Demographics: Asian Male
Intended Major(s): Computer Science, Data Science; Minor in maybe either stats or business analytics
ACT/SAT/SAT II: 1370 ( 580 EBRW; 790 M) (I am retaking sat June in 2 days lol)
UW/W GPA and Rank:
3.85 UW
Rank: top 5.8%
(my school uses a weird system to do ranking and thats y I didn't include weighted. its super weird)
Coursework: AP/IB/Dual Enrollment classes, AP/IB scores, etc:
12 AP's + 12 Dual Credits
Freshman: AP huG: 2
- DC Spanish 3
- DC Comp. Sci. 2
Soph:
AP CSP: 5
WHAP: 4
AP Spanish 4: 2
AP calculus AB: 5
- DC US History I and II
- DC Business
Junior:
AP Stats (predicted 5)
AP CSA (predicted 5)
AP Calculus BC (Predicted 5)
AP Lang (Predicted 3 or 4)
- DC Gov
- DC Econ
- DC Gov 2
- DC Art appreciation
Senior year(planning):
- AP Physics C EM
- AP Physics C Mech
- DC CS 4
- DC CS archetrccture
- DC Psychology/Sociology
- DC Speech/litereature (English 4 credit)
- Maybe do DC discrete math but probably not)
Awards:
Scholar Award AP
Young CS intern award for a startup company
- regional finalist
- UIL top 2 in region; top 10 in state for CS
Extracurriculars: Include leadership & summer activities
- VP for Computer Science Club
- Historian for Model UN
- DECA, TSA(regional finalist) + NHS
Summer activities:
- Interned as a web developedesign for a startup company
- Teach young children and tutor them Computer Science
- COursera/Edx/udemy courses for cs related like python in ml and stuff
- A shit ton of projects that I have on GitHub like creating a real-time chat application like discord or iMessage or even created a instagram clone
- Interned as a technology manager for a non-profit company
- Volunteered more than 200+ hours
​
Essays/LORs/Other: I am a junior right now, so I didn't ask any LORs yet but I will probably ask my math teacher, physics teacher, and my English teacher. But its most likely:
Calculus teacher(8/10)
Physics teacher(7/10)
English teacher(8/10)
Schools: List of colleges, ED/EA/RD, etc
Planning instate of Texas:
UT Austin(main goal)
UT dallas
UT Arlington
UT Austin(main goal)
A&M
UNT
RICE University

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This post is going to sound like the ramblings of a crazed conspiracy theorist - the kind that everyone rolls their eyes at and pays no mind to. I’m going to ask you all for a difficult favor. Please hear me out first before writing me off as paranoid and insane.
​
You might be familiar with the airline SkyFly. For those that aren’t - SkyFly is an airline originating from Austin, Texas. It started out as a lesser known company, but within five years, it became one of the top dogs in the airline business. They’re also the worst.
​
If you thought United Airlines was bad for breaking guitars, or Delta Airlines for kicking passengers off of overbooked flights, you haven’t seen anything yet. SkyFly takes the cake. The CEO, Felix Thompson is a literal evil genius. He got away with first degree murder by masking it as negligent homicide.
​
Felix made it look like the oh so tragic death of Captain Gary Hurst was a result of cutting corners, instead of him being a specific target. I have proof of this. All you need to do is read the black box transcript from SkyFly Flight 49, which slammed into a field on May 29, 2013 due to a sudden mechanical failure. Captain Gary Hurst, Co-Captain Drew Baltimore, the four flight attendants, and all 250 passengers were killed on impact. There were no survivors.
​
SkyFly paid a good deal of money to keep that transcript discreet. You won’t find it on a Google search. You won’t find any news articles on it, either. This travesty was swept beneath the rug, and thoroughly stomped on to keep it there. What Felix did not anticipate, was for his own daughter to have enough of a conscience to betray him.
​
I’m leaking this transcript, because both customers and employees of SkyFly Airlines deserve to know the serious risk to their lives.
 

