I was excited for our plans to have a movie marathon. I was excited to show you to the galaxy. Now I stop the microwave before the timer hits 0:00 because it sounds like R2-D2 and it makes me lose my appetite.
-I bought new lingerie I was hoping to surprise you with. It arrived in the mail after we stopped talking. I can’t even force myself to try them on to make sure the sizes are correct. They’re just sitting in a drawer with the tags still on, collecting dust. I used to feel sexy and confident in my underwear. Now I feel like a sheepish little girl, too afraid to undress in the locker room before PE class.
-I told you I didn’t want kids, and that only one man in my entire life truly made me consider starting a family, but that he hurt me so badly I was completely sworn off. That was a lie. Maybe not at first, but it became a lie. When I found out you had a kid, after the shock and hurt subsided, after you spoke of how much you love your child, there was a second man I could see holding my child in his arms. You. A gorgeous little creature who would be the best parts of you and me put together. Now I fear that if I ever have children, I’ll resent them because they won’t be half of you.
-I hate that every time I see a car like yours, my heart skips a beat. I almost got into an accident the other day because I thought I passed you on my way into town. I’m afraid to drive now because all I do is look out for your car, wondering if you’re looking out for mine.
-I hate how deeply I care about you, and how I wish you nothing but the purest love and happiness. I hate that I can’t hate you. It would all be so much easier if I hated you. I wouldn’t be hurting so much. I could chalk this all up to the fact that you’re an asshole. A player. You used me and threw me away. But that’s not you. You’re kind and caring and gentle and, if I had only given us a proper chance, I could have known what it would feel like to be truly loved by you.
-I hate that I swallowed my pride and apologized, when I honestly didn’t have much to apologize for, only to be met with silence. My pride was all I had left, and now that’s gone too. And I especially I hate how pathetic and desperate this all sounds. After my last serious heartbreak, I put so much time and effort into myself, and I reminded myself that I am amazing and anyone is lucky to have me. Now I’m back to apologizing for using up oxygen.
-I hate that I believed you when you said you still wanted me, desired me, even though I could feel the distance between us growing larger. And I hate that now you’re so cold, so indifferent. I hate that you act like it was all just in my head. Even if it was, I wish you would just say that instead of leaving me with radio silence. It would be easier to understand that maybe I really am just obsessive or crazy, than to be left wondering how it all went wrong. But I know there’s nothing to wonder about. You said that if you didn’t want to talk to me, you wouldn’t. It appears you are a man of your word. I just wish I took you at your word when I still had the chance.
-You said I don’t know you or understand you, and I hate that you’re right. I hate that you don’t know or understand me either. We never gave each other the chance to. And I hate that we’ll probably never get that chance again.
-I want you to be happy, and I hope she does make you happy. But, like I said, I want to be happy too. I want to be with you. I want to hear your laugh again, see your perfect smile again, hear your heart beat as I lay on your chest again. I want to feel you in me again, holding me tightly. I want to sit on the swing with you, my legs across your lap as I listen to you tell me all your wildest stories. I want to feel your lips press against my forehead as you slip out of bed. I just want to feel like you care again. Even if it was all in my head.
I know we may never speak again, but I want you to know that I will always want you. And I hate that. But I don’t hate you. Not even a little bit.
Yours, always.
Baddie

Hi all,
Giving another report on my weight loss journey on Wegovy:
https://preview.redd.it/ouzvs23pje3b1.png?width=2778&format=png&auto=webp&s=31dd691b54b7aa55c15cf124ca8546690dbd944b

SW: 236 Last Month: 216 CW: 207 GW: 165

My PCP told me during my last visit that my weight loss on .25mg and .5mg was going to be due to lifestyle changes. While I experienced the appetite suppression and worked out more often on those doses, I found that it only gave me an edge. Which, don't get me wrong.. that was great, but a little frustrating because I had to work out like a mad man to hit my 2 lbs per week goal and even then I had weeks where I just lost one pound. Not an issue though because this medicine takes time to work... so I stuck to the program!
The past month was my first month on 1mg and wow; I hate alcohol, I'm always exhausted, and I'm losing weight despite my best efforts to eat when I can. While I'm chronically exhausted, I still bring myself to work out at the gym but I'm now lifting weights and minimizing the cardio. I'm easily losing 2 lbs a week without incrementing my activity or decreasing food intake.
That said, I found myself craving protein all the time. Chicken breast is perhaps my favorite meat now, it used to be NY strip or skirt. Because of this, I also decided to start replacing some meals with protein shakes. 25g per scoop, two scoops per day gives me half of my daily protein which makes it easier to fulfill the rest -- roughly a 1.5 cups of chicken breast. I noticed that when I started protein supplementation that my body composition started to change for the better and the weight still kept coming off.
I'm down to a medium shirt size from a "large is too tight" and four pant sizes. I'm starting to see some vascularity although I feel like I'm losing muscle. I didn't figure out my protein deficit until earlier last month so I still need time to figure out whether that corrects it. I'm going to give it another month and ask my PCP whether supplementation (creatine, etc) is appropriate. All that said, I feel and look great in comparison to last month and that month I looked better than the month before. Very happy with the results!
Going forward, I'm continuing on 1mg this month since I am reacting well to it and I plan to augment another day to my 3-days a week schedule.
Takeaways:

• Scale often and track progress -- but also take a moment and look at yourself in the mirror and take pictures in the same mirror and lighting. The scale will lie to you especially if taking up weight lifting, but the trend over long periods of time (months) will show your progress.
• Get plenty of rest. Listen to your body, if you're exhausted then rest.
• The delaying of gastric emptying effect is worth it's weight in gold. It kicked in for me at 1mg.
• Protein supplementation is making weight loss easier to achieve.

