I made a character and this sotry for star wars (i made this story for my English finals, i had a month to make it and got an A on it), the characters name is Saya Eban and is a character I have been thinking of for over a decade now (im not in my 2nd decade so since i was super young). Saya at this time is 13-14 years old and was given inspiration by almost all the other jedi and also star killer. He is human and with reliance on the force he can live up to 1000 years with hi peak being between 35, 40 ish to around 800 years of age. In terms of prime power level and potential, in my canon he is 3rd most powerful character just underneath luke and anikan Skywalkers, but could contend with them at some points. Little background: he was a prodigy in school before he became a padawan, he always had an intrest in a character named Ahsoka Tano but never became more than friends because of the Jedi teachings. He was a fast learning youngling and became a padawan earlier than most other younglings, becaming a padawan at the age of 11 - 12. He was in the first battle of Genesis but his troop transport ship was blasted out of the air, landing behind enemy lines leaving him the sole surviver, and scarring him, making him want to never see uneeded bloodshed ever again. He met Count Dooku before he had met Obi-Wan and Anikan on geonosis, he locked blades with him once... once, before he was thrown aside like a house fly, not worth his time, he was out until the retreat of the battle was initiated. This gave him night terrors and nightmares, after this day he could never sleep more than an hour, if that, before he woke up feeling the dark side creeping in. So he had learned to use sleep meditation. Sleep meditation allowed him to accelerate his trainings and connect greater to the force, he had unlocked 1/3 of his life now, the force helping his cells heal his body while he sat and meditated.
This story is of how he lived through one of the bloodiest battles and worst losses of the Republic, the battle of Sarrish, and of how he had obtained his later main star ship, a Kom'rk Mark 1 class star fightetransport, aka the Puro (i made this story before I have watched the 3rd season of the Mandalorian, as of right now i still haven't so Idk if thats in season 3 or not).
There is about 11,340 words in the story, and I don't 100% know of what I should make him look like so have your imaginations run wild.
Ok here we go:
Tales of Saya Eban's Puro
Chapter 1

 The battle of Sarrish was one of the worst battles of the Clone Wars, it was a great devastating loss to the Republic and the Jedi, and I was in the middle of it all. Before the battle I was doing some touch-ups on my A-wing Fighter. I had managed to get my hands on a hyperdrive that would fit in my small fighter, although being able to enter hyperspace without an external hyperdrive wing is very convenient, fast, and easy, it does slow my fighter and hinder some mobility, but not an uncontrollable amount of loss. Little did I know it'd save my life later that week. After I had finished my work, gotten it restocked for my next battle, I was called to the Jedi command center for a briefing by Master Yoda, saying it was an urgent mission and I was needed now, with his backwards way of speaking annoying me slightly. In a flash, I had gathered my battle ready loadout and headed off to the command center. When I entered the command center with the center planning table showing starships from both Confederate and Republic sides, One chasing another. I look and see Masters Yoda and Windu and a holoprojected Obi-Wan Kenobi surrounding the Table, with deeply serious thoughts in their eyes, fingers on their concentrating chins. When I swiftly strolled in, I was greeted with Master Windu's cheerful, but serious voice: "Ah, Padawan Eban, good you're here, come quick, we must act with persistence if we want to gain an upper hand in this war." "Master Windu, good to see you, you too Master Yoda, Master Kenobi, what's the situation?" Master Obi-Wan states, "We are currently chasing Separatist forces to the planet Sarrish and we will need some back up, could you bring your part of the 104th battalion right away, we have heavy casualties and they're going to have reinforcements when they reach the planet." "Is there not anyone closer than me, it may take a few days for me to get there, yall mabe finished by the time I get there!" I said with hope in my eyes. "I'm afraid that you're the only one that is available with the most minimal time of arrival, you'll have to be quick though, it will be anytime now they will reach the planet and have reinforcements. we need this win, it will be a great victory for the Republic if we are able to capture the planet." Stated Obi-Wan with certainty. "All other generals are on missions right as we speak, you are the only one that can provide back up at this current time." Master Windu added "Closer to Knight after this mission you will be, great padawan you are, your great swift improvements, Master Plo is pleased with, believe in you I do." Master Yoda said with a jolly old-man voice. "Now go, there's not much time to waste, gather your men and go help Obi-Wan!" Rushedly said by Master Windu. "With determination in my voice, I yell "Yes Masters, right away!" And like a flash, I was gone. As I'm running off, I catch a glimpse of a green swoosh and the sound of a bolt deflection. I stumble to a stop and put my legs in reverse to give curiosity the wheel. When I peer in, I see Master Skywalker and Ahsoka, along with roughly 8 clone troopers all in a circle around Ahsoka and her one blade ignited. Master Skywalker had her eyes welded to her as he walked around the trooper. I could see Captain Rex standing and watching as well, although he seems to be the only one who spotted me poking in my head. He motioned his finger to his lips as to tell me to shush and not interfere, so I watched with anticipation. And after a lifetime stillness ending in a second after Master Skywalker yelled "START!" And stun doughnuts fire from the blasters of the troopers, sending a volley of blue twords Ahsoka from all directions. With great flexibility I pair with, she jumps into the air, spinning like skates on a skate rink in mid air deflecting all incoming plasmic projectiles landing with swift grace ready for more, And more came, she stands in the center blade moving almost faster than what my eyes could keep up with, until that one bolt punches her right in the back, knocking her to the ground, diminishing the blade back into the hilt. I spring into the room, speaking with worry in my voice when I squeak out "Ahsoka! Master Skywalker, what was that!?" 

"She was just training deflecting blaster fire, she's going to be outmatched a lot in this war, and clones are better than droids to practice with." Anakin said with pride that she was able to last little over a minute, thats improvement.
"Well I guess you're not completely wrong, but your going to give her a brain injury at this rate! Could you not go a bit easier on her?"
"She'll never learn if I go easy on her." Master Skywalker said with little arrogance in his voice.
"W- well, here, l-let me wake her then." I stuttered as I walked up to Rex holding Ahsoka like he's a pillow.
"Rex, do you mind if I-"
"Not at all General, here." Rex said as I sat next to him holding Ahsoka's top half of her body.

 As he caringly sets Ahsoka's rhythmically beating top half in my lap, head facing the heavens, I softly lay my hand over her forehead, close my eyes, and concentrate. A few suspenseful seconds later, I take my hand off and observe Ahsoka's hand softly glide to her now curling forehead, eyes fluttering open. 

With a smile I voiced"Wakey Wakey warrior princess, have a good nap?" Smirking the whole time.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes Nicksters." She groaned with fading pain.
"What are you doing here?" She leisurely grumbled as she started to lie propped up by her desirable, fluorescent orange arms made of flexible muscle.
"I was walking by, and saw a 'damsel in distress', I HAD to come and 'save the day'." I joked, smirking the whole time, annoying her little bit more.
"You know I have been dying to use my force heal on you since I had learned it. I bet you don't even feel bad at all right now hm?" I said leaning in
Ahsoka starts to stand as to get a feel for her own body.
"You're right, I feel better than I did before, not bad for someone named Nicks." Ahsoka said smirking right back at me.
"Oh come on, that was one time, that was even before we became patiwans!" I said with little dramatics in my vocal verberations.
"Ok Master, I'm ready to try again." Ahsoka said to Master Skywalker
"Not now Ahsoka, we have a mission from the Jedi council we have to attend to while Obi-Wan is on his own mission." Anikan said to Ahsoka, elongating his 'not' like he usually does
"I'm actually about to go give help to Obi-Wan right now… WHICH I NEED TO GET PREPARED FOR NOW!! Karabast, got to go! See yah Ahsoka, Master, Rex." And like a ship entering hyperspace, I was gone.
Chapter 2

 After 2 boring days traveling in hyperspace, me and my 5 Veneter class Cruisers are nearing our destination, this would make 12 Cruisers for the Republic side. A new commander CT'-4112 or Zerek, debriefs on the battle situation. As I had sensed, Obi-Wan was outmatched seeing as backup was on planet Sarrish for the fleeing Separatist ships, now it's 11 Munificent class Cruisers and 2 command stations blockading the planet. Kenobi was starting to be pushed back, relying on our Cruisers longer ranged cannons to hope the Sepies didn't get too close. Our Cruisers have longer ranged main canons and toms of fighter room, while the Sepies Cruisers have more fire power at closer ranges with more fighters than our Vendor class Cruisers, at closer ranges, the Sepies would completely destroy a Venetor class Cruiser, but we have strategies and will power. 

"Glad to see a friendly face Saya." Kenobi said exhaustingly.
"Well, it looked like you needed help. You know I need to be the one to save everyone. I'll move into position to fortify our defenses to push the Sepies back and for us to make a plan. What is your fleet's condition?"
"We have 2 Venetors heavily damaged and the rest either have mild to no damage. And we have lost half our fighters as of now." Urgently said by Kenobi.
"Ok, I'm sending men and supplies to you right now, let me take the front so I can take the damage if they send another attack." I calmly said to Kenobi.
"Men battle positions and set all power to front cannons and shields. Venators get into pincer position and get ready for an attack. Fighters get ready to launch." I commanded to all my Cruisers
"Master, if you could, could you add in your undamaged Venetors? " I wandered and directed with much mastery, I even made Obi-Wan himself visually impressed considering my inexperienced mind in life, and especially war. I even managed to make him smile.
"Getting in position now." Obi-Wan stated, still smiling.
"Understood, While you get everything fixed, I'll see if I can weaken their defenses, it seems as if they're in attack positions so we gotta be ready for anything." I said in deep thought.
"Ok, 10 to 13, I like those odds, makes it even, more so for the Sepies." I grinned.
"Now Saya, remember this is still a battle, don't be too cocky, you're starting to remind me of Anakin." Obi-Wan said with conviction.
"Yes Master, sorry about that." I answered to Obi-Wan, pulling back a little.

 Just then, many starfighters come from the enemy Cruisers, hundreds of them lightning fast, closing distance fast. 

"All right men, time for some fun. Obi-Wan, if you want to take command of my control center, I'll lead this fight." I said before Obi-Wan could respond.
"Ok- but Saya! Blast, maybe he's too much like Anikan." Obi-Wan said defeatedly.
As I get into the hangar I yell "Alright Wolfpack, let's get goin!" Then I hop into my modified Jedi A-wing.
We rush out from the center roof door along the Cruiser with my squadron aka The Wolfpack, with me leading my 23 fighters into battle and many more friendly's following from the hangars.
"Ok Wolfpack, let's make a break for them Cruisers, get as many of them gone as possible. 411 you ready?" I asked R2-411. R2-411 bleeps with readiness.
"Ok, time to blow them out of the sky, remember, stay in formation" I commanded.
"Yes sir!" The Clones bellowed.

 Then we hit the swarm with a mighty thundering sound of lasers flying through the emptiness of space seeing one after one of enemy fighter droids dropping all over the place. Me and my Wolfpack fly through all the 2 winged Vulture droids that look like each wing was sideways and has 2 prongs each side for wings. They were way more quick and maneuverable than us, but we had a duty to win, and we won't lose today. It's like a firework show, but you're dodging all the fireworks, and they're aiming right at you. While we are defending the Venator Cruisers, they're mostly firing at the Sepies Cruisers, slowly dwindling their energy shields down. 

"Boys, I have a plan, but I'll need yall to get back to the Cruisers." I urged
"Obi-Wan, how's the 2 heavily damaged Cruisers? We've been out for a long while. They should be good by now right?" I questioned Master Kenobi.
"They're about to come back into the fight, but one of our Cruisers is at a quarter shield, few good hits or bombing runs and it's gone, what's your plan Saya?" Obi-Wan said, perplexed.
"Just give me an opening to the left Separatist control center, that's all I need to get on that ship." I stated with confidence.
"I'll try my best, but don't be stupid Saya, we can't afford to lose you."
"Yeah yeah I know, just get me an opening please Master!" I begged.

 After the words fleeted from my mouth, all the Cruisers fired a hole through the droid fleet with friendly fighters also making way for me to get through. I blast the afterburners straight through the enemy swarm that's been lesson by the commotion, just barely being hidden by smoke from a just destroyed fighter straight into the leftmost control ship hanger landing with an explosive entry. And immediately I jump out, igniting both, my straight emerald green saber in my left, and my yellow saber with a curved hilt similar to the Count's hilt himself in my right. I'll face him again one day, it's inevitable, like me. I land and immediately cut a group of B1 battle droids heads off with my yellow saber facing out, giving me more reach, but as I start to take fire from the army that quickly form from my landing, I swiftly doge left to right almost able to doge the sight of a human eye. Left, pop goes the heads of 3, right, pop goes 5, jump through the air on an almost straight path through the thick of the army, spinning with a light show if one were to be an onlooker at this chaotic organization of flying red plasmic bolts going to a mix of yellow and green, then proceeding to fly straight back at the shooter with twice the velocity. I land on my feet with a thunderous "BOOM" with what seems like an explosion that incinerates half of the whole hanger with an electric yellow glow seeming like yellow lighting exploded from the epicenter of the explosion. When the smoke cleared, it seemed that everything within a 5 meter radius was completely incinerated, and everything within 40 meter radius was heavily damaged, and any technology within eye shot was either scrape or short-circuiting, but all B1 battle droids and super battle droids were out. 

I sighed with relief with little heavy breathing when I looked around me, but with no time to rest, 6 Vulture droid fighters came through the hanger's magnetic shield door, transforming to walk on its pronged wings like they were legs. They scanned me and started raining a flurry of red down onto me, but with my lightning fast reflexes, I raised my sabers to block the incoming hellfire from all six fighter's. Then came the flurry being deflected in any direction possible, and I could just barely see the 6 droids started to surround me by going behind my back, but I ain't done yet. As I'm blocking, jumping, spinning, twisting on a micrometer, I stomp with a mighty force, launching through the air, slowly spinning straight for a Vulture that has became the prey. Bolts whizzing by me, inches, centimeters near my skin, singeing my arm hairs to their roots. I land on top of the droid with a thunderous boom crunching where my foot had landed, driving my sabers straight through the brain of the story high droid, with a counterclockwise rotation around my back, dragging my sabers across the metal of the droid, I leap off the droid landing with the feathers and fly forward with a flashing dash slicing through 2 other droids legs, leaving gravity do its magical job. 3 down, 3 to go, but with little time left. I launch forward running on hairs dipping and dodging blots, I leap up slicing through one leg of a droid and pushing off of its gravity taken hull, coming down on another droid's leg, cutting with ease. I land like a leaf in the autumn skies, and launch with a swift leap, flying my yellow saber straight down the middle of the 6th and final droid with no time to spare.

 I land with caution, ready to fend off another foe, but none came at that second, so I took the opportunity and ran with it straight to where the main reactors should lie. I swiftly sprint with force leaps through the air to get to the reactor, the ship is 270th of a circle with a ball where the command center is, the middle is the only connected between the back of the ball and the inner back of the circle, that's where the reactor is, im at the left most side, may take me a minute to reach it, but I can get there without being seen. My plan was to quickly fix and rewrite a Vulture droid's code to go with my command, not going to be the best work but it will work, hopefully. I had to act fast because I knew there were going to be hundreds more droids to come to see the commotion, I'd say within the minute. The codes used on the droids are not the best, because of mass production, so It was an easy fix, I just needed it to fly a small bit. It comes back to life with a putt to its movement, I directed it to start flying while I'm on its back, putting the whole time with smoke, just what I needed. I start to move forward as fast as possible. As we get around the hundreds of battle droids below, I'm starting to speed up, and as I see the reactor room, I could hear B1's yell " HEY! STOP! YOUR GOING TO FAST" in their robotic voice. Before I hit the Shield covering the reactor room, I jump off to the left where the blast door is for the room. With the distraction of the droid smashing into the shield, I use this time to slowly cut through the blast doors with both sabers starting at the bottom of the door, going up and around to form a circle I can fit through. I was through within a Minute, unnoticed, or so I was led to believe. When I get into the reactor room, I throw explosives all over the reactors, with a detonation in T minus 1 minute. I fly out of the room, calling for 411 to bring my ship as fast as possible, 55. Running across the hanger, I'm spotted by the hundreds of battle droids, which immediately start firing right as they see me 50. The explosion of the fighter droid caused a chain to nearby explosive barrels, exploding more Vulture droids causing tons of smoke and fires to spread around the hangar area, 45. As I'm running, my yellow saber is blocking multiple bolts flying at me while I'm jumping, spinning, performing acrobatic movements while being shot by hundreds of droids, from B1's, to super's, to droideka's, all firing at me, adding to the smoke, 35. Running with young blood in my veins, I perform 1, 2, 3 long jumps and leap onto the side of a slanted destroyed Vulture droid, 30. I jump up, reaching for the cloudy sky just as 411 swoops in predictively shoving my hand into the side of the sharp A-wing hull, 25. I grab the side of the hull and pull myself up into the cockpit, grabbing the controls, 20. I spin to the exit with roughly 67° of the hanger I need to shoot out of, I fire the afterburners using the circumference of the circle and my fighters movment to my advantage, 15. Pushing forward, I am drifting an A-wing around the hangar of a Separatist capital ship skimming the walls centimeters away from an explosive fiery death, 10. I barely screamed out of the hanger, to be able to see a view of the capital ship flying stright for the other Sepie capital ship, 5. Im still firing the afterburners to try and attempt to get a safe distance away from the soon to be collision sight, 4. I let 411 take the control's, 3. I turn my head to look back, 2. I see the collision of the 2 270° hangers, 1. I watch as i get the view of a star being formed right infront of my eyes, and seeing many Sepie Cruisers being absolutely engulfed by the flames, and a blast wave decimating the Vulture droids… blast wave…. BLAST WAVE! Just then I'm thrown far, along with the debri. I manged to gain control of the craft and start performing advanced monuvers to avoid being hit by debrie that will demolishe me and my tiny fighter. 

"Saya, can you hear me? Saya?" Master Obi-Wan Kenobi pleaded.
"Yeah, yeah master, I'm good, I'm fine. Woo…!" I said with a sigh of relief.
Chapter 3

 The explosion had decimated the Separatist forces leaving 4 Cruisers sustaining heavy or mild damages, but with an opening, Obi-Wan and I travel to the ground along with Captain Cody to go for a large ground assault. Master Obi-Wan's plan was to drop in and gather our troops and split them between Obi-Wan and commander Cody. We were west, they were east. The Separatists had the high ground seeing as they had a cliff to their advantage. Flying in on gunships, we were taking heavy fire from their anti aircraft cannons. Commander Cody and I are debriefing the squad on the way to the rally point, seeing gunships after gunship falling to the rocky ground in a fiery explosive ball of red hot metal, and screams, with no plants in sight, just rocks, gunships, and red streaks flying by. Explosions booming right next to us with our doors right open. We have been ordered and ordering troops to stay far away from the mountain top gun fortifying the mountain top of the cliff, leaving that gun for the gunships and the best of the clone troopers, or ARC (Advanced Recon Commandos) troopers to deal with that later, seeing as a ground assault is too dangerous for us. As some of the clones have said, it's not an easy mission, but hops are high. 

"30 seconds until landing." A clone trooper yelled to me and Cody.
Cody starts with "All right, listen up! Maintain squad formations, 'A' squad, You're on me-" ZZZZZEEEROW- BOOOM!
"Where hit!" I yell "Everyone! Hold on!"
Before we hit the ground I leap out of the gunship with a backwards somersault, force pulling all the troops out of the burning fireball heading for the ground, grabbing all of the men, including the 2 pilots at the front, breaking through the windows. I land like rain from the sky, catching the troops I just pulled out with my powers and have them roughly land on the fluffy rocks next to our now downed gunship, no casualties yet. I rush over to take cover under our gunship on its left side behind enemy lines. I sit and meditate as they come up with a plan.
"What's the status lieutenant?" Cody asked
"5 injured thanks to General Saya, but that's not that bad news… Does that Rock look familiar?" The lieutenant asked.
"Yea, the mountain, right where we're not supposed to be." Said Cody
"General Kenobi ordered us not to try taking this section from the ground." The lieutenant regenerated back again with what was already established.
"That's what he said…but what would the general do if he were here?" Cody rhetorically asked.
"Saya sir, what do you think?" A trooper asked me somewhat desperately.
"I think Cody should take this one, I've got your back Cody." I answered with my legs crossed, eyes closed, slightly levitating over the rocks.
"Eight-Eight-Six-Seven through Eight-Eight-Six-Nine and Saya, fix your grapples and come with me. Everybody, prepare for covering fire." Cody ordered.
I get up, eyes still shut, ready to block anything coming our way.
"NOW!" Cody yells, sprinting across what is our no-man's-land
I open my eyes, ignite my Sabers, Green in left, yellow in right, and dash towards the now incoming blaster fire. I sense it, left side, block, right side, deflect, one for Cody, deflected. We get to some stalagmites at the bottom of the mountain, sustaining heavy fire, I pose as a distraction for all the fire, deflecting as many blots as I can back at the metal men. One troop trips and falls, pow, bolt straight through the head. Cody and the men shoot the grappling hooks up towards the top of the mountain and start climbing. I jump from my spot reigniting my sabers, driving them through the mountain side, helping me grab hold with my feet. And when I look up, I see a grapple fall behind me. I tried to grab the rope but I was too late. When I managed to obtain it, he had already hit the ground. Another tragedy, one that never had to happen, life being wasted away. I look up, a droid stairs emotionlessly down into my emotion filled eyes. A blue bolt shoots past me, impacting the droid's head, sending the body backwards.
Cody and the other clone rises from the cliff side as I leap up from the side, landing in front of the clones and immediately start deflecting with my 2 sabers having nothing pass. Cody takes this opportunity to run around my defense and attacks the droids head on, bashing one droid with the butt of his rifle and swinging his rifle at another, destroying both of them. The droid manning the anti aircraft gun turns and aims at Cody. Instinctively I jump in front of the cannon as it fires, I deflect the large bolt away with my right yellow saber, knocking my body to the right, making me stumble. But with the motion throwing me to the right, I use the momentum to throw my green saber with my left hand, impaling the droid in the metal chest. Cody then hops onto the turret, points the gun at the droids firing at our men, and lets loose, destroying all in its reticle.
"Thanks General, I owe you one, ill getcha next time." Cody said slowly getting off the turret.
"You're alright my friend, just pay it forward, let's go see how Obi-Wan did." I slightly worried, staring off to the north.

 We group up at the randevu, where we have set base camp on the planet in a small raven a bit away from where we captured the cliff with some makeshift scouting towers dotted around our position. Obi-Wan had more resistance than what he had anticipated, he was a little banged up, but he was fine in the end. This was a huge victory seeing as we have been able to set base on a planet that allows us to get resources through this hyperspace route and onto parts of the army past this point. Before, General Grievous snipped our route to where we couldn't get resources to our army on the other side from Coruscant. 

Chapter 4

 12 hours later, we have rested and have managed to build up a good base incase of a surprise attack. We are still fighting a few fronts of Separatist holdouts with a fortress a few klicks west, or about 4 miles west. 

I sit in my tent meditating, reflecting back on the weeks events, and what Ahsoka was doing back at the temple, training hard. I recite what I did with an almost overwhelming amount of blaster fire attempting to fly into me, how I was just mostly averting the blots away from me and not in a direction that would benefit me most.
'RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE'

 The ground started to shake out of nowhere, breaking my peace. I rush out of my tent, only to be met with a face full of B2 battle droid. I jump back over my tent flipping onto my feet as I see my tent being lit into flames from heavy bolt fire flying at me. Igniting both my sabers, I deflect the incoming fire away from me up into the sky as much as I physically could. I took a glance around, it was becoming more sunlit as we fought. It was a slaughter, clones dying left and right, Kenobi was on the Command ship getting patched, so it was just me, and the clones down here, being manicured. With a swift right step, I change lightsaber form, combining my form 3, (defensive form blocking anything coming way, and either making, or waiting for an opening to strike) with a combination of form 2 (saber to saber form, putting least amount or saber movement and preferring precise efficient movements) and form 4 (saber from using the force to enhance physical abilities, and heavily utilizing fast acrobatic movements to move around and disorient the opponents, using wide sweeping saber movements to block and hit targets) I use the power if the many bolts to propel my body onto my right leg, crouching down and taking a huge lead in to the air. Looking around like it is moving in stop motion, I see thousands of droids around, completely outnumbering my men. Glancing down where I had jumped from, there seems to be a super battle droid rising from the ground, looking as if it has been there for at least a few days. Time seems to start like normal again, immediately I have to block bolts coming for my body, twisting, turning, deflecting every. single. bolt. right to another droid. I can't have any more unneeded deaths in my hands. I land with an impactful explosion of yellow lighting, rendering half of the electronics on the field obsolete. Shots fire over the wall, exploding near me. 