Start of Transcript

​
1549:49.3 [start of recording]
​
1549:50 Captain: Good morning everyone! Thank you for flying SkyFly Airlines! We expect to arrive in Boston, Massachusetts in six hours.
​
1549:54.8 [sound of click]
​
1549:57.7 Co-Pilot: I love the feeling of lifting off from the ground. It’s like in John Gillepsie’s poem: “Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth, And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings…”
​
1550:14 Captain: Let’s hope this one stays in the air.
​
1550:22 Co-Pilot: What do you mean?
​
1550:25 Captain: You don’t feel that rattling?
​
1550:25 Co-Pilot: Shit. We need to return to the airport to get it looked at.
​
1550:27 Captain: SkyFly Airlines Flight 49 calling into air traffic.
​
1550:31 Air Traffic: Flight 49? What’s the situation?
​
1550:32 [Sound of click]
​
1550:34 Captain: We just took off and the plane is starting to rattle. The yoke feels stiff as well. Permission to return to the airport for an urgent landing?
​
1550:35 Air Traffic: [Captain], you have been flying for over fifteen years. You don’t need to make such a dramatic move over a little bit of turbulence.
​
1550:37 Captain: And as someone who has been flying for over fifteen years, I’m telling you that there’s something seriously wrong with this plane!
​
1550: 38 [sound of clicking]
​
1150:40 Air Traffic: You don’t need to return to port! Just keep flying! If it gets worse in the next hour, then we can discuss an emergency landing!
​
1550:43 Captain: Roger that!
​
1550:44 [sound of click]
​
1550:44.1 Captain: What a dick…
​
1550:45 Co-Pilot: Are we going to be okay?
​
1551:01 Captain: We can only pray.
​
1551:09.3 Captain: To be fair, things have smoothened out. Maybe I was getting paranoid.
​
1551:09.9 Co-Pilot: Why did you have such an extreme reaction?
​
1551:18.1 Captain: I keep getting put in broken planes. The first time, a failure in the elevators had this plane tossing and turning. The second time, there was a sudden explosion in BOTH engines. The third time, the plane literally stalled for a second. Thankfully I was able to land before anyone got seriously hurt, but this is not a lucky streak that I want to press.
​
1551:20.6 Co-Pilot: Let’s try not to let the worst case scenario impede on our current flight. A little bit of turbulence isn’t going to hurt us.
​
1551:36 Captain: What happened to agreeing with me to land the plane immediately and get it looked at?
​
1551:38 Co-Pilot: Air traffic made a good point.
​
1551:40 [the captain heaves a heavy sigh]
​
1551:42 [sound of rattling]
​
1551:50 Captain: Shit!
​
1551:58 Co-Pilot: What was that??
​
1552:01 Captain: I don’t know, but nothing good.
​
1552:02 [sound of an electronic hissing]
​
1552:31 Plane Warning System: Autopilot disabled. Autopilot disabled. Autopilot disabled.
​
1552:41 Captain: What did I fucking tell you?
​
1552:51 [Sound of click]
​
1552:53 Captain: Hold onto that controller like your life depends on it - because it does!
​
1552:59 Captain: SkyFly Airlines Flight 49 calling into air traffic. We have an emergency.
​
1553:03 Air Traffic: Flight 49? What’s the problem?
​
1553:08 Captain: The plane is shaking like an earthquake, and autopilot has suddenly disabled itself. Permission to make an emergency landing?
​
1553:09 Air Traffic: Just fly it manually! You know how to do that!
​
1553:10 Captain: Air traffic, I am telling you that this plane is going to fall apart before we get there!
​
1553:11 Air Traffic: Get a grip! Just keep flying manually!
​
1553:15 Captain: Roger that, asshole.
​
1553:17 Captain: Well, I suppose it’s good practice for flying manually.
​
1553:19 Co-Pilot: Is this safe?
​
1553:21 Captain: Not at all. But what choice do we have?
​
1553:28 Co-Pilot: If something else happens and air traffic denies the request to land, maybe we should just do it anyway. There are 250 lives at stake.
​
1553:35 Captain: That’s the plan. I’d land it now, but I’d catch too much shit for it.
​
1553:37 [sound of violent shaking]
​
1553:40 Captain: WOAH!!
​
1553:46 Plane Warning System: TERRAIN TERRAIN! PULL UP! TERRAIN TERRAIN! PULL UP!
​
1553:47 [sound of frantic clicking]
​
1553:48 Captain: Oh, thank god. I’m not ready to meet my maker yet.
​
1553:53 Captain: SkyFly Airlines Flight 49 calling into air traffic. We have a serious emergency.
​
1554:24 Air Traffic: Flight 49? What’s the problem?
​
1554:26 Captain: We temporarily lost control of the aircraft. We NEED to land before it happens again!
​
1554:32 Air Traffic: [murmuring] I guess we don’t have a choice but to let you land…
​
1554:33 Captain: Don’t have a choice?? What the hell is that supposed to mean??
​
1554:35 [sound of click]
​
1554:37 Captain: Oh shit! That was a scary pitch! I swear, it’s like these gears are covered in rust!
​
1554:50 Captain: Drew, why are you looking at me like that?
​
1554:51 Co-Pilot: Because I just realized that you’ve been put in broken planes for a reason…
​
1554:53 Captain: Air traffic control might be a dick, but they wouldn’t commit such an insane conspiracy with 250 other lives!
​
1555:00 Co-Pilot: I don’t think it’s a conspiracy. They just “don’t want to fix what isn’t broken.”
​
1555:00 Captain: What…
​
1555:01 Co-Pilot: I doubt these planes have had proper maintenance in a long time. Cutting corners is cheaper. If we make an emergency landing, SkyFly is going to have to pay to get the plane fixed.
​
1555:06 Captain: Why the hell would air traffic be involved in that?
​
1555:16 Co-Pilot: CEO’s know how to make friends.
​
1555:18 Plane Warning System: TERRAIN TERRAIN! PULL UP! TERRAIN TERRAIN! PULL UP!
​
1555:19 Captain: MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
​
1555:20 Co-Pilot: [talking into black box] Melissa, baby, I love you so much. You’re the love of my life, okay? And it’s also okay if you move on and marry another man after me. I want you to be happy, okay? Don’t let this tragedy kill you too!
​
1555:24 Captain: IDIOT!! DON’T GIVE UP YET!! Yank on that yoke as hard as you can!!
​
1555:25 Co-Pilot: Roger that!
​
1555:30 Plane Warning System: TERRAIN TERRAIN! PULL UP! TERRAIN TERRAIN! PULL UP!
​
1555:31 Captain: MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
​
1555:32 Air Traffic: Okay, Flight 49, you have permission to make an emergency landing.
​
1555:38 Captain: Let’s hope it’s not too late for that!
​
1555: 39 [sound of explosion]
​
1555:40 Captain: Air traffic, we just lost control of the vertical stabilizer!
​
1555:41 Air Traffic: Okay, what do you want to do?
​
1555:43 Captain: There’s nothing to be done at this point. We’re in an uncontrollable dive.
​
1555:45 Co-Pilot God have mercy on all of our souls…
​
1555:47 [sound of impact]

End of transcript

 
 
SkyFly Flight 49 slammed full speed into an empty field in Dripping Springs, Texas. There were no survivors. Just as co-pilot Drew Baltimore said, CEO’s know how to make friends. A further investigation would reveal that the air traffic control workers heard in this black box recording were being paid $5k check bonuses to keep these broken planes in the air.
​
Maintenance crews gave the clearance for the planes’ safety checks, but never did any real examination into their condition. It was a conspiracy, to be sure. But like I said in the beginning of this post, it was never about saving money. If it were a matter of frugality, EVERY SkyFly pilot would have been in a broken plane.
​
It was only Captain Gary Hurst that was assigned to these planes that were not suited for flight.
​
Captain Gary was such a good pilot that he could land a broken plane without casualties. When one busted plane was forced to go out of commission due to a successful landing, they’d put him in another one. I know you’re thinking that I’m making reaches. After all, why would such a conspiracy involve 250 other innocent passengers, 4 flight attendants, and another co-pilot?
​
Simple: When a CEO commits negligent homicide, they get a $2 million slap on the wrist, and can carry on with their lives. If a CEO commits 1st Degree murder, they risk life without parole.
​
CEO’s kill people everyday though human trafficking, exploitation of labor, negligent maintenance practices, and denying medical insurance to their employees. What’s 255 more in a simple plane crash? Captain Gary Hurst was always the target. The other innocent lives lost that day were simply a necessary collateral damage to get away with murder. I don’t know why my father wanted that man dead. I admit that I don’t have an explanation for a motive.
​
But only one pilot assigned to four consecutive broken planes? That’s not a coincidence. ESPECIALLY when air traffic control was trying to keep him in the air every single time.
​
If you’re a pilot still working for SkyFly, RESIGN ASAP before you become next. If you have a flight booked with SkyFly, cancel it immediately. You could be the next target, or the next collateral damage to kill their target.
​

My father does not care if you die, as long as he gets to live well.