I’m planning on making some freezer meals to easily heat up during the postpartum stage. What were some of your favorites that you suggest? TIA!

The greatest New Mexican cuisine is available at Chile Monster, your one-stop shop for inexpensive and delectable meals, spices, snacks, cookbooks, and more. Bring any of our Frontier restaurant items home, including tortillas, frozen roasted chiles, green chile salsa, chile stew, chile pork posole, and the finest breakfast burritos. We offer flavours to satisfy every appetite you may have. Check out all of the Frontier goods that would make excellent kitchen additions. You've come to the perfect location whether you're looking for a specific dish or want to sample one of our many cuisines. Choose your favourites or completely try something new. Shop with ease for Frontier supplies as well as other distinctive products from various restaurants and brands on our website. We have all the flavours you enjoy in our shop, whether they are savoury, spicy, hot, or sweet. Browse through our high-quality items at your own pace.

I tried HelloFresh with a coupon recently. It was fine but I won’t use it again (my family is awkwardly sized and it only really works for when my husband is traveling). I have more interest in cooking than what is probably average for a HelloFresh customer, and noticed that most of the recipes contained 95% ingredients that I keep a version of in my pantry or deep freezer on a regular basis. That said, the meals were fine in general so I kept several of the recipe cards to add to our rotation … is one able to look up more of these recipes anywhere?

All the charm I had in school are gone, i’m 23M and it’s been four years since i left my apartment, maybe once in every two months. I work online, so i don’t get to deal with people much. I order all my groceries, rarely go out, I eat one meal a day only to survive because I lost my appetite and im fucking paranoid.
I just ordered a fan since my living room doesn’t have an air conditioner, tell why I keep checking it every minute wanting to rip it apart because I believe there’s a camera inside. there’s not even enough holes where you can see through it but im still somehow convinced. my brain officially checked out. I keep thinking everyone is watching me when no one cares. I get madly angry when I walk on street because I don’t like how people look at me, sometimes I yell “what are you looking at?” but they just look at me like im fucked up in thd head
I don’t do drugs not even weed, and neither do I drink that much. I liked the attention back in school I liked being adored but now fucking hell im fucking insecure no matter how many people tell me that im handsome or great I still feel like shit because I spent so much time alone where im only in my head don’t do that to yourself be out there, go out walk alone if you don’t have anyone just don’t lock yourself in a box it won’t do you good it will only make you look like a lunatic
also sorry for my english im french.

My doctor told me I'm not allowed to lose more weight. I've worked very hard to lose 30 pounds in 6 months, and I want to celebrate this as a victory as I am finally considered a "healthy" weight, but this success is undercut because my doctor is extremely concerned about my ARFID. She thinks it will continue to get worse without intervention and she is right.
I found limiting my calorie intake to be difficult and exhausting some days, but now I need to worry about getting enough. I'm not, and I no longer have the motivation to. I find preparing food aggravating to my ARFID, so I put off eating until I'm extremely hungry and then I have no energy to prepare anything. I'm afraid to keep going down this path. I'm okay for right now, but what about in another 6 months?
It seems that for me, the solution is talking to someone who specialises in ARFID and I'm so scared and uncomfortable at the idea that I want to cry. All the treatment I've seen is exposure therapy and I don't want to. I have never felt more weak and cowardly than when I am sitting at a table, holding back tears as I try to eat. I want to be healthy. I want to seem normal. Of all the things in my life I have faced, how can it be that this, simply eating, is the thing I can't do?
I tried a shake with vegetables mixed in a few days ago. It took me two hours to drink and I had no appetite the rest of the day. I just felt sick and slept till evening. Even my absolute favorite, safest of safe foods was a struggle that night. It was terrifying.
I want to travel. I want to go to restaurants with friends and coworkers and not worry about if there will be food I can eat. I never ever again want to resign myself to skip a meal because there aren't safe foods. I'm so tired of just eating bread at restaurants. I'm so tired of letting myself go hungry. I'm so tired of not being able to relate to what should be a universal human experience.
I know I need treatment and I'm so scared to get it. What if I fail? What if I never get better? What if I go through it all and come out worse?