"Everyone, Retreat!" I yelled into the comms.
I ran towards the lieutenant that I had survived the crash with, he was running for a troop transport.
"Get to the ships, return to the Venators! Get Kenobi and relay what has happened!" Urgency blowing through my voice.

 I push him into the ship as it takes off. As it's doing so, I force push it away from the field as to be in less danger of being shot down. But rockets fly through the air, I reach through the force and grab onto the hurdling death traps, I grab 1, 2, crash them into one another, 3, grab, 4, grab, 5, miss. ERRROW… BOOOM! With a hopeless explosion, the ship bursts into an explosive ball of fire, right in front of my eyes, out of my grasp. Shots fly past my head from behind me, I ignite my sunlit yellow saber to block incoming bolts. No men, only metal remains, and it wants me dead. I dash for my ship on the other side of the airstrip, luckily barely touched from this horrible surprise party that invited everyone I very much dislike. Hopping into my A-wing, I lift-off dogging left, right, up, down, roll left, roll right, barely being passed by on all sides by cannon fire. When I reach the point past the clouds, there's a whole war above. Separatist forces have surprised Kenobi with an overwhelming number of ships, putting our war torn 12 Venators against 16 Munificent class Cruisers. We were greatly out matched. But the time I was in space we had lost 3 Vectors compared to there 1 lost. Droids noticed me coming from the planet and started to verge onto my position. 

"Obi-Wan! You there? Can you hear me?" I yelled, pulling evasive maneuvers.
"Saya, is that you?" Kenobi asked.
"Yes, we got surprised on the ground, seems the same happened here." I rushingly said.
"Yes, they came out of nowh-" Kenobi is cut off by a blaring siren from my cockpit.
"Wait, my ship is damaged, it's starting up my hyperdrive, 411 can you fix it?" I said dipping left and right while trying to stop the hyperdrive activation.
With a few bleeps of fear, I understand what's happening.
"When I was thrown from the capital ship explosive wave, I must have been hit near the hyperdrive, and explosions from my escape, along with the maneuvers I have been pulling, it may have caused damage that is registering a hyperdrive activation. Master Obi-Wan, I don't know, I-I don't know what to do!" I claimed with fear in my eyes.
"Can you deactivate the hyperdrive at all 411?" Kenobi asked
411 bleeps with a sad toon.
"Blast, Saya, does it say where you're going?"
"N- No, my council just says ERROR." I stated, now with much fear in my voice.

 I managed to steer my craft into the position of the hyperspace lane. 

"Tell Ahsoka good bye if I don't-" I get cut off when the the hyperdrive powered up woth a vvvvvvvvvvvVVVVERRRRRRR PEEOW, and just like that, me, my A-wing, and R2-411, are gone.
Chapter 5

 It's been days since the battle, mabe 2 or 3 days. Luckily I always keep many ration bars in my fighter to last me a good few days, along with my extra water and my ability to go into a deep meditative state, conserving food and water. Keeping me company is my meditation and 411. We have almost hit some unknown objects, could have been planets, asteroids, other ships, but we seem to be staying in hyperspace lanes luckily, or I would have been dead a long time ago. My class 2 hyperdrive could have taken me all over the galaxy by now, I could be heading towards Coruscant right now for all I know. 

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
My hyperdrive warning kicked on, showing that there is a massive gravity force in my path. The console flashed with big red dangerous letters "Exiting Hyperdrive" on the screen.
"YES! FINALLY!" I yelled with excitement.

 I watch through the glass to see a barren looking planet, and a similar looking moon, a moon I was heading to. I was moving fast, as I entered the moon's atmosphere, Im grabbing the controls, barely anything. My craft is red hot from the rate at which I'm coming in on. I'm grabbing the stick, pulling back as much as I can, as to try and save myself and 411 from a fiery death. I scraped by a big rocky mountain dealing more damage to my A-wing. 

"HOLD ON 411!"
"Come ooooon. Pull pull pullllll…. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!-" VERRROW BOOOOSH!!! The crash landing sounded like a bomb flying through the air, then landing on its target. I try to get from my seat just to find my strap and window will not open. Using my saber I cut off my seat strap and broke the window from the hinges and leaped out, taking 411 from the craft, swiftly landing on a tall mountainous rock. The craft seemed to have pushed through the land 50 meters from the initial impact spot. The area I was in seemed to be very rocky terrain with many rocky canyons and huge rocks that are almost mountainous. The sun was close to setting down for the night but was still a good hour away from sleeping.

 With the force by my side, I felt a very uneasy sensation telling me to stay out of sight. I duck down on the tall skinny rock taking 411 down with me. 411 confusingly bleeps when I do so. "Hey, I have a feeling right now, just keep quiet real quick, there's somebody coming. Trust me." Me and 411 peer over the edge looming over my crashed ship just as a group of 6 men in full armor covering their whole body fly in with jetpacks strapped to their backs, blasters in hand. As they land, they search around my wreckage, presumably looking for survivors. One seems to be ordering the others around, pointing at one to look in one direction, another a different direction, and scanning around for the unexpected visitor. I look down at my Wrist link, my distress signal wasn't sent, I guess that was damaged from entering the planet at such high speed with no deflector shields surrounding the ship like a protective blanket. 

"Blast, 411, what's your S.O.S signal situation, did it go through?" 411 beeps with a little drama like I should know it didn't go through.
"Well sorry for busting your rusty bolts you rowdy rancor, better to try than to just give up mister sassy pants. Maybe I should wipe your memory for a change, see how you like it."
"Now shush, don't want them to find us spying on them, won't look too good." I demand. "Now here, in case we get caught, I don't want them to know I'm a Jedi, so here, take my sabers, I'm not gonna need them anyways." I said shoving my lightsabers into 411's storage compartment and looking towards the crash again.

 Just then the suit of armor that had been commanding his squad bursts up into my view right on my face out of hyperspace blue. 

"Ah, found ya trespassers, you 2 are coming with me." Demanded the Mandalorian with a snickering sound in his voice as the others rise from the portal of the abyss from down below.

 It was a good thing my ropes where in the tent back on Sarrish, or this may have been an even worse situation, Mangalorians like them hate Jedi with a passion, and it's a good thing I always have a broken blaster in 411 for any cases where I need to blend in with a crowd or pose as a normal civilian; although, the ability to become a civilian at any point is great, I've had little need to do so much. I'm quite popular with the people for being one who tries to connect with the population as a fellow citizen. So I rarely stay in the temple for too long. I love being with the people and learning skills without the force, like being a mechanic, electrician, public speaker, security guard, an all around great person to talk with about anything. I'm quite known on all levels of Coruscant for being one of the most friendly Jedi to be around. Right now though, I need to focus on not being caught, at least That's what my gut is telling me. After they searched my character for any weapons and found the broken blaster that 411 had put in my holster where my lightsaber usually is, they were satisfied and pushed us into one of their big Kom'rk Mark 1 class Mandalorian starfightetransport ship. 

(Look in comments for 6th)

I made a character and this sotry for star wars (i made this story for my English finals, i had a month to make it and got an A on it), the characters name is Saya Eban and is a character I have been thinking of for over a decade now (im not in my 2nd decade so since i was super young). Saya at this time is 13-14 years old and was given inspiration by almost all the other jedi and also star killer. He is human and with reliance on the force he can live up to 1000 years with hi peak being between 35, 40 ish to around 800 years of age. In terms of prime power level and potential, in my canon he is 3rd most powerful character just underneath luke and anikan Skywalkers, but could contend with them at some points. Little background: he was a prodigy in school before he became a padawan, he always had an intrest in a character named Ahsoka Tano but never became more than friends because of the Jedi teachings. He was a fast learning youngling and became a padawan earlier than most other younglings, becaming a padawan at the age of 11 - 12. He was in the first battle of Genesis but his troop transport ship was blasted out of the air, landing behind enemy lines leaving him the sole surviver, and scarring him, making him want to never see uneeded bloodshed ever again. He met Count Dooku before he had met Obi-Wan and Anikan on geonosis, he locked blades with him once... once, before he was thrown aside like a house fly, not worth his time, he was out until the retreat of the battle was initiated. This gave him night terrors and nightmares, after this day he could never sleep more than an hour, if that, before he woke up feeling the dark side creeping in. So he had learned to use sleep meditation. Sleep meditation allowed him to accelerate his trainings and connect greater to the force, he had unlocked 1/3 of his life now, the force helping his cells heal his body while he sat and meditated.
This story is of how he lived through one of the bloodiest battles and worst losses of the Republic, the battle of Sarrish, and of how he had obtained his later main star ship, a Kom'rk Mark 1 class star fightetransport, aka the Puro (i made this story before I have watched the 3rd season of the Mandalorian, as of right now i still haven't so Idk if thats in season 3 or not).
There is about 11,340 words in the story, and I don't 100% know of what I should make him look like so have your imaginations run wild.
Ok here we go:
Tales of Saya Eban's Puro
Chapter 1

 The battle of Sarrish was one of the worst battles of the Clone Wars, it was a great devastating loss to the Republic and the Jedi, and I was in the middle of it all. Before the battle I was doing some touch-ups on my A-wing Fighter. I had managed to get my hands on a hyperdrive that would fit in my small fighter, although being able to enter hyperspace without an external hyperdrive wing is very convenient, fast, and easy, it does slow my fighter and hinder some mobility, but not an uncontrollable amount of loss. Little did I know it'd save my life later that week. After I had finished my work, gotten it restocked for my next battle, I was called to the Jedi command center for a briefing by Master Yoda, saying it was an urgent mission and I was needed now, with his backwards way of speaking annoying me slightly. In a flash, I had gathered my battle ready loadout and headed off to the command center. When I entered the command center with the center planning table showing starships from both Confederate and Republic sides, One chasing another. I look and see Masters Yoda and Windu and a holoprojected Obi-Wan Kenobi surrounding the Table, with deeply serious thoughts in their eyes, fingers on their concentrating chins. When I swiftly strolled in, I was greeted with Master Windu's cheerful, but serious voice: "Ah, Padawan Eban, good you're here, come quick, we must act with persistence if we want to gain an upper hand in this war." "Master Windu, good to see you, you too Master Yoda, Master Kenobi, what's the situation?" Master Obi-Wan states, "We are currently chasing Separatist forces to the planet Sarrish and we will need some back up, could you bring your part of the 104th battalion right away, we have heavy casualties and they're going to have reinforcements when they reach the planet." "Is there not anyone closer than me, it may take a few days for me to get there, yall mabe finished by the time I get there!" I said with hope in my eyes. "I'm afraid that you're the only one that is available with the most minimal time of arrival, you'll have to be quick though, it will be anytime now they will reach the planet and have reinforcements. we need this win, it will be a great victory for the Republic if we are able to capture the planet." Stated Obi-Wan with certainty. "All other generals are on missions right as we speak, you are the only one that can provide back up at this current time." Master Windu added "Closer to Knight after this mission you will be, great padawan you are, your great swift improvements, Master Plo is pleased with, believe in you I do." Master Yoda said with a jolly old-man voice. "Now go, there's not much time to waste, gather your men and go help Obi-Wan!" Rushedly said by Master Windu. "With determination in my voice, I yell "Yes Masters, right away!" And like a flash, I was gone. As I'm running off, I catch a glimpse of a green swoosh and the sound of a bolt deflection. I stumble to a stop and put my legs in reverse to give curiosity the wheel. When I peer in, I see Master Skywalker and Ahsoka, along with roughly 8 clone troopers all in a circle around Ahsoka and her one blade ignited. Master Skywalker had her eyes welded to her as he walked around the trooper. I could see Captain Rex standing and watching as well, although he seems to be the only one who spotted me poking in my head. He motioned his finger to his lips as to tell me to shush and not interfere, so I watched with anticipation. And after a lifetime stillness ending in a second after Master Skywalker yelled "START!" And stun doughnuts fire from the blasters of the troopers, sending a volley of blue twords Ahsoka from all directions. With great flexibility I pair with, she jumps into the air, spinning like skates on a skate rink in mid air deflecting all incoming plasmic projectiles landing with swift grace ready for more, And more came, she stands in the center blade moving almost faster than what my eyes could keep up with, until that one bolt punches her right in the back, knocking her to the ground, diminishing the blade back into the hilt. I spring into the room, speaking with worry in my voice when I squeak out "Ahsoka! Master Skywalker, what was that!?" 

"She was just training deflecting blaster fire, she's going to be outmatched a lot in this war, and clones are better than droids to practice with." Anakin said with pride that she was able to last little over a minute, thats improvement.
"Well I guess you're not completely wrong, but your going to give her a brain injury at this rate! Could you not go a bit easier on her?"
"She'll never learn if I go easy on her." Master Skywalker said with little arrogance in his voice.
"W- well, here, l-let me wake her then." I stuttered as I walked up to Rex holding Ahsoka like he's a pillow.
"Rex, do you mind if I-"
"Not at all General, here." Rex said as I sat next to him holding Ahsoka's top half of her body.

 As he caringly sets Ahsoka's rhythmically beating top half in my lap, head facing the heavens, I softly lay my hand over her forehead, close my eyes, and concentrate. A few suspenseful seconds later, I take my hand off and observe Ahsoka's hand softly glide to her now curling forehead, eyes fluttering open. 

With a smile I voiced"Wakey Wakey warrior princess, have a good nap?" Smirking the whole time.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes Nicksters." She groaned with fading pain.
"What are you doing here?" She leisurely grumbled as she started to lie propped up by her desirable, fluorescent orange arms made of flexible muscle.
"I was walking by, and saw a 'damsel in distress', I HAD to come and 'save the day'." I joked, smirking the whole time, annoying her little bit more.
"You know I have been dying to use my force heal on you since I had learned it. I bet you don't even feel bad at all right now hm?" I said leaning in
Ahsoka starts to stand as to get a feel for her own body.
"You're right, I feel better than I did before, not bad for someone named Nicks." Ahsoka said smirking right back at me.
"Oh come on, that was one time, that was even before we became patiwans!" I said with little dramatics in my vocal verberations.
"Ok Master, I'm ready to try again." Ahsoka said to Master Skywalker
"Not now Ahsoka, we have a mission from the Jedi council we have to attend to while Obi-Wan is on his own mission." Anikan said to Ahsoka, elongating his 'not' like he usually does
"I'm actually about to go give help to Obi-Wan right now… WHICH I NEED TO GET PREPARED FOR NOW!! Karabast, got to go! See yah Ahsoka, Master, Rex." And like a ship entering hyperspace, I was gone.
Chapter 2

 After 2 boring days traveling in hyperspace, me and my 5 Veneter class Cruisers are nearing our destination, this would make 12 Cruisers for the Republic side. A new commander CT'-4112 or Zerek, debriefs on the battle situation. As I had sensed, Obi-Wan was outmatched seeing as backup was on planet Sarrish for the fleeing Separatist ships, now it's 11 Munificent class Cruisers and 2 command stations blockading the planet. Kenobi was starting to be pushed back, relying on our Cruisers longer ranged cannons to hope the Sepies didn't get too close. Our Cruisers have longer ranged main canons and toms of fighter room, while the Sepies Cruisers have more fire power at closer ranges with more fighters than our Vendor class Cruisers, at closer ranges, the Sepies would completely destroy a Venetor class Cruiser, but we have strategies and will power. 

"Glad to see a friendly face Saya." Kenobi said exhaustingly.
"Well, it looked like you needed help. You know I need to be the one to save everyone. I'll move into position to fortify our defenses to push the Sepies back and for us to make a plan. What is your fleet's condition?"
"We have 2 Venetors heavily damaged and the rest either have mild to no damage. And we have lost half our fighters as of now." Urgently said by Kenobi.
"Ok, I'm sending men and supplies to you right now, let me take the front so I can take the damage if they send another attack." I calmly said to Kenobi.
"Men battle positions and set all power to front cannons and shields. Venators get into pincer position and get ready for an attack. Fighters get ready to launch." I commanded to all my Cruisers
"Master, if you could, could you add in your undamaged Venetors? " I wandered and directed with much mastery, I even made Obi-Wan himself visually impressed considering my inexperienced mind in life, and especially war. I even managed to make him smile.
"Getting in position now." Obi-Wan stated, still smiling.
"Understood, While you get everything fixed, I'll see if I can weaken their defenses, it seems as if they're in attack positions so we gotta be ready for anything." I said in deep thought.
"Ok, 10 to 13, I like those odds, makes it even, more so for the Sepies." I grinned.
"Now Saya, remember this is still a battle, don't be too cocky, you're starting to remind me of Anakin." Obi-Wan said with conviction.
"Yes Master, sorry about that." I answered to Obi-Wan, pulling back a little.

 Just then, many starfighters come from the enemy Cruisers, hundreds of them lightning fast, closing distance fast. 

"All right men, time for some fun. Obi-Wan, if you want to take command of my control center, I'll lead this fight." I said before Obi-Wan could respond.
"Ok- but Saya! Blast, maybe he's too much like Anikan." Obi-Wan said defeatedly.
As I get into the hangar I yell "Alright Wolfpack, let's get goin!" Then I hop into my modified Jedi A-wing.
We rush out from the center roof door along the Cruiser with my squadron aka The Wolfpack, with me leading my 23 fighters into battle and many more friendly's following from the hangars.
"Ok Wolfpack, let's make a break for them Cruisers, get as many of them gone as possible. 411 you ready?" I asked R2-411. R2-411 bleeps with readiness.
"Ok, time to blow them out of the sky, remember, stay in formation" I commanded.
"Yes sir!" The Clones bellowed.

 Then we hit the swarm with a mighty thundering sound of lasers flying through the emptiness of space seeing one after one of enemy fighter droids dropping all over the place. Me and my Wolfpack fly through all the 2 winged Vulture droids that look like each wing was sideways and has 2 prongs each side for wings. They were way more quick and maneuverable than us, but we had a duty to win, and we won't lose today. It's like a firework show, but you're dodging all the fireworks, and they're aiming right at you. While we are defending the Venator Cruisers, they're mostly firing at the Sepies Cruisers, slowly dwindling their energy shields down. 

"Boys, I have a plan, but I'll need yall to get back to the Cruisers." I urged
"Obi-Wan, how's the 2 heavily damaged Cruisers? We've been out for a long while. They should be good by now right?" I questioned Master Kenobi.
"They're about to come back into the fight, but one of our Cruisers is at a quarter shield, few good hits or bombing runs and it's gone, what's your plan Saya?" Obi-Wan said, perplexed.
"Just give me an opening to the left Separatist control center, that's all I need to get on that ship." I stated with confidence.
"I'll try my best, but don't be stupid Saya, we can't afford to lose you."
"Yeah yeah I know, just get me an opening please Master!" I begged.

 After the words fleeted from my mouth, all the Cruisers fired a hole through the droid fleet with friendly fighters also making way for me to get through. I blast the afterburners straight through the enemy swarm that's been lesson by the commotion, just barely being hidden by smoke from a just destroyed fighter straight into the leftmost control ship hanger landing with an explosive entry. And immediately I jump out, igniting both, my straight emerald green saber in my left, and my yellow saber with a curved hilt similar to the Count's hilt himself in my right. I'll face him again one day, it's inevitable, like me. I land and immediately cut a group of B1 battle droids heads off with my yellow saber facing out, giving me more reach, but as I start to take fire from the army that quickly form from my landing, I swiftly doge left to right almost able to doge the sight of a human eye. Left, pop goes the heads of 3, right, pop goes 5, jump through the air on an almost straight path through the thick of the army, spinning with a light show if one were to be an onlooker at this chaotic organization of flying red plasmic bolts going to a mix of yellow and green, then proceeding to fly straight back at the shooter with twice the velocity. I land on my feet with a thunderous "BOOM" with what seems like an explosion that incinerates half of the whole hanger with an electric yellow glow seeming like yellow lighting exploded from the epicenter of the explosion. When the smoke cleared, it seemed that everything within a 5 meter radius was completely incinerated, and everything within 40 meter radius was heavily damaged, and any technology within eye shot was either scrape or short-circuiting, but all B1 battle droids and super battle droids were out. 

I sighed with relief with little heavy breathing when I looked around me, but with no time to rest, 6 Vulture droid fighters came through the hanger's magnetic shield door, transforming to walk on its pronged wings like they were legs. They scanned me and started raining a flurry of red down onto me, but with my lightning fast reflexes, I raised my sabers to block the incoming hellfire from all six fighter's. Then came the flurry being deflected in any direction possible, and I could just barely see the 6 droids started to surround me by going behind my back, but I ain't done yet. As I'm blocking, jumping, spinning, twisting on a micrometer, I stomp with a mighty force, launching through the air, slowly spinning straight for a Vulture that has became the prey. Bolts whizzing by me, inches, centimeters near my skin, singeing my arm hairs to their roots. I land on top of the droid with a thunderous boom crunching where my foot had landed, driving my sabers straight through the brain of the story high droid, with a counterclockwise rotation around my back, dragging my sabers across the metal of the droid, I leap off the droid landing with the feathers and fly forward with a flashing dash slicing through 2 other droids legs, leaving gravity do its magical job. 3 down, 3 to go, but with little time left. I launch forward running on hairs dipping and dodging blots, I leap up slicing through one leg of a droid and pushing off of its gravity taken hull, coming down on another droid's leg, cutting with ease. I land like a leaf in the autumn skies, and launch with a swift leap, flying my yellow saber straight down the middle of the 6th and final droid with no time to spare.

 I land with caution, ready to fend off another foe, but none came at that second, so I took the opportunity and ran with it straight to where the main reactors should lie. I swiftly sprint with force leaps through the air to get to the reactor, the ship is 270th of a circle with a ball where the command center is, the middle is the only connected between the back of the ball and the inner back of the circle, that's where the reactor is, im at the left most side, may take me a minute to reach it, but I can get there without being seen. My plan was to quickly fix and rewrite a Vulture droid's code to go with my command, not going to be the best work but it will work, hopefully. I had to act fast because I knew there were going to be hundreds more droids to come to see the commotion, I'd say within the minute. The codes used on the droids are not the best, because of mass production, so It was an easy fix, I just needed it to fly a small bit. It comes back to life with a putt to its movement, I directed it to start flying while I'm on its back, putting the whole time with smoke, just what I needed. I start to move forward as fast as possible. As we get around the hundreds of battle droids below, I'm starting to speed up, and as I see the reactor room, I could hear B1's yell " HEY! STOP! YOUR GOING TO FAST" in their robotic voice. Before I hit the Shield covering the reactor room, I jump off to the left where the blast door is for the room. With the distraction of the droid smashing into the shield, I use this time to slowly cut through the blast doors with both sabers starting at the bottom of the door, going up and around to form a circle I can fit through. I was through within a Minute, unnoticed, or so I was led to believe. When I get into the reactor room, I throw explosives all over the reactors, with a detonation in T minus 1 minute. I fly out of the room, calling for 411 to bring my ship as fast as possible, 55. Running across the hanger, I'm spotted by the hundreds of battle droids, which immediately start firing right as they see me 50. The explosion of the fighter droid caused a chain to nearby explosive barrels, exploding more Vulture droids causing tons of smoke and fires to spread around the hangar area, 45. As I'm running, my yellow saber is blocking multiple bolts flying at me while I'm jumping, spinning, performing acrobatic movements while being shot by hundreds of droids, from B1's, to super's, to droideka's, all firing at me, adding to the smoke, 35. Running with young blood in my veins, I perform 1, 2, 3 long jumps and leap onto the side of a slanted destroyed Vulture droid, 30. I jump up, reaching for the cloudy sky just as 411 swoops in predictively shoving my hand into the side of the sharp A-wing hull, 25. I grab the side of the hull and pull myself up into the cockpit, grabbing the controls, 20. I spin to the exit with roughly 67° of the hanger I need to shoot out of, I fire the afterburners using the circumference of the circle and my fighters movment to my advantage, 15. Pushing forward, I am drifting an A-wing around the hangar of a Separatist capital ship skimming the walls centimeters away from an explosive fiery death, 10. I barely screamed out of the hanger, to be able to see a view of the capital ship flying stright for the other Sepie capital ship, 5. Im still firing the afterburners to try and attempt to get a safe distance away from the soon to be collision sight, 4. I let 411 take the control's, 3. I turn my head to look back, 2. I see the collision of the 2 270° hangers, 1. I watch as i get the view of a star being formed right infront of my eyes, and seeing many Sepie Cruisers being absolutely engulfed by the flames, and a blast wave decimating the Vulture droids… blast wave…. BLAST WAVE! Just then I'm thrown far, along with the debri. I manged to gain control of the craft and start performing advanced monuvers to avoid being hit by debrie that will demolishe me and my tiny fighter. 