Good morning! Texas fan here (was at the Texas Alabama game in Austin last season, your fans were super cool, it was a great time even though it was a billion degrees and the Horns lost).
I'll be in Alabama for the first time for the week two game. Wondering what the "pro" game-day parking spots are? Anyway to reserve a spot somewhere near campus? Also any pre-game tailgate spots to check out, places to eat, etc...etc...etc...
Thanks in advance and I hope no one gets hurt, and we get to watch a great game!
Hook 'em

For my Texas people, what's the move? I'm stuck between going to Austin to see it at the Bullock Museum or to San Antonio at the AMC Rivercenter. What are y'all choosing, I'm in the Houston area btw

Greetings! I'm a Dungeon Master of some quality looking for some players. I want a change of pace, I've never done it but I want to do some irl d&d games.
I've been playing since 5e came out, and I've dm-ed a couple of times. I'm 22 years old and friends have said I can be a pretty bubbly and bright person with a penchant for storytelling.
I haven't decided on when yet, we'll discuss it when we have all the players. It will be in the Georgetown Library or Round Rock Library for the first few sessions.
Please be over 18
LGBTQ+ friendly
Cooperative

This month there are local elections in Texas, and we know the best way to win the state is to start with the smallest races!
 
Keep checking our volunteer from home spreadsheet! It’s been updated with opportunities to volunteer for important races! As always, important events are bolded, and it is being constantly updated
 
Donate to the Expand the Senate Fund to keep the Senate in 2024!
 
Take our survey so we can update you on volunteer opportunities near you!
   
 

Texas

 

Canvass

Dallas - Local Elections - Thursdays and Saturdays
Houston - Chris Hollins for City Controller - Saturdays
Killeen - Bell County Candidates - Various Dates
McKinney - Stacey Donald and Scott Coleman for Collin College Board - Saturday, June 3
Pasadena - Ignacia Garcia for City Council - Saturday, June 3, Sunday, June 4, and Saturday, June 10
 

Phone Bank from Home

Bell County Democrats - Weekdays
Chris Hollins for Houston City Controller - Sundays and Thursdays
Scott Coleman and Stacey Donald for Collin College Board of Trustees - Various Dates
 

Voter Registration Training from Home

Battleground Texas - Wednesday, June 7
 

Register Voters

Alamo - Saturday, June 3
Dallas - Friday, June 2
Dallas - Saturday, June 3
Dallas - Saturday, June 3
Dallas - Sunday, June 4
Denton - Friday, June 9
Denton - Friday, June 9
Denton - Sunday, June 11
Fort Worth - Saturday, June 3
Harlingen - Friday, June 2
Houston - Thursday, June 1
Houston - Thursday, June 1 and Friday, June 2
Houston - Thursday, June 15
McAllen - Saturday, June 3
McKinney - Saturday, June 10
Mission - Thursday, June 1
San Antonio - Saturday, June 3
San Antonio - Saturday, June 10
 

Volunteer at the Polls

Plano - Plano Area Democrats - Saturday, June 10
 

Write Postcards in Person

Austin - Texas Blue Action Democrats - Tuesday, June 13
Pasadena - Harris County Democrats - Thursdays
   
You can also find volunteer and donation links for the candidates in upcoming runoff and special elections listed below. Elections are sorted by date.
 

June 6th

 
Mike Johnston is running for mayor of Denver, Colorado. You can donate or volunteer. Visit his website, Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube.
 

June 13th

 
Wendy Pieh is running for Maine House of Representatives District 45. You can donate via the Maine Clean Election Act Service! Sign up to canvass! Visit her website, Facebook page, and Instagram!
 

August 3rd

 
Justin Jones is running for Tennessee House of Representatives District 52 after his unfair ouster! You can make a donation, visit his website, Twitter, and Instagram!
 
Lori Love is running for Tennessee House of Representatives District 3. Make a donation! Visit her Linked in, Facebook, or Twitter.
 

November 7th

 
Andy Beshear is running for re-election as Governor of Kentucky. Please donate if you can, or sign up to volunteer! Visit his website, Facebook page, Twitter feed, and Instagram.
 
Pamela Stevenson is running for Kentucky Attorney General. Please volunteer or donate! Take a look at her website, Facebook, and Twitter.
 
Charles “Buddy” Wheatley is running for Kentucky Secretary of State. You can donate or visit his website or Facebook page!
 
Michael Bowman is running for Kentucky Treasurer. Please donate if you are able, or become a volunteer! Check out his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Youtube.
 
Kimberley Reeder is running for Kentucky Auditor of Public Accounts. You can visit her website or donate.
 
Sierra Enlow is running for Kentucky Commissioner of Agriculture. Please donate, volunteer, or attend an event. Visit her website, Facebook, Linked In, and Twitter.
 
Daniel McCaffery is running for Pennsylvania Supreme Court. If you are able, please make a donation or become a volunteer. Take a look at his website, Facebook page, and Instagram.
 
Jill Beck is running for Pennsylvania Superior Court. Please donate to her campaign, or sign up to volunteer. Check out her website, Facebook page, Twitter, and Instagram.
 
Timika Lane is running for Pennsylvania Superior Court. Consider making a donation. Visit her website, Facebook page, and Instagram.
 
Matt Wolf is running for Pennsylvania Commonwealth Court. Check out his website!

Join VoteDEM, our permanent subreddit, to learn more!
This month there are local elections in Texas, and we know the best way to win the state is to start with the smallest races!
 
Keep checking our volunteer from home spreadsheet! It’s been updated with opportunities to volunteer for important races! As always, important events are bolded, and it is being constantly updated
 
Donate to the Expand the Senate Fund to keep the Senate in 2024!
 
Take our survey so we can update you on volunteer opportunities near you!
   
 

Texas

 

Canvass

Dallas - Local Elections - Thursdays and Saturdays
Houston - Chris Hollins for City Controller - Saturdays
Killeen - Bell County Candidates - Various Dates
McKinney - Stacey Donald and Scott Coleman for Collin College Board - Saturday, June 3
Pasadena - Ignacia Garcia for City Council - Saturday, June 3, Sunday, June 4, and Saturday, June 10
 

Phone Bank from Home

Bell County Democrats - Weekdays
Chris Hollins for Houston City Controller - Sundays and Thursdays
Scott Coleman and Stacey Donald for Collin College Board of Trustees - Various Dates
 

Voter Registration Training from Home

Battleground Texas - Wednesday, June 7
 

Register Voters

Alamo - Saturday, June 3
Dallas - Friday, June 2
Dallas - Saturday, June 3
Dallas - Saturday, June 3
Dallas - Sunday, June 4
Denton - Friday, June 9
Denton - Friday, June 9
Denton - Sunday, June 11
Fort Worth - Saturday, June 3
Harlingen - Friday, June 2
Houston - Thursday, June 1
Houston - Thursday, June 1 and Friday, June 2
Houston - Thursday, June 15
McAllen - Saturday, June 3
McKinney - Saturday, June 10
Mission - Thursday, June 1
San Antonio - Saturday, June 3
San Antonio - Saturday, June 10
 

Volunteer at the Polls

Plano - Plano Area Democrats - Saturday, June 10
 

Write Postcards in Person

Austin - Texas Blue Action Democrats - Tuesday, June 13
Pasadena - Harris County Democrats - Thursdays
   
You can also find volunteer and donation links for the candidates in upcoming runoff and special elections listed below. Elections are sorted by date.
 