If you are looking to build your immunity, these simple Ayurvedic tips for diet and lifestyle will help you stay in good health.
Ayurveda is a form of holistic medicine that is focused on promoting balance between your body and mind. According to this ancient school of medicine, five elements make up the universe — vayu (air), jala (water), akash (space), teja (fire), and prithvi (earth). These elements are believed to form three different doshas, which are defined as types of energy that circulate within your body.
Each dosha is responsible for specific physiological functions. For example, the pitta dosha controls hunger, thirst, and body temperature. Meanwhile, the vata dosha maintains electrolyte balance and movement, while the kapha dosha promotes joint function.
What do you mean by lifestyle?
What is the Ayurvedic diet?
The Ayurvedic diet is an eating pattern that has been around for thousands of years. It is based on the principles of Ayurvedic medicine and focuses on balancing different types of energy within your body, which is said to improve health. Unlike many other diets, the Ayurvedic diet provides personalized recommendations about which foods to eat and avoid based on your body type. It’s also popular because it’s not only said to promote better health for your body but also your mind.
The term ‘lifestyle’ incorporates ahara (food habits) and vihara (dos and don’ts in lifestyle). Lifestyle-related disorders occur only because the individual is not using or adopting a way of life, according to the self-constitution of the body. It is interesting to note that Ayurveda classics have emphasized the role of faulty lifestyle and inappropriate dietary habits in the causation and pathogenesis of diseases.
What are some general lifestyle management tips to improve immunity?
1. Wake up early in the morning:
Ayurveda advises to wake up in “Brahmi Muhurtha”, which is about 45 minutes before sunrise. The period of Brahma Muhurta is an intermittent duration between respiration and photosynthesis in the plant kingdom. There will be an abundance of nascent oxygen, which easily mixes with hemoglobin to form oxyhemoglobin, which reaches even the most remote tissues and also boosts the immune system.
2. Have freshly prepared food:
Avoid bread, biscuits, and all other packaged food items. Hot food increases the agni or metabolic fire on entering the belly (stomach). This in turn sets right the metabolism, enhances appetite and capacity to digest food. It also expels the vitiated vayu and reduces or destroys the vitiated kapha, and keeps it under balance.
3. Don’t mix cooked and uncooked foods:
As per Ayurveda, mixing cooked and raw foods together makes the digestion process complicated. It is easy for our digestive tract to break down cooked food, as the enzymes become activated.
4. No coffee or tea on empty stomach or just before a meal:
Coffee isn’t great for everyone at all times, but it can be okay for some people at specific times. This is assuming that the coffee is consumed consciously, with one’s dosha, state of health, and the current season taken into consideration.
Every possible thing that you don’t want should happen will be amplified if you have it on an empty stomach. If you have an overheated, hyper-acidic digestive tract, it’s like putting acid directly on acid. Try either having food with your coffee or waiting until after you’ve had breakfast to enjoy your first cup.
5. Milk or dairy products:
When it comes to milk and dairy products, it’s helpful to keep the context of Ayurveda’s origins in mind. This nature-based system of healing developed in ancient India, long before the advent of synthetic hormones, factory farms, food manufacturing facilities, or agribusiness. While milk and dairy products are common, they are often not of the same quality enjoyed centuries ago. Most of the milk and products which are available in the market are adulterated.
6.. Digestion works in accordance with the sun:
Ayurveda explains the digestion strength as agni, a Sanskrit word meaning fire. All the factors involved with digestion – enzymes, hydrochloric acid, etc are collectively termed as agni. The pitta period of the day is when the sun rises to its highest point in the sky. Pitta dosha is the one that helps to do this process smoothly.
7. Strictly eat three meals a day:
There is certainly a proper time to do everything, and intake of food is no exemption. We need to follow proper timing for consuming food. One should not consume food within one yama (3 hours) of consumption of food. If taken, it leads to rasodvega or indigestion. Improperly digested food, if put into circulation, is dangerous for health and becomes life-threatening.
8. Don’t drink water for 1.5 hours after food:
Drinking water after food affects both the quality of food and digestion strength. It provides a coolant effect in case of any food that is eaten. Hence, a person tends to become obese over a period of time.
9. Include locally available seasonal fruits and vegetables in your diet:
Food sourced from outside the country takes a long time to arrive on our shores, which means that the fruits and vegetables are not exactly fresh when you purchase them. Also, there is no guarantee that the fruits and vegetables are grown naturally. How hygienically the fruits and vegetables are handled before they are packed is also a factor.
According to Ayurveda, eating seasonal fruits and vegetables has a more positive effect on our body than eating those that aren’t. One should eat any food only when hungry. So, whenever one is hungry, one can eat fruits. Even replacing the entire meal with fruits is also good. But it is best done by replacing breakfast or lunch, rather than dinner.
10. Periodic cleansing of your gut:
Daily elimination of waste from the body is important for good digestion. Triphala is the only laxative that can be had for a long period of time without side effects or habit formation, this can also can be achieved by fasting once a week!
11. Sleep by 10 p.m.:
There are many factors to decide the time to go to bed. For most of us, it is better to fix the sleeping time to not later than 10 PM. As per Ayurveda, sleep is influenced by kapha dosha. Those with kapha body type sleep more. Those with pitta or vata body type, usually sleep a little less.
If you divide the night into three parts, the first part of the night, – about 6 pm – 10 pm is dominated by kapha. So, irrespective of your dosha body type, you will have some sort of kapha dominance during this period. Hence, if you sleep within this time, the chances of you getting good night’s sleep arevery high.