"Saya, can you hear me? Saya?" Master Obi-Wan Kenobi pleaded.
"Yeah, yeah master, I'm good, I'm fine. Woo…!" I said with a sigh of relief.
Chapter 3

 The explosion had decimated the Separatist forces leaving 4 Cruisers sustaining heavy or mild damages, but with an opening, Obi-Wan and I travel to the ground along with Captain Cody to go for a large ground assault. Master Obi-Wan's plan was to drop in and gather our troops and split them between Obi-Wan and commander Cody. We were west, they were east. The Separatists had the high ground seeing as they had a cliff to their advantage. Flying in on gunships, we were taking heavy fire from their anti aircraft cannons. Commander Cody and I are debriefing the squad on the way to the rally point, seeing gunships after gunship falling to the rocky ground in a fiery explosive ball of red hot metal, and screams, with no plants in sight, just rocks, gunships, and red streaks flying by. Explosions booming right next to us with our doors right open. We have been ordered and ordering troops to stay far away from the mountain top gun fortifying the mountain top of the cliff, leaving that gun for the gunships and the best of the clone troopers, or ARC (Advanced Recon Commandos) troopers to deal with that later, seeing as a ground assault is too dangerous for us. As some of the clones have said, it's not an easy mission, but hops are high. 

"30 seconds until landing." A clone trooper yelled to me and Cody.
Cody starts with "All right, listen up! Maintain squad formations, 'A' squad, You're on me-" ZZZZZEEEROW- BOOOM!
"Where hit!" I yell "Everyone! Hold on!"
Before we hit the ground I leap out of the gunship with a backwards somersault, force pulling all the troops out of the burning fireball heading for the ground, grabbing all of the men, including the 2 pilots at the front, breaking through the windows. I land like rain from the sky, catching the troops I just pulled out with my powers and have them roughly land on the fluffy rocks next to our now downed gunship, no casualties yet. I rush over to take cover under our gunship on its left side behind enemy lines. I sit and meditate as they come up with a plan.
"What's the status lieutenant?" Cody asked
"5 injured thanks to General Saya, but that's not that bad news… Does that Rock look familiar?" The lieutenant asked.
"Yea, the mountain, right where we're not supposed to be." Said Cody
"General Kenobi ordered us not to try taking this section from the ground." The lieutenant regenerated back again with what was already established.
"That's what he said…but what would the general do if he were here?" Cody rhetorically asked.
"Saya sir, what do you think?" A trooper asked me somewhat desperately.
"I think Cody should take this one, I've got your back Cody." I answered with my legs crossed, eyes closed, slightly levitating over the rocks.
"Eight-Eight-Six-Seven through Eight-Eight-Six-Nine and Saya, fix your grapples and come with me. Everybody, prepare for covering fire." Cody ordered.
I get up, eyes still shut, ready to block anything coming our way.
"NOW!" Cody yells, sprinting across what is our no-man's-land
I open my eyes, ignite my Sabers, Green in left, yellow in right, and dash towards the now incoming blaster fire. I sense it, left side, block, right side, deflect, one for Cody, deflected. We get to some stalagmites at the bottom of the mountain, sustaining heavy fire, I pose as a distraction for all the fire, deflecting as many blots as I can back at the metal men. One troop trips and falls, pow, bolt straight through the head. Cody and the men shoot the grappling hooks up towards the top of the mountain and start climbing. I jump from my spot reigniting my sabers, driving them through the mountain side, helping me grab hold with my feet. And when I look up, I see a grapple fall behind me. I tried to grab the rope but I was too late. When I managed to obtain it, he had already hit the ground. Another tragedy, one that never had to happen, life being wasted away. I look up, a droid stairs emotionlessly down into my emotion filled eyes. A blue bolt shoots past me, impacting the droid's head, sending the body backwards.
Cody and the other clone rises from the cliff side as I leap up from the side, landing in front of the clones and immediately start deflecting with my 2 sabers having nothing pass. Cody takes this opportunity to run around my defense and attacks the droids head on, bashing one droid with the butt of his rifle and swinging his rifle at another, destroying both of them. The droid manning the anti aircraft gun turns and aims at Cody. Instinctively I jump in front of the cannon as it fires, I deflect the large bolt away with my right yellow saber, knocking my body to the right, making me stumble. But with the motion throwing me to the right, I use the momentum to throw my green saber with my left hand, impaling the droid in the metal chest. Cody then hops onto the turret, points the gun at the droids firing at our men, and lets loose, destroying all in its reticle.
"Thanks General, I owe you one, ill getcha next time." Cody said slowly getting off the turret.
"You're alright my friend, just pay it forward, let's go see how Obi-Wan did." I slightly worried, staring off to the north.

 We group up at the randevu, where we have set base camp on the planet in a small raven a bit away from where we captured the cliff with some makeshift scouting towers dotted around our position. Obi-Wan had more resistance than what he had anticipated, he was a little banged up, but he was fine in the end. This was a huge victory seeing as we have been able to set base on a planet that allows us to get resources through this hyperspace route and onto parts of the army past this point. Before, General Grievous snipped our route to where we couldn't get resources to our army on the other side from Coruscant. 

Chapter 4

 12 hours later, we have rested and have managed to build up a good base incase of a surprise attack. We are still fighting a few fronts of Separatist holdouts with a fortress a few klicks west, or about 4 miles west. 

I sit in my tent meditating, reflecting back on the weeks events, and what Ahsoka was doing back at the temple, training hard. I recite what I did with an almost overwhelming amount of blaster fire attempting to fly into me, how I was just mostly averting the blots away from me and not in a direction that would benefit me most.
'RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE'

 The ground started to shake out of nowhere, breaking my peace. I rush out of my tent, only to be met with a face full of B2 battle droid. I jump back over my tent flipping onto my feet as I see my tent being lit into flames from heavy bolt fire flying at me. Igniting both my sabers, I deflect the incoming fire away from me up into the sky as much as I physically could. I took a glance around, it was becoming more sunlit as we fought. It was a slaughter, clones dying left and right, Kenobi was on the Command ship getting patched, so it was just me, and the clones down here, being manicured. With a swift right step, I change lightsaber form, combining my form 3, (defensive form blocking anything coming way, and either making, or waiting for an opening to strike) with a combination of form 2 (saber to saber form, putting least amount or saber movement and preferring precise efficient movements) and form 4 (saber from using the force to enhance physical abilities, and heavily utilizing fast acrobatic movements to move around and disorient the opponents, using wide sweeping saber movements to block and hit targets) I use the power if the many bolts to propel my body onto my right leg, crouching down and taking a huge lead in to the air. Looking around like it is moving in stop motion, I see thousands of droids around, completely outnumbering my men. Glancing down where I had jumped from, there seems to be a super battle droid rising from the ground, looking as if it has been there for at least a few days. Time seems to start like normal again, immediately I have to block bolts coming for my body, twisting, turning, deflecting every. single. bolt. right to another droid. I can't have any more unneeded deaths in my hands. I land with an impactful explosion of yellow lighting, rendering half of the electronics on the field obsolete. Shots fire over the wall, exploding near me. 

"Everyone, Retreat!" I yelled into the comms.
I ran towards the lieutenant that I had survived the crash with, he was running for a troop transport.
"Get to the ships, return to the Venators! Get Kenobi and relay what has happened!" Urgency blowing through my voice.

 I push him into the ship as it takes off. As it's doing so, I force push it away from the field as to be in less danger of being shot down. But rockets fly through the air, I reach through the force and grab onto the hurdling death traps, I grab 1, 2, crash them into one another, 3, grab, 4, grab, 5, miss. ERRROW… BOOOM! With a hopeless explosion, the ship bursts into an explosive ball of fire, right in front of my eyes, out of my grasp. Shots fly past my head from behind me, I ignite my sunlit yellow saber to block incoming bolts. No men, only metal remains, and it wants me dead. I dash for my ship on the other side of the airstrip, luckily barely touched from this horrible surprise party that invited everyone I very much dislike. Hopping into my A-wing, I lift-off dogging left, right, up, down, roll left, roll right, barely being passed by on all sides by cannon fire. When I reach the point past the clouds, there's a whole war above. Separatist forces have surprised Kenobi with an overwhelming number of ships, putting our war torn 12 Venators against 16 Munificent class Cruisers. We were greatly out matched. But the time I was in space we had lost 3 Vectors compared to there 1 lost. Droids noticed me coming from the planet and started to verge onto my position. 

"Obi-Wan! You there? Can you hear me?" I yelled, pulling evasive maneuvers.
"Saya, is that you?" Kenobi asked.
"Yes, we got surprised on the ground, seems the same happened here." I rushingly said.
"Yes, they came out of nowh-" Kenobi is cut off by a blaring siren from my cockpit.
"Wait, my ship is damaged, it's starting up my hyperdrive, 411 can you fix it?" I said dipping left and right while trying to stop the hyperdrive activation.
With a few bleeps of fear, I understand what's happening.
"When I was thrown from the capital ship explosive wave, I must have been hit near the hyperdrive, and explosions from my escape, along with the maneuvers I have been pulling, it may have caused damage that is registering a hyperdrive activation. Master Obi-Wan, I don't know, I-I don't know what to do!" I claimed with fear in my eyes.
"Can you deactivate the hyperdrive at all 411?" Kenobi asked
411 bleeps with a sad toon.
"Blast, Saya, does it say where you're going?"
"N- No, my council just says ERROR." I stated, now with much fear in my voice.

 I managed to steer my craft into the position of the hyperspace lane. 

"Tell Ahsoka good bye if I don't-" I get cut off when the the hyperdrive powered up woth a vvvvvvvvvvvVVVVERRRRRRR PEEOW, and just like that, me, my A-wing, and R2-411, are gone.
Chapter 5

 It's been days since the battle, mabe 2 or 3 days. Luckily I always keep many ration bars in my fighter to last me a good few days, along with my extra water and my ability to go into a deep meditative state, conserving food and water. Keeping me company is my meditation and 411. We have almost hit some unknown objects, could have been planets, asteroids, other ships, but we seem to be staying in hyperspace lanes luckily, or I would have been dead a long time ago. My class 2 hyperdrive could have taken me all over the galaxy by now, I could be heading towards Coruscant right now for all I know. 

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
My hyperdrive warning kicked on, showing that there is a massive gravity force in my path. The console flashed with big red dangerous letters "Exiting Hyperdrive" on the screen.
"YES! FINALLY!" I yelled with excitement.

 I watch through the glass to see a barren looking planet, and a similar looking moon, a moon I was heading to. I was moving fast, as I entered the moon's atmosphere, Im grabbing the controls, barely anything. My craft is red hot from the rate at which I'm coming in on. I'm grabbing the stick, pulling back as much as I can, as to try and save myself and 411 from a fiery death. I scraped by a big rocky mountain dealing more damage to my A-wing. 

"HOLD ON 411!"
"Come ooooon. Pull pull pullllll…. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!-" VERRROW BOOOOSH!!! The crash landing sounded like a bomb flying through the air, then landing on its target. I try to get from my seat just to find my strap and window will not open. Using my saber I cut off my seat strap and broke the window from the hinges and leaped out, taking 411 from the craft, swiftly landing on a tall mountainous rock. The craft seemed to have pushed through the land 50 meters from the initial impact spot. The area I was in seemed to be very rocky terrain with many rocky canyons and huge rocks that are almost mountainous. The sun was close to setting down for the night but was still a good hour away from sleeping.

 With the force by my side, I felt a very uneasy sensation telling me to stay out of sight. I duck down on the tall skinny rock taking 411 down with me. 411 confusingly bleeps when I do so. "Hey, I have a feeling right now, just keep quiet real quick, there's somebody coming. Trust me." Me and 411 peer over the edge looming over my crashed ship just as a group of 6 men in full armor covering their whole body fly in with jetpacks strapped to their backs, blasters in hand. As they land, they search around my wreckage, presumably looking for survivors. One seems to be ordering the others around, pointing at one to look in one direction, another a different direction, and scanning around for the unexpected visitor. I look down at my Wrist link, my distress signal wasn't sent, I guess that was damaged from entering the planet at such high speed with no deflector shields surrounding the ship like a protective blanket. 

"Blast, 411, what's your S.O.S signal situation, did it go through?" 411 beeps with a little drama like I should know it didn't go through.
"Well sorry for busting your rusty bolts you rowdy rancor, better to try than to just give up mister sassy pants. Maybe I should wipe your memory for a change, see how you like it."
"Now shush, don't want them to find us spying on them, won't look too good." I demand. "Now here, in case we get caught, I don't want them to know I'm a Jedi, so here, take my sabers, I'm not gonna need them anyways." I said shoving my lightsabers into 411's storage compartment and looking towards the crash again.

 Just then the suit of armor that had been commanding his squad bursts up into my view right on my face out of hyperspace blue. 

"Ah, found ya trespassers, you 2 are coming with me." Demanded the Mandalorian with a snickering sound in his voice as the others rise from the portal of the abyss from down below.

 It was a good thing my ropes where in the tent back on Sarrish, or this may have been an even worse situation, Mangalorians like them hate Jedi with a passion, and it's a good thing I always have a broken blaster in 411 for any cases where I need to blend in with a crowd or pose as a normal civilian; although, the ability to become a civilian at any point is great, I've had little need to do so much. I'm quite popular with the people for being one who tries to connect with the population as a fellow citizen. So I rarely stay in the temple for too long. I love being with the people and learning skills without the force, like being a mechanic, electrician, public speaker, security guard, an all around great person to talk with about anything. I'm quite known on all levels of Coruscant for being one of the most friendly Jedi to be around. Right now though, I need to focus on not being caught, at least That's what my gut is telling me. After they searched my character for any weapons and found the broken blaster that 411 had put in my holster where my lightsaber usually is, they were satisfied and pushed us into one of their big Kom'rk Mark 1 class Mandalorian starfightetransport ship. 

(Look in comments for 6th paragraph)

They called them "words of the wise", and they guided everything in their life. The Arhada lived by them, followed them strictly and sometimes created them out of thin air: these words filled their days with meanings, and the unexpected vicissitudes of life with a sense of calm acceptance. They hung in the air, filling silences, guiding them through conversations, solving their problems.
Alanaporo took a small brush. Her hand was deft and able and the mother Rededojôrho admired that about her – so much so that she had tasked her with decorating all the pots that the women of the house made from then on. She would paint swirls and curves and other geometrical patterns encircling the main pictures: symbols that represented those "words of wisdom", ancient and new. With enough inventiveness, one drawing could stand in for the answer to a great existential question: words of wisdom no longer hung in the air, they became alive in everyday items, in rooms, on the very faces of people. Alanaporo was the most skilled artist of them all, and all the famous ladies and men of the palace wanted their faces painted by her with the proverb they strived to embody and their marriage pots painted with vivid reminders of their future life.
The one she was working on now was a large, crafted with ability and care by young hands. The youngest daughter of Rededojôrho had made it a long time ago, when she first entered adulthood. Three years had passed and the vase had remained in the treasury, filled with the gifts she had received on that fateful day. It was already decorated: the young girl had marked it with her comb, undulating it across its circumference, and then filled the undecorated areas with regular white dots all around. Since then, however, her tastes had changed and she wanted something that represented her more, something that reminded her of her impending wedding. With a rough stone, Alanaporo had scraped the white paint away and had begun her new work.
She dipped the brush in a mixture of red ochre and jaba oil, made thick and shiny. It would take a while for it to dry, but this was a ceremonial object, it would not be touched until the lady's wedding, two months later. She drew the symbols: a man a woman above, a couple of holy spirits below.
"a groom and bride become divine: all gods are brides and grooms, all brides and grooms are gods"
The red pigment flowed swiftly across the porous surface of the vase. A symbol to honour its bearer.
***
The mother Rededojôrho herself had once again tasked Alanaporo with the decorations of a wooden box where she would put her copper jewelry. The small chest was handsome, built by the lady's husband in black ebony. Yellow ochre would be quite beautiful with that, but the lady requested Alanaporo would carve it instead.
A persimmon tree had provided the wood – they said the tree was almost two hundred years old when it was cut down: the clan had kept some for themselves and sold a great deal of it to neighbouring villages, insuring themselves against the penury of a less than abundant harvest.
The painter decorated the sides with a wiry decoration of parallel lines conjoined at the bottom and the top, and then drew a larger symbol on the lid of the chest:
"when a man speaks out of turn he breaks a wall and burns a roof: for to disrespect a woman is to disrespect her house."
This would remind any man who would dare to open that sacred object about the grave affront they were committing towards the lady – the disrespect that merely entering the treasury would signal to the entire clan. A symbol to warn off intruders.
***
Tears streamed from Alanaporo's face as paint dripped form her brush. This vase was meant to hold the ashes of her dearest matriarch Rededojôrho, the woman who had welcomed her into her palace, given her her favour, given her her trust.
She remembered, many years ago, Rededojôrho had seen her wares at the market. "You hand is talented, girl, you deserve fame for your craft."
She had grown used to life at the palace, and she had made lifelong friends amongst the lovely halls of the high-house of Kamābarha, friends she would keep forever; none of them were as important to her as the woman who had given her that life, who had given her art the chance to thrive. The vase was entirely glazed with a white, shiny coat. She would not paint upon it, it would wash off too easily: instead, she took a small knife and scraped away to glaze to reveal the symbol.
"A person is a stalk of rice: we are planted, we grow and we are cropped when we are ready."
It was Alanaporo's way to say goodbye to the woman who had been a second mother to her. A symbol to remind everyone of the beginning and the end.
____________
Background: The formative era sees the emergence in the lands of the Arhada of the growing cultural practice of proverb glyphs. These symbols, visual representations of key cultural concepts, usually summarised in one of two simplified pictures, become a foundational part of Arhadan visual language as the most commonly found decorative and expressive tool. This vast semiotic vocabulary develops as a way to create "speaking objects", especially pots, pipes and other ceramic apparatus. A proverb initially served as a reminder of the objects function – later, as the symbology deepened in meanings, and decorated objects became more ceremonial in function, the message behind them became more culural, rather than functional, reminding either of the virtures of the owner and user of the objects, or the more implicit meanings behind an artifact. The practice spreads away from artisanship and towards art: facepaint, usually made with basic oil paints of mixed ochre and jaba oil, became another vessel for the development of pictographs, as well as woodcarvings and textiles.
Because the creation of specialised crafts, especially when dealing with smaller, ceremonial objects is tied to the work of elite women, the people who most readily specialise as painters are almost exclusively from the palace – either women of the clan, the wives of clanmen or favourites who entered the palace later in life. This period is also a great time of craft specialisation: those who become more skilled and talented in a specific art are most often tasked with performing exclusively that task: the maker of a vase, its glazer, its painter become separate figures, following the design of a single piece of pottery, especially the most complex and prised ones, at different stages.

I made a character and this sotry for star wars (i made this story for my English finals, i had a month to make it and got an A on it), the characters name is Saya Eban and is a character I have been thinking of for over a decade now (im not in my 2nd decade so since i was super young). Saya at this time is 13-14 years old and was given inspiration by almost all the other jedi and also star killer. He is human and with reliance on the force he can live up to 1000 years with hi peak being between 35, 40 ish to around 800 years of age. In terms of prime power level and potential, in my canon he is 3rd most powerful character just underneath luke and anikan Skywalkers, but could contend with them at some points. Little background: he was a prodigy in school before he became a padawan, he always had an intrest in a character named Ahsoka Tano but never became more than friends because of the Jedi teachings. He was a fast learning youngling and became a padawan earlier than most other younglings, becaming a padawan at the age of 11 - 12. He was in the first battle of Genesis but his troop transport ship was blasted out of the air, landing behind enemy lines leaving him the sole surviver, and scarring him, making him want to never see uneeded bloodshed ever again. He met Count Dooku before he had met Obi-Wan and Anikan on geonosis, he locked blades with him once... once, before he was thrown aside like a house fly, not worth his time, he was out until the retreat of the battle was initiated. This gave him night terrors and nightmares, after this day he could never sleep more than an hour, if that, before he woke up feeling the dark side creeping in. So he had learned to use sleep meditation. Sleep meditation allowed him to accelerate his trainings and connect greater to the force, he had unlocked 1/3 of his life now, the force helping his cells heal his body while he sat and meditated.
This story is of how he lived through one of the bloodiest battles and worst losses of the Republic, the battle of Sarrish, and of how he had obtained his later main star ship, a Kom'rk Mark 1 class star fightetransport, aka the Puro (i made this story before I have watched the 3rd season of the Mandalorian, as of right now i still haven't so Idk if thats in season 3 or not).
There is about 11,340 words in the story, and I don't 100% know of what I should make him look like so have your imaginations run wild.
Ok here we go:
Tales of Saya Eban's Puro
Chapter 1

 The battle of Sarrish was one of the worst battles of the Clone Wars, it was a great devastating loss to the Republic and the Jedi, and I was in the middle of it all. Before the battle I was doing some touch-ups on my A-wing Fighter. I had managed to get my hands on a hyperdrive that would fit in my small fighter, although being able to enter hyperspace without an external hyperdrive wing is very convenient, fast, and easy, it does slow my fighter and hinder some mobility, but not an uncontrollable amount of loss. Little did I know it'd save my life later that week. After I had finished my work, gotten it restocked for my next battle, I was called to the Jedi command center for a briefing by Master Yoda, saying it was an urgent mission and I was needed now, with his backwards way of speaking annoying me slightly. In a flash, I had gathered my battle ready loadout and headed off to the command center. When I entered the command center with the center planning table showing starships from both Confederate and Republic sides, One chasing another. I look and see Masters Yoda and Windu and a holoprojected Obi-Wan Kenobi surrounding the Table, with deeply serious thoughts in their eyes, fingers on their concentrating chins. When I swiftly strolled in, I was greeted with Master Windu's cheerful, but serious voice: "Ah, Padawan Eban, good you're here, come quick, we must act with persistence if we want to gain an upper hand in this war." "Master Windu, good to see you, you too Master Yoda, Master Kenobi, what's the situation?" Master Obi-Wan states, "We are currently chasing Separatist forces to the planet Sarrish and we will need some back up, could you bring your part of the 104th battalion right away, we have heavy casualties and they're going to have reinforcements when they reach the planet." "Is there not anyone closer than me, it may take a few days for me to get there, yall mabe finished by the time I get there!" I said with hope in my eyes. "I'm afraid that you're the only one that is available with the most minimal time of arrival, you'll have to be quick though, it will be anytime now they will reach the planet and have reinforcements. we need this win, it will be a great victory for the Republic if we are able to capture the planet." Stated Obi-Wan with certainty. "All other generals are on missions right as we speak, you are the only one that can provide back up at this current time." Master Windu added "Closer to Knight after this mission you will be, great padawan you are, your great swift improvements, Master Plo is pleased with, believe in you I do." Master Yoda said with a jolly old-man voice. "Now go, there's not much time to waste, gather your men and go help Obi-Wan!" Rushedly said by Master Windu. "With determination in my voice, I yell "Yes Masters, right away!" And like a flash, I was gone. As I'm running off, I catch a glimpse of a green swoosh and the sound of a bolt deflection. I stumble to a stop and put my legs in reverse to give curiosity the wheel. When I peer in, I see Master Skywalker and Ahsoka, along with roughly 8 clone troopers all in a circle around Ahsoka and her one blade ignited. Master Skywalker had her eyes welded to her as he walked around the trooper. I could see Captain Rex standing and watching as well, although he seems to be the only one who spotted me poking in my head. He motioned his finger to his lips as to tell me to shush and not interfere, so I watched with anticipation. And after a lifetime stillness ending in a second after Master Skywalker yelled "START!" And stun doughnuts fire from the blasters of the troopers, sending a volley of blue twords Ahsoka from all directions. With great flexibility I pair with, she jumps into the air, spinning like skates on a skate rink in mid air deflecting all incoming plasmic projectiles landing with swift grace ready for more, And more came, she stands in the center blade moving almost faster than what my eyes could keep up with, until that one bolt punches her right in the back, knocking her to the ground, diminishing the blade back into the hilt. I spring into the room, speaking with worry in my voice when I squeak out "Ahsoka! Master Skywalker, what was that!?" 