June 6th

 
Mike Johnston is running for mayor of Denver, Colorado. You can donate or volunteer. Visit his website, Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube.
 

June 13th

 
Wendy Pieh is running for Maine House of Representatives District 45. You can donate via the Maine Clean Election Act Service! Sign up to canvass! Visit her website, Facebook page, and Instagram!
 

August 3rd

 
Justin Jones is running for Tennessee House of Representatives District 52 after his unfair ouster! You can make a donation, visit his website, Twitter, and Instagram!
 
Lori Love is running for Tennessee House of Representatives District 3. Make a donation! Visit her Linked in, Facebook, or Twitter.
 

November 7th

 
Andy Beshear is running for re-election as Governor of Kentucky. Please donate if you can, or sign up to volunteer! Visit his website, Facebook page, Twitter feed, and Instagram.
 
Pamela Stevenson is running for Kentucky Attorney General. Please volunteer or donate! Take a look at her website, Facebook, and Twitter.
 
Charles “Buddy” Wheatley is running for Kentucky Secretary of State. You can donate or visit his website or Facebook page!
 
Michael Bowman is running for Kentucky Treasurer. Please donate if you are able, or become a volunteer! Check out his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Youtube.
 
Kimberley Reeder is running for Kentucky Auditor of Public Accounts. You can visit her website or donate.
 
Sierra Enlow is running for Kentucky Commissioner of Agriculture. Please donate, volunteer, or attend an event. Visit her website, Facebook, Linked In, and Twitter.
 
Daniel McCaffery is running for Pennsylvania Supreme Court. If you are able, please make a donation or become a volunteer. Take a look at his website, Facebook page, and Instagram.
 
Jill Beck is running for Pennsylvania Superior Court. Please donate to her campaign, or sign up to volunteer. Check out her website, Facebook page, Twitter, and Instagram.
 
Timika Lane is running for Pennsylvania Superior Court. Consider making a donation. Visit her website, Facebook page, and Instagram.
 
Matt Wolf is running for Pennsylvania Commonwealth Court. Check out his website!

