The thing I dislike the most about the update is that accolades being gone removes a big part of the excitement and reward for winning a match.
Blood Bonds (and the things you can buy with them) are the only thing that's there to stay. Earning a couple BBs from an extraction adds a lot to the experience, because you know you won't lose them by dying in mission or prestigeing. They give a sense of permanence to your success that won't just get wiped by a couple of "Hunt taketh" kinda matches. Not to mention that slowly racking up BBs for that skin you wanted is an engaging and satisfying overarching progression system.
No, that does not mean I only play to get skins. It means having a meaningful reward for winning added a lot of spice to the experience, which is now made much blander because Hunt Dollars aren't really a reward when you can get them from a billion different sources now. Also, if there's anything that is worth rewarding in a PvP game, it's killing other players and extracting imo, not running around killing AI with fire ammo.
Weeklies reward you as well, but they do so by making you go out of your way to do it. They are essentially busywork, whereas accolades are very naturally implemented into the core gameplay, and reward success and good performance. Not to mention that Questlines and now also Battle passes work on the same system, which not only makes challenges super redundant, but further disconnects the rewards from the core gameplay loop.
I get that the whole point of this was reducing BBs earnable for free, but I think accolades sould be the last thing to go on the chopping block. There are ways to nerf them without completely detracting from the satisfaction of the reward. Like, award them only for bounty extractions, for amount of kills, idk, something that ties into the PvP nature of Hunt and encourages players to play the objectives.
Just my two BBs on the matter.
TL;DR: Accolades are a great reward for winning, and it makes no sense they get the axe first before less satisfying systems like weeklies, dark tribute etc.

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Curse of Confusion - 45s cooldown - Inverts the targets movement controls for 6s.
Amplify Curse - Inverts the target and 4 additional nearby targets movement controls for 3s.
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Idk, I just thought it'd be funny and that it'd fit warlocks thematically.

I'm playing a Drow Aberrant Mind Sorcerer who is very flavored into mind manipulation and I want to keep my spell choices on theme. Looking for ideas on what 5th and 6th level spells people would suggest.
Metamagic - Twin and Heighten
Spell List
1st: Dissonant Whispers, Faerie Fire (Drow), Gift of Alacrity (Fey Touched), Hideous Laughter, Mage Armor
2nd: Darkness (Drow), Detect Thoughts, Invisibility, Misty Step, Suggestion, Tashas Mind Whip
3rd: Blink, Fly, Hunger of Hadar, Lightning Bolt, Sending, Slow
4th: Evard's Black Tentacles, Greater Invisibility, Raulothim's Psychic Lance, Summon Aberration
For 5th level spells - I don't think I'm going to keep either Telekinesis or Rary's Telepathic Bond. I'm looking at replacing them with Modify Memory, Scrying, or Synaptic Static (want all three of these spells). 6th level spells are leaving me underwhelmed at the moment. Would love suggestions.
The other thing is - we've hit the point of the game where I need Counterspell (and our Wizard just died). Any suggestions on what to drop to pick it up?

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full [R-word censored by jobs] to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I’m currently running a home brew campaign for a group of 5 friends. The world it is set in is mostly your typical D&D world except some mages use an ancient art of magic that borrows power from powerful elemental spirits and necromancy is not outlawed or taboo as long as you have written consent to use the persons body from them or their estate. The campaign is centered around a storm giant trying to free an evil fire spirit to use its power to take over the world.
The party is currently level 5 soon to be 6 and I’m trying to come up with some interesting non combat quest/challenges to mix it up some. If it helps any the party consist of a Druid, a Barbarian, two wizards(one necromancer one illusionist), and a Paladin.
Any ideas or suggestions are welcome. Thanks.

Kendall Roy stood at the edge of his penthouse balcony, staring out at the city skyline. The weight of defeat hung heavily on his shoulders. He had lost control of Waystar, the media empire his father had built, to his ruthless siblings. But Kendall was not one to go down without a fight. He knew he had to find another way to bring justice to the corrupt forces that had consumed his family's legacy.
Driven by a burning desire for revenge, Kendall hatched a daring plan. He would start an online publication called "The Hundred," where the best journalists from around the world would band together to expose and dismantle the corruption that plagued society. It was his chance to strike back at the very heart of the corporate world that had betrayed him.
Kendall scoured the industry for the most talented and relentless investigative journalists he could find. One by one, they joined his cause, each carrying their own personal grudges against the powerful and the untouchable. They were united by a common goal: to bring truth to light, no matter the cost.
As the team at The Hundred delved into their investigations, they stumbled upon a shocking revelation. The new owner of Waystar, a man named Matsson, had been secretly manipulating the stock market to his advantage. With the evidence in hand, Kendall and his team set out to expose Matsson's illicit activities.
The Hundred's exposé sent shockwaves through the financial world. Investors lost faith in Waystar, causing the stock to plummet drastically. Matsson's carefully crafted empire began to crumble, and Kendall reveled in the sweet taste of victory. But he knew his revenge wasn't complete.
Just as things seemed to be falling into place, Kendall received a call from his cousin Greg. Greg had stumbled upon damning information about Tom, the CEO of Waystar Gojo and Kendall's former brother-in-law. It turned out that Tom had been involved in a series of abusive practices, exploiting his power and mistreating his employees.
Greg, torn between loyalty and a desire for justice, decided to come forward with the evidence. The revelation sent shockwaves not just through Waystar, but through the entire industry. The public turned against Waystar Gojo, boycotting their products and demanding accountability.
The company crumbled under the weight of the scandal, and Kendall watched as the empire he once coveted turned to dust. He had won, but at a tremendous cost. The collateral damage was immense – careers destroyed, lives upended, and his own family left fractured and broken.
As Kendall stood amidst the ruins of Waystar, he couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness. His revenge had come at a great price, and he wondered if it had all been worth it. The lines between right and wrong, justice and vengeance, had blurred beyond recognition.
In the end, Kendall Roy emerged victorious, but the cost of his revenge would forever haunt him. The Hundred had achieved its goal of exposing corruption, but Kendall couldn't shake the bitter taste of regret. He had fought fire with fire, and in doing so, he had burned everything to the ground, including himself.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

All items are NON rocket pass. I also have mage glass set if interested.
WHEELS:
Decopunk set- 1300
bs draco- 150 (on hold)
black, sb apparatus- 30 each
Saff glaive invert- 300
black striker photon (egg)- offer
Tw picket holo- 600
Saff picket holo- 200
Fg Picket holo- 300
Bs picket holo- 100
Bs reevrb- 80
pink stella invert- 450
Saff, fg zefram infinite- 400 each
cob tactican wonderment (egg)- 700
Fg wonderment- 350
Lime turbine- 80
Lime tremor- 230
Lime kalos- 100 (on hold)
Fg zowie infinite- 850
Lime zowie infinite- 750
BOOSTS:
Blk, bs, Crim, lime, pink, sb flamethrower- 750
Tw, blk, cob, lime, orange fractal fire- 450
Lime goalkeeper geo soul- 1300
Tw geo soul- 1300
Bs, grey, lime, orange, pink, saff, sb ion- offer
saff, fg, default pixel fire- 250
Lime, fg neo thermal- 150
Crim, fg, lime, default ninja star- 300
Cob, crim, grey, saff, sb plasma- offer
Fg, lime, grey, orange, saff power shot- 500
Cob, saff, default proton- 200
Blk, orange, cob, crim, Tw sacred- offer
Blk, cob, default sun ray- offer
Crim, orange, saff, fg, lime, sb, purp, pink, Tw synthwave- 750
Saff, cob, orange, pink, lime, fg toon sketch- 550
Default, crim, blk, saff torrent- offer
Crim, orange, saff, fg, lime, pink, blk, purp, Tw, default tsunami beam- offer
Crim, orange, bs, saff, fg, cob, sb, pink, purp, blk, default, Tw virtual wave- 950
OTHER:
Striker orange mage glass- 700
Tw centio- 150
Tw sentinel- 200
Tw road hog- 150
Tw x devil- 150
Storm watch- 150
Bs mainframe- 550
Black sniper arcana(egg)- offer