I was sure I have ovulated before CD16, but then a sudden drop of temperature below coverline told me that I did not. Yesterday, CD17, I have visited a gynecologist and had all the tests done + ultrasound. She has confirmed that I have indeed ovulated as there is corpus luteum in my left ovary. Saw it myself.
I woke up today hoping for a temp spike, in case yesterday’s temp was fallback rise. As you can see, it did not even go above the coverline… I am very confused since my ovulation has actually occurred and my breats are already sore (symptom I always get).
What is happening?

Alright. I’ve tried keto before. It was good at first but it went down hill and caused extreme binge eating.
I’m assuming this was due to

1. Too many sweeteners/keto ice cream/protein bars

2.not eating fiber
3.eating wayyy too much cheese/nuts/calorie dense foods
Other possible factors 4.electrolytes? 5.Water?
This time I have a plan. Obviously it’s not exact but here it goes
Morning: -Cup spinach
-100g mushrooms
Some kind of protein/fat to cook with the veggies such as :cheese,salmon patty,eggs
-1-2 tablespoon chia seeds with cup of cashew milk with 1-3 tsp sugar free sweetener
Lunch: nothing crazy. Just turkey pepperoni or something to snack on. Maybe 2 if I get hungry. Has lots of sodium
Dinner: I meal prepped a side of veggies and ground beef. If I am still hungry, I will have another one or another pack of pepperoni. But I will not have an extra one of these if I had that other pack of pepperoni from earlier
After dinner I will have another chia seed drink
This gives me 1200-1800 calories depending. Net carbs for sure under 50 but I’m keeping them under 25 just to be safe.
I will have 1-2 energy drinks as needed, but hopefully will change to coffee
My sodium is enough. Potassium is low so I will supplement potassium and magnesium.
Will try to drink lots of water
The differences I see from doing it this way than previously is:
the only sweeteners I am having are the energy drinks and a few teaspoons for my chia drink. No keto ice cream or keto chocolate or binge eating quest bars. Maybe gum here and there
I am eating more meat than cheese/nuts and other calorie dense foods. I am kind of over this “stuff yourself with fat” bullshit because very fat dense foods do not make me full. Pepperoni will. Pepperoni has fat but it has more protein than fat. I can’t eat cheese and nuts all day.
I am eating more fiber. Thanks to chia seeds. I am hoping this helps
I forgot how I was doing on water and electrolytes last time I did keto but I don’t think it will be an issue since sodium Is good and I just have to supplement the other two.
Yes I am eating processed foods but I’m a busy person and i like quick and filling snacks.
What I remember from when I failed was that I was BINGE EATING cheese and also having Turkey with it. Most of the fiber I got were from protein bars I think. And I would eat keto ice cream and protein bars everyday. At first I did well but idk why eventually I broke.I was always bloated and felt disgusting (also because of sugar alcohols) and was having like 30 pieces of gum. I really hated my life
I just want tips. I am trying to maintain this as much as I can. I am on an adhd medication to help my appetite but I’m hoping I won’t need it as much. I want to do keto because I wanna maintain my weight more easily, I want more energy, be less bloated, more mental clarity and more productive and I’m addicted to sugar. When do cravings go away? When do I get energy and mental clarity ? Any advice and answers is appreciated.