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Season 2 Finale
“You look worried Bruce,” my producer jokes, moments before going live. “Even for you.”
This gets a chuckle from the crew.
“Quiet on the set!”
I’m already shaking in my shoes. Not a good sign. Working for the Devil is extremely stressful. And dangerous. And certainly not for the faint of heart. Why I took this gig is beyond me.
(Cue creepy music)
“Going live in five…four…three…”
I get the nod.
(Cut to camera one)
“Greetings Hell Beings and hell raisers. Welcome to the Season 2 finale of….”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
I wave my arms in the air.
The audience jumps to their feet.
Someone heckles.
“Alright. Knock it off.”
I serve up my best game show-host grin. It looks as fake as this cheap Hollywood studio.
“As you probably know, my name is Bruce Davie, and I’m the host of…”
(Cue audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
There’s a disturbance in the audience. A crew member forcefully removes someone. The commotion settles, and I get the go-ahead.
“Phew! A feisty crowd tonight!”
My painted-on smile takes up the entire screen. So does my gleaming bald head.
“Now I know what you’re thinking. What’s the Devil got in store for us this evening?”
The audience rumbles.
I shrug.
“Honestly, I wish I knew!”
This is true. But I’m sure it has something to do with me spending an eternity in Hell. It’s right there in my contract, which runs out after this episode.
(Cut to camera two)
“So, without further ado, let’s bring out tonight’s contestants, shall we?”
The audience roars.
“And yes, you heard me correctly. Tonight, for the first time ever in this show’s defamatory history, we’ve got two contestants!”
Audience is on their feet, whooping and hollering.
(Cut to camera three)
(Cue music)
A middle-aged couple promenade towards the podium. They’re dressed like cowboys, and walk with a sense of purpose.
(Split screen)
“Welcome, both of you.”
More like: Welcome to your funeral.
“Tell us a wee bit about yourselves, why don’t you?”
(Cut to camera four)
The woman speaks first. Her hair is amber, her complexion as pale as light beer.
“Well, Bruce. My name is Tammy. I’m a stay-at-home mom. This here’s my partner, Tex. He owns his own gun shop. We live in Austin Texas, with three beautiful children, who are with us here tonight.”
She points.
(Cut to overhead camera)
Two tall boys and a young girl, each dressed head-to-toe in denim, stand and bow.
The audience applauds.
(Split screen)
The other contestant approaches the microphone. He’s as tall as an ivory tower, with a voice like a banjo.
“Howdy Bruce. Good to be here.”
He tilts his cowboy hat. His square jaw and rugged good looks give Chuck Norris a run for his money.
I salute them.
(Cut to camera two)
“Well then, now that we’re finished with the formalities, I do believe it’s time to…”
(Cue audience)
“BRING OUT THE DEVIL.”
(Cue creepy music)
(Cue pyrotechnics)
The stage fills with fire and brimstone. Pentagrams slice through the air. The Devil appears suddenly, dressed in a shiny new devil suit, tailored specifically for tonight’s show. It’s jet-black, and leaves little to the imagination. His pitchforked tail follows closely behind him as he approaches the podium.
(Cut to Camera five)
The Devil wraps his arms around the two contestants, kisses them both on the cheek.
Tex, clearly perturbed, winces, then grudgingly wipes his cheek.
The Devil snarls, then looks him up and down.
“Looks like everything isn’t bigger in Texas,” the Devil teases. Suddenly, he’s grown over eight-feet tall, and is looming over the tall Texan.
(Cut to camera three)
The bright lights and furious makeup make me look like a cartoon.
“What an exciting night this promises to be!”
Tammy steps forward.
“You bet it is, Bruce. We’ve watched every episode. We just love…”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
(Cut to camera three)
“Of course!” Damion boasts. “This is Hell’s most popular show. And for good reason.”
He slaps the woman’s backside with his tail, then raises his eyebrows mockingly.
The cowboy puffs out his chest, fists clenched, daring him to touch his wife again.
“Woah, easy there pardner.”
Damion nudges Tex.
Tammy is flushed. “Don’t mind Tex. He’s the jealous kind.”
“Oh really?”
Damion’s tail is now shaped like a lasso. With it, he snags Tammy and pulls her close. Her face turns tomato-red.
The cowboy grunts, pulling it off with one strong swoop.
The audience boos.
The Devil snickers.
I feel sick. If this is to be my last episode (or final day on Earth), I don’t want it spoiled by this denim-clad dude whose hat is bigger than his brains, or by Damion, who seems extra feisty tonight. Even for him.
(Cut to camera one)
I clear my throat.
“Tell us, Tammy and Tex…no, tell all of Hell…what it is your beating hearts desire?”
The audience is on the edge of their seats.
(Split screen)
The Texans exchange doubtful looks.
The wife takes charge.
“Well Bruce,” Tammy says. “We don’t want anything that might get us killed. Being from Dallas, we were raised with some common sense.”
The audience hisses.
(Cut to camera five)
The husband steps up.
“That’s right, Bruce. Simply put, we want to be famous for a day. That’s it. Then we can write a book and live off the royalties.”
The audience erupts into a frenzy of catcalls.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil’s eyebrows touch the top of his head. His voice slithers like a snake.
“Is that so?”
My heart plummets. These Texans are flirting with disaster. If they’d stuck to the script, they might be safe. They were supposed to ask for a lifetime’s supply of Super Bowl tickets. Easy-peasy. Who do these cowpokes think they are? Do they really think they can outsmart the Devil?
“Well then,” I say, shakily. “I’m sure Damion can arrange that.”
I raise my arms.
“What does the audience think?”
The audience goes ballistic.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil, still towering over the Texans, leans into the camera.
“Famous, eh?”
His lips smack against his face. When he touches the dude’s shoulder, the cowboy swipes his arm away.
The audience boos. Someone tosses an egg onto the podium, narrowly missing the contestants.
“Woah! Easy does it!” I spurt out.
All hell breaks loose.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The crew gets busy, disposing of both the egg and the agitator.
(Cut to camera one)
I wipe my sweaty forehead.
“Tough crowd.”
The audience hoots.
The Devil sneers.
“SILENCE!”
Flames flash across the room.
People shriek, including me.
(Close up of Damion)
The Devil, boasting his gambler’s grin, turns to the contestants.
“Yes, yes. You WILL be famous. But just for one day.”
The audience roars their approval.
I shudder. Never in all my years, have I felt so much animosity from an audience. I’ll be lucky to make it out alive.
(Split screen)
“Sounds like the Devil has a plan.”
I try to sound cheerful. But cheerfulness is the opposite of how I feel.
(Cut to camera one)
“Tell us Damion…and all of Hell…what you’ve got cooked up?”
The audience leans in.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil winks at Tammy.
“Well, I do believe it’s time for those two cowpokes to become famous. Am I correct?”
The audience jumps to their feet, chanting: “FAMOUS.… FAMOUS…. FAMOUS.…”
(Split screen)
Tammy looks pleased. Her partner, on the other hand, is showing concern. His shoulders are tense, he’s swallowed his bottom lip.
Damion dazzles the audience.
“Famous, y’all shall be.”
He snaps his fingers.
BAM.
The studio goes dark.
Someone in the audience screams.
Tammy gasps.
Tex grunts.
(Cut to camera one)
I shrug.
Is this Damion’s latest trick? Or did they finally cut the power? We give the impression that this show is hugely popular; but in truth, outside of Hell, this show is a dud. Cable and internet companies avoid us like the plague.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The contestants vanish under a cloud of fog.