Rupt, short for "disruption", is a champion whose sole focus is to disrupt battles. Whether it be splitting up unjust fights or turning fights in her favor, she specializes in making enemies not realize what's happening.
Primary Fire-Disruption Cannon: Every 3 seconds shoot a short-range arcing plasma shot that explodes in a short-moderate radius knocking enemies back a small amount, 6 ammo and 2.5-second reload speed. 450 damage.
Secondary Fire-Flip Shot: Shoot a 450 damage fast-traveling projectile that appears as 2 spiraling orbs, and on contact turn an enemy 180 degrees around. 10-second cooldown.
Ability One-Warp Wormhole: Hold up a wormhole directly in front of you for 1.2 seconds that takes in ANY projectile that deals less than 1,000 damage and puts it back out behind you, reversing its side. Even if it heals, when it goes through it will heal you and allies. 20-second CD.
Ability Two-Smash Flip: Do a short front flip, and upon hitting the ground knock enemies in a short range back a moderate amount. 15-second CD.
Ultimate-Disrupture Ultimatum: Pick up nearby enemies, stunning and blinding them for 1.5 seconds. During this time they can't be harmed aside from effects that are already applied to them. After 1.5 seconds they swap places with one another randomly. 2 enemies in range are required to activate this ability. You and allies see a character marker where they are to indicate who is swapping. For instance, if an Azaan was being swapped with an Atlas, you would see an Atlas icon, similar to the death icon, on Azaan. Once swapped, they are silenced for 0.5 seconds.
Talent One: Primary fire shots silence enemies for 0.4 seconds.
Talent Two: Flip shot can be re-activated for 5 seconds after firing to flip the enemy you hit back again, so if they turn around you can flip them again.
Talent Three: Smash flip now instead of pushing pulls enemies through you, across the range. so if they are 30 units away from you, they get pulled 60 units to the opposite side of you.
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Hero model made in Heroforge.com

So this is what I've come up with Background there once was a mage who developed great affinity to fire magic and created imbued items with power each adding to the whole
The collection became known as Ignis finery
Or the finery of Ignis the fiery
He ascended into a demigod for the plane of elemental fire Under the litterly god of fire
His armor and magical items have been scattered This is what they are is this too much
Finery of Ignis the fiery A legendary pyromancer who is said to have created the arts of black fire and the hand of flame to wield it
Rumoured to have transcended flesh and become one with the primal flame of the elemental plane of fire
The finery he crafted stands as some of the greatest examples of the pyromancer's art.
10items were created to creat the finery
Each powerful in its own way but adding more to the whole then the sum of its parts

1. The flame plate ring. : This flame colored citrine stone provides a passive boost to fire resistance . Enabling the pyromancer to work stronger flames -2damage taken from fire damage
   
2. The fire clutch ring this small gem of a fire orange diamond catches light and seems to amplify it +2 to all fire damage
   
3. Cloak of living fire this red and orange cloth cloak is actually one of the few examples of the ancient art of fire weaving rendering actual fire into fabric . This give resistance to fire and a once per day ability to move between two fires within sight range
   
4. lesser sword the sword of many bites This large stone like sword breaks into embers flying and striking the foe make d6 attacks doing d6+4cfire
   
5. ember walker boots these black iron boots grant resistance to fire and enable walking across any flaming floor without damage
   
6. Ashen grimiore of Ignis the unburned. book of spells created by Ignis each has a number of times per day it can be cast and a number of slots it takes up the attunement slots is equal to half the level of the wielder plus 1
   
   1. Altara the fire cat this strange creature began to follow Ignis as his soul grew closer to the primal fire . A flesh and blood creature from the plane of elemental fire . Among it's capabilities it has a teleport ability once per day to anywhere its and it's bonded has been. Telepathy between anyone it wants It can store one spell from the grimiore with an attunment of less then 3 and use it as directed. It can sense direct lies. And fight in melee with 2 claw attacks with a reach of 5 feet +9to hit d6+2 damage
7. The greater sword of Ignis this massive hunk of blackened steel doesn't look like much make one attack with it per combat +14 to hit if target is hit 🎯 takes 4d10+10 damage and is imidiatly hit by the sword casting black flame dexsave of 18 for half Then it summons a flame elemental who will wield the blade at +7 3d6 fire damage for d3rnds
   
8. Crown of flames . This nimbus of fire will appear spontaneously once the wielder has achieved sufficient mastery of flame Once aquired no fire on the material plane can harm them.
   
9. The molten armor of Ignis. This armor is the armor Ignis wore when he ascended as the demigod of fire This is a suit of +2 plate armor (+8 AC) it has. The molten armor has a inbuilt ability as it takes fire damage from enemies not own/allies or natural sources it builds up heat. Per damage absorbed. Once it hits +5-+10 and so on it gains additional abilities At +5 it gets flowing metal +4cto initiative +10 it gets heat of the forge. All beings within 10feet take 10firedamage per round +15 blessing of fire. Each allies attack does an extra 2d6 Every round the user doesn't take fire or lightning damage the heat drops by d3
   

If all 10 are aquired a portal to the plane of fire is opened and Ignis the ignited will invite the players to have an audience If the player can convince him he's worthy He is given the hand of fire and unlocks the ultimate ability
Once per day for one round player becomes the avatar of Ignis see char sheet
Most the stuff is once per day and limiting like that

Animated Film! Here are options for downloading or watching Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse streaming the full movie online for free on 123movies & Reddit, including where to watch Miles Morales's latest adventure movies at home. Is Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse 2023 available to stream? Is watching Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse on Netflix, HBO Max, Disney Plus, Peacock, or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service. Watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Online Free 720p, 1080p, And 4K.