Dunno if this is allowed, but dang, my experience on Monday night was so damn bizarre I just had to post it here. You read about these things happening to other people on the internet, but never did I think I'd be in a similar situation.
So, after my bf and I had an awesome time at the Palm Springs Air Museum, we lounged around our pool then went to the Agua Caliente Casino to watch the game at their sports bar. After the game, we decided to treat ourselves and go to the Steakhouse - the upscale restaurant in the casino.
It was quiet, relaxed, a nice chill vibe. We had ordered and were enjoying our food. We hear a bit of noise behind us and turn to see the hostest leading a couple to the table near us. Between the couple was a fairly large, rambunctious dog. I dunno what kind of dog it was, but it was definitely some type of hearding breed. The guy could barely hold on to this dog - it was basically dragging him through the restaurant. The dog had a vest on, but it was clearly NOT a service animal in any shape or form.
The couple was seated and we continued with our meal. Suddenly we heard a loud ruckus and saw the dog just running absolutely wild through the restaurant. The couple had removed the dog’s leash and vest - the guy was running frantically after the dog, yelling at his partner ‘Get me the thing! Get me the damn thing!”
What damn thing? We couldn’t see what the woman was doing because we were in a booth that obstructed our view, but whatever she was doing wasn’t helping. The dog was still running amok, it sniffed an elderly woman’s legs and she grabbed her chest and started yelling - she was clearly terrified. A few parties who were just seated got up and left - including a group of 8.
The dog did a huge lap around the restaurant and ended up at our booth, where he sniffed at my boyfriends steak, then jumped onto his lap! I heard people gasp around us, but my bf kept his cool, grabbing the dogs collar and playfully rubbing its cheeks, laughing. “You’re a cute little trouble make aren’t you?” He kept saying while trying to hold on to the dog and keep him from the food.
The owner FINALLY came over and dragged the dog away, throwing a faint ‘Thank you’ and what sounded like an apology. He took the dog back to the table and put back on the collar and vest.
The restaurant was in chaos. The elder couple was also making a scene, with the waitstaff trying to console the lady. People were glaring at the couple, who tried to act like nothing happened.
The manager came over and firmly told them they had to leave.
The couple flat out refused. The guy claimed he called ahead and spoke to someone who said the restaurant was pet friendly and that he could bring his dog there - which we all know is absolutely BS. No restaurant in their right mind would allow a pet dog into the dining area, let alone an upscale steak restaurant! The manager again firmly told him he had to leave.
“Are you calling me a liar? You guys are the ones committing fraud!” He said some other very offensive things that I can’t remember exactly.
We were all just dumbfounded at the audacity of this guy.
The manager left, then two security guards came in. They firmly but politely asked the couple what the situation was. The guy flat-out lied, saying that the dog just got excited and people were making a big deal of it.
“Well, the manager informed us the dog was running loose, jumping on people…”
“Thats just not what happened” The guy said.
A few of us gasped. I made eye contact with one of the guards, furiously shaking my head, mouthing “He’s a liar!”
The guy again brought up that he had called ahead and had spoken to someone saying that the venue was pet friendly and that the dog was allowed.
“That’s only partially true” one of the guards said. “Only service animals are allowed in the restaurant.”
“He is a service animal” the guy said, pointing at the dog’s vest.
“Oh really?” Said the guard “What service was he trained to provide?”
“He’s my emotional support animal.”
People around us groaned. I took a closer look at the dog’s vest. It wasn’t even one of those fake Service Animal vests that people usually get off the internet. It was green, not red, and instead of Service Animal, it said I’M SPECIAL in big green letters.
“Emotional support animals are not service animals” Said the guard “We’re going to have to ask you to lea….”
“I CALLED AHEAD AND SOMEONE WHO WORKS HERE SAID IT WAS OK.” The guy practically yelled. I can’t remember exactly what he said after that, but he was basically rambling that the restaurant staff were liars, that he was going to sue, and that since they were seated that the restaurant had an obligation to serve them.
The guards again told them they had to leave. The couple refused to budge. The guards left.
Af this point everyone else in the restaurant were just angry, staring the couple down, gossiping loudly at how rotten they were. Those people had absolutely no shame, picking at their food pretending all was dandy.
Finally, someone else came over - either the head of security or someone from Legal (I partially overheard some of the waitstaff say they were getting legal involved)
The guy again calmly told the couple they had to leave, stating the reasons they had no legal grounds to stay and that the restaurant had every right to kick them out.
They again absolutely refused to leave, yelling again that they were told they could bring the dog in, that they had every right to stay, that the restaurant was wanting a lawsuit from them.
People were already getting fed up and were throwing snide comments at the couple.
“You guys are terrible.”
“You ruined our dinner.”
“Just leave already.”
We then heard a phone ringing on speaker. The head of security was speaking into it. I barely could hear what he was saying, but I clearly heard the words “trespassing” and “please send a patrol unit.”
I turned to my bf “Oooooh! Looks like we’re gonna see them taken away in handcuffs!”
The guy got the message and abruptly stood up, grabbing the dog’s leash.
“Fine, we’re leaving this Godawful, sh*****ty place.”
The woman however, refused to move. The guy was practically yelling at her. “Let’s go! We need to leave NOW”
I could barely hear her, but she just flat out refused to budge. Finally, the guy grabbed the dog and left her there in the booth.
We couldn’t control our laughter, snorting into our napkins. The manager and three more security guards came over to the table, telling the woman that she is about to be arrested for trespassing.
After a minute or so, the guy came back, dragging the dog back with him. He just screamed “LET’S GO NOW! WE’RE SUING THE S****T OUT OF THIS GODAWFUL PLACE. I’M SERIOUS! LET’S GO NOW.”
The woman finally got up, angrily swinging her Dior tote bag onto her arm. As they exited the venue, we all clapped and cheered. It was a relief to see them gone, but dang I was hoping to see them get arrested.
The manager came over to check up on my bf “Are you ok? Did the dog bite or lick you? It didn’t get to your food did it?”
We were both fine, and we had already almost finished our meal, but we were ready to leave as the mood and the remainder of our appetites were ruined. The manager was nice and gave us complimentary desserts and took a portion of our bill off for the inconvenience.
A few other guests came up to check on my bf since they all saw the dog jump on him. We tried to make light of the whole thing.
“Hey, we weren’t expecting dinner and a show, but we got it!” Said my bf. I commented that dogs, especially big ones, just loved him, and that’s probably why the dog jumped on his lap. “Nah, I think it was the steak!” he said, laughing.
I will say that the restaurant staff handled the chaos as best as they could. Everyone was kind, understanding and kept the mood light and upbeat, even with the extremely disruptive and negative couple there. We’d totally eat there again just for the service. The food was ok- not spectacular, but I suspect that whole incident literally left a bad taste in our mouths, so we can’t really judge the food accurately. We’re hoping next time we visit would be a better experience!
On the drive back, we just couldn’t believe that that actually just happened. “Did they do it on purpose so they could sue the casino?” I wondered “Theres no way people are just that damn stupid?!”
“The restaurant shouldn’t have let the dog in anyways” said my bf “But I get it, they don’t want to be sued for violating the ADA.”
“But still, isnt it better to ruin two people’s nights than the entire evening of everyone at the restaurant?” I said.
“Hey, the dog’s night was ruined too!” Said my bf “He didn’t get any steak!”