"She was just training deflecting blaster fire, she's going to be outmatched a lot in this war, and clones are better than droids to practice with." Anakin said with pride that she was able to last little over a minute, thats improvement.
"Well I guess you're not completely wrong, but your going to give her a brain injury at this rate! Could you not go a bit easier on her?"
"She'll never learn if I go easy on her." Master Skywalker said with little arrogance in his voice.
"W- well, here, l-let me wake her then." I stuttered as I walked up to Rex holding Ahsoka like he's a pillow.
"Rex, do you mind if I-"
"Not at all General, here." Rex said as I sat next to him holding Ahsoka's top half of her body.

 As he caringly sets Ahsoka's rhythmically beating top half in my lap, head facing the heavens, I softly lay my hand over her forehead, close my eyes, and concentrate. A few suspenseful seconds later, I take my hand off and observe Ahsoka's hand softly glide to her now curling forehead, eyes fluttering open. 

With a smile I voiced"Wakey Wakey warrior princess, have a good nap?" Smirking the whole time.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes Nicksters." She groaned with fading pain.
"What are you doing here?" She leisurely grumbled as she started to lie propped up by her desirable, fluorescent orange arms made of flexible muscle.
"I was walking by, and saw a 'damsel in distress', I HAD to come and 'save the day'." I joked, smirking the whole time, annoying her little bit more.
"You know I have been dying to use my force heal on you since I had learned it. I bet you don't even feel bad at all right now hm?" I said leaning in
Ahsoka starts to stand as to get a feel for her own body.
"You're right, I feel better than I did before, not bad for someone named Nicks." Ahsoka said smirking right back at me.
"Oh come on, that was one time, that was even before we became patiwans!" I said with little dramatics in my vocal verberations.
"Ok Master, I'm ready to try again." Ahsoka said to Master Skywalker
"Not now Ahsoka, we have a mission from the Jedi council we have to attend to while Obi-Wan is on his own mission." Anikan said to Ahsoka, elongating his 'not' like he usually does
"I'm actually about to go give help to Obi-Wan right now… WHICH I NEED TO GET PREPARED FOR NOW!! Karabast, got to go! See yah Ahsoka, Master, Rex." And like a ship entering hyperspace, I was gone.
Chapter 2

 After 2 boring days traveling in hyperspace, me and my 5 Veneter class Cruisers are nearing our destination, this would make 12 Cruisers for the Republic side. A new commander CT'-4112 or Zerek, debriefs on the battle situation. As I had sensed, Obi-Wan was outmatched seeing as backup was on planet Sarrish for the fleeing Separatist ships, now it's 11 Munificent class Cruisers and 2 command stations blockading the planet. Kenobi was starting to be pushed back, relying on our Cruisers longer ranged cannons to hope the Sepies didn't get too close. Our Cruisers have longer ranged main canons and toms of fighter room, while the Sepies Cruisers have more fire power at closer ranges with more fighters than our Vendor class Cruisers, at closer ranges, the Sepies would completely destroy a Venetor class Cruiser, but we have strategies and will power. 

"Glad to see a friendly face Saya." Kenobi said exhaustingly.
"Well, it looked like you needed help. You know I need to be the one to save everyone. I'll move into position to fortify our defenses to push the Sepies back and for us to make a plan. What is your fleet's condition?"
"We have 2 Venetors heavily damaged and the rest either have mild to no damage. And we have lost half our fighters as of now." Urgently said by Kenobi.
"Ok, I'm sending men and supplies to you right now, let me take the front so I can take the damage if they send another attack." I calmly said to Kenobi.
"Men battle positions and set all power to front cannons and shields. Venators get into pincer position and get ready for an attack. Fighters get ready to launch." I commanded to all my Cruisers
"Master, if you could, could you add in your undamaged Venetors? " I wandered and directed with much mastery, I even made Obi-Wan himself visually impressed considering my inexperienced mind in life, and especially war. I even managed to make him smile.
"Getting in position now." Obi-Wan stated, still smiling.
"Understood, While you get everything fixed, I'll see if I can weaken their defenses, it seems as if they're in attack positions so we gotta be ready for anything." I said in deep thought.
"Ok, 10 to 13, I like those odds, makes it even, more so for the Sepies." I grinned.
"Now Saya, remember this is still a battle, don't be too cocky, you're starting to remind me of Anakin." Obi-Wan said with conviction.
"Yes Master, sorry about that." I answered to Obi-Wan, pulling back a little.

 Just then, many starfighters come from the enemy Cruisers, hundreds of them lightning fast, closing distance fast. 

"All right men, time for some fun. Obi-Wan, if you want to take command of my control center, I'll lead this fight." I said before Obi-Wan could respond.
"Ok- but Saya! Blast, maybe he's too much like Anikan." Obi-Wan said defeatedly.
As I get into the hangar I yell "Alright Wolfpack, let's get goin!" Then I hop into my modified Jedi A-wing.
We rush out from the center roof door along the Cruiser with my squadron aka The Wolfpack, with me leading my 23 fighters into battle and many more friendly's following from the hangars.
"Ok Wolfpack, let's make a break for them Cruisers, get as many of them gone as possible. 411 you ready?" I asked R2-411. R2-411 bleeps with readiness.
"Ok, time to blow them out of the sky, remember, stay in formation" I commanded.
"Yes sir!" The Clones bellowed.

 Then we hit the swarm with a mighty thundering sound of lasers flying through the emptiness of space seeing one after one of enemy fighter droids dropping all over the place. Me and my Wolfpack fly through all the 2 winged Vulture droids that look like each wing was sideways and has 2 prongs each side for wings. They were way more quick and maneuverable than us, but we had a duty to win, and we won't lose today. It's like a firework show, but you're dodging all the fireworks, and they're aiming right at you. While we are defending the Venator Cruisers, they're mostly firing at the Sepies Cruisers, slowly dwindling their energy shields down. 

"Boys, I have a plan, but I'll need yall to get back to the Cruisers." I urged
"Obi-Wan, how's the 2 heavily damaged Cruisers? We've been out for a long while. They should be good by now right?" I questioned Master Kenobi.
"They're about to come back into the fight, but one of our Cruisers is at a quarter shield, few good hits or bombing runs and it's gone, what's your plan Saya?" Obi-Wan said, perplexed.
"Just give me an opening to the left Separatist control center, that's all I need to get on that ship." I stated with confidence.
"I'll try my best, but don't be stupid Saya, we can't afford to lose you."
"Yeah yeah I know, just get me an opening please Master!" I begged.

 After the words fleeted from my mouth, all the Cruisers fired a hole through the droid fleet with friendly fighters also making way for me to get through. I blast the afterburners straight through the enemy swarm that's been lesson by the commotion, just barely being hidden by smoke from a just destroyed fighter straight into the leftmost control ship hanger landing with an explosive entry. And immediately I jump out, igniting both, my straight emerald green saber in my left, and my yellow saber with a curved hilt similar to the Count's hilt himself in my right. I'll face him again one day, it's inevitable, like me. I land and immediately cut a group of B1 battle droids heads off with my yellow saber facing out, giving me more reach, but as I start to take fire from the army that quickly form from my landing, I swiftly doge left to right almost able to doge the sight of a human eye. Left, pop goes the heads of 3, right, pop goes 5, jump through the air on an almost straight path through the thick of the army, spinning with a light show if one were to be an onlooker at this chaotic organization of flying red plasmic bolts going to a mix of yellow and green, then proceeding to fly straight back at the shooter with twice the velocity. I land on my feet with a thunderous "BOOM" with what seems like an explosion that incinerates half of the whole hanger with an electric yellow glow seeming like yellow lighting exploded from the epicenter of the explosion. When the smoke cleared, it seemed that everything within a 5 meter radius was completely incinerated, and everything within 40 meter radius was heavily damaged, and any technology within eye shot was either scrape or short-circuiting, but all B1 battle droids and super battle droids were out. 

I sighed with relief with little heavy breathing when I looked around me, but with no time to rest, 6 Vulture droid fighters came through the hanger's magnetic shield door, transforming to walk on its pronged wings like they were legs. They scanned me and started raining a flurry of red down onto me, but with my lightning fast reflexes, I raised my sabers to block the incoming hellfire from all six fighter's. Then came the flurry being deflected in any direction possible, and I could just barely see the 6 droids started to surround me by going behind my back, but I ain't done yet. As I'm blocking, jumping, spinning, twisting on a micrometer, I stomp with a mighty force, launching through the air, slowly spinning straight for a Vulture that has became the prey. Bolts whizzing by me, inches, centimeters near my skin, singeing my arm hairs to their roots. I land on top of the droid with a thunderous boom crunching where my foot had landed, driving my sabers straight through the brain of the story high droid, with a counterclockwise rotation around my back, dragging my sabers across the metal of the droid, I leap off the droid landing with the feathers and fly forward with a flashing dash slicing through 2 other droids legs, leaving gravity do its magical job. 3 down, 3 to go, but with little time left. I launch forward running on hairs dipping and dodging blots, I leap up slicing through one leg of a droid and pushing off of its gravity taken hull, coming down on another droid's leg, cutting with ease. I land like a leaf in the autumn skies, and launch with a swift leap, flying my yellow saber straight down the middle of the 6th and final droid with no time to spare.

 I land with caution, ready to fend off another foe, but none came at that second, so I took the opportunity and ran with it straight to where the main reactors should lie. I swiftly sprint with force leaps through the air to get to the reactor, the ship is 270th of a circle with a ball where the command center is, the middle is the only connected between the back of the ball and the inner back of the circle, that's where the reactor is, im at the left most side, may take me a minute to reach it, but I can get there without being seen. My plan was to quickly fix and rewrite a Vulture droid's code to go with my command, not going to be the best work but it will work, hopefully. I had to act fast because I knew there were going to be hundreds more droids to come to see the commotion, I'd say within the minute. The codes used on the droids are not the best, because of mass production, so It was an easy fix, I just needed it to fly a small bit. It comes back to life with a putt to its movement, I directed it to start flying while I'm on its back, putting the whole time with smoke, just what I needed. I start to move forward as fast as possible. As we get around the hundreds of battle droids below, I'm starting to speed up, and as I see the reactor room, I could hear B1's yell " HEY! STOP! YOUR GOING TO FAST" in their robotic voice. Before I hit the Shield covering the reactor room, I jump off to the left where the blast door is for the room. With the distraction of the droid smashing into the shield, I use this time to slowly cut through the blast doors with both sabers starting at the bottom of the door, going up and around to form a circle I can fit through. I was through within a Minute, unnoticed, or so I was led to believe. When I get into the reactor room, I throw explosives all over the reactors, with a detonation in T minus 1 minute. I fly out of the room, calling for 411 to bring my ship as fast as possible, 55. Running across the hanger, I'm spotted by the hundreds of battle droids, which immediately start firing right as they see me 50. The explosion of the fighter droid caused a chain to nearby explosive barrels, exploding more Vulture droids causing tons of smoke and fires to spread around the hangar area, 45. As I'm running, my yellow saber is blocking multiple bolts flying at me while I'm jumping, spinning, performing acrobatic movements while being shot by hundreds of droids, from B1's, to super's, to droideka's, all firing at me, adding to the smoke, 35. Running with young blood in my veins, I perform 1, 2, 3 long jumps and leap onto the side of a slanted destroyed Vulture droid, 30. I jump up, reaching for the cloudy sky just as 411 swoops in predictively shoving my hand into the side of the sharp A-wing hull, 25. I grab the side of the hull and pull myself up into the cockpit, grabbing the controls, 20. I spin to the exit with roughly 67° of the hanger I need to shoot out of, I fire the afterburners using the circumference of the circle and my fighters movment to my advantage, 15. Pushing forward, I am drifting an A-wing around the hangar of a Separatist capital ship skimming the walls centimeters away from an explosive fiery death, 10. I barely screamed out of the hanger, to be able to see a view of the capital ship flying stright for the other Sepie capital ship, 5. Im still firing the afterburners to try and attempt to get a safe distance away from the soon to be collision sight, 4. I let 411 take the control's, 3. I turn my head to look back, 2. I see the collision of the 2 270° hangers, 1. I watch as i get the view of a star being formed right infront of my eyes, and seeing many Sepie Cruisers being absolutely engulfed by the flames, and a blast wave decimating the Vulture droids… blast wave…. BLAST WAVE! Just then I'm thrown far, along with the debri. I manged to gain control of the craft and start performing advanced monuvers to avoid being hit by debrie that will demolishe me and my tiny fighter. 

"Saya, can you hear me? Saya?" Master Obi-Wan Kenobi pleaded.
"Yeah, yeah master, I'm good, I'm fine. Woo…!" I said with a sigh of relief.
Chapter 3

 The explosion had decimated the Separatist forces leaving 4 Cruisers sustaining heavy or mild damages, but with an opening, Obi-Wan and I travel to the ground along with Captain Cody to go for a large ground assault. Master Obi-Wan's plan was to drop in and gather our troops and split them between Obi-Wan and commander Cody. We were west, they were east. The Separatists had the high ground seeing as they had a cliff to their advantage. Flying in on gunships, we were taking heavy fire from their anti aircraft cannons. Commander Cody and I are debriefing the squad on the way to the rally point, seeing gunships after gunship falling to the rocky ground in a fiery explosive ball of red hot metal, and screams, with no plants in sight, just rocks, gunships, and red streaks flying by. Explosions booming right next to us with our doors right open. We have been ordered and ordering troops to stay far away from the mountain top gun fortifying the mountain top of the cliff, leaving that gun for the gunships and the best of the clone troopers, or ARC (Advanced Recon Commandos) troopers to deal with that later, seeing as a ground assault is too dangerous for us. As some of the clones have said, it's not an easy mission, but hops are high. 

"30 seconds until landing." A clone trooper yelled to me and Cody.
Cody starts with "All right, listen up! Maintain squad formations, 'A' squad, You're on me-" ZZZZZEEEROW- BOOOM!
"Where hit!" I yell "Everyone! Hold on!"
Before we hit the ground I leap out of the gunship with a backwards somersault, force pulling all the troops out of the burning fireball heading for the ground, grabbing all of the men, including the 2 pilots at the front, breaking through the windows. I land like rain from the sky, catching the troops I just pulled out with my powers and have them roughly land on the fluffy rocks next to our now downed gunship, no casualties yet. I rush over to take cover under our gunship on its left side behind enemy lines. I sit and meditate as they come up with a plan.
"What's the status lieutenant?" Cody asked
"5 injured thanks to General Saya, but that's not that bad news… Does that Rock look familiar?" The lieutenant asked.
"Yea, the mountain, right where we're not supposed to be." Said Cody
"General Kenobi ordered us not to try taking this section from the ground." The lieutenant regenerated back again with what was already established.
"That's what he said…but what would the general do if he were here?" Cody rhetorically asked.
"Saya sir, what do you think?" A trooper asked me somewhat desperately.
"I think Cody should take this one, I've got your back Cody." I answered with my legs crossed, eyes closed, slightly levitating over the rocks.
"Eight-Eight-Six-Seven through Eight-Eight-Six-Nine and Saya, fix your grapples and come with me. Everybody, prepare for covering fire." Cody ordered.
I get up, eyes still shut, ready to block anything coming our way.
"NOW!" Cody yells, sprinting across what is our no-man's-land
I open my eyes, ignite my Sabers, Green in left, yellow in right, and dash towards the now incoming blaster fire. I sense it, left side, block, right side, deflect, one for Cody, deflected. We get to some stalagmites at the bottom of the mountain, sustaining heavy fire, I pose as a distraction for all the fire, deflecting as many blots as I can back at the metal men. One troop trips and falls, pow, bolt straight through the head. Cody and the men shoot the grappling hooks up towards the top of the mountain and start climbing. I jump from my spot reigniting my sabers, driving them through the mountain side, helping me grab hold with my feet. And when I look up, I see a grapple fall behind me. I tried to grab the rope but I was too late. When I managed to obtain it, he had already hit the ground. Another tragedy, one that never had to happen, life being wasted away. I look up, a droid stairs emotionlessly down into my emotion filled eyes. A blue bolt shoots past me, impacting the droid's head, sending the body backwards.
Cody and the other clone rises from the cliff side as I leap up from the side, landing in front of the clones and immediately start deflecting with my 2 sabers having nothing pass. Cody takes this opportunity to run around my defense and attacks the droids head on, bashing one droid with the butt of his rifle and swinging his rifle at another, destroying both of them. The droid manning the anti aircraft gun turns and aims at Cody. Instinctively I jump in front of the cannon as it fires, I deflect the large bolt away with my right yellow saber, knocking my body to the right, making me stumble. But with the motion throwing me to the right, I use the momentum to throw my green saber with my left hand, impaling the droid in the metal chest. Cody then hops onto the turret, points the gun at the droids firing at our men, and lets loose, destroying all in its reticle.
"Thanks General, I owe you one, ill getcha next time." Cody said slowly getting off the turret.
"You're alright my friend, just pay it forward, let's go see how Obi-Wan did." I slightly worried, staring off to the north.

 We group up at the randevu, where we have set base camp on the planet in a small raven a bit away from where we captured the cliff with some makeshift scouting towers dotted around our position. Obi-Wan had more resistance than what he had anticipated, he was a little banged up, but he was fine in the end. This was a huge victory seeing as we have been able to set base on a planet that allows us to get resources through this hyperspace route and onto parts of the army past this point. Before, General Grievous snipped our route to where we couldn't get resources to our army on the other side from Coruscant. 

Chapter 4

 12 hours later, we have rested and have managed to build up a good base incase of a surprise attack. We are still fighting a few fronts of Separatist holdouts with a fortress a few klicks west, or about 4 miles west. 

I sit in my tent meditating, reflecting back on the weeks events, and what Ahsoka was doing back at the temple, training hard. I recite what I did with an almost overwhelming amount of blaster fire attempting to fly into me, how I was just mostly averting the blots away from me and not in a direction that would benefit me most.
'RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE'

 The ground started to shake out of nowhere, breaking my peace. I rush out of my tent, only to be met with a face full of B2 battle droid. I jump back over my tent flipping onto my feet as I see my tent being lit into flames from heavy bolt fire flying at me. Igniting both my sabers, I deflect the incoming fire away from me up into the sky as much as I physically could. I took a glance around, it was becoming more sunlit as we fought. It was a slaughter, clones dying left and right, Kenobi was on the Command ship getting patched, so it was just me, and the clones down here, being manicured. With a swift right step, I change lightsaber form, combining my form 3, (defensive form blocking anything coming way, and either making, or waiting for an opening to strike) with a combination of form 2 (saber to saber form, putting least amount or saber movement and preferring precise efficient movements) and form 4 (saber from using the force to enhance physical abilities, and heavily utilizing fast acrobatic movements to move around and disorient the opponents, using wide sweeping saber movements to block and hit targets) I use the power if the many bolts to propel my body onto my right leg, crouching down and taking a huge lead in to the air. Looking around like it is moving in stop motion, I see thousands of droids around, completely outnumbering my men. Glancing down where I had jumped from, there seems to be a super battle droid rising from the ground, looking as if it has been there for at least a few days. Time seems to start like normal again, immediately I have to block bolts coming for my body, twisting, turning, deflecting every. single. bolt. right to another droid. I can't have any more unneeded deaths in my hands. I land with an impactful explosion of yellow lighting, rendering half of the electronics on the field obsolete. Shots fire over the wall, exploding near me. 

"Everyone, Retreat!" I yelled into the comms.
I ran towards the lieutenant that I had survived the crash with, he was running for a troop transport.
"Get to the ships, return to the Venators! Get Kenobi and relay what has happened!" Urgency blowing through my voice.

 I push him into the ship as it takes off. As it's doing so, I force push it away from the field as to be in less danger of being shot down. But rockets fly through the air, I reach through the force and grab onto the hurdling death traps, I grab 1, 2, crash them into one another, 3, grab, 4, grab, 5, miss. ERRROW… BOOOM! With a hopeless explosion, the ship bursts into an explosive ball of fire, right in front of my eyes, out of my grasp. Shots fly past my head from behind me, I ignite my sunlit yellow saber to block incoming bolts. No men, only metal remains, and it wants me dead. I dash for my ship on the other side of the airstrip, luckily barely touched from this horrible surprise party that invited everyone I very much dislike. Hopping into my A-wing, I lift-off dogging left, right, up, down, roll left, roll right, barely being passed by on all sides by cannon fire. When I reach the point past the clouds, there's a whole war above. Separatist forces have surprised Kenobi with an overwhelming number of ships, putting our war torn 12 Venators against 16 Munificent class Cruisers. We were greatly out matched. But the time I was in space we had lost 3 Vectors compared to there 1 lost. Droids noticed me coming from the planet and started to verge onto my position. 

"Obi-Wan! You there? Can you hear me?" I yelled, pulling evasive maneuvers.
"Saya, is that you?" Kenobi asked.
"Yes, we got surprised on the ground, seems the same happened here." I rushingly said.
"Yes, they came out of nowh-" Kenobi is cut off by a blaring siren from my cockpit.
"Wait, my ship is damaged, it's starting up my hyperdrive, 411 can you fix it?" I said dipping left and right while trying to stop the hyperdrive activation.
With a few bleeps of fear, I understand what's happening.
"When I was thrown from the capital ship explosive wave, I must have been hit near the hyperdrive, and explosions from my escape, along with the maneuvers I have been pulling, it may have caused damage that is registering a hyperdrive activation. Master Obi-Wan, I don't know, I-I don't know what to do!" I claimed with fear in my eyes.
"Can you deactivate the hyperdrive at all 411?" Kenobi asked
411 bleeps with a sad toon.
"Blast, Saya, does it say where you're going?"
"N- No, my council just says ERROR." I stated, now with much fear in my voice.

 I managed to steer my craft into the position of the hyperspace lane. 

"Tell Ahsoka good bye if I don't-" I get cut off when the the hyperdrive powered up woth a vvvvvvvvvvvVVVVERRRRRRR PEEOW, and just like that, me, my A-wing, and R2-411, are gone.
Chapter 5

 It's been days since the battle, mabe 2 or 3 days. Luckily I always keep many ration bars in my fighter to last me a good few days, along with my extra water and my ability to go into a deep meditative state, conserving food and water. Keeping me company is my meditation and 411. We have almost hit some unknown objects, could have been planets, asteroids, other ships, but we seem to be staying in hyperspace lanes luckily, or I would have been dead a long time ago. My class 2 hyperdrive could have taken me all over the galaxy by now, I could be heading towards Coruscant right now for all I know. 

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
My hyperdrive warning kicked on, showing that there is a massive gravity force in my path. The console flashed with big red dangerous letters "Exiting Hyperdrive" on the screen.
"YES! FINALLY!" I yelled with excitement.

 I watch through the glass to see a barren looking planet, and a similar looking moon, a moon I was heading to. I was moving fast, as I entered the moon's atmosphere, Im grabbing the controls, barely anything. My craft is red hot from the rate at which I'm coming in on. I'm grabbing the stick, pulling back as much as I can, as to try and save myself and 411 from a fiery death. I scraped by a big rocky mountain dealing more damage to my A-wing. 

"HOLD ON 411!"
"Come ooooon. Pull pull pullllll…. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!-" VERRROW BOOOOSH!!! The crash landing sounded like a bomb flying through the air, then landing on its target. I try to get from my seat just to find my strap and window will not open. Using my saber I cut off my seat strap and broke the window from the hinges and leaped out, taking 411 from the craft, swiftly landing on a tall mountainous rock. The craft seemed to have pushed through the land 50 meters from the initial impact spot. The area I was in seemed to be very rocky terrain with many rocky canyons and huge rocks that are almost mountainous. The sun was close to setting down for the night but was still a good hour away from sleeping.