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Miles Morales returns for the next chapter of the Oscar winning Spider-Verse saga, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. After reuniting with Gwen Stacy, Brooklyn’s full-time, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is catapulted across the Multiverse, where he encounters the Spider Society, a team of Spider-People charged with protecting the Multiverse’s very existence. But when the heroes clash on how to handle a new threat, Miles finds himself pitted against the other Spiders and must set out on his own to save those he loves most. Anyone can wear the mask – it’s how you wear it that makes you a hero.
After a grueling five-year-long wait, Marvel fans everywhere will finally be able to return to the animated multiverse with Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. The upcoming sequel's predecessor requires no explanation, as Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse not only ensnared audiences and critics alike but also caught a prestigious Oscar win with a Best Animated Feature award. With "New York's one and only Spider-Man," Miles Morales (Shameik Moore), now becoming a household name, fans of the first film eagerly awaited the day they could see young Miles swing into the Spider-Verse again.
Thankfully, the wait is almost finally over, as Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will return to screens soon. This time Miles will not only be reunited with Gwen Stacey (Hailee Steinfeld) and Peter B. Parker (Jake Johnson) but he'll also be introduced to an entire multiversal society of Spider-people created and led by a particularly pessimistic variant of Spider-Man 2099 (Oscar Isaac). Though some of the other variants in this secretive organization view Miles as a nuisance more than anything else, they'll have to learn to put those apprehensions aside if they hope to save the multiverse from an all-new terrifying threat. As the release date for the sequel to one of the most celebrated Spider-Man films ever made crawls closer and closer, here is precisely where and how you can watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse when it premieres this Summer.
If you’re like just about everyone else on the planet who saw Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse in 2018 and loved it, you’ve probably been waiting for the sequel. You won’t be waiting long, as Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is finally coming out in 2023, a full five years later. It’s been a long wait but by all indications the film is going to be a blast for fans of comic book movies, Miles Morales’ version of Spider-Man, and this new animated franchise featuring the iconic webslinger.
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is one of the most highly anticipated animated superhero films of 2023. Serving as a sequel to the critically acclaimed Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018), this upcoming installment promises to continue the exhilarating adventures of the Spider-Verse. Fans from all around the globe are eagerly awaiting its release. In this article, we will provide you with all the essential information on the film's release date and how to watch it online from any country, ensuring you don't miss out on this exciting cinematic experience.
This is especially true for many superhero films, which are often tied directly to specific streaming services. Disney+ and HBO Max - now rebranded as MAX - often house the new streaming releases for the MCU and DCU respectively, usually releasing anywhere between 1–3 months after theatrical release. However, with a film like Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, the situation is slightly different given Sony's lack of a dedicated streaming service, here's where to watch and stream Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse online.
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When Is the Release Date for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse?
When Is the Release Date for Spider-Man: Across thMiles, Gwen, Peter, and several dozen other Spider-people will be swinging into action when Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse premieres on Friday, June 2nd, 2023. This almost undoubtedly gives Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 and The Flash a run for their money as the biggest superhero movie event of the Summer. Spider-Verse?
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse had its world premiere at the Regency Village Theatre on May 30, 2023, and is scheduled for theatrical release in the United States on June 2, delayed from an initial October 2022 date because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
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Where To Watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Online:
As of now, the only way to watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is to head out to a movie theater when it premieres on June 2, 2023. You can find a local showing on Fandango.
Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Amazon, Vudu, YouTube or Apple, or become available to stream on Netflix.
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How to Watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
There's been no official announcement regarding Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse's streaming release date, though we know it will eventually be released on Netflix, rather than Disney+ or HBO Max.
In terms of which of the streaming giants Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will be released on, Netflix will house the film upon its streaming debut. While again, Sony does not have its own dedicated streaming service, a deal was struck in 2021 between the studio and Netflix. The deal, stating that Netflix would stream Sony's films after theatrical release, was penned for 5 years meaning Across the Spider-Verse is part of the arrangement.
While Sony's Spider-Man content is also streaming on Disney+, due to the collaborations between Sony and Marvel Studios in recent years, Across the Spider-Verse will be a Netflix release. While the deal struck between Marvel Studios and Sony may extend to this film, Disney+ is only allowed to begin streaming Sony's Spider-Man releases upon their release on Netflix. As a result, Netflix will be the first streaming service that Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will be available on after its theatrical release.
Because it’s airing on FX, you can of course fire up Into the Spider-Verse via FX Now. But in addition, the animated flick is streaming on both fubo (which offers a free trial and has cord-cutting plans starting at $74.99/month; sign up here) and DirecTV (which also offers a free trial and has cord-cutting plans starting at $64.99/month.
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Is Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse in Theaters?
Not only was Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse the subject of rave reviews, but it also pulled in some gargantuan levels of cash at the international box office, with a final tally that quadrupled the film's ninety-million dollar budget. With incredible success like that, it's only natural that Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse would also be taking advantage of a theatrical release. That is the case, as the upcoming film will be exclusively available in theaters when it premieres on June 2nd, 2023.
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When Will Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Be on Streaming?
The Spider-Man franchise is in a pretty interesting place regarding streaming. The various films of Sony's franchise have typically been scattered across multiple services. That said, following a historic deal between Sony and Disney, the many stories of Peter Parker and beyond are now available on Disney+. This includes the original Sam Raimi trilogy, the first Amazing Spider-Man film, and, starting mid-May, Spider-Man: Homecoming and Venom. Notably absent from the Disney-streaming platform so far are The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man: Far From Home, Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Morbius, and most significant of all, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.
Some of the films are not currently available on the service because Sony has pre-existing partnerships with Starz, as that's where most of the absent films are available to stream. That is except for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, which is instead only streaming on Fubo TV and FX Now.
If Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse comes to Disney+ before Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse's theatrical run concludes, that would make the House of Mouse's service a likely contender for a streaming release. However, Sony has also historically partnered with Netflix for streaming releases. Up until recently, that's where Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse was available to stream, and Sony still brings their other big releases to the service, like Bullet Train and The Woman King.
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When will Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse be streaming on Netflix?
Sony Animation’s big new Spider-Man movie is about to hit theaters and will be headed to Netflix (at least in the United States) later this year. For a prediction as to when and a bit more about the new movie, here’s what you need to know.
As we covered in 2021, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will be headed to Netflix as the service gets both Sony’s animation and live-action content via a first window deal struck in April 2021.
The deal stipulates that all Sony theatrical movies come to Netflix in the first window, which at a minimum, is 120 days after its theatrical release date. If it arrives exactly 120 days after, it’ll be streaming from September 30th, 2023.
With that said, given how big this movie is, we may see it release a few weeks after the fact. Either way, we expect the movie to be available between late September and November 2023.
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Will Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Be Streaming On Netflix?
Yes, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is coming to Netflix approximately in December 2023.
In 2021, Sony and Netflix signed a five-year deal that gave the latter exclusive first-pay-window U.S. streaming rights for Sony Pictures titles after their theatrical and home entertainment windows. Fans can expect to watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse on Netflix six months after the film’s theatrical release, thus in December 2023. The date seems reasonable considering that Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse dropped on Netflix on June 26, 2019, six months after its U.S. release on December 14, 2018. The pay-one window usually begins about nine months after a film’s theatrical release, but it might start earlier in particular cases.
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Will Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Be On HBO Max?
No, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will not be on HBO Max since it’s not a Universal Pictures movie. Last year, the company released its films in theaters and on the streamer on the same day. However, they now allow a 45-day window between the theatrical release and the streaming release.
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Will Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Be Streaming On Disney+?
Yes, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is also coming to Disney Plus approximately in 2025.
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Once the pay-one window runs its time and Netflix’s exclusive rights expire, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will be available on Disney Plus. The pay-one window might last as long as 18 months, which means it will be a while before Disney Plus subscribers can watch the much-anticipated sequel. Unlike in other countries, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse isn’t yet available on the Disney-owned streamer in the U.S.
American fans will have to wait until 2024 to watch Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and at least until 2025 for its sequel. We will update this post once there is an official Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Disney Plus release date.
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Is Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Available On Hulu?
Viewers are saying that they want to view the new Marvel's animation movie Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. It will be exclusive to the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
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How to Watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Online For Free?
Most Viewed, Most Favorite, Top Rating, Top IMDb movies online. Here we can download and watch 123movies movies offline. 123Movies website is the best alternative to Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) free online. We will recommend 123Movies is the best Solarmovie alternatives.
There are a few ways to watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse online in the U.S. You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. You can also watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.
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When Will Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Be on DVD and Blu-ray?
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will likely be coming to DVD and Blu-ray around the same time as the streaming release. With theatrical films, on average, coming to streaming sooner than ever (usually ninety days after theatrical release), we'll likely see Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse get a DVD, and Blu-ray release no later than Fall 2023.
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Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Cast and Characters
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse was written by Dave Callaham, Phil Lord and Chris Miller and directed by Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers and Justin K. Thompson. It stars the following actors:
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The following cast members are confirmed to provide their voice talents for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse.
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Shameik Moore as Miles Morales / Spider-Man
Hailee Steinfeld as Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman
Brian Tyree Henry as Jefferson Davis
Luna Lauren Vélez as Rio Morales
Jake Johnson as Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man
Jason Schwartzman as Jonathan Ohnn / the Spot
Issa Rae as Jessica Drew / Spider-Woman
Karan Soni as Pavitr Prabhakar / Spider-Man India
Daniel Kaluuya as Hobart “Hobie” Brown / Spider-Punk
Oscar Isaac as Miguel O’Hara / Spider-Man 2099
Greta Lee as Lyla
Rachel Dratch as the school counsellor
Jorma Taccone as Vulture
Shea Whigham as George Stacy
Andy Samberg as Ben Reilly / Scarlet Spider
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What is Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse About?
Returning with many of your favorite characters, including Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman, Peter B. ParkeSpider-Man, and of course Miles Morales as our primary Spider-Man, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is set one year after the events of the previous film. Miles (Shameik Moore) is coming into his own as Spider-Man when he is unexpectedly approached by Spider-Gwen (Hailee Steinfeld) with an extraordinary opportunity. Does Miles want to help a team of Spider-People, led by Spider-Man 2099 (Oscar Isaac) protect the multiverse from the terrifying threat of a man known as The Spot (Jason Schwartzman)?
Obviously, Miles is going to say yes, setting him up for an adventure that will expand this movie’s concept of the multiverse in every possible way. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse promises tons of new characters and worlds, without losing sight of what people have come to love about this particular Spider-franchise.
Miles Morales has become a massively popular Spider-Man, and you can be certain he’ll be at the center of Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse’s chaotic blend of action, comedy, comic book aesthetics, and large-scale science fiction. It seems more likely than not that Across the Spider-Verse will be the biggest animated release of 2023.