A flaming pentagram floats across the stage.
“Well, isn’t that just dandy!”
The Devil points to the large screen behind the audience.
“Mister and Missus Cowpoke are about to jump the falls!”
He snaps his fingers, then he disappears.
My legs go weak. My heart is beating irregularly again. I still don’t know he does it. How any of this works. Suddenly, I’m alone on stage, shaking in my fine Italian boots, while the audience grows rowdier by the second.
Cameras mounted on drones are pointed at Tammy and Tex, who are trapped inside a large, steel barrel, with Niagara Falls looming below them.
Damion flies across the falls, lands next to Tammy and Tex. He taps the barrel.
“Ain’t she a beauty?”
The audience hurrahs.
The barrel is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Although it’s huge, and probably weighs a ton, it barely contains the two Texans, who are kicking and screaming, cursing up a storm.
“Get me the hell out of here!” Tammy’s voice rips through the noise of the falls. “NOW!”
Damion frowns.
“You wanted to be famous. Am I right?”
The audience chants, “FAMOUS…. FAMOUS.… FAMOUS….”
Tex pokes his head out of the barrel, cowboy hat and all.
“Now wait one minute, Damion. That’s unfair. We wanted fame. Not death.”
The Devil chuckles.
“The two are synonymous, am I right?”
The audience agrees.
Damion checks his watch.
“Well then…”
He slams the lid shut.
That’s the end of the Texans, as far as I’m concerned.
(Close up of Damion)
“Whatcha think? Should they jump the falls?”
The audience shouts, “JUMP…. JUMP…. JUMP….”
(Cut to camera two)
My insides are melting. I’m petrified. You’d think working with the Devil would get easier over time. You’d be dead wrong.
“Looks like the people have spoken!” I hear myself say.
The audience continues their chant.
(Cut to overhead camera)
“Excellent,” Damion says, fiddling his fingers.
He looks over the cliff, and makes a sour face.
“Wowsers. That’s a long way down!”
“JUMP…. JUMP…. JUMP….”
“And so much water!”
(Cut to camera one)
My worried-sick face appears on the screen.
I straighten up.
“Once they jump, Tam and Tex will surely be famous!”
Except of course, they won’t be famous. Not in this world anyways. They’ve been duped. Why these people sign up to die is beyond me. Perhaps we’ve reached a spectacular level of stupidity in human evolution.
(Cut to overhead camera)
Damion’s lips stretch across his reddened face, his arms flex like a weightlifter.
“I’ll give them a helping hand.”
He rolls the giant barrel to the very edge of the cliff, ignoring the banging and hollering coming from within the steel coffin.
“Tammy, Tex…” His lips stretch into a snarl. “Prepare for fame!”
The audience is on their feet.
Damion shoves the barrel over the edge.
(Split screen)
The barrel tumbles down the falls, disappearing into the fast-moving water.
The audience holds its breath.
(Cut to spy camera)
Inside the barrel, the Texans are shrieking. Their heads and arms and legs collide. Chunks of puke pour across Tammy’s sickening face, who’s calling Tex every name in the book, and it’s a big book. Meanwhile, Tex is like a frog in a blender. His face is green, his nose is broken; blood is leaking from every orifice.
There’s a loud crash as the barrel plunders underwater.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The barrel resurfaces, traveling dangerously downstream.
The audience is back on their feet, fist-pumping.
(Split screen)
What troubles me is how the pedestrians and tourists, crowding the streets, remain oblivious. To them, this is nothing out of the ordinary. Nobody watches, or even takes a pic. I’m starting to suspect foul play. Somehow, Damion is controlling this. He’s using dark magic. A spell. Maybe none of this is real. Except of course, it is real.
(Cut to camera one)
I’m trembling.
“What a jump!” my voice ricochets off the studio walls. “They’ll be famous in no time!”
The audience chants:
“FAMOUS…. FAMOUS…. FAMOUS….”
(Closeup of the Devil)
“Yes, yes. An excellent jump, I must say.”
He peaks over the edge.
“Looks like they could use some help.”
(Cut to overhead camera)
Damion flies towards the barrel, which is bouncing off rocks and debris.
(Cut to spy camera)
Blood. So much blood in such a tight space. Tammy’s hair is in disarray. Her face is beyond repair. Tex swallowed his hat. One of his eyeballs is bouncing like a Superball. His left arm is flapping nonsensically. It isn’t attached.
(Cut to camera four)
The Devil scoops up the barrel, then flies to shore. When his feet touch the ground, he shakes off the water, cat-like, then glares at the camera.
“What a jump!”
He cranks open the lip.
(Split screen)
Tammy spills out. So does Tex’s left arm.
The audience gasps.
Damion applauds.
“Such valor and swagger!”
(Cut to camera five)
Tammy is flopping fish-like, barely clinging to life. Her mouth is full of blood and brains.
The Devil puts his foot on her head.
“SAY CHEESE.”
From out of nowhere, a photographer appears.
SNAP.
Damion, looking pleased with himself, is suddenly holding a newspaper.
(Closeup of newspaper)
The headline splashes across the screen: IDIOTS JUMP THE FALLS.
(Cut to camera four)
Damion shoves the newspaper in front of her face.
“Looks like Tammy and Tex are famous.”
Tammy's eyes twitch. Clearly, she needs medical assistance. I’m surprised she’s still alive. Her husbands brains are splattered across the inside of the barrel.
The very sight of this makes me gag.
Tammy tries to speak, but fails. Her eyes are filled with rage.
Damion tosses the leftover arm into the water, then shrugs.
“Sorry about your hubby.”
(Cut to camera two)
With wobbly knees, I face the audience.
“Looks like the barrel got the best of Tex!”
The audience bellows.
I continue to talk involuntarily.
“Gosh dolly. Look at all that blood!”
“MORE BLOOD…. MORE BLOOD…. MORE BLOOD….”
I find myself chanting along.
Suddenly, my vision blurs. I clutch my chest. Maybe I’ll suffer a heart attack on live TV. Hell waits for no one, I suppose.
(Cut to camera four)
Tammy spits blood on Damion’s boot.
“Devil be damned.” I blurt.
Damion’s face twists into a ball of fury.
“Now, now, Tammy. That wasn’t very nice.”
He crushes her fingers with his boots.
Tammy yelps.
“I was gonna save your long-limbed partner over there,” he points. “Not anymore!”
The audience is bloodthirsty. Paper airplanes and rotten eggs whizz past me. I duck just in time.
(Closeup of contestant)
Tammy’s tongue is leaking from her bloodied face. She’s missing her front teeth. Damion digs his spiky heel deep into her blood-soaked abdomen.
“I reckon you’ll need medical assistance.”
He snaps his fingers.
Suddenly, they're back in the studio.
Damion is as happy as a filthy pig. Next to him is Tammy, who’s caked in blood and gore. Her corpse-of-a-husband spills from the gigantic steel barrel, taking center stage.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The contestant’s children rush the stage. They’re delirious.
The crew hurry out and drag them aside, along with Tammy, who's rushed to the hospital, where she will certainly die.
“Now that’s what I call speedy service!”
My voice appalls me. So does this job. If only I’d listened to my mother, and got into politics.
Damion snaps his finger, then disappears under a plume of dusty smoke.
(Cut to camera one)
“Well, there you have it folks. That’s the last you’ll see of Tammy and Tex. But fret not, they had their moment of fame…in Hell!”
The audience is tossing trash onto the stage.
I narrowly dodge a projectile.
“Hope you’ve enjoyed Season Two as much as I did.”
I hated it.
“And, unless the Devil strikes me down,” and he very-well might, “I hope to see you this Fall, for Season Three of…”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
Season Two
Season One