 With the force by my side, I felt a very uneasy sensation telling me to stay out of sight. I duck down on the tall skinny rock taking 411 down with me. 411 confusingly bleeps when I do so. "Hey, I have a feeling right now, just keep quiet real quick, there's somebody coming. Trust me." Me and 411 peer over the edge looming over my crashed ship just as a group of 6 men in full armor covering their whole body fly in with jetpacks strapped to their backs, blasters in hand. As they land, they search around my wreckage, presumably looking for survivors. One seems to be ordering the others around, pointing at one to look in one direction, another a different direction, and scanning around for the unexpected visitor. I look down at my Wrist link, my distress signal wasn't sent, I guess that was damaged from entering the planet at such high speed with no deflector shields surrounding the ship like a protective blanket. 

"Blast, 411, what's your S.O.S signal situation, did it go through?" 411 beeps with a little drama like I should know it didn't go through.
"Well sorry for busting your rusty bolts you rowdy rancor, better to try than to just give up mister sassy pants. Maybe I should wipe your memory for a change, see how you like it."
"Now shush, don't want them to find us spying on them, won't look too good." I demand. "Now here, in case we get caught, I don't want them to know I'm a Jedi, so here, take my sabers, I'm not gonna need them anyways." I said shoving my lightsabers into 411's storage compartment and looking towards the crash again.

 Just then the suit of armor that had been commanding his squad bursts up into my view right on my face out of hyperspace blue. 

"Ah, found ya trespassers, you 2 are coming with me." Demanded the Mandalorian with a snickering sound in his voice as the others rise from the portal of the abyss from down below.

 It was a good thing my ropes where in the tent back on Sarrish, or this may have been an even worse situation, Mangalorians like them hate Jedi with a passion, and it's a good thing I always have a broken blaster in 411 for any cases where I need to blend in with a crowd or pose as a normal civilian; although, the ability to become a civilian at any point is great, I've had little need to do so much. I'm quite popular with the people for being one who tries to connect with the population as a fellow citizen. So I rarely stay in the temple for too long. I love being with the people and learning skills without the force, like being a mechanic, electrician, public speaker, security guard, an all around great person to talk with about anything. I'm quite known on all levels of Coruscant for being one of the most friendly Jedi to be around. Right now though, I need to focus on not being caught, at least That's what my gut is telling me. After they searched my character for any weapons and found the broken blaster that 411 had put in my holster where my lightsaber usually is, they were satisfied and pushed us into one of their big Kom'rk Mark 1 class Mandalorian starfightetransport ship. 

(Look in comments for 6th)

Is anyone interested in critiquing the first chapter of my planned cultivation fantasy series. Sort of an alpha reader? it's less than 1800 words. I want to get several people's opinions of my prose before I write more chapters.
“I can’t wait to eat it.” Gong Li salivated over his next meal. Which was unfortunate, on account of the fact that it wasn’t dead yet.
Over 30 paces away from where he hid was a gnarlwood elk, its hind quarters marked by significant scarring that almost resembled burn marks. Presumably from a recent run in with a predator.
The gnarlwood elk was a truly majestic spirit beast that naturally cultivated the aspect of wood. And as was typically the case for spirit beasts, the path of its cultivation expressed itself in its unique physiology. The creature’s skin was the color of smooth, deep brown bark. It had fur like a normal elk, but it was green and looked more like moss that covered little of the lower half of the beast’s body. The elk sported massive antlers that more closely resembled gnarled tree branches, hence its namesake, with large flower buds growing out from it. Those flower buds were more than mere decoration, however. When opened, they would produce a pollen like substance. When exposed to it, a potential predator would experience severe irritation in its eyes and respiratory system. Also, the beast was about the size of a draft horse.
Li licked his lips in anticipation. “Mhm wood chi infused venison. My meat and veggies all in one bite.”
The Gnarlwood Elk stood cautiously in a clearing in the forest. It drank from a nearby brook, occasionally scanning the area for any signs of predators.
But Gong Li’s next meal wouldn’t find him. He had been on hunts before, but this was the first time he was permitted to join in on the hunt of a spirit beast. Such a thing would normally be too dangerous for someone of his cultivation and he was not expected to take part in the hunt itself. But the important thing was that the spirit beast didn’t notice him. This was an opportunity for Li to demonstrate his ability to suppress his spiritual power. What little he had as a mortal realm cultivator, anyway. Failing to do so might cost him and others their lives the elders of his clan told him. So he was sent on this hunt alongside his cousin Gong Fang and his team of beast hunters to prove his worth.
“Ready”, whispered the man himself in the bushes on Gong Li’s left. Gong Fang sported wild, spiky black hair that shimmered in the noonday sun with oil. His lean corded muscles clearly visible, as he wasn’t wearing a shirt. They bulged as if ready to rip out of his skin as he prepared himself for the hunt.
“Ready,” To Gong Fang’s own left was a woman. Gong Yue was built tall but slender. She shared the tanned complexion that most of the Gong Clan sported, which contrasted nicely with her short, silver hair. After a brief flash of light surrounded her uplifted hands, a wooden bow with a dark blue stone above the grip appeared in her grasp.
“Fire,” Gong Fang catapulted himself out of his hiding spot and into the clearing keeping up a storm of dirt and grass as he went. Gong Yue summoned an updraft, allowing her to take flight and break off small tree branches. As she knocked her arrow, the dark blue stone socketed into her bow’s limbs glowed with sparks of lightning inside. The sparks made their way to the bow proper, and Gong Li could smell the faint hint of ozone in the air.
The beast immediately knew something was wrong, but it was too late. Just as the gnarlwood elk popped its head back up, the arrow struck its neck. The beast reeled.
Gong Fang continued his charge, summoning a massive curved cleaver from his storage ring.
Gong Li watched as the beast struggled to get back on its feet, but the electrical current from the arrow had overloaded its nervous system. It violently flung mud into the air as Gong Yue fired another arrow into its flank.
As he closed in Gong Fang launched himself over ten paces into the air. He came down on the creature’s neck hard; The weight of the sword, his body and his technique. Together they easily cleaved through the base of the creature's neck. Gore sputtered out from the elk’s body and onto Fang but he jumped away from his fallen prey before the flower buds on the antlers blossomed. The beauty of the vibrant yellow petals were marred by the red gore that now covered them.
Fang was grinning. Grinning with the mischievous glee like a kid in an abandoned candy shop.
“Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about.” Fang triumphed over his kill. His enthusiasm was contagious. Li couldn’t help but cheer as well, despite the gory scene.
As Li and Yue caught up to Fang, Yue generated a current of air around them. The current, shaped like a dome, would keep the pollen from the flowers from getting to them.
Fang looked down at Li was a few finger widths shorter. “so little cousin tell me what you think of our technique?”
“Your methods are solid. Yue using lightning to paralyze the target, which gives you time to close the distance and quickly deliver a killing blow. I initially wondered why you use a cleaver instead of a spear as a melee hunting weapon, but now I see the logic of it. Cooks typically use cleavers to cut through bone and thick meat. However, a cleaver style sword can also be an effective way of killing an enemy quickly if you have the strength and precision to wield it. If you attempted to pierce the large Grade 2 beast’s neck with a spear and raw strength alone, it wouldn’t have guaranteed a kill. Given the strong hide and healing factor of the target. But by using force chi, you can apply greater kinetic energy and wield a heavier weapon.”
Fang grinned and looked towards Yue. “Told you he was a smart one.”
“Do you use this strategy against all your targets?” Li asked.
“No. Different prey calls for different methods. Although this is the strategy we use most often. We specialize in hunting large herbivores. That’s what sells the best prices on the market, anyway. They’re also the main course for the most profitable dishes of the clan owned restaurant. Also you’d be amazed what a pair of testicles from just about any large spirit beast would go for.
Li raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Spirit beast testicles?”
Yue interjected. “Many people think the testicles of large spirit beasts make for a potent aphrodisiac and may even increase fertility. There’s not much evidence to support the claim, but who am I to deny a fool so eager to part with his money?”
Fang barked a laugh. “Especially if it’s lining my pockets, eh.”
“We should get moving now,” Yue started scanning the area. “The scars on the elk may look old, but wood aspected beasts have an especially efficient healing factor. The creature that gave it those wounds could be nearby.
“Alright then, just give me five minutes to clean my sword and wash the blood off in the brook.
As Fang made his way to the brook Li turned towards Yue. “I was wondering, cousin Yue. Why use a bow with a lightning aspected beast core instead of cultivating it yourself? It would seem like the perfect fit to supplement your wind path.”
Yue shook her head, “Well, for one, the lightning aspect is hard on the body. It’s one of the most difficult aspects to cultivate.”
“No offense, but you don’t cross me as the type who would fear a little hard work.”
“No I’m not. But…” Yue trailed off.
“Funds. Right?
Yue gave Fang a regrettable expression. “Lightning is also one of the rarer aspects out there. To learn to adapt to cycling it through my meridians, any large quantity would require me to go through several Grade 2 beast cores. The clan simply doesn’t have those kinds of resources anymore. Our current situation is the reason why the elders requested we take you on this hunt with us. While your own path was designed for smithing the metal and fire aspect have obvious combat applications. They want as many of us prepared to defend the clan as possible. Should our enemies decide to take advantage of our weakness and hasten the clan’s fall.
As Li contemplated the clan’s current predicament, he found himself suddenly slapped with a torrent of water. After recovering from the initial shock, Li looked in Fang’s general direction. And there he was beaming with satisfaction in the brook over 10 paces away, sword in hand.
“You bastard.” Yue screamed.
Fang simply laughed and pulled back his weapon. He dipped the bulk of the cleaver in the water and made a sweeping motion back towards Li and Yue creating another wave of water. The water was accelerated to deceptively high velocities due to his application of force chi to enhance the swing. Yue was ready for him this time however. She generated a wall of wind chi that redirected the wave of water back at Fang. The combined force of the water and Yue’s wind technique knocked Fang off his feet submerging him in the brook’s shallow waters.
Yue laughed.
Li flicked off a piece of the gnarlwood elk’s bark-like carapace off his shoulder with a sigh of irration. “You’re a child cousin Fa-.”
Li found himself smacked hard by a current of air. He went spinning and before he knew his face smacked hard into the dirt, dazed. It took a moment to realize what had happened. Yue had struck him with her own technique. But why? He was only a mortal realm cultivator. She wouldn’t have hit him with an attack that hard, only for her own amusement.
His head was spinning, but Li did his best to lift it up and look around. It was then that he came to realize what had happened.
The impact knocked him a clean fifteen paces away, on the other side of the stream for his own safety. For the predator had arrived to claim its wounded prey.

Is anyone interested in critiquing the first chapter of my planned cultivation fantasy series. Sort of an alpha reader? it's less than 1800 words. I want to get several people's opinions of my prose before I write more chapters.
“I can’t wait to eat it.” Gong Li salivated over his next meal. Which was unfortunate, on account of the fact that it wasn’t dead yet.
Over 30 paces away from where he hid was a gnarlwood elk, its hind quarters marked by significant scarring that almost resembled burn marks. Presumably from a recent run in with a predator.
The gnarlwood elk was a truly majestic spirit beast that naturally cultivated the aspect of wood. And as was typically the case for spirit beasts, the path of its cultivation expressed itself in its unique physiology. The creature’s skin was the color of smooth, deep brown bark. It had fur like a normal elk, but it was green and looked more like moss that covered little of the lower half of the beast’s body. The elk sported massive antlers that more closely resembled gnarled tree branches, hence its namesake, with large flower buds growing out from it. Those flower buds were more than mere decoration, however. When opened, they would produce a pollen like substance. When exposed to it, a potential predator would experience severe irritation in its eyes and respiratory system. Also, the beast was about the size of a draft horse.
Li licked his lips in anticipation. “Mhm wood chi infused venison. My meat and veggies all in one bite.”
The Gnarlwood Elk stood cautiously in a clearing in the forest. It drank from a nearby brook, occasionally scanning the area for any signs of predators.
But Gong Li’s next meal wouldn’t find him. He had been on hunts before, but this was the first time he was permitted to join in on the hunt of a spirit beast. Such a thing would normally be too dangerous for someone of his cultivation and he was not expected to take part in the hunt itself. But the important thing was that the spirit beast didn’t notice him. This was an opportunity for Li to demonstrate his ability to suppress his spiritual power. What little he had as a mortal realm cultivator, anyway. Failing to do so might cost him and others their lives the elders of his clan told him. So he was sent on this hunt alongside his cousin Gong Fang and his team of beast hunters to prove his worth.
“Ready”, whispered the man himself in the bushes on Gong Li’s left. Gong Fang sported wild, spiky black hair that shimmered in the noonday sun with oil. His lean corded muscles clearly visible, as he wasn’t wearing a shirt. They bulged as if ready to rip out of his skin as he prepared himself for the hunt.
“Ready,” To Gong Fang’s own left was a woman. Gong Yue was built tall but slender. She shared the tanned complexion that most of the Gong Clan sported, which contrasted nicely with her short, silver hair. After a brief flash of light surrounded her uplifted hands, a wooden bow with a dark blue stone above the grip appeared in her grasp.
“Fire,” Gong Fang catapulted himself out of his hiding spot and into the clearing keeping up a storm of dirt and grass as he went. Gong Yue summoned an updraft, allowing her to take flight and break off small tree branches. As she knocked her arrow, the dark blue stone socketed into her bow’s limbs glowed with sparks of lightning inside. The sparks made their way to the bow proper, and Gong Li could smell the faint hint of ozone in the air.
The beast immediately knew something was wrong, but it was too late. Just as the gnarlwood elk popped its head back up, the arrow struck its neck. The beast reeled.
Gong Fang continued his charge, summoning a massive curved cleaver from his storage ring.
Gong Li watched as the beast struggled to get back on its feet, but the electrical current from the arrow had overloaded its nervous system. It violently flung mud into the air as Gong Yue fired another arrow into its flank.
As he closed in Gong Fang launched himself over ten paces into the air. He came down on the creature’s neck hard; The weight of the sword, his body and his technique. Together they easily cleaved through the base of the creature's neck. Gore sputtered out from the elk’s body and onto Fang but he jumped away from his fallen prey before the flower buds on the antlers blossomed. The beauty of the vibrant yellow petals were marred by the red gore that now covered them.
Fang was grinning. Grinning with the mischievous glee like a kid in an abandoned candy shop.
“Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about.” Fang triumphed over his kill. His enthusiasm was contagious. Li couldn’t help but cheer as well, despite the gory scene.
As Li and Yue caught up to Fang, Yue generated a current of air around them. The current, shaped like a dome, would keep the pollen from the flowers from getting to them.
Fang looked down at Li was a few finger widths shorter. “so little cousin tell me what you think of our technique?”
“Your methods are solid. Yue using lightning to paralyze the target, which gives you time to close the distance and quickly deliver a killing blow. I initially wondered why you use a cleaver instead of a spear as a melee hunting weapon, but now I see the logic of it. Cooks typically use cleavers to cut through bone and thick meat. However, a cleaver style sword can also be an effective way of killing an enemy quickly if you have the strength and precision to wield it. If you attempted to pierce the large Grade 2 beast’s neck with a spear and raw strength alone, it wouldn’t have guaranteed a kill. Given the strong hide and healing factor of the target. But by using force chi, you can apply greater kinetic energy and wield a heavier weapon.”
Fang grinned and looked towards Yue. “Told you he was a smart one.”
“Do you use this strategy against all your targets?” Li asked.
“No. Different prey calls for different methods. Although this is the strategy we use most often. We specialize in hunting large herbivores. That’s what sells the best prices on the market, anyway. They’re also the main course for the most profitable dishes of the clan owned restaurant. Also you’d be amazed what a pair of testicles from just about any large spirit beast would go for.
Li raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Spirit beast testicles?”
Yue interjected. “Many people think the testicles of large spirit beasts make for a potent aphrodisiac and may even increase fertility. There’s not much evidence to support the claim, but who am I to deny a fool so eager to part with his money?”
Fang barked a laugh. “Especially if it’s lining my pockets, eh.”
“We should get moving now,” Yue started scanning the area. “The scars on the elk may look old, but wood aspected beasts have an especially efficient healing factor. The creature that gave it those wounds could be nearby.
“Alright then, just give me five minutes to clean my sword and wash the blood off in the brook.
As Fang made his way to the brook Li turned towards Yue. “I was wondering, cousin Yue. Why use a bow with a lightning aspected beast core instead of cultivating it yourself? It would seem like the perfect fit to supplement your wind path.”
Yue shook her head, “Well, for one, the lightning aspect is hard on the body. It’s one of the most difficult aspects to cultivate.”
“No offense, but you don’t cross me as the type who would fear a little hard work.”
“No I’m not. But…” Yue trailed off.
“Funds. Right?
Yue gave Fang a regrettable expression. “Lightning is also one of the rarer aspects out there. To learn to adapt to cycling it through my meridians, any large quantity would require me to go through several Grade 2 beast cores. The clan simply doesn’t have those kinds of resources anymore. Our current situation is the reason why the elders requested we take you on this hunt with us. While your own path was designed for smithing the metal and fire aspect have obvious combat applications. They want as many of us prepared to defend the clan as possible. Should our enemies decide to take advantage of our weakness and hasten the clan’s fall.
As Li contemplated the clan’s current predicament, he found himself suddenly slapped with a torrent of water. After recovering from the initial shock, Li looked in Fang’s general direction. And there he was beaming with satisfaction in the brook over 10 paces away, sword in hand.
“You bastard.” Yue screamed.
Fang simply laughed and pulled back his weapon. He dipped the bulk of the cleaver in the water and made a sweeping motion back towards Li and Yue creating another wave of water. The water was accelerated to deceptively high velocities due to his application of force chi to enhance the swing. Yue was ready for him this time however. She generated a wall of wind chi that redirected the wave of water back at Fang. The combined force of the water and Yue’s wind technique knocked Fang off his feet submerging him in the brook’s shallow waters.
Yue laughed.
Li flicked off a piece of the gnarlwood elk’s bark-like carapace off his shoulder with a sigh of irration. “You’re a child cousin Fa-.”
Li found himself smacked hard by a current of air. He went spinning and before he knew his face smacked hard into the dirt, dazed. It took a moment to realize what had happened. Yue had struck him with her own technique. But why? He was only a mortal realm cultivator. She wouldn’t have hit him with an attack that hard, only for her own amusement.
His head was spinning, but Li did his best to lift it up and look around. It was then that he came to realize what had happened.
The impact knocked him a clean fifteen paces away, on the other side of the stream for his own safety. For the predator had arrived to claim its wounded prey.

Last Thursday I made a post where I showed the unlabeled timelines of each Documental season, and wrote that I planning to release all my data showing the entire breakdown of every card given in the first 10 seasons (and the shelved S8).
That time has come.
Reddit posts are limited to 40k characters, so I can't fit all the seasons in one post. However, I was planning to cap off the data post with a post reviewing every season, where I'd divide Documental into three eras (1-4, 5-7, shelved 8 - 10) and try to rank them. Instead, I'll combine the timeline, data, and review into three posts, one for each era. The reviews will go in a comment to save space.
Welcome to the Classic Era (alternatively, the Cookie-Fujimoto Era) of Documental. Introduction and methodology in the comments to save space.
ドキュメンタル。。。スタート！

Season 1

U! S! A!
Documental Season 1 Card Timeline
Winner: None (three-way tie, unofficial winner Anthony)

Contestant	Duo Name	Catchphrase*	Points**	Final Rank
Miyagawa Daisuke (宮川大輔)	(solo)	１、２を争うゲラ (Quick To Laugh)	N/A	7th (Tie)

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Time	Card	Primary Culprit(s)	Secondary Culprit(s)	Description	Category
5:20:25	Yellow	(self), Jimmy		Thwaps Jimmy with a rubber band in his bald spot. Twists the rubber band around his mouth immediately after, he claims he was "trying to make a funny face" but Matsumoto says he was using it to hold back a laugh and "that's wrong".	Boke, Self-Destruct
3:31:49	Orange	kukky		kukky comes out with the Tenga Egg on his head that he inflates.	Immediate, Absurd
2:59:31	Red	kukky, Fujimoto	(self)	["Double elimination"]: Fujimoto initiates cleaning Daisuke's ass of the toilet paper, the killing blow comes when kukky comes and sprays something (perfume)? Both Daisuke and Saito get reds.	Coup de grace, Absurd, Lost Endurance

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Ohchi Yosuke (大地洋輔)	Dienoji (ダイノジ)	エアギター世界王者 (Air Guitar World Champion)	N/A	9th

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5:47:52	Yellow	Jimmy		"Yoshimoto's Al Capone": Ohchi is laughing pretty much throughout the group's conversation about Hachimitsu's shirt (and Fujimoto's "giant wife", per Kubota) but Jimmy coming out with his "mother and child" lamb gets him to laugh, chided for hiding behind cigarette.	Boke, Absurd, Passive, Warning
5:26:26	Safe!	Anthony		Examined during the Saito orange, Ohchi accused of laughing but holding it in during Anthony's "move" which consists of him squeezing his head through the opponent's arm and saying Hello.	Absurd
4:28:33	Red	kukky		Laughs at kukky's joke about his jacket hood being full of tofu, specifically just the joke and the word "tofu", as he even reinacts it "It's soaked in sweat." "Yeah, it's wet." "That's not sweat. There's tofu in there.". He explains that kukky uses tofu as a joke for everything.	Immediate, Boke, ???, Personal, Unfunny

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Kubota Kazunobu (久保田和靖)	"Torosa-mon" [sic.] (とろサーモン)	サイコパス的な。。。(Psychopathic...)	N/A	Survived*** (would have placed 2nd on points)

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1:06:33	Yellow	Anthony		Loses the rock-paper-scissors against Fujimon and has to look at the photo of Anthony's dad (same photo where he blends into background that Kawahara laughs at) first. His voice trembles with a laugh.	Traditional, Strict

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Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史)	"Fujiwara" (FUJIWARA)	嫁への依存心でハングリーになれるか？ (Can He Be Hungry Dependent On His Wife?)	N/A	4th

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5:33:48	Yellow	Jimmy, Daisuke		["They calm me"]: Jimmy and Daisuke line up to play rock-paper-scissors, Daisuke tells Jimmy to put the sheep away and he says they calm them, then Jimmy bursts into laughter. Saito and Fujimoto also caught smiling (albeit Fujimoto smiles in a way that he will always do in the later seasons).	Strict, Warning
2:14:53	Orange	Anthony		A talk starting from Fujimon not needing 10M, name a comedian still popular in their 50s, Ishizuka... Anthony mentions "But I heard that when he does those gourmet reports, he leaves a lot of food." and Fujimoto goes "Hmph!".	Strict, Personal
18:50	Red	Kawahara, (self)		Kawahara goes out with his boxing glove punch strainer dip routine. Fujimoto joins in taking the strainer, and Kawahara hits him in the face with the boxing glove at the end. Fujimoto laughs. "When you get punched that much, you can't help but laugh. I thought, 'What the hell am I doing?'".	Rolling, Absurd, Coup de grace

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kukky (くっきー)	"Yaseibakuden" (野性爆弾)	ドリ客 (Can-ghter)	N/A	5th

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4:34:08	Yellow	Hachimitsu		Laughs at Hachimitsu's black-and-yellow lucha libre mask. Contemporary with Ohchi's orange for laughing throughout. No time given, so I'm going off of the 4:33:18 seen when Ohchi's laughs minus 50 seconds of broadcast time to the start.	Traditional
4:07:16	Orange	Daisuke		["Analympics"]: Daisuke demonstrates the game he used to play in dressing rooms: Analympics, strips underwear and shows anus very fast. Kukky laughs because he had toilet paper crumbs left ("looked like termites"), Hachimitsu and Saito also examined, Saito marked safe but other two get orange.	Vulgar, Immediate, Unexpected
2:19:00	Red	Kubota		Kubota performs an unfunny version of Pikotaro. "B... oo... boobs!" It's not even remotely funny, so kukky laughs. Time not shown so going off starting time.	Unfunny

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Saito Tsukasa (斎藤司)	"Trendy Angel" (トレンディエンジェル)	ハケごときで (His Baldness Is Lame)	N/A	7th (Tie)