I've been noticing that I've lost a good amount of weight for the last 2 years and every time I take omeprazole I feel like I can only eat two meals or less than one. Like I feel like it's suppresses my appetite? I also had two ulcers diagnosed in 2021

*disclaimer
Please give me credit when you post the audio and leave the link to your channel in the coments thank you =)
Neutral gender is ok but no gender swap please.
Feel free to monetize!
If you want to patreon feel free just please message me the audio don't wanna miss your take on it 😉
Constructive criticism is welcome in the comments =)
You can follow the acting recommendations or give the script your own taste. Have fun!
[Noises] (Acting recommendations or pov’s so you know where in the story you’re at) {How to pronounce}
POV of VA: In the middle of a zombie apocalypse, you're traveling with a lady you met a couple of weeks ago at a camp, you both were told there is a town that could be safe from zombies, a new start.
Characters personality: Big hearted but afraid to get hurt emotionally and bit tsundere, I mean, the apocalypse separated you from your loved ones, and probably killed them.
Begins script:
[Forest sounds]
I had never been to this part of the forest
The trees are so beautiful here
(Happy) I know right?, You can smell some green in here. (Deep breath you take in the smell) it's a breather from the stench of rotten flesh.
(Wondering) you know, it is curious, we haven't seen a zombie since we left the road.
If that town is a good as they say, we should be safe there.
It's a 2 day trip but should be worth it.
(Happy) Glad we have enough ammo for the trip, who knows what we may find on the way.
[Calm river sounds]
Look!!! A river!!!
There's a nice log there, we could rest for a moment and have something to eat, how about that?
Careful though there's a small cliff over there.
(Longing) Too bad there's barely any fish in the world, a trout would be perfect right now, (sigh aaaah) I miss fishing.
This stale protein bars we found should do for now.
Bonne appetite! {Bon apeti}
(She makes a iuk gesture when she tastes the bar)
(Giggle)
(She asks what are you laughing about)
(Laughing) Your face!!!. ..The bars are not that bad common!!!
Dig deeper and you can find the "explosive cherry" as advertised
(iuk) eww stale peanut
Ok ok, gotta admit they're pretty bad (giggle)
(Curious) What's that over there?
It's a bear! Look!
(Worried) Wait, the bear is hurt, we should help hi-shit!, Zombie!!! It's coming our way!!
[Zombie sound]
[Gun sounds 1-2 shots]
(Releaved sad) Nice aim!
(Sad) Poor bear, that zombie annihialated him.
Hey are you ok?
Oh, yeah me too, feel so bad for the bear.... Least there was no cub arround.
(Sad serious) We should get going
[Walking sounds]
(Curious) Are those...????
(Yelling from a distance) I'll catch you up, give me a second
(Curious talking to yourself) No! Can't be...are these, berries?
[Zombie sounds]
What the!
[Gun shot]
(Hyperventilating) thanks for that.... I'm ok don't worry was just a....
[Zombie sound]
(Yelling worried) behind you!!! Dock!!!
[Gun shot]
[Raise tone] On your left! There's another one!
[Gun shot]
Shit there's too many!!!
[Gun shots]
[Hyperventilating raising tone] Were do they even come from?!?!
Behind that tree!
[Gun shots]
I'm cornered!
(A zombie grabs you from your back)
(Yell mad) Aaaa, get off my back zombie!!
(She jumps on it to take it away from you)
(Worried yell) What are you doing?!?!
Look out! The cliff!
[Falling sounds]
(Extra worried) No no no!!!!
[Zombie sounds]
[Shots]
(Mad) Die bastards!!!!
(You killed them all)
(Super worried) Please be ok!!
[You run to see her]
(She's unconscious)
(Worried Hyperventilating) No no no! Wake up please!! Open your eyes, common common!!!
Damn it!!!
There's a pulse, she's breathing...
Wake up please!!!
(She opens her eyes slowly)