Season 2 Finale
“You look worried Bruce,” my producer jokes, moments before going live. “Even for you.”
This gets a chuckle from the crew.
“Quiet on the set!”
I’m already shaking in my shoes. Not a good sign. Working for the Devil is extremely stressful. And dangerous. And certainly not for the faint of heart. Why I took this gig is beyond me.
(Cue creepy music)
“Going live in five…four…three…”
I get the nod.
(Cut to camera one)
“Greetings Hell Beings and hell raisers. Welcome to the Season 2 finale of….”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
I wave my arms in the air.
The audience jumps to their feet.
Someone heckles.
“Alright. Knock it off.”
I serve up my best game show-host grin. It looks as fake as this cheap Hollywood studio.
“As you probably know, my name is Bruce Davie, and I’m the host of…”
(Cue audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
There’s a disturbance in the audience. A crew member forcefully removes someone. The commotion settles, and I get the go-ahead.
“Phew! A feisty crowd tonight!”
My painted-on smile takes up the entire screen. So does my gleaming bald head.
“Now I know what you’re thinking. What’s the Devil got in store for us this evening?”
The audience rumbles.
I shrug.
“Honestly, I wish I knew!”
This is true. But I’m sure it has something to do with me spending an eternity in Hell. It’s right there in my contract, which runs out after this episode.
(Cut to camera two)
“So, without further ado, let’s bring out tonight’s contestants, shall we?”
The audience roars.
“And yes, you heard me correctly. Tonight, for the first time ever in this show’s defamatory history, we’ve got two contestants!”
Audience is on their feet, whooping and hollering.
(Cut to camera three)
(Cue music)
A middle-aged couple promenade towards the podium. They’re dressed like cowboys, and walk with a sense of purpose.
(Split screen)
“Welcome, both of you.”
More like: Welcome to your funeral.
“Tell us a wee bit about yourselves, why don’t you?”
(Cut to camera four)
The woman speaks first. Her hair is amber, her complexion as pale as light beer.
“Well, Bruce. My name is Tammy. I’m a stay-at-home mom. This here’s my partner, Tex. He owns his own gun shop. We live in Austin Texas, with three beautiful children, who are with us here tonight.”
She points.
(Cut to overhead camera)
Two tall boys and a young girl, each dressed head-to-toe in denim, stand and bow.
The audience applauds.
(Split screen)
The other contestant approaches the microphone. He’s as tall as an ivory tower, with a voice like a banjo.
“Howdy Bruce. Good to be here.”
He tilts his cowboy hat. His square jaw and rugged good looks give Chuck Norris a run for his money.
I salute them.
(Cut to camera two)
“Well then, now that we’re finished with the formalities, I do believe it’s time to…”
(Cue audience)
“BRING OUT THE DEVIL.”
(Cue creepy music)
(Cue pyrotechnics)
The stage fills with fire and brimstone. Pentagrams slice through the air. The Devil appears suddenly, dressed in a shiny new devil suit, tailored specifically for tonight’s show. It’s jet-black, and leaves little to the imagination. His pitchforked tail follows closely behind him as he approaches the podium.
(Cut to Camera five)
The Devil wraps his arms around the two contestants, kisses them both on the cheek.
Tex, clearly perturbed, winces, then grudgingly wipes his cheek.
The Devil snarls, then looks him up and down.
“Looks like everything isn’t bigger in Texas,” the Devil teases. Suddenly, he’s grown over eight-feet tall, and is looming over the tall Texan.
(Cut to camera three)
The bright lights and furious makeup make me look like a cartoon.
“What an exciting night this promises to be!”
Tammy steps forward.
“You bet it is, Bruce. We’ve watched every episode. We just love…”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
(Cut to camera three)
“Of course!” Damion boasts. “This is Hell’s most popular show. And for good reason.”
He slaps the woman’s backside with his tail, then raises his eyebrows mockingly. The cowboy puffs out his chest, fists clenched, daring him to touch his wife again.
“Woah, easy there pardner.”
Damion nudges Tex.
Tammy is flushed. “Don’t mind Tex. He’s the jealous kind.”
“Oh really?”
Damion’s tail is now shaped like a lasso. With it, he snags Tammy and pulls her close. Her face turns tomato-red.
The cowboy grunts, pulling it off with one strong swoop.
The audience boos.
The Devil snickers.
I feel sick. If this is to be my last episode (or final day on Earth), I don’t want it spoiled by this denim-clad dude whose hat is bigger than his brains, or by Damion, who seems extra feisty tonight. Even for him.
(Cut to camera one)
I clear my throat.
“Tell us, Tammy and Tex…no, tell all of Hell…what it is your beating hearts desire?”
The audience is on the edge of their seats.
(Split screen)
The Texans exchange doubtful looks.
The wife takes charge.
“Well Bruce,” Tammy says. “We don’t want anything that might get us killed. Being from Dallas, we were raised with some common sense.”
The audience hisses.
(Cut to camera five)
The husband steps up.
“That’s right, Bruce. Simply put, we want to be famous for a day. That’s it. Then we can write a book and live off the royalties.”
The audience erupts into a frenzy of catcalls.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil’s eyebrows touch the top of his head. His voice slithers like a snake.
“Is that so?”
My heart plummets. These Texans are flirting with disaster. If they’d stuck to the script, they might be safe. They were supposed to ask for a lifetime’s supply of Super Bowl tickets. Easy-peasy. Who do these cowpokes think they are? Do they really think they can outsmart the Devil?
“Well then,” I say, shakily. “I’m sure Damion can arrange that.”
I raise my arms.
“What does the audience think?”
The audience goes ballistic.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil, still towering over the Texans, leans into the camera.
“Famous, eh?”
His lips smack against his face. When he touches the dude’s shoulder, the cowboy swipes his arm away.
The audience boos. Someone tosses an egg onto the podium, narrowly missing the contestants.
“Woah! Easy does it!” I spurt out.
All hell breaks loose.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The crew gets busy, disposing of both the egg and the agitator.
(Cut to camera one)
I wipe my sweaty forehead.
“Tough crowd.”
The audience hoots.
The Devil sneers.
“SILENCE!”
Flames flash across the room.
People shriek, including me.
(Close up of Damion)
The Devil, boasting his gambler’s grin, turns to the contestants.
“Yes, yes. You WILL be famous. But just for one day.”
The audience roars their approval.
I shudder. Never in all my years, have I felt so much animosity from an audience. I’ll be lucky to make it out alive.
(Split screen)
“Sounds like the Devil has a plan.”
I try to sound cheerful. But cheerfulness is the opposite of how I feel.
(Cut to camera one)
“Tell us Damion…and all of Hell…what you’ve got cooked up?”
The audience leans in.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil winks at Tammy.
“Well, I do believe it’s time for those two cowpokes to become famous. Am I correct?”
The audience jumps to their feet, chanting: “FAMOUS.… FAMOUS…. FAMOUS.…”
(Split screen)
Tammy looks pleased. Her partner, on the other hand, is showing concern. His shoulders are tense, he’s swallowed his bottom lip.
Damion dazzles the audience.
“Famous, y’all shall be.”
He snaps his fingers.
BAM.
The studio goes dark.
Someone in the audience screams.
Tammy gasps.
Tex grunts.
(Cut to camera one)
I shrug.
Is this Damion’s latest trick? Or did they finally cut the power? We give the impression that this show is hugely popular; but in truth, outside of Hell, this show is a dud. Cable and internet companies avoid us like the plague.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The contestants vanish under a cloud of fog.
A flaming pentagram floats across the stage.
“Well, isn’t that just dandy!”
The Devil points to the large screen behind the audience.
“Mister and Missus Cowpoke are about to jump the falls!”
He snaps his fingers, then he disappears.
My legs go weak. My heart is beating irregularly again. I still don’t know he does it. How any of this works. Suddenly, I’m alone on stage, shaking in my fine Italian boots, while the audience grows rowdier by the second.