Hey, guys,! I'm new to PF2e (and I'm already loving it!), and I like dark/shadow/macabre stuff, so the Oracle of Bones immediately caught my attention. With a little bit more of reading, I descovered the shadowcaster, which is flavorful, can potentially add new spells to the oracle spell list (through Shadow Spells) and more spells in their repertoire (through Shadow Reservoir). Needless to say, I decided to try to make a build with these feats and features. So, here we go:
L1: Human tiefling, grave robber background, natural ambition for reach spell, death domain spell
L2: Shadowcaster dedication
L3: Toughness (to counter the drained condition from moderate curse)
L4: Shadow spells
L5: Fiendish resiliance (take resistance to acid, since you can have poison resistance through moderate curse, and slashing, piercing, cold, electric and fire from armor of bones)
L6: Advanced revelation
L7: Ancestral paragon - Fiendish lore, for more skills
L8: Debilitating dichotomy
L9: Multitalented Psychic dedication Distant grasp, for more powerful mage hand (basically telekinesis, but not too necessary). Other possibility: Fiendish wings
L10: Shadow reservoir
L11: Diehard, to counter the major curse's wounded condition
L12: Greater revelation
L13: Shadow pact (flavorful, but could be changed to Fiend's door, which is probably better)
L14: Secrets of shadow
L15: Take whatever
L16: Undying emptiness
L17: Fiendish word; or Relentless wings, if you took Fiendish wings
L18: Divine effusion
L19: Take whatever
L20: Mystery conduit, which is even better for you, since you can use your focus points in non-cursebound focus spells, which means you can use all your focus points without even advancing your curse, if you wish so, and use low level spells with no duration for free, at the "cost" of advancing your curse.
So, what you guys think of this character?

Just ahead of time for the maintenance. The steps are to be followed for the much comfort of the guardian.
You might experience weird symptoms of the light loss and the inability to fire guns but you can tune to deep stone lullaby to calm down your nerves.
For the ones who are calmer Eva Levante Cookies are available with a quick coffee or for even hungrier ones a quick ramen at the kiosk is waiting for you (don't forget your cayde-6 discount coupon).
You can check neomuna news for the new civil property destruction of Nimbus or for the newfound evidence of Osiri's research regarding the Veil (in the next maintenance even more news).
PvP enthusiast can check their closet (maybe a trial armor is there. No? Well next time I guess) and tweet your kda/trials reports.
PvE enthusiasts can dive into forums to speculate your next upcoming raid (still excepting Wrath? Well good luck I guess) and flex your latest glitch drip.
Did you think I forgot you Gambit Player? Yes I actually did (oops). Nevermind here are your reckoning guns go check them once more.
Lastly pay your respects to our fallen guardians, touch some grass (be careful for undesirable symptoms) and drink lots of water - NO not the titan water that is highly toxical.
See you star side as lore daddy would say!

I know everyone is pretty bummed about the current state of Necromancer so I wanted to find a way to create a minion build that might be viable.
This is all theory crafting for now, but I'll be starting this as my build so I'll update it it later and let you know how it goes.
https://d4builds.gg/builds/e496e453-65e0-4e66-a30e-54cbaa72dcd8/
Who is this build for?

• Anyone that wants a reliable minion build
• Anyone that wants a very comfy, if a little slow moving, build

Build highlights

• Minions stay alive through talents like Bonded in Essence (Priest heals for 70% life over 4 seconds)
• Ice skeleton mages proc vulnerability when freezing or attacking frozen enemies (bosses get guard break instead) - Still looking for a better source of vulnerability
• Our shadow damage stuns & provides a much needed 15% speed boost
• We skip the golem to gain a sweet 10% attack speed bonus