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5:33:48	Yellow	Jimmy, Daisuke		Jimmy and Daisuke line up to play rock-paper-scissors, Daisuke tells Jimmy to put the sheep away and he says they calm them, then he bursts into laughter. Saito and Fujimoto also caught smiling.	Boke
5:26:26	Orange	Jimmy		"First orange": After Jimmy gives him his hair, he goes to wash his head. Jimmy "makes a funny face" and Saito laughs. The group insists Jimmy was laughing and hiding his face in the sink but Matsumoto doesn't check up on it. Ohchi also examined and not carded. Since Saito was attacking he gets an orange, which is explained as the last step before red.	Boke
4:07:16	Safe!	Daisuke		["Analympics"]	Vulgar, Immediate

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Kawahara Katsumi (川原克己	"Tenjikunezumi" (天竺鼠)	板尾創路の系譜 (The "Itsuji Itao Type")	N/A	Survived*** (would have placed 3rd on points)

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2:09:52	Yellow	(self)		"That's quite manly of you...": Nobody's ever seen Kawahara laugh, so he decides to show them. He hides his face and uncovers it to indeed reveal him laughing. "I thought he wouldn't make a face at all. But he gave us a full on laugh. It was so unlike him.". His goal was that everybody would laugh in response. Fujimoto does laugh, but after the siren.	!!!
1:12:11	Orange	Anthony		Laughs at Anthony's second photo of his American dad Viktor (a night photo where his dad is barely visible due to his dark skin color).	Traditional

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Hachimitsu Jiro (ハチミツ二郎)	"Tokyo Dynamite" (東京ダイナマイト)	地肩が強い (Mr. Highly Proficient)	N/A	6th

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5:59:17	Safe!	(self)		["First siren on Documental"]: pretty much everyone is laughing, but specifically Jiro's smile as he introduces himself to Jimmy and Jimmy's "stretched mouth" after Kawahara introduces himself as "Kyojin from All Hanshin" get called out.	Lost Concentration, Fun
5:00:25	Yellow	Jimmy		Jimmy eats the bun with the wasabi clearly on it, there's still one more, Hachimitsu laughs as he says "It should be okay...".	Lost Concentration
4:07:16	Orange	Daisuke		["Analympics"]	Vulgar, Immediate
2:50:51	Red	Fujimon	(self)	Earlier on, as Hachimitsu shows off the lucha libre masks, he stands on a chair and breaks it, and Ohchi swings a broken part of the chair around like a tonfa. Later, Kawahara is doing a running joke where he takes credit for other things, and replicated Ohchi's joke. Hachimitsu remarks that he made that and Fujimon says "You didn't make it". They repeat this exchange and Hachimitsu smiles. Fujimoto is stunned as Hachimitsu smiled at the simplest possible tsukkomi response: "What else should I say? You didn't make it." In the interview after, Hachimitsu talks about how he lost his focus, and couldn't understand why Fujimoto was so persistent about something so trivial, as "When you think about it, I made that prop".	Tsukkomi, Lost Concentration

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Anthony (アントニー	"Matenrou" (マテンロウ)	毛色が違う (A Horse of a Different Color)	N/A	Survived*** (would have placed 1st on points)

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3:21:16	Yellow	(self)	kukky	Anthony puts on kukky's Tenga Egg and enjoys it, saying "This is fun" but smiling as he does.	Lost Concentration, Fun
1:16:37	Orange	(self)		Laughs "like at a normal dinner" while showing Fujimon his kindergarten photo.	Lost Concentration, Fun

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Jimmy Onishi (ジミー大西)	(solo)	化物 (Monster)	N/A	10th

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5:59:17	Safe!	Kawahara		["First siren on documental"]	Traditional
5:33:48	Yellow	(self), Daisuke		["They calm me"]	Boke
5:26:26	Safe!	(self)		["First orange"]	Boke
4:56:08	Red	Fujimon	(self)	Hachimitsu says Fujimon is close to laughing and Fujimon complains about Jimmy: "But he keeps drinking!" (after they agreed using bottles to hide a laugh is a foul). Jimmy laughs and gets mad at Fujimon, saying he was only drinking because the wasabi was still hot and he kept tricking Jimmy into laughing.	???

FINAL WORDS:

Anthony: You act like you're the best, but you're hopeless. ([小僧?]一番出来る感じ出して、なんてないっす。）
Kubota: Hm?
(silence)

Season 2

The legendary 657 seconds. A true fight to the death. This is Documental.
Documental Season 2 Card Timeline
Winner: Kotouge (2 remaining, won 3-0 on points)

Contestant	Duo Name	Catchphrase*	Points	Final Rank	Likelihood To Win**
Yoshimura Takashi (吉村崇)	Heisei Nobushikobushi (平成ノブシコブシ)	破天荒芸人 (The Wild Cannon Comedian)	1	3rd	5th

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Time	Card	Primary Culprit(s)	Secondary Culprit(s)	Description	Category
4:28:29	Yellow	Jimmy		["Reshuffled"]: Jimmy gets his balls sucked in the vaccuum and reacts to the pain: "Look at my balls, they've been reshuffled (互い違い)". Matsumoto says everyone could be called out but Yoshimura and Tsuda were clear outs, giving everyone a yellow as a coincidence. The two assert that at first they had no idea what Jimmy meant, but his balls had indeed moved "not just up and down, there was a lateral transfer too".	Boke, Verbal, Vulgar, Physical
20:25	Orange	Fujimoto		As Fujimoto undresses, Joyman falls out. Turns out Fujimoto had stuck Joyman inside his underwear, and it even stuck to his butt for a moment.	Unexpected, Trap
10:56	Red	Kotouge		Kotouge spits water onto the photo of Tsuda's mother and yells "old hag!". Almost all of it richochets onto Yoshimura.	Unexpected, Physical

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Miyagawa Daisuke (宮川大輔)	(solo)	楽屋での密室芸 (The Closed-Door Backstage Artist)	0	10th	2nd

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5:28:02	Safe!	Jimmy		["Yam-jelly"]: Jimmy "quits priesthood" and strips, uncovering his smelly yam-jelly dick (konnyaku) covering. Himura laughs, says Daisuke laughed as he looks down but Matsumoto rules it as after the red siren.	Absurd, Boke
5:20:39	Yellow	Jimmy, Himura, (self)		["Atsui/Itai"]: Daisuke shoots a rubber band at Jimmy's ass, Jimmy responds with "Atsui!" (It's hot!). Himura starts to tsukkomi Jimmy saying that's not right, he should say "Itai!" (It hurts!) instead. Miyagawa all along is holding it in, eventually hissing out a laugh (Matsumoto-san! Matsumoto-san!), and says Himura was laughing too but Matsumoto says the cameras didn't catch Himura.	Boke, Lost Endurance
4:17:38	Red	Jimmy, (self)		Jimmy washes his head and is soaking wet, Daisuke offers Jimmy a towel, Jimmy says No thanks, Daisuke chuckles as he responds "Why? It's just..." (... a towel.). Asked why he laughed he repeats this story over and over. He was just talking with Jimmy as he normally would and lost his concentration.	???, Boke, Lost concentration

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Oshima Miyuki (大島美幸)	Morisantyu (森三中)	女芸人登場 (The First Female Competitor)	1	8th	9th

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5:42:01	Yellow	(self)		Hands her panties to Jimmy, then they get examined by the group: "Do you play baseball in them or something?".	Self-destruct
4:58:21	Orange	Kotouge, Kojima	Fujimon	As the group rags on Kojima being unfunny with his wooden drum, Fujimon points out there's a "wooden drum right next to him" (Kotouge) and Kojima gets spurred to play him. Kojima thwacks Kotouge on the head with his mallet a bit too hard and Kotouge reacts in pain.	Physical
3:29:16	Red	(self), Jimmy		"A poorly written mystery:" Oshima makes Jimmy ramen. He eats it and complains it's sweet. "You put sugar in it, didn't you? Oshimaaa!" She can't hold it in. After the red card she reveals she made Jimmy's ramen half-filled with orange juice - Jimmy's still angry as she leaves.	Self-destruct, Boke, Trap

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Himura Yuki (日村勇紀)	Bananaman (バナナマン)	笑いの有段者 (The Black Belt Comedian)	0	5th

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5:28:02	Yellow	Jimmy		["Yam-jelly"]	Absurd, Boke, Passive
5:20:39	Safe	Jimmy, (self), Daisuke		["Atsui/Itai"]	Boke, Passive
2:01:01	Orange	Kotouge	(self), Fujimoto, Yoshimura, Saito	Fujimoto starts a sketch with his screaming mouth mask. Yoshimura joins in with his beer liker cap mask. Saito comes in with the titty cap as if it was really funny, and that turns off the pressure. Then Kotouge comes out with absolutely nothing (he wanted to join, but they already ended), and Himura laughs as he realizes Kotouge doesn't have anything.	Passive, Unexpected
1:27:56	Red	Kotouge		Kotouge does Akira 100% while getting his balls slurped by the vaccuum. On the suggestion that he do it standing on the tray, he slips and impales himself on the trunk behind him. Himura laughs when he sees the bruise that Kotouge has from it.	Physical, Passive

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Kojima Kazuya (児嶋一哉)	Unjash (アンジャッシュ）	木偶の坊 (The Dunce)	0	9th	7th

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4:37:54	Yellow	Jimmy, Yoshimura		["Under the konnyaku"]: Jimmy brings in the vaccuum cleaner, Yoshimura says "What if we try under the konnyaku?" and sucks up his genitals, Jimmy reacts in pain as expected. Matsumoto comes for Kojima but group says Kotouge was who they all saw, both get yellows.	Physical
4:08:07	Orange	Kotouge		Kotouge comes out wearing a chainmail helmet and proclaims "If you hit me (again), it wouldn't hurt at all". Kojima hits him again and it hurts - it didn't work at all. Matsumoto checks to see whether to give an orange (warning) or another yellow (which would mean a red), but gives him orange because he was attacking.	Physical, Rolling
3:46:45	Red	Fujimon, Kotouge	Saito	"An incredible stutter": Saito attempts a titty gag but nobody laughs and the group around the porthole point out that's all he's been trying. Kotouge gives an "unclear stutter" as he says "You only brought titties to thish sh-show..." ("お前今日、おっぱいしか（？？？）じゃない、この番組。。。” and Fujimon reacts with a "Hm?". Discussion as to whether it counts as Kotouge's point, Kojima says he laughed at Fujimon's "Hm?" reaction. Saito says he set it up but Matsumoto says it wasn't even remotely funny.	Tsukkomi, Unexpected

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Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史)	Fujiwara (FUJIWARA）	ムードメーカー (The Moodmaker)	4	4th	6th

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4:42:40	Yellow	Tsuda		Tsuda brings in the photo of his mom at 14 hula hooping, tells the story of her bad-smelling farts, and reveals that she was a javelin thrower. The group locks on to Fujimon and makes him look at the photo. "Textbook comedy".	Traditional
59:52	Orange	(self)	Saito	"Are 200 watts funny?": trying to do his nose hair remover and heating it up in the microwave, it isn't working. Fujimon insists it will work. Saito: Doesn't that say 200 watts? Fujimon: It only has 200 watts. Saito: 500 watts before. Fujimon: Well, this won't work... it's broken. He chuckles casually while saying that last phrase for some reason. After the card, the group repeats 200 watts to try to make Fujimoto laugh.	???, Lost Concentration
16:16	Red	Yoshimura		"Revenge of the Joyman": During the seltzer-chug challenge, Yoshimura puts Joyman on the bottom of the water bottle, getting revenge for his own orange from Fujimon.	Traditional

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Saito Shinji (斉藤慎二)	Jungle Pocket (ジャングルポケット）	唯一無二の個性 (A Unique Character)	0	2nd (Survived, lost on points)	10th

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4:49:37	Yellow	Jimmy		During Kojima's skit, the microwave beeps. What did you heat? Jimmy answers Strawberry candy (earlier, during Fujimon's "Cat's Eye, Dog Nose... add one more" associated word exchange with Kotouge, Jimmy answered with the complete non-sequitur Strawberry Candy). The group thought Jimmy laughed but Saito is called out for suspiciously eating bread right after that statement.	Absurd, Boke

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Tsuda Atsuhiro (津田篤宏	Daian (ダイアン)	ナニワが抜けてない (He Still Reeks Of Old-Style Osaka)	1	6th	8th

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4:28:29	Yellow	Jimmy		["Reshuffled"]	Boke, Verbal, Vulgar, Physical
4:00:37	Orange	(Yoshimura or Fujimon, whoever brought Joyman and laid the trap)		As Tsuda shows the picture of his silver-capped-tooth mother, he turns around and sees a trap: somebody placed Joyman's Takagi on the hula hoop. He goes "Heh!" and Matsumoto lets him off with a "any mistake and you're done, this orange card is virtually a yellow"***.	Trap, Strict
3:01:00	Red	(self), Fujimon		Laughs throughout his Masayuki Suzuki impression (Chigau, chiiii-gau, sou jya na-iii...), final laugh after Fujimon's "See you in Yoyogi" (5 o' clo...).	Self-destruct, Tsukkomi

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Kotouge Eiji (小峠英二)	Viking (バイきんぐ)	怒り芸 (The Anger Artist)	3	1st (Survived, won on points)	4th

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4:37:54	Yellow	Jimmy, Yoshimura		["Under the konnyaku"]	Physical, Boke
1:13:24	Orange	Fujimon	Saito	Saito tries inhaling the helium that he brought but it doesn't work for him. Fujimon shows him how it's done and says "Hello". Kotouge has a slight smirk, the group defends him (We don't want to see him expelled just for that...) and he gets an orange.	Strict, Traditional

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Jimmy Onishi (ジミー大西)	(solo)	異星からの贈り物 (A Gift From Outer Space)	9	7th	3rd

​

5:56:42	Orange***	(self)		Laughs casually as he's distributing his "crackers for friendship".	Lost Concentration
5:42:01	Yellow***	Oshima		Oshima hands her panties to Jimmy, then they get examined by the group: "Do you play baseball in them or something?". Oshima laughs but Jimmy gets caught too.	Traditional
3:21:27	Red	Fujimon		Fujimoto randomly does the Ice Bucket Challenge (after Saito spits on Kotouge's head to wash off his "hair").	Unexpected, Absurd, Immediate

FINAL WORDS:
What will we do? Thirty seconds... time for one more. It has to be... (rubber chicken sque-eak).
(Followed after final bell by 'Wait wait wait, please..." "It's over").

Season 3

Squeee... squeee squeee squeee... (Toos! Haah!)
Documental Season 3 Card Timeline
Winner: Yamamoto (2 remaining, won 1-0 on points)

Contestant	Duo Name	Catchphrase	Points	Final Rank
Kendo Kobayashi (ケンドーコバヤシ)	(solo)	無冠の嘘帝王 (An Emperor Without A Crown) / 不惑のTHEエロス (A Merciless Pervert)	2	4th

​

Time	Card	Primary Culprit(s)	Secondary Culprit(s)	Description	Category
3:40:40	Yellow	Kasuga		["Kasuga after the bell"]: They look at Kasuga's dick during the bell, but immediately after: "Can you show us again?". Kendo looks down but RG goes "bu-bu". Matsumoto comes for Kendo first "but what's the story with RG?". No time given but after the bell is 3h4040s, so I'll go with that.	Physical, Vulgar, Joins in
3:31:36	Orange	Kasuga, Goto		["Curry rice"]: Immediately after Kendo's previous card, Goto asks to try putting the curry rice in there. Kasuga does and it comes at slowly - the speed at which it's served makes him laugh, but Kasuga is said to be smiling during it as well, though I don't see it.	Physical, Vulgar
1:25:45	Red	kukky (zombie)	Date (zombie)	["Teddy Bear-chan enters"]: Date as the daddy brings out kukky's Teddy Bear-chan for the first time. Kasuga and Kendo get reds.	Absurd, Immediate, Routine

​

Goto Terumoto (後藤輝基)	Footballhour (フットボールアワー)	ツッコミスナイパー: "Comedy Sniper"	2	7th

​

5:01:01	Yellow	kukky		Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly the green head one - "you have no respect for these veterans, it's downright rude".	Traditional, Absurd, Coup de grace, Prepared, Prop
3:47:48	Orange	(self), Iwahashi, Kasuga		"A remarkable coincidence": Kasuga shows off his pubic area and Goto calls his skin smooth (tsuru-tsuru: つるつる), and Iwahashi says "Brings back memories, right?" as he at the same time was making a paper crane (tsuru: 鶴). Goto laughs all-out but he's spared, as "I have never seen such a coincidence in my life.".	???, !!!, Unexpected
2:46:35	Red	Kendo, (self)		Kendo comes out as Yuriko Koike. Goto asks him: "Are you moving the markets to Toyosu?" the response: "Not anymore. Changed it again. Jakuzure." Goto laughs at the response: "Why would you build a fish market there?".	Impersonation, Quip

​

Akiyama Ryuji (秋山竜次)	Robert (ロバート)	千のキャラを持つ男: "The Man of a Thousand Characters"	1	5th

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3:41:23	Yellow	Kasuga, (self)	Goto, Kendo	Kasuga shows off his privates and his impressive foreskin as Goto eats a sausage. "How can you eat while seeing that?" Goto is tasked to eat while face-to-face with Kasuga's foreskin. Kendo sits down next to him. Akiyama jumps in too but laughs - "I don't usually laugh at things like that. But his foreskin was even more impressive than I imagined". Matsmoto only gives him a yellow as "He jumped into that by himself. I take such efforts into consideration.".	Jumps In, Vulgar, Physical
3:22:47	Orange	Kasuga, Goto		Kasuga puts the mini eel bento eraser out of his foreskin. "Almost all of you were laughing. But if we go down there, there will be no end. So the guy who stood out the most is out. Akiyama." Akiyama: "I held on the whole time, but then he started clenching his body. Nobody guessed it wouldn't come out. Then he tried to push it out with while whole body, and an eel bento popped out.".	Vulgar, Physical
1:39:46	Red	Yamamoto	Kendo	During Kendo's conversation with Yamamoto about why the latter "went away", Yamamoto reveals he's been sucking on Iwahashi's pills from before, still, without chewing. 1h41m09s shown earlier. Final time.	Traditional, Unexpected

​

Kinoshita Takayuki (木下隆行)	TKO (TKO)	本気芝居入道 (True Bald Actor)	0	[2nd (Survived, lost on points)

​

2:15:21	Yellow	Iwahashi, (self)		Makes Iwahashi play his "Can do it or Can't do it?" game. The first card is Chomi from Chomi-Choko and Iwahashi insists he could "do her".	Counter, Boke
44:37	Orange	Akiyama (zombie), Kendo (zombie)		"The sweat laugh": One of the most memorable endurance trials in Documental history, the sweat laugh. Akiyama and Kendo's VIP service routine, where Akiyama is a Chinese masseuse who massages Kendo with oil and continuously offers 30-minute extensions, lymph node massages, and the "Double Dip Course", involving massaging his groin. Kendo says he's "about to blow", and Akiyama says he has to finish himself in the shower. You can hear Kendo shower in the changing room as Akiyama sings something in Chinese. All along, Kinoshita is sitting there trying to endure without laughing, to the point where he has a physical reaction and sweat pours down his face. After Akiyama starts singing, he breaks and laughs out loud.	Passive, Explosive, Lost Endurance, Vulgar, Routine

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Kasuga Toshiaki (春日俊彰)	Audrey (オードリー)	奇怪なる節約魔獣 (A Bizarre Thrifty Monster)	6	3rd

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3:31:36	Yellow	Kasuga, Goto		["Curry rice"]	Self-destruct, Strict
2:39:28	Orange	Akiyama		Akiyama comes out with the panty mask and the penis enlarger stretching device he got from a magazine he writes for.	Vulgar, Prepared, Prop, Absurd, Immediate
1:25:45	Red	kukky (zombie)	Date (zombie)	["Teddy Bear-chan enters"]	Absurd, Immediate, Routine

​

kukky (くっきー)	Yaseibakudan (野性爆弾)	綱渡り放送コード (Walking The Tightrope Of The Broadcast Laws) / 正真正銘最終兵器 (The Ultimate Weapon)	4	10th

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5:15:39	Yellow	Goto	Yamamoto, Kasuga, Kinoshita	The massage tappers brought by Kinoshita keep getting held by Yamamoto after Kasuga's sixpad performance. Eventually they try it on a shirtless Goto holding the "guitar" (violin), and Cookie laughs after he joins in a bit saying "bi-bi-bi".	Join in, Absurd
4:05:07	Red	Goto	(self)	Earlier Cookie gave Goto the pull tab with the mini sushi eraser (that Goto brought). Goto returned the favor by giving a pull tab with a mini curry inside. Cookie laughs full-on and gets a red.	Trap

​

RG	Razor Ramon (レイザーラモン)	進撃のあるあるシンガー (The Attack of the Observational Humor Singer) / 日本のアイアンハート (The Iron Heart of Japan)	0	8th

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4:36:45	Yellow	(self), Cookie		RG writes UFO backwards on his forehead accidentally (because he did it in a mirror), Cookie asks "Why is ON written on your forehead" (note that UFO backwards (O=	U) sort of looks like ON).
4:34:34	Orange	Kendo?, (self)	Yamamoto	Immediately after RG's previous card, they get watermelon rinds to eat, and somebody (sounds like Kendo?) asks "Can you eat like Shimura?". RG smiles	Lost Concentration
3:40:40	Red	Kasuga		["Kasuga after the bell"]:They look at Kasuga's dick during the bell, but immediately after: "Can you show us again?". Kendo looks down but RG goes "bu-bu". Matsumoto comes for Kendo first "but what's the story with RG?". No time given but after the bell is 3h4040s, so I'll go with that.	Physical, Vulgar, Passive

​

Date Mikio (伊達みきお)	Sandwichman (サンドウィッチマン)	金髪ブタおしゃべり野郎 (Blond Chatty Pig)	0	9th

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4:57:27	Orange	kukky		Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly a shrunken head one. Given an orange because he laughs out loud (after saying "I can't take this" - Master Daisuke's head gets smaller and smaller).	Prop, Lost Endurance, Explosive
3:54:33	Red	(self), Kinoshita		Who broke Kinoshita's mirror. Date - you are a girl. Proof - show us your breasts. He shows his stomach - one level higher. Date smiles twice - once while showing one breast, the second time for the other. All I did was show a nipple and go "hmmph".	Self-destruct, ???, Strict

​

Iwahashi Yoshimasa (岩橋良昌)	Plus Minus (プラス・マイナス)	やってはいけない症候群 (Compulsive Behavior)	1	6th

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4:36:45	Safe	RG, Cookie		RG writes UFO backwards on his forehead accidentally (because he did it in a mirror), Cookie asks "Why is ON written on your forehead"?. Iwahashi not carded but Matsumoto accuses him of using his condition as an excuse.	Warning
2:35:07	Orange	Kendo	(self), Yamamoto	Laughed in the middle of a normal conversation: Iwahashi says he needs to shave the side of his head but his wife can't do it. Kendo: "You have a wife?" Iwahashi: "I have a wife. And two kids." Kendo: "She must be crazy.". Iwahashi laughs because he was so relieved Yamamoto took the razor that he relaxed like in a salon.	Lost Concentration, Fun
1:50:50	Red	Kasuga	(self)	Iwahashi bring the "Strange Supplement" supposed to make you lose taste, and demonstrates it. Kasuga tries it with condensed milk, tabasco that makes him cough (though he insists it's not spicy), and mustard. The mustard also makes him cough, and Iwahashi cracks up (putting on the glasses and buck teeth), because "It was funny watching him pretend he's okay. He kept pretending. In the end he couldn't pretend". Kasuga was pretending all along.	Lost Endurance, Boke, Explosive

​

Yamamoto Keiichi (山本圭壱)	Gokuraku Tombo (極楽とんぼ)	蘇る金豚 (Resurrection of the Golden Pig)	1	1st (survived, won on points)

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5:49:25	Yellow	(self)	(room), Iwahashi, Kinoshita	According to Matsumoto, Yamamoto was just constantly smiling for the first ten minutes due to the mood in the room: happy to be there.	Fun, Lost Concentration, Warning
5:04:03	Orange	kukky		Laughs at kukky's "ghost photo" of Master Daisuke, particularly the shrunken head one. Unusually, no time shown after so time is based on shot during Yamamoto's rampage after.	Prop

FINAL WORDS:
A series of squeaks and sighs.