(Worried releaved Hyperventilating) Hey! There you are!
You fell of the cliff...
No no no! Don't try to stand up. Stay there please!
(Sigh) (mad) are you crazy!!!! You could've died!!!!
(Worried mad nice) Sorry, you saved me by jumping on that zombie and getting it of my back and I'm greatful but, I could've lost you damn it!!!
You're bleeding! Your arm!
(Concerned serious) were you bit?...look at me! Were you bit?!?!
(Sigh) thank god!
[Ripping clothes]
Gonna wrap this cloth around your arm.
(Worried) Damn it! It's getting dark..ummm.....we need cover ......there's a cave over there, we can spend the night there!
All the zombies are dead yes.
Can you stand?
Alright, just put your arm around my neck..
Easy, on the count of 3 ok?
1...2....up we go!
Whoa whoa whoa easy I got you!
You ok?
Alright. Slowly...
We're almost there.
Here.
Let's sit you down slowly!
Easy!!!
(Concerned) Hey, look at me!..No don't close your eyes!
Are you feeling dizzy?
(Rethoric) A bit?
I'm worried you may have a concussion.
Are you seeing blurry at all?
[Rethoric] No?, But your head hurts?
You're not bleeding which is a good sign. Just let me know if anything changes.
(Bit funny) guess taking a semester in med school pays out when there's an apocalypse.
(Concerned) Does it hurt anywhere else?
(Rethoric) Hurts when you breath?
(Worried) Damn it!.... I'm gonna need to check your ribs...
I'm gonna have to lift up your shirt a bit ok?
(Funny ish but worried) don't worry I'm not gonna try anything ungentlemanly (mini giggle)
(Exhale in shock) you're really bruised!
Does it hurt when I press....
(she complains badly in pain)
Sorry, I won't do that again.
(Super concerned) Do you have trouble breathing at all...or is it just the pain?
(Rethoric) Just the pain...ok..
I doubt you have a punctured lung then.
I'm gonna press around your abdomen a bit , just wanna make sure there's no internal bleeding.
Any pain here?.....what about here?....and here?.
You seen to be fine.
(Worried serious) I'm gonna go get some fresh water from the river. I need to clean that wound..
I know it's dark now, but we have no water, our bottles are empty and I don't want it to get infected.
Hey! I'll be ok I promise. Just stay here, I won't be long.
[Walking sounds]
[Calm river sounds]
(Sigh) (mad) she was so reckless, I mean, she saved my life but....damn it!!! Why do I have to care so much for her?!!! I mean, we only just met a couple of weeks ago at that camp!
She's an amazing shooter, which makes her helpful to have around but, why am I so worried....ughh!
[Walking sounds]
(Calm) Hey, I'm back.
I filled a couple of bottles so we can drink some aswell.
At least the rivers are still drinkable. Can't believe the sewers got contaminated, stupid zombies.
(Serious) ok let's see...
This is probably gonna hurt but I need you to stay still please!
Here we go.
(She complains badly in pain)
Just breath!
Do you want me to hold for a moment?
No?
(Rehtoric) you don't know what hurts more between the wound and your ribs every time you flinch?
(comforting) Oh, I'm sorry, never thought of that.
I'm almost done I promise.
(Serious) Deep breath! Gonna clean one last time.
Just hang in there.....aaand...done!
(Comforting) Breath!....just breath!!
It would need stitches, but we don't have the supplies, so I'm gonna have to keep cleaning constantly to prevent any infections.
Luckily I have a bandage in my backpack. I'm gonna wrap it around your arm.
There we go.
I'm gonna make a fire.
There's some twigs here, it should work for now.
[Fire sounds]
Nice and cozy.
(Cute) I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, I promise. Just rest for now, but no sleeping ok?
I'm sorry, but we don't know if you have a concussion, I don't wanna take any chances.
Depending on how you're feeling we can try and leave tomoroow morning.
Just rest for now.
(Sigh)