Cameras mounted on drones are pointed at Tammy and Tex, who are trapped inside a large, steel barrel, with Niagara Falls looming below them.
Damion flies across the falls, lands next to Tammy and Tex.
He taps the barrel.
“Ain’t she a beauty?”
The audience hurrahs.
The barrel is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Although it’s huge, and probably weighs a ton, it barely contains the two Texans, who are kicking and screaming, cursing up a storm.
“Get me the hell out of here!” Tammy’s voice rips through the noise of the falls. “NOW!”
Damion frowns.
“You wanted to be famous. Am I right?”
The audience chants, “FAMOUS…. FAMOUS.… FAMOUS….”
Tex pokes his head out of the barrel, cowboy hat and all.
“Now wait one minute, Damion. That’s unfair. We wanted fame. Not death.”
The Devil chuckles.
“The two are synonymous, am I right?”
The audience agrees.
Damion checks his watch.
“Well then...”
He slams the lid shut.
That’s the end of the Texans, as far as I’m concerned.
(Close up of Damion)
“Whatcha think? Should they jump the falls?”
The audience shouts, “JUMP…. JUMP…. JUMP….”
(Cut to camera two)
My insides are melting. I’m petrified. You’d think working with the Devil would get easier over time. You’d be dead wrong.
“Looks like the people have spoken!” I hear myself say.
The audience continues their chant.
(Cut to overhead camera)
“Excellent,” Damion says, fiddling his fingers.
He looks over the cliff, and makes a sour face.
“Wowsers. That’s a long way down!”
“JUMP…. JUMP…. JUMP....”
“And so much water!”
(Cut to camera one)
My worried-sick face appears on the screen.
I straighten up.
“Once they jump, Tam and Tex will surely be famous!”
Except of course, they won’t be famous. Not in this world anyways. They’ve been duped. Why these people sign up to die is beyond me. Perhaps we’ve reached a spectacular level of stupidity in human evolution.
(Cut to overhead camera)
Damion’s lips stretch across his reddened face, his arms flex like a weightlifter.
“I’ll give them a helping hand.”
He rolls the giant barrel to the very edge of the cliff, ignoring the banging and hollering coming from within the steel coffin.
“Tammy, Tex…” His lips stretch into a snarl. “Prepare for fame!”
The audience is on their feet.
Damion shoves the barrel over the edge.
(Split screen)
The barrel tumbles down the falls, disappearing into the fast-moving water.
The audience holds its breath.
(Cut to spy camera)
Inside the barrel, the Texans are shrieking. Their heads and arms and legs collide. Chunks of puke pour across Tammy’s sickening face, who’s calling Tex every name in the book, and it’s a big book. Meanwhile, Tex is like a frog in a blender. His face is green, his nose is broken; blood is leaking from every orifice.
There’s a loud crash as the barrel plunders underwater.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The barrel resurfaces, traveling dangerously downstream.
The audience is back on their feet, fist-pumping.
(Split screen)
What troubles me is how the pedestrians and tourists, crowding the streets, remain oblivious. To them, this is nothing out of the ordinary. Nobody watches, or even takes a pic. I’m starting to suspect foul play. Somehow, Damion is controlling this. He’s using dark magic. A spell. Maybe none of this is real. Except of course, it is real.
(Cut to camera one)
I’m trembling.
“What a jump!” my voice ricochets off the studio walls. “They’ll be famous in no time!”
The audience chants:
“FAMOUS…. FAMOUS…. FAMOUS….”
(Closeup of the Devil)
“Yes, yes. An excellent jump, I must say.”
He peaks over the edge.
“Looks like they could use some help.”
(Cut to overhead camera)
Damion flies towards the barrel, which is bouncing off rocks and debris.
(Cut to spy camera)
Blood. So much blood in such a tight space. Tammy’s hair is in disarray. Her face is beyond repair. Tex swallowed his hat. One of his eyeballs is bouncing like a Superball. His left arm is flapping nonsensically. It isn’t attached.
(Cut to camera four)
The Devil scoops up the barrel, then flies to shore. When his feet touch the ground, he shakes off the water, cat-like, then glares at the camera.
“What a jump!”
He cranks open the lip.
(Split screen)
Tammy spills out. So does Tex’s left arm.
The audience gasps.
Damion applauds.
“Such valor and swagger!”
(Cut to camera five)
Tammy is flopping fish-like, barely clinging to life. Her mouth is full of blood and brains.
The Devil puts his foot on her head.
“SAY CHEESE.”
From out of nowhere, a photographer appears.
SNAP.
Damion, looking pleased with himself, is suddenly holding a newspaper.
(Closeup of newspaper)
The headline splashes across the screen: IDIOTS JUMP THE FALLS.
(Cut to camera four)
Damion shoves the newspaper in front of her face.
“Looks like Tammy and Tex are famous.”
Tammy's eyes twitch. Clearly, she needs medical assistance. I’m surprised she’s still alive. Her husbands brains are splattered across the inside of the barrel. The very sight of this makes me gag.
Tammy tries to speak, but fails. Her eyes are filled with rage.
Damion tosses the leftover arm into the water, then shrugs.
“Sorry about your hubby.”
(Cut to camera two)
With wobbly knees, I face the audience.
“Looks like the barrel got the best of Tex!”
The audience bellows.
I continue to talk involuntarily.
“Gosh dolly. Look at all that blood!”
“MORE BLOOD…. MORE BLOOD…. MORE BLOOD….”
I find myself chanting along.
Suddenly, my vision blurs. I clutch my chest. Maybe I’ll suffer a heart attack on live TV. Hell waits for no one, I suppose.
(Cut to camera four)
Tammy spits blood on Damion’s boot.
“Devil be damned.” I blurt.
Damion’s face twists into a ball of fury.
“Now, now, Tammy. That wasn’t very nice.”
He crushes her fingers with his boots.
Tammy yelps.
“I was gonna save your long-limbed partner over there,” he points. “Not anymore!”
The audience is bloodthirsty. Paper airplanes and rotten eggs whizz past me. I duck just in time.
(Closeup of contestant)
Tammy’s tongue is leaking from her bloodied face. She’s missing her front teeth. Damion digs his spiky heel deep into her blood-soaked abdomen.
“I reckon you’ll need medical assistance.”
He snaps his fingers.
Suddenly, they're back in the studio.
Damion is as happy as a filthy pig. Next to him is Tammy, who’s caked in blood and gore. Her corpse-of-a-husband spills from the gigantic steel barrel, taking center stage.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The contestant’s children rush the stage. They’re delirious.
The crew hurry out and drag them aside, along with Tammy, who's rushed to the hospital, where she will certainly die.
“Now that’s what I call speedy service!”
My voice appalls me. So does this job. If only I’d listened to my mother, and got into politics.
Damion snaps his finger, then disappears under a plume of dusty smoke.
(Cut to camera one)
“Well, there you have it folks. That’s the last you’ll see of Tammy and Tex. But fret not, they had their moment of fame…in Hell!”
The audience is tossing trash onto the stage.
I narrowly dodge a projectile.
“Hope you’ve enjoyed Season Two as much as I did.”
I hated it.
“And, unless the Devil strikes me down,” and he very-well might, “I hope to see you this Fall, for Season Three of…”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
Season Two
Season One

Looking to transfer my bedroom on a RECENTLY RENEWED lease to a responsible renter at the Palazzo on Wonderworld.
Rent is $1550 split between you and roommate.
No Deposit is required! Only a transfer fee and application fee. End of the day, my deposit is yours.
Hello, I am a texas state Alumni who is relocating to austin. Offering a renewed lease at one of San Marcos’ higher end apartment complexes. Down the block from the fire station and hospitals, easy access to and from highway. At least 4 or 5 police live in the complex as well, including an emergency on call officer for the tenants. Perfect for recent grads imo. My Roommate is great, keeps to himself, is amazing w pets, and is attentive to needs.
Amenities:

• In Unit WasheDryer
• Stainless steel appliances
• Dishwasher
• Bedroom advertised has bathtub
• Pet Friendly
• Balcony w Storage
• Central AC/Heat -Reserved Parking

For more information on community Amenities please use this link:
https://www.thepalazzoliving.com/amenities
If you’d like to come take a look DM me or comment and i’ll be sure to reach out. Also dont hesitate to reach out with any questions! Thank you for your time !

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