Season 4

In the space between you and the sky / Today, too, a golden rain falls...
Documental Season 4 Card Timeline
Winner: kukky (4 remaining, won 4-2-1-1 on points)

Contestant	Duo Name	Catchphrase	Points	Final Rank
Nobu (ノブ)	Chidori (千鳥)	ツッコミ界のクセ強者 (The Tricky Straight Man)	0	10th

​

Time	Card	Primary Culprit(s)	Secondary Culprit(s)	Description	Category
5:40:25	Safe	Daigo, Kurochan		["Stick to your mustache"]: Kurochan drinks milk, when told by Daigo "It'll stick to your mustache" he drinks it in one gulp and it doesn't stick to his mustache. Daigo laughs first, Nobu judged safe.	Boke
5:02:50	Yellow	(self)	Fujimoto	Daigo and Nobu accidentally get into a pose that Nobu explains looks like they're "young actors doing a photoshoot". He poses with Fujimon, who shrugs him off. Nobu laughs as everyone looks at him, just from setting up the joke.	Self-destruct
3:51:53	Orange	kukky		The famous "Kaan!" laugh. kukky hands out collectible photos of Master Daisuke with obscene phrases. Nobu tries to hold it in, making goofy faces as he does, but the normal phrase "I'm gonna buy some Yomeishu" hits him "like a body blow", and he lets out a laugh with a "Kaan!" sound.	Explosive, Lost Endurance, Coup de grace, Prop
2:59:42	Red	Iio, Fujimoto		Iio pulls out his oogiri responses, and it turns into an oogiri game with Fujimoto playing support, revealing the Nishizawa's phone case of Master Sakata, "say a word for this photo" (写真で一言). After a series of attacks where Nobu gets weaker, Iio comes up with new responses (normal oogiri), the one that gets Nobu to crack is "I love you." (好きだ！).	Personal, Prop, Lost Endurance

​

Itoda Jun (井戸田潤)	Speed Wagon (スピードワゴン)	同情するなら笑いくれ (If You Feel Sorry For Me, Laugh)	0	7th

​

1:54:03	Yellow	Daigo	Miyasako	["The Nose"]: Miyasako makes everyone perform a gag to eat his steak. Daigo puts netting around his face with a hole cutout for the nose. "I'm here to play The Nose". Itoda and kukky checked, kukky is safe and Itoda gets a yellow for "defending himself too much like that".	Traditional, Absurd
29:56	Red	Nobu (zombie), Daigo (zombie), Miyasako		["Oh, I ended up pissing"]: Chidori performs their "ika nikan!?" standup (as Matsumoto points out, the exact same skit they performed the day before, at Lumine, at which Matsumoto's daughter laughed) naked, after which they talk about how Daigo was unable to get hard and in the end he wore a condom. Miyasako says he was afraid Daigo would end up pissing with the condom on, and Daigo says he can't piss either. As Miyasako turns away and holds in his laugher, Nobu begins pissing. Miyasako turns back around to see it and laughs hard - Itoda get caught up laughing too.	Vulgar, Unexpected

​

Fujimoto Toshifumi (藤本敏史)	Fujiwara (FUJIWARA)	ガヤ永久機関 (The Perennial Supporting Commedian)	2	5th

​

4:41:44	Yellow	Kurochan	(self)	Iio starts measuring in bananas, Kurochan starts performing various gags with bananas. Fujimoto eggs him on. Kurochan does a "Nipple beams, they point outwards, heart!" gag, and Fujimoto laughs because "he said outwards, but they're pointing sideways!".	Boke, Verbal
3:49	Red	Iio (zombie), Nobu (zombie)	Itoda (zombie), Miyasako (zombie)	The four zombies come in and do the fighting geezer factions skit (from 24-Hour No Laughing?), involving blowing air into Iio and Nobu's anuses. Fujimon laughs because of a combination of Iio farting (how could he do soemthing like that? after all these years (he's 48) as a pro?) and Nobu being unable to fart (if he can piss, why can't he fart?).	Vulgar, Unexpected, Absurd

​

kukky (くっきー)	Yaseibakudan (野性爆弾)	芸人殺し芸人 (The Comedian Killer)	[4	1st (survived, won on points)

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5:23:42	Yellow	Fujimoto	(self)	During the group conversation on souvenirs, talking about edible chili oil. "Pengin Shokudo started it off." Cookie tries to go on the offensive by responding "Who "ur" that?" (ペンギン食堂？なんなら？). Fujimoto goes up to him and asks remember "throwable dumplings"? ("投げるシューマイって覚えてる？”), a completely made-up thing in response to the edible chili oil. Cookie laughs at the imagery.	Verbal, Unexpected, Absurd
1:54:03	Safe	Daigo	Miyasako	["The Nose"]	Traditional, Absurd

​

Kurosawa Kazuko (黒沢かずこ)	Morisantyu (森三中)	歌って踊れる肉塊 (She Sings, She Dances, And She's Chubby)	1	4th (survived, lost on points)

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4:57:36	Yellow	(self), Nishizawa		Kurosawa goes around and feeds people pickled cucumbers, giving Nishizawa a "big load". He spits it out and Kurosawa laughs because it came out bigger then she expected, as he chewed it and it comes out mashed.	Self-destruct, Physical
4:51:19	Orange	(self)		"I want to pick up a man"... picks Itoda for her skit where comes home drunk and she plays the wife, but she smiles during the beginning of the skit (maybe too in character).	Self-destruct

​

Daigo (大悟)	Chidori (千鳥)	荒くれハニカミ坊主 (The Bashful Ruffian)	2	9th

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5:40:25	Yellow	(self), Kurochan		["Stick to your mustache"]	Counter, Unexpected, ???
5:14:33	Orange	Miyasako		Miyasako brings out one squeaking rubber chicken, then brings out many and squeezes them all at the same time.	Prop, Absurd, Traditional
1:19:52	Red	kukky!, Kurosawa, Fujimoto, Mishizawa		The legendary foursome: Kurosawa sings, Fujimoto dances unwillingly with the gold leotard and the tattoo of his partner, Mishizawa joins in with his student looking for Puma wallet character, and finally kukky comes out as the Teddy Bear-chan, in his I <3 2 PARTY leotard. Matsumoto: "To be honest, he was laughing for a while." Daigo: "I made that face that said "What's so funny aobut this?" and kept that character.	Lost Endurance, Absurd, Passive, Warning

​

Iio Kazuki (飯尾和樹)	Zun (ずん)	関根流 正統系統者 (The Legitimate Successor of the Sekine Style)	1	8th

​

4:18:21	Yellow	Kurosawa		Kurosawa's Mao Daichi "Straddle Time!" ("あ！あ！お跨ぎさ！") skit, riding the rope. She continues singing it into the locker room, and the siren goes off. The contestants conclude Kurosawa laughed, but Matsumoto says it was Iio who was holding it in and could no longer. Iio says "it was the vibration on the rope when she rubbed it that got me".	Routine, Lost Endurance
2:23:22	Orange	(self)	Fujimoto, Kurosawa	Fujimoto places an (apricot pit?), Iio adds tabasco, Kurosawa picks it up with her mouth. What follows is a cycle of many members sucking it up and spitting it down. Iio sucks it up and is caught laughing, explaining "It was so slimy, I nearly vomited.".	Physical, Join in
1:04:54	Red	Miyasako		Miyasako comes out with a hard-on: "Who left this porn magazine here? In the middle of a serious battle?" The ability to get a hard-on in this situation impresses everyone, but Iio is the one whose face laughs.	Vulgar, Physical, Routine

​

Nishizawa Yusuke (西澤裕介)	Daian	不可思議ポーカーフェイス (The Mysterious Poker Face)	1	3rd (survived, lost on points)

​

3:42:57	Yellow	Miyasako	(self)	Nishizawa gives out phone cases with Yoshimoto masters, one of which is Master Osamu. Miyasako tells the story of how Master Osamu has an elevator in his house that's super slow. Have you ever been there? Goes like this... and imitates it. "Most natural laugh yet".	Personal

​

Kurochan (クロちゃん)	Yausda Dai Circus (安田大サーカス)	ドッキリ日本記録保持者 (The Most-Pranked Comedian in Japan)	2	2nd (survived, lost on points)

​

56:44	Yellow	kukky	Itoda, (self)	kukky is cleaning up Itoda's piss (after the members try to figure out what Kurochan's weak at and he replies with dirty jokes, like touching somebody's balls, and Itoda pisses after the stimulation of Miyasako touching his balls (and Fujimon beginning a chorus of Sora to kimi to no aida). Cookie cleans it up and Kurochan hands him one sheet of a paper towel. Cookie complains "Don't just hand me one sheet! If you hand me just one sheet I'll get piss on my hand" and Kurochan smiles as he thinks "Yeah, he'll get piss on him".	Lost Concentration, Tsukkomi, Verbal, ???

​

Miyasako Hiroyuki (宮迫博之)	Ameagari (ダイアン)	決死のオフホワイト芸人 (The Not-So-Faithful Do-Or-Die Comedian)	3	6

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2:12:20	Yellow	kukky	Daigo	kukky puts on his Shinya Yamamoto makeup. Starts playing with Daigo, "the distance between Sigourney Weaver and the alien". kukky's skit involves acting slowly, playing with his dentures, putting them in Daigo's mouth, putting on sunglasses, pulling out a banana, putting the dentures in Daigo's mouth... the room is tense, but Miyasako is the first to break when kukky nibbles the tip of the banana but it comes out intact: "He didn't even get one bite!".	Lost Endurance, Coup de grace, Absurd, Passive
29:56	Red	Nobu (zombie), Daigo (zombie), Miyasako		["Oh, I ended up pissing"]	Vulgar, Unexpected, Explosive

​
FINAL WORDS:
COOKIE: "Is it really your anus?" （本当肛門に入れてる？） KUROCHAN: He mimicked me. (何か真似した。。。)

[F] Jocoby Malor
994 .M41 - Torian sector; Plotesian Sub
The Bane of Foes, a colossal strike cruiser, sailed through the warp like a leviathan of the sea. The ship, as vast as a celestial metropolis, sailed through the clawing, shrieking madness of tortured non-reality. Its gellar field, a supernatural armor, protected the vessel from the grips of phantasmal beasts and unborn nightmare horrors.
Studded along this behemoth's titanic form were macrocannons. Double-edged like a sword, they flanked the ship, five to each side. This bulky planet destroyer, a testament to the gothic fury of the Imperium, held the capacity to tear asunder ships twice its size - a feat it had enacted on numerous war fronts within the depths of the Torian sector. Nestled beneath it lay orbital gun platforms, divine instruments of judgment designed to reduce cities to cinders. Fusion beamers, lascannons, railguns - all primed, all thirsty for the blood of the God Emperor's foes. The Bane was poised and ready for battle as it sailed towards the planet of Nialos Prime. It stood ready to enact divine retribution of the throne.
Within this monolithic beast, servitors labored in the hull, walked the gantries, and codified the data. These grotesque hybrids of flesh and machine labored without end, tireless drones who analyzed vast reams of data and shifted munitions, several tons in weight, to the ship's weapon batteries. Serfs, the fallen aspirants of the Trioris Valorum, navigated this frenetic chaos with a practiced ease, born of long servitude. Cloaked in cream-colored robes, they were entrusted with the sacred rites within the strike cruiser - from honing enormous swords twice their size in weight and height, to inscribing bolt shells with holy prayers of deference and hate to the God Emperor.
In the landing bay stood the Astartes, Space Marines! Humanity's stalwart guardians and the lantern bearers in this age of cosmic darkness. Each one was a walking testament to war. Humans reborn by gene science and baptized in the furious flames of battle, were holding at bay the monstrous terrors of the galaxy.
Five full squads were formed in disciplined rows, their poise echoing the martial precision of an army of angels. Jacoby Malor and his squad brothers of the Knights Of Valor Chapter stood ready for their debriefing and prayer ritual - an old and venerated fraternity, These Knights were tempered in the hearth of ceaseless battle and honed into a killing edge.
The bay itself was also a hallowed sanctum for those embarking into the jaws of death. Flickering candles and braziers filled with potent incense transformed it into a cathedral of imminent battle. Serfs chanted in High Gothic, their voices rising in a litany of war and honor. In a panoply of lightning yellow and stormcloud gray, the serfs attended to each warrior's power armor with devotion. Deftly anointing the Aquilas on their breastplates with twice blessed oil, stamping purity seals and the oaths of moment to shoulder guards, and securing the tools of wrath to their waists.
Jacoby was attached to Tactical Squad Numion, designation: Bladed Light. The fourth squad within the Third Battle Company. Led by Brother Sergeant Simon Traegle, his brothers in arms, a ten-man squad, carried their own legacy of battle within the contingent.
There in front, stood Lance Fultar. He had been with the squad since before the Sergeant was honored with his current role. He was the Sergeant’s second and the banner bearer for the squad. Aloft on his power pack was the banner itself, obsidian like the void. In the middle of the ancient, heavy fabric was a sword pointing to the heavens. Achievements were written in exquisite scrawl design on the blade's length, depicting the deeds the squad took part in throughout its centuries of service. Angels in gray robes were on either side of the tapestry. One hand raised to blare a horn while the other gripped a shining sword the color of citrine hilt down. A laurel wreath with a gold ribbon above it surrounded the sword's tip. The ribbon had the words “Duty Unto Death” stenciled in bold High Gothic. There, to his front right was Travis Hoatepion, heavy weapons and explosives expert, his Heavy Bolter held in both gauntlets. He led two other heavy weapon specialists within the formation. Saulinious Fugïr and Paul Rottly, who held Plasma Cannon and Multi Melta, respectively. To either side of Jacoby were Johan Holt and Caspian Hellteris, his Faetutiuos Coditum, his Fate's Companions. They began together as aspirants. They trained together as neophytes. Now, they fight together as full-blooded Astartes. For, in the fifty-six years of warring together, this would be their first time serving in an actual Blade squadron. No more sensoria scenarios. No more live-fire exercises. The yoke was off, and he was glad to have his Fated by his side in this action.
Serfs crescendoed in their dirge as three more giants walked into the bay from a side hatch. Their steps were heavy enough to shake the braziers and flicker the candles in their stands. With a final note of solemnity, the serfs stepped back behind the formation and filed out as the trio continued forward.
To the right of the trio was Steward Romero. One of five war priests who held the chronicles and deeds of the chapter. Skull helmet on and in all black, save for his left pauldron which held the chapter symbol, he came like a death that was promised - a living legend and spiritual guide, he would stoke the flames of hate when the time for battle commenced.
To the left was Blade Saint Chrolorian Rex. Company champion and hero, even to the Astartes assembled, was regal in his manner. Smooth, flowing, every swaggering step speaking to his skill as a bladesman. His power armor was richly adorned and ornate with battle honors, his very being seemed to glow with a radiant gleam. His broadsword, Indominus Valorus, hung behind his back just as he hung behind his Fated.
That fated brother was Captain Kylen Rostone, centermost in the trio. Liege lord and commander of the company. His half cloak was draped over his right side. The powered longsword, Wrath, was scabbarded and hung on the same side. His left arm, as if dipped in its substance, gleamed silver displaying the Deathwatch iconography in bold italics on the same shoulder guard. Command radiated off of him as he continued forward.
All three came to a halt in front of the formations of battle-hardened killers. The Captain, with his helmet under one arm, took his time scrutinizing his warriors. His face was relaxed, yet firm. Like old leather, it was creased and pitted with age. A scar ran diagonally from his forehead to jaw line. All those details were rendered moot compared to his eyes. Emerald bright, his rich green gaze landed on each of his warriors' helm-lens, searching for doubt or a lack of resolve, and they stared back in turn. Fervor evident in the way they tightened their fingers around their weapons and the slight puffing out of chests. Seeing this he gave a small nod and began to speak.
"My Brothers, one knee!” Captain Kylen's voice boomed. His rich baritone reverberated like the tolling of a cathedral bell. As one, his battle brothers knelt before their lord, servo joints grinding with the simple motion. The Captain blinked and data was revealed as he spoke. “A Terran month ago, our chapter received a distress call requesting immediate deliverance from a cult of Tyranid breed xenos erupting within the Fortress world of Nialos prime and are, at this very moment, harrying loyal sons and daughters of our blessed Imperium.” Inside Jacoby’s helmet, a world started to revolve in his eyes, data spooling to the side of the turning sphere.
The Captain continued; “They have been fighting this protracted and planet-wide war that grows increasingly bitter as time presses on. To us, it has been three months of travel in the black sea. To them, five years of fighting without cease or respite.”
The Captain blinked and the data changed within all their helms. What was a world spinning with color, now soured to just a malignant purple. To Jacoby, it was like seeing a fruit putrefy in real time. Mortis runes appeared over the majority of the world's surface, denoting enemy-held territory while Aquila runes stamped themselves on the map in their visor displays. Five loyalist-held bastions formed a horseshoe along the east coast of the continent Granddita. Gold against the purple. ‘Light against the dark’ Jacoby thought.
“This is our last update, with 80% of the world firmly in the hands of these apostates.” The Captain continued, his voice swelling with tightly controlled intensity. “These five bastions are what's left of the defiance against the unclean. They would kill this world and offer it up to their false alien god! We will deny them! Deny them of their pagan rituals! Deny them their conquest! Deny them their lives! You! My brothers will add your support to this undertaking. We expect heavy resistance upon translation. Your duty will be to take out the anti aerial batteries on these coordinates.” The Captain blinked and data spooled. “Purge the taint where you find it, clear the areas, and let us bring righteous wrath and fury to these scum!”
“To your valor, my kin! We translate within the hour.” With his speech concluded and orders deliberated, the Captain stepped back as death stepped forward. Steward Romero raised his hands to chest height, Imperial Rosary in one gauntlet, and his Crozius Arcanum in the other. “Let us pray.” He intoned.

Has anyone plasti dipped their Navi? If so what’s the pros and cons? How long did it last? Did it rub off?

Anyone know of a body shop that will plastic dip my medium size car?
Thanks!

(1-1-3) Club De Lyon FC - Albion San Diego (2-1-2)
7:30 PM ET -- Daytona Stadium; Daytona Beach, Florida
Stream
FULLTIME : Club De Lyon FC 1-2 Albion San Diego
Club De Lyon FC scorer: Ignacio Ten Lopez #9 (26'PEN)
Albion San Diego scorer: Heath Martin #3 (86'), Daniel Bedoya #10 (90+1')
Club De Lyon FC Line-up:
Starting XI: (GK) Josue Mazon #91, Matias Cruz #4, Mateo Borelli #5, Tomas Yriarte #22, Christopher Clement #17, Victor Blanco #7, Agustin Ortiz #27, Matias Pourrain #23, Ignacio Ten Lopez #9, Yuki Shibata #11, Gabrielle Privitera #34
Subs: (GK) Nicholas Nelson #1, Santiago Rodriguez #32, Johan Garcia #26, Shaan Sharma #33, Kewin Duque #20, Kevin Hernandez #21, Matias Mercado #35, Edgar Guzman #2
--
Albion San Diego Line-up:
Starting XI: (GK) Benjamin Roach #1, Ernest Mitchell #4, Anthony Patti #5, Andrew Kleszewski #6, Corey Lundeen #17, Ronaldo Pindea #8, Daniel Bedoya #10, Shinya Kadono #11, Tyler Gabarra #13, Jonathan Bazaez #7, Lennyn Carreon #18
Subs: (GK) Ryan Buckingham #24, Nuukele Gboe #22, Cyrus Tran #9, Heath Martin #3, Misael Mendoza #15, Mateo Hincapie #14, Sebastian Szydlo #12
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time	Event	Team	Player	Score
1'	-	Start of Match	-	0-0
25'	Yellow Card	Albion San Diego	Jonathan Bazaez #7	0-0
26'	Goal!	Club De Lyon FC	Ignacio Ten Lopez #9	1-0
30'	Yellow Card	Club De Lyon FC	Agustin Ortiz #27	1-0
31'	Yellow Card	Albion San Diego	Corey Lundeen #17	1-0
38'	Yellow Card	Club De Lyon FC	Tomas Yriarte #22	1-0
45+2'	Yellow Card	Club De Lyon FC	Victor Blanco #7	1-0
48'	Yellow Card	Albion San Diego	Jonathan Bazaez #7	1-0
57'	Substitution	Albion San Diego	Misael Mendoza #15 (IN), Jonathan Bazaez #7 (OUT)	1-0
66'	Yellow Card	Club De Lyon FC	Yuki Shibata #11	1-0
72'	Yellow Card	Club De Lyon FC	Mateo Borelli #5	1-0
75'	Substitution	Albion San Diego	Nuukele Gboe #22 (IN), Ronaldo Pindea #8 (OUT)	1-0
76'	Yellow Card	Albion San Diego	Ernest Mitchell #4	1-0
86'	Goal!	Albion San Diego	Heath Martin #3	1-1
90+1'	Goal!	Albion San Diego	Daniel Bedoya #10	1-2
90+4'	Yellow Card	Club De Lyon FC	Kewin Duque #20	1-2
90'	-	FULLTIME	-	1-2

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Old front flares. New used flares before, and after plasty dip installed new flares. Either my 35s are too small for these flares or my jeep does not photograph well lol. But free is free.

My friend Maya loved trying different foods. She never understood why so many people plod through the same meals every week, when such a vast range of exotic ingredients line the shelves of your local supermarket.
We shopped together about once a month. Maya always went straight to the international or health food aisles, and searched for jars of pickled baby squid, or cans of Polish energy drink. Nothing made her face break into a grin like a pack of lamb’s hearts.
Her birthday was a few weeks away, so I ran some searches online to find a top end weird supermarket item. All the suggestions were too milquetoast for such a special day. But several forum users insisted that to find something truly odd, you need to head down the snack aisle. By venturing all the way to the farthest end, you can find all kinds of weird stuff.
On our next trip I took Maya to the point where instant coffee met the tortilla chips, handed her a birthday card, and said to pick out whatever she wanted.
We went past the usual collections of salt and vinegar crisps. Through the popcorn, towards more bespoke choices. Pretzels. Pork scratchings. Breadsticks dipped in sesame seeds. Then onto the wasabi peas and canachur.
Most people have found their required item by this stage, and do not bother travelling further. But I trusted the forums, and led Maya to a point past where the corner of the supermarket should have been. A place where the packaging is muddy olive, and everything smelt of suede, and oily marks stained the floor.
Maya picked up something with a wasp on the logo. I understood the individual words on the packet, but they made no sense as a sentence. She confirmed her selection, and we moved faster than a walking pace to get back to the condiments.
The packet took three attempts to scan through the checkout, and cost less than a pint of milk. Soon we sat in my car, enjoying the heat of the sun, and opened our prize.
The smell that wafted out was lime soaked in cheddar. Dozens of puffed corn pyramids crammed together inside, each scarred with ridges and canyons. Maya offered me one, but I shook my head.
‘Not my birthday.'
She reached in. Then wrinkled her brow when her fingertips met resistance.
It took less than a second for the yellow and black banded hand to grab her wrist, and start pulling her in. Maya's arm vanished up to the shoulder with ease, and that is when the real trouble started. The packet was too small to allow anything past the collarbone in. Something creaked like ice against timber.
The smell of lime and cheese mixed with a new scent of rusted pennies. I squeezed the packet between my fingers in a desperate attempt to break Maya free. But where her elbow joint should have been was nothing but crunchy pyramids turning to powder.