So I took my first dose on Sunday (so 3 days ago). My doctor wants me to start very slowly so I only took 0.125mg.
I’ve felt a little nauseous on and off, and I’ve had stomach pain on and off. I feel under the weather but not insanely sick. But here’s what I’m confused about:
I can’t tell if my appetite is suppressed or not (I wouldn’t think it would be on such a small dose), because I’m definitely finding I can’t eat as much during a meal as I normally do. But I usually also don’t snack a whole lot or if I do it’s more out of boredom than hunger. But the past couple days, I’ll get extremely hungry. Then I’ll have a small snack, and then a couple hours later get very hungry again (again, this is not normal for me at all). And yet, at lunch and dinner, I am definitely not able to eat as much as I normally do.
I’m confused about why I’m getting so much hungrier than usual but also why I’m already feeling so much fuller? I feel like those two things together don’t make sense? And I feel like they also don’t make sense to be happening when I’ve only taken 0.125mg?
To be fair, Monday I snacked a lot, and Tuesday a bit less. Today I definitely alternated between very hungry and feeling repulsed by food, but I was also very fatigued and slept most of the day and didn’t let myself snack.

I know you’ll never see this letter, and I suppose I should be grateful for that, but I still feel so stupid for writing it. Stupid because there’s no reason my feelings should be this strong and my heart should hurt this badly. We were only talking for a few short weeks but, man, I fell HARD and I fell FAST. But now it’s all over and I’m left here to pick up the pieces. I’m sure you’re happy with her, and that’s great. I want you to be happy. But I want to be happy too. So, in an attempt to help heal my broken heart, I just wanted to write down (almost) all the things I’ll never get to say:
-When you first messaged me after we matched for the 4th time in as many years, you said “the universe just wants us to be together.” I responded by saying “and who are we to tell the universe it’s wrong?” Well, we called the universe’s bluff and now I feel like I’m the one paying the price for it. You get to move on and fall in love and I get to sit at home, too afraid to go out anywhere in case I run into you. If I need to drive through your neighborhood to get somewhere, I’ll take a longer route just to avoid the possibility of seeing you.
-I still walk the dog on that nature trail and by the park where we had our first date. I feel safe there because you didn’t know it existed before I told you about it, and there’s a very slim chance you’ll ever go back. It’s the dog’s favorite route to walk along though, so I still take him every day after work. But it breaks my heart to be there because all I can think of is you, and our conversation, and the way my head rested perfectly on your chest when we hugged because you’re so tall, and the way your lips felt pressed against mine.
-the dog is on a diet and I hate that every time I feed him, the sound of kibble and chicken falling into his bowl is replaced with your laughter as you said “aww no look at him, he ain’t missing no meals!” He was wary of you, but oddly enough I think he misses you. When we pass by someone on our walks that looks even remotely like you, his tail will wag uncontrollably and he tries to jump on them. He still growls a bit, but he just seems sad when he realizes it’s not you. I do too.
-I hate doing laundry now because doing laundry means I need to open the closet door where the washer and dryer are. The same door you picked me up and pressed me up against, my legs wrapped around your waist, when you did everything you could to turn me into putty in your hands. I want to pull those doors off the hinges so I don’t have to look at them every day.
-You ruined chocolate chip cookies for me. They were my favorite midnight snack and now all I think about is baking late-night, post-sex cookies with you. I’ve been fortunate to live my entire life without any allergies, but now it feels like just one cookie will kill me. Even when I pass by the pre-made dough in the grocery store, I can feel my heart constrict and my throat close up.
-You ruined Star Wars for me. I thought it was so cute how you, a chemistry nerd, never saw the penultimate nerd series. I was excited for our plans to have a movie marathon. I was excited to show you to the galaxy. Now I stop the microwave before the timer hits 0:00 because it sounds like R2-D2 and it makes me lose my appetite.
-I bought new lingerie I was hoping to surprise you with. It arrived in the mail after we stopped talking. I can’t even force myself to try them on to make sure the sizes are correct. They’re just sitting in a drawer with the tags still on, collecting dust. I used to feel sexy and confident in my underwear. Now I feel like a sheepish little girl, too afraid to undress in the locker room before PE class.
-I told you I didn’t want kids, and that only one man in my entire life truly made me consider starting a family, but that he hurt me so badly I was completely sworn off. That was a lie. Maybe not at first, but it became a lie. When I found out you had a kid, after the shock and hurt subsided, after you spoke of how much you love your child, there was a second man I could see holding my child in his arms. You. A gorgeous little creature who would be the best parts of you and me put together. Now I fear that if I ever have children, I’ll resent them because they won’t be half of you.
-I hate that every time I see a car like yours, my heart skips a beat. I almost got into an accident the other day because I thought I passed you on my way into town. I’m afraid to drive now because all I do is look out for your car, wondering if you’re looking out for mine.
-I hate how deeply I care about you, and how I wish you nothing but the purest love and happiness. I hate that I can’t hate you. It would all be so much easier if I hated you. I wouldn’t be hurting so much. I could chalk this all up to the fact that you’re an asshole. A player. You used me and threw me away. But that’s not you. You’re kind and caring and gentle and, if I had only given us a proper chance, I could have known what it would feel like to be truly loved by you.
-I hate that I swallowed my pride and apologized, when I honestly didn’t have much to apologize for, only to be met with silence. My pride was all I had left, and now that’s gone too. And I especially I hate how pathetic and desperate this all sounds. After my last serious heartbreak, I put so much time and effort into myself, and I reminded myself that I am amazing and anyone is lucky to have me. Now I’m back to apologizing for using up oxygen.
-I hate that I believed you when you said you still wanted me, desired me, even though I could feel the distance between us growing larger. And I hate that now you’re so cold, so indifferent. I hate that you act like it was all just in my head. Even if it was, I wish you would just say that instead of leaving me with radio silence. It would be easier to understand that maybe I really am just obsessive or crazy, than to be left wondering how it all went wrong. But I know there’s nothing to wonder about. You said that if you didn’t want to talk to me, you wouldn’t. It appears you are a man of your word. I just wish I took you at your word when I still had the chance.
-You said I don’t know you or understand you, and I hate that you’re right. I hate that you don’t know or understand me either. We never gave each other the chance to. And I hate that we’ll probably never get that chance again.
-I want you to be happy, and I hope she does make you happy. But, like I said, I want to be happy too. I want to be with you. I want to hear your laugh again, see your perfect smile again, hear your heart beat as I lay on your chest again. I want to feel you in me again, holding me tightly. I want to sit on the swing with you, my legs across your lap as I listen to you tell me all your wildest stories. I want to feel your lips press against my forehead as you slip out of bed. I just want to feel like you care again. Even if it was all in my head.
I know we may never speak again, but I want you to know that I will always want you. And I hate that. But I don’t hate you. Not even a little bit.
Yours, always.
Baddie