Dealing with Leveling
In the beginning, let your skeletons die and just summon them. Don't bother with healing. If decompose is too slow to start with, swap over to Reap instead.
Addressing Minion Survivability
We improve survivability by leveraging the Shadow talents that slow & stun enemies, and the ice talents that chill and freeze enemies. The extremely high attack speed of our minions coupled with constant shadow damage will break boss & elite guards almost instantly. When the boss / elite becomes unstoppable, we benefit from a 20-50% damage increase thanks to Exploiter's Aspect.
The minion support talents prevent our minions from taking spike damage and make the priest heal them for 70%.
Right now I'm looking to add in barrier, but we do have access to high amounts of fortify which help our minions as well as our own survivability.
The unique 2her Bloodless Scream sends this build into overdrive, as all of our Shadow damage will now chill enemies & generate additional essence on top of the slows and stuns it was already causing.
Aspects of note
I've included some of the more interesting aspects like Explosive Mist to quickly recover our Blood mist, Coldbinger's so our skele mages can cast blizzard (even more guard break), and Unyielding Commander which reduces minion damage by 90% and increases minion attack speed 70-90% during Army of the dead.
Alternative Skill & Talent Setup
I have chosen to skip the Decrepify CD reduction in exchange for more survivability, but honestly this build should not really need it for some time.
If it turns out we can skip blood mist, then Decrepify would be a much better choice as we can use Army of the Dead more often. We'll have to see how difficult the highest tiers of nightmare dungeons really are before we know this answer.
Covering multiple sources of damage multipliers
Finally, let's talk damage.
The most important thing we need to do is identify every unique multiplier that we can in our toolkit. We're looking for anything that says "+x%" instead of "+%" as those are likely separate multipliers and will provide substantially more benefit than anything that is just "+%."
Let's start with vulnerability. We lack a reliable way to proc vulnerability as it stands right now and in theory we could get bone spear instead of blight if the Ice Mages end up being lack-luster at proccing their vulnerability (or for bosses specifically). We slotted the glyph Exploit to further take advantage of the vulnerability multiplier.
Blight is better for us than Bone Spear is, however, as it adds another source of slow and provides a critical source of shadow over time spells when we lack a corpse in a spot we need it.
Speaking of Blight, next we have two skills with multipliers. Please do not overlook how important these are. Decompose gives a x10% multiplier for your minions while you are actively channeling it and Blights gives a x15% multiplier when an enemy is standing in its pool of goo.
We get a major boost from the rare glyph "Control" - you'll notice its the first one slotted. It has a staggering x10% multiplier for us and our minions against slowed & chilled targets. Even better, it gives a x20% multiplier against stunned or frozen enemies.
There's another glyph that isn't a multiplier, but sort of acts like one. Dreadraiser. As our minions attack enemies, enemies receive up to 12% more damage from our minions. Since this is not added to our flat modifiers, it becomes another multiplier effectively.
We have also stacked another pseudo-multiplier in copious amounts of attack speed for us and our minions.
Finally, we have the glyph Scourge which is yet another full multiplier. This time we get a x10% multiplier against enemies inflicted with Shadow DOTs (effects our minions also).
So that gives us roughly 7 separate and decently large multipliers. This should allow our minions and our own shadow damage to scale well into the late game. Of course we also have many of the additive +% bonuses, but those have much less of an impact on scaling our build into late game.
Closing
So, will this be the next meta build? I don't think so. I do think it will clear most nightmare content, probably most questionable around 70+. Necromancers are slow and while this build helps alleviate that, they completely lack a movement skill. This combined with the somewhat sluggish minions means that this build will not be breaking speed records.
If you end up trying this build let me know how it went for you! I'll be running this to start with, with a backup bone spear build in case it falls through.

[NA] [H/A] (Zul’Jin) Critically Dumb 8/9H
Critically Dumb is looking for players to solidify our raid roster for Aberrus, The Shadowed Crucible.
Who are we?
Critically dumb is a guild formed by a group of friends that enjoyed playing together and wanted more from the community of the game. On a cold winter night in 2018, the guild was founded by a group of friends and has been steadily growing ever since. The original goal of the guild was to raid together but it quickly grew to become a guild that not only achieved AOTC but also has dipped its toes into mythic every tier since.
PVE
The main goal of Critically Dumb is to achieve AOTC each tier and progress as far as we can into mythic before the end of the tier. We enjoy progression raiding and enjoy playing the game together to its fullest extent in all forms of content in the game. However, we also enjoy playing other games outside of world of warcraft together and also enjoy content outside of raiding. Most of our raid team runs keys together outside of raid time and achieved KeyStone Hero last season and plan on achieving it this season as well.
We are currently priority looking for 2 ranged DPS (mage, druid, shadow priest) and 1 main healer and 1 flex healer (resto shaman, priest, holy paladin) to help solidify our mythic roster.
PVP
Recently we have broadened our horizons to include a RBG team that is led by one of our members with extensive knowledge of PVP and RBG’s. Our raiders participate in PVP outside of raids on off nights of raid and we are actively creating a RBG team to see how far we can push ourselves in PVP.
AVAILABILITY
It is imperative to our raid team that you are on time and can maintain a near perfect attendance to raid. Our raid times are and always have been 8pm-11pm EST on Tuesday and wednesday. That being said, we understand that real life comes first and sometimes you will not be able to make it.
Aberrus, The Shadowed Crucible
Currently we are 8/9H making progress on getting AOTC within the coming week (looking at the kill next week of raiding) and moving into mythic progression.
How to Apply Please fill out the google application below and we will review your application and reach out to you.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1kZk5xXRT0v2ZfxqMOKnXMqgIHnY8KOXzJiuJgI5iyIs/edit#responses

Part One: What it's All About
We must slowly build on my first post, Space Military Structure, which gave a very rough overview of militarism in general, and the types of overarching warfare you might want in your space opera (which I call the four spatial forms, or modes). Now, it's time to actually dig a little deeper on some of the points. I shall gift a strong bias towards WWII. Not because there is nothing of use or import, or importance, from old warfare -- but because it requires too many words, and is not closely related enough to typical space opera. WWII also sets the stage for (almost) everything that came after it, and also saw the height of military leadership under George C. Marshall (U.S.). Although this is biased towards the Americans (U.S.) and the Nazis (Germany proper), you can borrow and alter such systems, doctrines, tactics, leaders, and so on as you require for your own setting/story/military, etc. Just warning you of the primary focus.
Note: I may write on the Communist/Soviet and Japanese side of things in the future. But, beyond a few worthy connections, I cannot possibly detail out the entirety of WWII! I shall just say that some great sources/places in this way would be the Soviet Union (circa 1922-1950), Japan (circa 1931-1945), the Ba'ath Party, and the Hutts (Star Wars; fictional). These have some things in common, actually. More so, the latter. Namely, they are generally what you might call 'Persian style ruling'. They are hyper-wealthy kings or king-type figures, literally living 'like kings', as they enslave everybody else. That's a bit harsh on the Persian Empire, of course, but you get the general theme/motif here, as it did apply to a number of Persian Kings (Darius III comes to mind as a bad ruler). This sort of direction also moves much more in line with classical empire-building and kingdoms, in that it's hereditary (i.e. ruling family, by blood). So, the exact source you focus on depends on the type of setting/story you have, and the governance thereof. (Of course, Stalin's Russia had the feel of Imperialist Russia whilst actually being much more in line with Hitler's Germany, at most levels, so it's quite a complex machine -- likely given its Catholic, nationalist roots, fused with the modernist, secularist Communism.)
In the Nazi context, of course, this was seen through the lens of a 'realm' (Reich), a kind of 'secular empire' which was not built upon a royal family, but a personalist dictator (with major focus on both militarism and propaganda; thus, the people themselves), where the 'blood' concept was shifted from 'ruling family' to 'the nation itself' (the Germans or 'German body' (singular)). This was also felt in a number of other nations, but Hitler's Germany is primary, and the direct source for most major space opera since 1940, so it's highly relevant for our purposes (almost always taking the side of the villains/evil empire, of course -- either in a simple-minded sort of narrative, or a more complex one (a la Star Wars (1977)).
The Americans, of course, had the President. I heard, from Douglas Murray around the time of King Charles' Coronation, that there is an innate tendency of humans towards a hereditary structure (this seems possible enough). We are obsessed with families. This makes logical sense. With this in mind, he defended the existence of the symbolic royal family of England, as a way to 'release' all of that feeling and desire at the national level.
He contrasted it with the American system, and looked to modern America to show its possible faults in this way. America became heavily obsessed with the 'first family', such as 'the Clintons'. Clearly overlaying this older framework onto the American system, which is innately unwise and unhelpful. Not only was the original idea that the President would be rather small, in terms of both power and interest -- but that his family would mean little. Hence, they took the title of president -- as in, 'president of the golf club' or, 'president of the school board'. This was not to replace 'king' or 'emperor' in any sense at all. Quite the contrary. A truly remarkable, and rare, shift in human governance. But, since the 1920s or so, this system seems to have fallen into a more European, kingly form (i.e. big government, and hyper-focus on the president). Just something to consider, if you're aiming at a generic democratic, republican type system. You need to be aware of what is likely to happen, and why, and what is required for X (pre-1920s American system) or Y (post-1920s American system). Of course, globalisation was a factor post-WWI, so you have to take your culture in relation to the wider setting (assuming you have different cultures and peoples trading/living with one another).-But, what is war all about? My understanding would be that war is about five things (in random order): (1) Defence/peacekeeping/protection (both in-country and overseas, etc.); (2) Expansion/general stability and growth -- often greed and akin to totalitarianism); (3) Emotional regulation (at the individual level); (4) Conflict resolution (religious wars, wars over land, etc. -- not that all of these are just); (5) National unity (not always positive -- and closely related to emotional regulation, among other factors and traits, and sub-traits; often (but not always) bleeds over into racial unity and purity)
Obviously, this is quite a simple picture, and war is very complex. But, this is good enough for writing space opera. Every single one of these is key; however, we (likely) want some kind of evil empire to fight, which means all of this needs to be nested in the framework of total war or the Nazi Lebensraum concept. This is primarily under (a) emotional regulation; and (b) expansion. Although Germany had major internal, and some external conflicts and issues circa 1870-1918, this alone was not enough to justify the birth -- and growth -- of Nazism for purely defence or conflict resolution reasons.
Part Two: Hitler's Total War
The primary focus must be on expansion (growth; primarily, beginning around 1927 due to mass starvation, etc.; coupled with totalitarian notions), emotional regulation, and national unity, in relation to Nazi Germany. The only other key element to throw in there would be the requirement to actually solve their major internal problems, but this did not innately require Nazism. But, by the fate of history, it was highly likely to be dealt with by either the Nazis or the by-then Stalinist Communists (which had become quite popular by 1932, at the height of the Depression in Germany).
To quote a German (long after the war): 'It was not a question of whether we were going to become a dictatorship [circa 1932], it was a question of the kind of dictatorship we were going to get: a Nazi dictatorship or a Communist dictatorship'.
Sadly, then, due to the state of affairs at this time, there was no hope for Germany to ever become a non-dictatorship through the 1930s and 1940s. The stage was already set for so many complex, interesting, confusing reasons. A primary problem, noted by Hitler himself, was the general state of Germany itself by 1920 or so (which had actually been a growing problem, and many-faceted since 1870). He writes about this in Mein Kampf (1925), and calls it so: Weimar Republic. This became the normative term by the 1930s. To translate Hitler's thinking: he meant it in the context of, 'the Ally puppet republic -- broken, weak, anti-German republic -- of the city of Weimar, not at all speaking to Germany or the Germans'.
Hitler was mostly correct about that, and many Germans agreed with him (including many pro-German socialists; hence, the name. In the first place, there was a major socialist arm of the Nazi (National Socialist) Party). He was able to weaponise this, and demand radical governmental change to solve some of their internal issues, including the Depression itself.
We should step back a moment. By WWI, Germany was already a fragmented, confused nation -- and there was a rapid growth of pro-war actors and groups by 1914, including Hitler himself. By 1920, Germany was crushed into the mud (quite literally), which gave way for Hitler and others to become seriously radical actors. One issue across Germany at this time was the basic governmental system itself, as the old President, Paul Von Hindenburg, was not up to the task of a modern Germany: but, he had one theme through him -- he hated Hitler. Now, Hitler had learnt from his failed Putsch back in 1923. He learnt to play the system (which he simply called 'the System', not an uncommon theme for a revolutionary group). As a result, he had the idea to take Germany, not so much by force, but by popular vote. And, that's what he did.
However, the Nazi Party's growth was slow, only reaching great power by 1927 or so (more so, 1932), due to: (a) The Depression; (b) Superior propaganda tactics; (c) Positive vision for the future (the Communists were rather unhelpful and depressive -- note, this does not mean that the Nazi vision was objetively positive, it was merely what they were handing to the Germans, in a pro-German context); (d) Extreme street-level violence (akin to the Communist side); (e) Trans-classist outreach (i.e. they tried to reach just about everybody, across the classes and groups, including (1) women; (2) working classes; and (3) the middle/upper classes; and (f) Hitler's remarkable oratory skills, and modern campaigning (i.e. travelling to every town and city he could, speaking directly to the voters, which was quite rare back then, believe it or not)
Shockingly, however, the Communist side was also hyper-popular, and used many of the same tactics and methods by 1932. Hitler saw major victories across this period (1928-1932), almost becoming President (yes, he ran for President). It was not until the famous, and final 'true' German election in 1933 that Hitler won out and became ruler of Germany. But, again: the race was quite close, but the numbers spoke for themselves. By now, Germany (tens of millions of voters) were not voting for the generic socialist or even German parties as they had done back in 1927, but only the two most extreme: Nazi and (semi-pro-German/Stalinist) Communist.
Almost instantly (around two months) did Hitler begin his process of Germanisation (Nazification). We already know from his early speeches and writings that he had such plans in place as early as 1921, give or take (with certain scholars claiming that Hitler had such visions in mind, back in 1914 or prior). The other major view of Hitler's Germany is that it was more of a co-op effort between the Party and the Germans, and that Hitler slowly came to his ideas and policy choices as time went on. Since there is great evidence for both of these visions, I must take a combined view, and say that Hitler had certain ideas/goals from the beginning, with others being later creations and plans.
Regardless, we know one thing for certain: Hitler aimed at total war, and he -- for a short period -- achieved it. Although notions of 'total war' reach back into Prussian and French history (among others), the real birth of it is Nazi Germany, by the mid-1930s (though both the Soviet Union and Fascist Italy may be of note), followed by Japan (more so under the singular ruling Party circa 1942).
We take such things for granted today, even confusing 'war' (as such) with 'total war'; however, we know the differences, and they are profound. First of all, Hitler's shift towards total war is clear by quite a rare notion: the total removal of the law of war. The singular 'law of war' can be understood as the 'fairness of war' or 'moral of war' (not to be confused with the 'art of war', which often speaks to an overarching theory of warfare by a given figure (such as de Saxe or Sun Tzu), which may or may not include core elements of fairness).
The second primary element at play, which you do not see in generic cases of war, is the total militarisation of the nation, of the people.
You likely understand all of this more in the fictional context, than the historical. I could mention the Empire from Star Wars, or the Klingons from Star Trek. They are, in a sense, low-resolution images or caricature of the Nazi machine. This is because the Nazi machine itself is a sort of caricature and is almost impossible to believe. That is how innately anti-human the system was and how anti-Western in its fundamental formulation and doctrines.
But, if you want to your evil empire justice -- or, indeed, want to create a more 'neutral' military empire, then you need to really understand the origins, doctrines, feelings, and core mechanisms and utopian goals of Nazi Germany, beyond the surface notion of, 'evil Fascists'. That's just not enough.
Part Three: What is Enough?; How Did Nazi Germany Function, if at All?
Well, you have to try and put yourself in the shoes of a typical German citizen during 1932, first of all. Imagine that you're naturally proud of your nation, history, and people/culture. Imagine that you're on the street without work or food. Imagine that you're being attacked, literally and symbolically, from the Russians/Communists from the north, and the French/Americans/British from the south and west.
Then, imagine you are filled with shame over the horrible defeat of WWI, and forced shame from the Allies, and the massive war tax, keeping the Germans poor and unfit. And, imagine that you're seeing a very arrogant, powerful, free, wealthy France take more and more of your land, and build up its own army around you. That would make anybody not only angry but extremely desperate and confused, with a burning desire for nationalism and the end to this state of affairs. Throw in an unhealthy dose of pro-German/anti-French (and anti-British and anti-Jewish) propaganda, complete with the already extreme anti-Semitic notions in the air (since at least 1880), and you have set the stage for such a shift of power.
After all, the Jews had their own sub-cultures and wealth, and were not deemed to be 'part of the German body' at all. On top of this, they were deemed as the murderer of God himself (from the Christian view), so it was not a leap for them to shift the blame from the Germans to the Jews, in relation to WWI. Being blamed for WWI and held in the mud by the French was too much for them to handle, once you throw in mass starvation and a broken internal structure.
It's not so much a question to me, that Nazism became the state power, but that it didn't happen sooner. This shows the primary strength of the average German through the 1920s, to still believe in some generic system and free Germany -- not to fall into Communism or Nazism so easily. Sadly, by 1932, this was too much -- and Hitler had his own large paramilitary force by this stage (early on, known as Stormtroopers (I'm sure you know this term from Star Wars)), so shutting down citizens was an easier task.
At that stage, you are likely capable of creating your own sturcture of this sort, for your own space opera wastory. You can really understand how such a system could be created; and why the average man would possibly vote for it.
This is also required to understand military thinking in general. Indeed, a lot of what was going through the average German soldier's head applied to America and almost every other nation, as it spoke to basic values and rituals and doctrines: honour, duty, nationalism, family, and freedom.
(See Christopher Browning's book, Ordinary Men. Jocko actually talks about it on his podcast at one point. Here, Browning goes through a pretty average, pre-Hitler German police unit, which was compelled into Hitler's Germany by the late-1930s. Mostly, older, generic German men. It goes through their journey from perfectly normal policemen into insane mass murderers. How? The same way you reach hell: one, small step at a time. This book single-handedly removes any notion that only special men can be evil, only special men can be killers. Much more difficult to factor into your moral framework is the reality that these are often not special at all -- but ordinary.)
In the case of Nazi Germany itself, this is made much more complex by its bedrock structure, which largely remained until 1942. As I alluded to earlier, one Prussian concept that remained was the idea of going above your superior's head. This came from the time when captains and such had some real power as mid-ranking officers, yet were filled by noblemen and such, that had no idea what they were doing. As a result, the actual soldiers and thinkers below the rank of captain were able to go around said nobleman, to complain to the higher-ups, or to actively take over the nobleman's duties. Hitler ultimately kept this system in place, and even played on it, to create major internal rivalry. This was a fairly decent method in some cases, for a short period; however, it became an unworkable mess by 1942, which is when Hitler finally solved the problem. The problem was, he solved it in a very foolish way, mostly under the KHO (high command), leaving the army disconnected, and hardly paying attention to the other branches by this time. The KHO was not up to the task, due to lack of size and talent.
The other major change he made was utter obeisance up the chain of command. This brought a new problem, however: now, instead of a local officer of mid-rank going over the head of a slightly higher-ranked officer (either to Hitler or otherwise), he now had to obey every order of said commandeofficer, without question or fail. No matter what.
Thus, we now enter the final primary stage of Nazi Germany circa 1943-1945. This is the 'downfall stage', and also the infamous stage of 'just following orders' (as noted as the primary defence plea at the trials). When a Nazi said, 'I was just following orders', what he really meant was, 'I'm not to blame the crime, because I was demanded, almost by divine command, to follow the order, no matter what that order was'. The trials took this into account, and understood the concept well enough, since it was fairly in place in America and England, though this saw a generally less extreme form, and most orders were actually decent from the American command during WWII. Nonetheless, this led to the almost impossible reality of the trials ending with a fair number of either free Nazis, or at least short prison terms. Of course, all top-ranking Nazi Party members were found guilty, regardless of their plea (which ultimately placed all blame on Hitelr himself, at the top of the chain).
Be mindful of such a framework in your own space military structure. One negative outcome of this by 1943, was that the high-ranking Nazis handed most of their duties down the chain of command; thus, forcing lower and lower ranked officers to perform more and more duties. At times, this led to the failure to complete said duties/tasks, or poor judgement. It also gave supreme power to the mid-ranking officers, as they de facto took on the role of the higher-ups. Since these high-ranking officers were many in their numbers and were widespread at all levels (location, ability, plans, etc.), it led to the complete confusion of the Nazi machine and war effort. Of course, this was somewhat the case since 1939, anyway. But, it became even worse by 1943, as Hitler fragmented everything to ensure his own position of power (after all, his worry was, having an actually functional system, like the Americans, would gift far too much power to the generals and other Party members; thus, they could easily overthrow him).
Either way, despite Hitler's supreme focus on his 'singular vision' for Germany (which he also stressed in Mein Kamf), he made some very foolish mistakes, and was dealing with such an innately broken, evil system that he couldn't possibly ensure such things. For example, as early as 1940, we saw major differences in how the generals and leaders of the Gaue, etc. treated their subjects and tasks. For example, when Germany invaded Poland, there was mixed understranding as to how to treat the Polish and others, and how all of this should proceed. It became such a confused mess that some of the leaders wanted to pretty much Germanised the existing Poles, take their land, re-educate them, and take them in as new Reich Citizens (more so, if they were found to be German in any way, at the level of blood). On the other hand, other leaders of the now-annexed Poland wanted to outright murder all the Poles, regardless of their German blood or other considerations.
This sort of cross-purpose working was almost the norm by 1942 across Nazi Germany: again, partly enforced by Hitler himself with his 'rough orders' sort of leadership. Hitler also had the notion that by forcing in-fighting, he would sit back and see who came out on top; thus, ensuring that the best man did the job/task. But, this was a heavily incomplete theory, to say the least.
Back to Star Wars, for a moment: there is some indications that this is how the Empire ran, as well; hence, the horrible leadership of the Empire and its ultimate downfall.
To end the thread of Nazi Germany (for now), I shall point your attention towards the utter secularisation, utopianisation of the society. By 1937, Nazi Germany was not only one of the most powerful cultures on Earth, with one of the greatest standing armies in history, but it had one of the most 'modern' (i.e. post-WII) social systems in place, which included the likes of cheap cruise trips and holiday sites and entertainment items (radios, etc.), primarily aimed at the working classes. Of course, most of this was only possible due to literal blood money and was primarily geared towards propaganda and total Nazification.
At the same time, Hitler began to re-shape Germany in his own image: removing all Jewish (and then Christian/Roman) elements from society... and history. He even tried to re-write the Bible with a so-called Fifth Gospel, as to replace Jesus (a Jew) with a Germanic figure. This failed as the people largely rejected such; however, atheism and secularism in general were radically enforced through the late-1930s and 1940s, and classical faith dropped massively.
At the level of government, Hitler crafted a semi-centralised system, with local rulers (of a district or Gau) that had near-total imperium (meaning, power over their area and subjects). This massively unified Germany and the flow of the culture, come the fragmented, hyper-localised system of the old Germany. Of course, this itself was a struggle to put into place, and by 1942, it was also clear that it's not so easy to control people: they have social networks and sub-systems of their own, and these are the primary driving forces behind settlement structures and otherwise.
Hitler had some sense of this, more so at the border to France, but like with many other fundamental problems of Germany (such as the large anti-Nazi Christian movement), he wanted to put it off until victory.
This is an unwise tactic, if the problems keep growing, as they did. It reminds me somewhat of the Japanese tactic of winning through, 'faith in victory'. Well, victory does not magically appear: you have to actually work towards victory in a stable, logical way. Of course, as I alluded to earlier: the Nazis had major problems in place as early as 1939, so entering/creating the war itself was a grave mistake (as the generals told him at the time). Keep this in mind. You need to actually create a real, functional, multi-faceted system, and a core generalship. You need all the branches working with one another. And, you need to maybe not take over the world, because that's a horrible idea and very difficult. It also helps if you don't waste money and time killing all the Jews and Poles, etc. as you're losing the war. That's just illogical. Then again: the Nazis are not very logical, even Hitler as logical as he was at times. The failed invasion of Russia was also a major issue, but was likely not as big an issue as the other combined factors, actually!
Part Four: Good Generalship
Speaking of generals and the failure of Hitler's leadership, for a more stable evil empire -- or for your other faction/'good guys', you might want to look to America during WWII. Not perfect, of course, and I cannot defend all of its choices or systems or reasoning, but it's certainly one of the best systems that we saw (and there is every indication that America's generalship and army leadership has only become worse since 1945). I also recall some stories of the Navy having some major struggles, too, and just overall downfall of its culture and traditions (begininng as ealry as the 1970s). For example, drinking mostly died out in the Navy by the 1990s, and so the bars were shut down on bases, etc.
One problem with this was the lack of 'telling story' (as they say). This is when the men would meet in the bar, tell stories of war, of the great heroes -- get inspired, and wiser, with any luck. Not sure how widespread this is, but the storytelling and social meeting element of this seems to come back somewhat since then. This is just one example of something deeply important to sailors, and you remove such at your own risk. You need to 'tell story', you need to be inspired, you need to have naval heroes to look up to. The same logic applies to the soldiers of the Army, too.
It's almost like the soul was ripped out of the American military in the 1950s, and it has struggled to put it back in ever since.
So, what did the generalship of WWII look like? What can we learn from it? Well, we have to turn to one George C. Marshall. But, first, let's go back to 1939. America had a standing army of about 200,000 men: pretty standard for peacetime. Very small. By 1945, Marshall stood down a force of over 10 million. Beginning around 1942, America went from a fairly minor military power with relatively little spending, to the greatest military power in the world -- likely, in history.
It all began in WWI, as it turns out. In the first place, the Americans shifted to a more European system by this time, which largely remained through WWII. This is where they got their division system from, and all their numbering systems and such.
Despite popular belief, the Nazi military was not great, logistically speaking. They were good, and tried very hard to fight dozens of nations at once, and deal with tens of millions of people -- but their systems and talent were just not up to the task. It's often noted that the Nazis could not even out-do the Polish counter-intelligence by 1940!
The U.S. military, on the other hand, was elegant beyond measure. You can get a sense of this via its Navy, paying close attention to its ID system, almost impossible turn-over of Victory ships, and its battleships and otherwise major vessels. These are iconic for a reason, and still command and defend the waters of the world today (along with the British submarines and others).
Well, it's worth noting that the Americans were actually fighting for freedom, not just food or world control, like the Nazis and German citizens were. The Americans were also not really forced into battle, unlike the Germans. On top of this, the Americans -- largely thanks to Marshall -- had a profound merit-based system. Nazi Germany, on the other hand, was so racially biased as to be almost self-defeating. Often, for example, high-ranking civil positions, such as a factory chief, would be a Nazi member, regardless of his abilities. On the other hand, if a great worker looked 'too Jewish' he would never be hired (this was mostly done by photo ID, and was understood via big noses and otherwise features).
Although America had its own major racial issues at this time, and was not wonderfully fond of Jews, it had enough wisdom and goodness to primarily focus on merit and ability.
Returning again to WWI for a moment, Marshall himself noted that there was a complete failure of the system. It had hardly moved on for over 100 years (which is to be imagined, as a military system innately requires stability and a lack of change). But, this was too much... the world was changing, and the military was not. Marshall had the wisdom and ability to fix this during WWII as Chief of Staff with extreme power and focus. First of all, he outright fired any general or otherwise not up to the task of WWII. Not even joking. He literally walked up to them, and fired them on the spot. He fired them if they were (a) too old; (b) too aggressive; (c) not aggressive enough; and/or (d) too illogical/stupid.
He would entirely remove them, or relocate them to other positions, where they were either of use, or out of the way.
So, by 1942, Marshall rallied for great action from America, and began his process of re-shaping the American generalship. He did so across a few dimensions. First of all, he understood that America was not Prussia or France or England. He understood that America had its own values and rituals: he lent into that and used it. This was the birth of the American military we see today, to the degree that it's functional and proper. Most of all, this bled down the ranks, to the soldier himself. This is where we get the 'cocky, arrogant American soldier' from. This actually began as a very good thing, showing supreme faith, bravery, and optimism. He made it really easy for us... he wrote a list! I do love a good list...
The four qualities (well, really, about seven) a good general or leader requires, according to Marshall, circa 1920 (in a letter). Clearly, written just after WWI and everything he saw therein:

• Optimism
• Bravery and dutifulness
• Extreme loyalty
• Hopefulness and resolve

Note: An added bit of interest might be that we can blame Marshall for why America has a 'General of the Army' instead of a 'field marshal' (like Europe, etc.). They thought it would be unthinkable to have a 'Marshal Marshall', so by luck of the gods, his name was entirely the wrong name for the job when it came time, in late-1944, for the first ever modern rank of 'marshal', or General of the Army). This is a five-star rank, just above general (full general/four-star general).
(In theory, the six-star general rank would be 'General of the Armies' (plural), though this rank no longer exists in any real sense, though it does apply to Washington, since 1976. In a German context, this is 'Reichsmarschall' (Reich Marshal; which applied to Goring only), one rank above 'field marshal' -- which is also known as 'marshal', 'general field marshal', or 'field marshal general'. Interestingly, Hitler had wanted Goring to take command, if anything should happen to him. But, Goring asked Hitler directly for command towards the end of the war, which made Hitler so angry as to call for his death. I guess, he hurt Hitler's ego, to say the least.)