Everything listed is tested and working.All cart games are loose unless noted All disc based games are CIB unless noted.Game will ship USPS first class. More expensive items will ship priority. Please message me for combined shipping.Note: Will be adding more soon!NintendoNES* Millipede CIB $30* Pinball Quest CIB $35* Wrath of the Black Manta $5
Super Nintendo SNESConsoles / Controllers* OEM Controller CIB $60Games* Super Metroid $70
Nintendo 64* Army Men Sarge's Heroes (game and manual) $20* Blast Corps (game and manual) $25* Namco Museum $7* Ridge Racer 64 $12* Super Mario 64 $35* Tarzan $15* The Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask (game and box, missing manual, excellent) $160
GameCube* LEGO Star Wars (disc only) $5* Lego Star Wars II The Original Trilogy (disc only) $5* Shrek 2 (disc only) $5* Shrek Superslam (disc only) $5* Spider-Man 2 (disc only) $5* Tak 2 The Staff of Dreams (disc only) $5
WiiConsoles / Controllers* Wii White Consoles + AV and Power Cords (x7) $50 EachGames* Big Brain Academy Wii Degree $5* Cabela's Survival Shadows of Katmai $5* Def Jam Rapstar $5* Geometry Wars Galaxies $8* Ghost Squad $8* Hasbro Family Game Night 2 $6* Lego Star Wars The Complete Saga $6* Mario Kart Wii $26*Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games $10**My Word Coach $5* New Super Mario Bros Wii (x2) $20 each* Nights Journey of Dreams $10 each* No More Heroes $15* Okami $10* Rayman Raving Rabbids $5* Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 $5* Rock Band $10* Rock Band 2 $10* Samurai Warriors 3 $10* Samurai Warriors Katana $10* Super Mario Galaxy $15* Wii Sports Resort $30
Wii UConsoles / Controllers* OEM GameCube Controller Adapter $40Games* Captain Toad Treasure Tracker Amiibo Bundle NEW $50* Paper Mario Color Splash NEW $90* Yoshi's Wooly World Pink Amiibo Bundle NEW $80
Nintendo SwitchConsoles / Controllers* Blue and Red Joycon Console CIB $220Games* Just Dance 2019 $15* Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate NEW (x2) $20 each* Super Smash Bros Ultimate $36
GameBoy* Bart Simpson Escape from Camp Deadly $10* Bomberman GB (Box and Manual only) $50* Double Dragon $15* Double Dragon II The Revenge $15* Earthworm Jim $15* Gauntlet II $15* Home Alone $5* Metroid 2 Return of Samus $32* Pipe Dream $5* RoboCop $12* Tetris $10GameBoy Color
Console
GameBoy Color Atomic Purple (works, needs new speaker) $65
Games* Aladdin (Game and box, missing manual) $60* Gex Enter the Gecko CIB $45* Powerpuff Girls Bad Mojo Jojo CIB $25* Spider-Man $10* The Simpsons Night of the Living Treehouse of Horror $15GameBoy Advance* Risk / Battleship / Clue 3 pack cart $5* Stuntman $5* Texas Hold Em Poker $5* Top Gun Firestorm $5* Yu-Gi-Oh Ultimate MastersNintendo DS* Battleship NEW $10* Bejeweled 3 $5* Brain Age $5* Club Penguin Elite Penguin Force $5* Flash Focus Vision Training $5* Garfield's Fun Fest (cart only) $5* Ghostbusters The Video Game (cart only) $5* Gremlins Gizmo NEW $20* Lego Batman 2 (cart only) $5* Lego Battles Ninjago (cart only) $5* Lego Harry Potter Years 1-4 (cart only) $5* Lego Indiana Jones (cart only) $5* Lego Lord of the Rings (cart only) $5* Lego Marvel Super Heroes (cart only) $5* Lego Star Wars the Complete Sage (cart only) $8* Lego Star Wars III The Clone Wars $5* Mario Cart DS CIB (x2) $15 each* My Amusement Park (cart only) $5* My Word Coach $5* Namco Museum $7* Paws and Claws Dogs and Cats Best Friends (cart only) $5* Petz Hamsterz Life 2 (cart only) $5* SimCity $10* Spectrobes (cart only) $5* SpongeBob SquarePants Yellow Avenger (cart only) $5* SpongeBob SquarePants Plankton's Robotic Revenge (cart only) $5* SpongeBob's Boating Bash (cart only) $5* Trash Packs (cart only) $5* Ultimate Spider-Man (cart only) $13* UNO 52 (cart only) $5* Wall-E $5* Wario Ware DIY NEW (small tear in cellophane) $35* Zuma's Revenge $10
Nintendo 3DS* Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion (cart only) $10* Disney Magical World (cart only) $10* Goosebumps The Game (cart only) $5* Hyrule Warriors Legends NEW $50* Lego Batman 3 Beyond Gotham (cart only) $5* Lego Legends of Chima Lava's Journey (cart only) $5* Lego Ninjago Nindroids (cart only) $5* Lego Ninjago Shadow of Ronin (cart only) $5* Mario & Luigi Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr's Journey NEW $85* Mario Party The Top 100 (cart only) $15* Regular Show in 8-Bit Land $15* Snoopy's Grand Adventure (cart only) $5* Steel Diver $5* The Sums 3 Pets (cart only) $20* Wario Ware Gold NEW $60
Amiibo* Sephiroth NEW $25* Kazyua NEW $15
SEGASega SaturnConsoles* Sega Saturn Model 2 Console ( installed TerraonionMODE + 2TB Sandisk SSD w/ full console library) $600Games* Alien Trilogy (disc only) $35* Christmas Nights Into Dreams $70* Daytona USA (disc only) $10* Mr. Bones $120* Myst $20* Myst (disc only) $10* NHL 97 (disc only) $5* Nights into Dreams (3D Control Pad Bundle, includes controller + all inserts) $150* Panzer Dragoon $75* Panzer Dragoon II Zwei $120* Panzer Dragoon Saga $1,050* Road Rash (disc only) $25* Sonic 3D Blast (disc only) $25* Virtua Cop (disc only) $5**Virtua Fighter 2 (disc only) $7
PlayStationPlayStation 2Consoles* Black Fat Model (x2) $60 eachPlayStation 3* AC/DC Live Rock Band Track Pack $7* Air Conflicts Pacific Carriers $10* Asura's Wrath (missing manual) $40*Atelier Ayesha The Alchemist of Dusk $25* Atelier Escha & Logy Alchemists of the Dusk Sky $25* Atelier Meruru The Apprentice of Arland $22* Atelier Rorona The Alchemist of Arland NEW $30* Band Hero $7* Beowulf The Game $7* BlazBlue Continuum Shift NEW $15* Brothers in Arms Hell's Highway $6* Buzz! Quiz TV $10* Call of Duty Black Ops II NEW $30* Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 game + steelbook $15* Catherine NEW $25* Civilization Revolution $10* Conflict Denied Ops $7* Dark Sector $7* Dead Space 2 $13* Defiance $5* Dragon's Dogma $7* Enchanted Arms $15* Eternal Sonata NEW $35* Eye of Judgement PS EYE Camera Bundle $65* EyePet $5* EyePet & Friends $5* FaceBreaker $10* Final Fantasy XIII-2 NEW $25* Guardians of Middle Earth (case and insert only, game was bought with a code)* Guitar Hero Warriors of Rock $12* Kingdom of Amalur Reckoning $8* Kung Fu Rider $5* Last Rebellion $30* Leisure Suit Larry Box Office Bust $20* Lost DImension NEW $90* Lost Via Domus $8* MAG $5* MLB 07 $5* Madden NFL 10 $5* Madden NFL 11 $5* Madden NFL 13 $5* Medieval Moves Deadmund's Quest $5* Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 $7* Record of Agarest War 2 $20* RockBand $20* Rocksmith $15* Sacred 3 $10* SingStar $10* Sorcery $5* Sports Champions $5* Star Trek NEW $10* Start the Party $5* The Club $6* Trinity Souls of Zill O'll $50* Wonderbook Book of Spells $10PlayStation 4* Agents of Mayhem $5* Batman Arkham VR NEW $15* Battleborn $5* Call of Duty WWII Valor Collection NEW $50* Crash Team Racing Nitro Fueled NEW $20* Evolve $5* Extinction $5* Jak II Limited Run $90 + T-shirt $50* Lord of The Rings Middle Earth Shadow of War NEW (x3) $10 Each* Rayman Legends (PlayStation Hits) NEW $15* Shenmue 3 + Steelbook NEW $30
PlayStation 5* Among Us Impostor Edition NEW $35PSPConsoles
* PSP 1000 console (loose disk tray, still working) $50Games* Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII (UMD Only) $10* Darkstalkers Chronicle The Chaos Tower $20* Dynasty Warriors (UMD Only) $5* EyePet $5* Final Fantasy Tactics The War of the Lions (UMD Only) (x2) $10 each* God of War Chains of Olympus $20* Iron Man (UMD Only) $5* MLB 09 THe Show (UMD Only) $5* MVP Baseball (UMD Only) $5* Madden 2006 (UMD Only) $5* Madden 2008 (UMD Only) $5* Marvel Nemesis Rise of the Imperfects (UMD Only) $7* NBA Live 2008 (UMD Only) $5* Neopets Petpet Adventures The Wand of Wishin (UMD Only) $10* Rapala Trophies (UMD Only) $5* Ridge Racer (UMD Only) $7* Sonic Rivals (UMD Only) $10* SpongeBob SquarePants The Yellow Avenger $10* Star Wars Battlefront Renegade Squadron (UMD Only) $7* Syphon Filter Dark Mirror (UMD Only) $5* Syphon Filter Logan's Shadow / Killzone Liberation Dual Pack NEW $20* Untold Legends Brotherhood of the Blade $8* Untold Legends Brotherhood of the Blade (UMD ONLY) $5* Untold Legends The Warriors Code (UMD Only) $5PS Vita* Hot Shots Golf World Invitational (cart only) $10* Lego Harry Potter Years 5-7 $10* Lego Marvel Super Heroes Universe in Peril $10* Lego Marvel's Avengers $17* PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale $15* Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed (cart only) $20
XboxOriginalAMF Bowling $5Batman Dark Tomorrow $18Big Mutha Truckers $6Big Mutha Truckers 2 $6Blackstone Magic and Steel $42Castlevania Curse of Darkness $23Codename Kids Next Door Operation VIDEOGAME $10Conflict Desert Storm $5Conflict Vietnam $5Disney's Extreme Skate Adventure $20Dr. Muto $10Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone $54Kingdom Under Fire Heroes $8NHL2K6 NEW $10Need For Speed Carbon $7Need for Speed Underground $10Need for Speed Underground 2 $15PGR $5PGR 2 $5Scaler $10Shark Tale $5Star Wars KOTOR $10Tron 2.0 Killer App $12Test Drive off Road Wide Open $7The Hobbit $10Tiger Woods 2004 $4Top Gear RPM Tuning $7Totaled $9WWE Raw 2 $20Whiplash $15Worms 3D $10Zapper $10

Once he starts to wake up he feels a comforting warmth around him. Opening his eyes his vision is still dark. Once his vision clears he realizes he's looking at a black claw.
Following the claw he finds Palinurus snuggled against his back, her face settled in a peaceful bliss.
'This feels nice,' muses Crabron, making sure not to move and wake her, 'But should it? She's my friend and this is a very intimate pose.'
'What if you became more?' asks another train of thought, 'You could be happy.'
'But what if she doesn't want anything more,' questions Crabron.
'Of course she does, think back a little bit, she wasn't looking for guards she was looking at you. Need proof? Her flustered response is all you need, or how about when you mentioned dating and she hastily backtracked?'
As he is arguing with himself Crabron notices that her smile has turned to fear and her breath quickens, as she mumbles, "No, Crabron! No, no, no!"
'She must be having a nightmare!' thinks Crabron as he shakes her awake, "Palinurus, Palinurus, wake up. I'm alright."
With a gasp she jumps awake. Wrapping his wings around her he whispers, "It's okay Palinurus. It's okay. I'm right here. I'm alright."
"Thank the moons!" Exclaims Palinurus, "I dreamt that you never woke up from Sheyleyong's attack. I was thinking about what I would do. If, if you died. I was thinking about how I could even live with you gone," she starts to panic. "I couldn't bear the thought of living without you and all the things I would never say. What I would miss out on!"
As she rambles an he carefully shuts her mouth with a gentle claw silencing her worries.
In the sudden silence he speaks, "You don't need to worry about that, ever. I'll always be here when you need me, even if it means leaving a mission. You've been at my side for as long as I can remember. Hell I don't even remember how we met, just that you've been there for me just as I have for you. Some stuck up, slaving, honey snorter, won't change that."
She looks at him with tears in her eyes, "But you nearly died. When you were out it was like you were gone, no matter what I did you never even flinched, you had two dislocated ribs and you'd lost a lot of blood."
"Looks like Clearsight hasn't decided to accept me." Comments Crabron with a smug but gentle smile, "And a couple dislocated ribs certainly won't kill me."
A look of sudden remembrance crosses her face, "Ooh, that reminds me, to fix your ribs you need to relocate them yourself."
"How am I supposed to do that?" Asks Crabron.
"According to Viceroy, the doctor who lives here, you need to take a deep breath and try to blow it out without opening your mouth and plugging your nose." Crabron tries and gasps in pain.
Palinurus places a comforting claw on his shoulder, "Keep at it until you feel them pop back into place. If you black out I have some hartshorn."
After a few painful attempts he finally feels them relocate with a relieved sigh, "Wow, I never thought it was that hard to breathe. Where are we?"
"Viceroy's house, in the Bloodworm Hive SilkWing District. I told you that." Says Palinurus with a disapproving look, "Viceroy didn't mention brain damage."
Crabron smiles as he pushes aside the entrance curtain, "That you did, but where in the district?"
"Just outside the Plaza of the Hope for Peace." Says Palinurus as Crabron lays eyes on a large, vividly painted statue depicting Monarch, Wasp, and a rather monochromatic LeafWing, each working together to hold up a crown. "How is that thing not tearing through the silk?"
In reply a voice comes from the street as Grayling steps through a line of SilkWings, "It's made from treestuff and it's hollow, as such it's a lot lighter than it looks."
"Hello again Grayling," Crabron suddenly remembers something, "Did I miss the handout?"
"No, I fact you're just in time," he motions to the line he just walked through, "These are the ones who showed up. Come with me. Palinurus, you too."
Grayling leads him to a row of tables overflowing with baskets full of various goods with yet more still in the crates behind it, "How much did y'all get?"
"Three quarters of the entire warehouse." Answers Leafcutter as she flicks her tail at a table, "You'll be there with Palinurus, your father and I will be asleep at home. However before I go," she grabs a curious scabbard off a table and hands it to him, "I do believe this is yours."
Looking at it he notices that it seems to be made out of long strands of grass. Wrapping one loop before his wings and the other just behind his wings Crabron asks, "What is it?"
"Sheyleyong's sword," answers Leafcutter, "I took the liberty to procure a new scabbard from my contact. Apparently she had to steal this one from another group that doesn't share their opinion. When her daughter was told to get it they had a big argument. I have never seen such a dysfunctional family. But I get it, she was hiding someone."
"If she's hiding it, how'd you know?" Asks Crabron.
She points to her eyes, "Her eyes, it was just for a split second, but it was there. The same look I always hid during my experimentation phase, before I met your father."
"You experimented? With who?" Asks Crabron.
"Well, I say it's time to stop wasting these family's days, and get me some sleep. Each family gets one basket and try not to vandalize anything." Dismisses Leafcutter as she rushes away calling behind her, "He's in charge guys!"
"You'd think she 'experimented' with my mother with how she rushed away," muses Palinurus, "How is the sword not slicing through those grass fibers?"
"Maybe it's lined with something?" Asks Crabron as he gives the scabbard a light squeeze, feeling something hard as steel between the wrappings and sword, "I'll have to ask my mom."
Stepping behind the table he calls out, "I can help the next family!"
A few families down the line Crabron hears a squeaky voice, "That's him! That's the Hiveing that saved me!"
As a familiar purple dragonet runs up, his mother close behind, Crabron smiles, "If it isn't Dusky, the toughest dragonet I ever met. Have you shown your friends your awesome new scar?"
"Not yet, he has construction work today," says the dragoness accompanying him, presumably his mother.
"It's Friday shouldn't he be at school?" Asks Crabron.
She gives a sad nod, "Yes, but after his father died he was expected to pick up his shifts, Thursday nights and Friday to Monday days."
A look of horror crosses Palinurus' face, "He's a dragonet! He deserves an education!"
Dusky's mother sighs, "I know, but Lady Bloodworm won't allow it."
"I'll see if I can change her mind," growls Crabron.
"How?" Asks Palinurus.
"Enough threats can change any mind." Hisses Crabron before taking on a kind look, "Say, little Dusky, what is your favorite fruit?"
"Bananas!" Chirps Dusky.
Taking an extra bushel of bananas from the crates behind him Crabron places them and an extra loaf of bread into a basket before handing it to Dusky's mother, "Have a wonderful day."
Once the line diminishes Crabron looks over the still remaining food and tells the other SilkWings that were helping him pass out baskets to help themselves to the food.
"Your parents say you killed Vinegaroon's son last night," prefaces Grayling, "Is it true?"
"Who?" Asks Crabron.
"Lord Sheyleyong is, or rather was, Vinegaroon's youngest son." Supplies Grayling.
"Oh, him." says Crabron, "I did."
"How'd you do it?" Asks Grayling.
"Nothing too hard," says Crabron with a shrug.
"Not too hard?" Exclaims Grayling, "In Vinegaroon hive every HiveWing is expected to start training in combat at five and serve for three years minimum. However, the most skilled Dragons are placed under Sheyleyong, yet you killed him!"
"I wouldn't say those soldiers were skilled," scoffs Crabron.
"What armor were they wearing?" Questions Grayling.
"Leather." Says Crabron.
"Then those were probably peasants sent along with him." Dismisses Grayling, "Vinegaroon's Midnight Sons wear plate armor coated in a black lacquer, with the exception of Sheyleyong himself."
Crabron's mind flashes back to that night as he once again hears Sheyleyong, "My son has cared for Valeriophonus, that's the dragoness you just murdered, for years. He was sure he would marry her, but now that will never happen."
'Valeriophonus must've been a peasant,' Thinks Crabron, 'By Clearsight! That might've been her first mission, and I killed her!'
"Crabron? Asks Palinurus a concerned tone in her voice, "Are you okay?"
"I killed her." Breaths Crabron, "It was probably her first mission and I killed her."
"Who? Who did you kill?" Asks Palinurus
"One of the soldiers sent on what was supposed to be a simple investigation last night was a peasant girl named Valeriophonus. She was no older than five or six, probably on her first mission, a-and I killed her," her terrified face flashes through Crabron's eyes causing an involuntary shiver to race down his spine, "I saw her face, I saw the light leave her eyes. She was terrified."
Palinurus gives his shoulder a comforting squeeze, "I'm sure you didn't have a choice."
"But did I?" Asks Crabron, "We could've tried to talk our way out of it, or escaped after they arrested us, but my mom decided to kill one of those innocent peasants in cold blood. Not to mention she feigned surrender, now whenever one of the Chrysalis actually tries to surrender the guards won't trust them!"
"Crabron," says Grayling with an understanding look, "Killing will never get any easier, but unless a HiveWing's eyes are white then that HiveWing chose to attack. That's what gets me through fights."
"And if their eyes are white?" Questions Crabron.
Grayling shrugs, "Then it's not them, it's Wasp forcing them to fight."
“Y-yes of course,” says Crabron before changing the subject, "Does Lady Bloodworm ever leave Bloodworm Place?"
"Not without, at the absolute least, a dozen guards," answers Grayling.
"Rest up, we have a night trip to make," states Crabron before nodding to Palinurus, "You too."
"Where are we going to sleep?" Asks Palinurus, "This isn't our hive."
"I have a place," says Grayling.
"What would your pare- mother say?" Asks Crabron.
"She didn't handle the death of my brother and father very well." Answers Grayling before mumbling, "Now I live alone."
"I'm so sorry," apologizes Palinurus, "It must be hard on you."
"Don't be," says the gray Silkwing with a smile. "It gives me more resolve."
Once they arrive at Grayling's house Crabron spies writing materials on a desk, "Before I sleep I'll need to write a letter to my parents, telling them my plan so they don't panic."
Taking his newly written scroll he finds Codling and passes the scroll over with a kind request to deliver it to Leafcutter.
Re-entering Grayling's house he curls up beside Palinurus quickly falling asleep.
After a brief stop to steal a pair of spears, support straps included, and basic armor for his SilkWings as well as a roundel dagger and armor for himself he leads his group to Bloodworm Place. Sneaking to the windows Crabron spies Bloodworm sitting at an overflowing table with her courtiers.
"She has that much food yet her SilkWings are starving!" Cries Palinurus, "That's perverse!"
Yanking Palinurus into the nearby bushes Crabron hisses, "Lower your voice! We are trying not to be discovered." At her meek nod he continues, "Good now we have to find all possible entrances and exits and where Bloodworm sleeps. So somebody needs to track Bloodworm through the windows while the others examine the outside."
"I'll track Bloodworm," volunteers Grayling, "However there are areas without windows so I'll have to track her from inside."
"That seems risky," says Palinurus.
"My family has always been Hive Drones." Grayling waves, "I just have to act like one if I get caught."
"As soon as things seem dicey, run," orders Crabron, "I don't need to lose anyone."
"Yes, sir!" Snaps Grayling as he removes his gambeson and kernel helm.
"You make me sound like some old, grizzled guard," muses Crabron as Grayling slips in through a window and worms his way into the serving staff.
"This is your mission," says Palinurus, "It makes sense for you to be the leader."
She picks up his chin and whispers in an attempt of a sultry tone, "Besides it leaves us alone."
"If I'm the leader, as you say, then I think you should study the bottom floor and I'll use my wings to study the upper floors. Keep track of any potential exits and remain unseen." says Crabron missing her insinuation.
If Crabron had looked behind him he would've seen Palinurus smack a fist onto the ground with a hiss, "I came on too strongly."
After searching the exterior he spies Grayling on the topmost floor balcony waving him in, swooping around to pick up Palinurus he drops her and Grayling's armor on the balcony, "Did you find her?"
"Yes, she is protected by two guards at her door." Reports Grayling.
"What about in the hallway leading to it?" Asks Palinurus.
"None," answers Grayling, "Hell I haven't seen a guard, except those two, since I came in!"
"Didn't you say she's paranoid?" Asks Palinurus.
"Maybe she feels safe in her home." Shrugs Crabron, "Though we're about to shatter that illusion."
"Something doesn't feel right about that." Says Palinurus as a visible shudder runs down her back, "Grayling, I think you should don your armor before we head in."
"Relax, it's just nerves," dismisses Crabron, a confident smile on his face, "We'll be in and out before they can spring any traps. Grayling if you will?"
"Right this way." Stopping just short of a three way intersection, Grayling motions to the intersecting hall, "Just at the end of that hallway is her room, be careful though the hall is rather empty."
Glancing around the corner he sees a long, wide hallway painted with a vivid scarlet red, the columns painted a vibrant and contrasting yellow. The floor is covered with a plush high pile, purple carpet trimmed with golden flamesilk.
At each column is a statue of various important HiveWings, including Bloodworm herself, each supporting a flame silk lantern, half of which are covered by silk darkening the hall.
The gaps between the columns are occupied with shallow pools and elaborate fountains, where there isn't a doorway. Looking to the other side of the hall the space between columns is occupied with huge and nearly invisible panes of crystal glass leading to the night outside.
Following the colors up he sees an arched glass ceiling that is completely invisible against the night sky, giving the impression of being outside without the wet of the monsoon rains that have just started up.
At the end of the hall stands two guards, just as Grayling reported, eerily staring straight ahead with empty, glowing white eyes and spears at the ready to intercept any intruders.
Dipping back around the corner, Crabron digs his talons into the tree stuff wall and climbs up to the darkened arch of glass, not willing to risk his wingbeats being heard. After examining the slick gold-plated girders supporting the glass he determines that they are too flush to utilize as claw holds. Opting to use his claws, Crabron slowly inches along the top of the wall until he is above a guard. Watching a lightning bolt in the distance he counts it out until the thunder strikes. When another strikes at a similar distance he drops, fist balled at the ready, and lands on one of the guards just as the thunder hits, overwhelming what little sound his strike made.
Hooking his arm around the other's throat he waits until he stops struggling. Motioning to his friends they run up the hall, claw taps silenced by the rug.
"What'd I tell you?" Smiles Crabron as he removes the key ring from one of the guards and starts trying them on the door. "Easy. We'll be in and out lickety split."
"We still should be quick," warns Palinurus, "Who knows when these guards will wake up."
"Of course." calls Crabron as the lock gives a quiet click and he pushes open the door revealing what could be the definition of luxury.
The color scheme and carpet match the hall with a sunken pit in the floor surrounded by various lounge cushions and squat tables, all facing a stone fire pit. Looking around the room he sees various highly detailed tapestries depicting HiveWing triumphs and SilkWing suffering hung between curtained doorways to different rooms.
"I didn't take Bloodworm as the devout type," whispers Palinurus.
Following her eyes through a slightly open curtain Crabron sees a large, regal portrait of Clearsight writing her book of prophecies while nestled within the wings of her primary husband, Sunstreak, though she is far more prominent. Below the painting is a short wooden desk cluttered with various offerings, from jewelry to food to a small statuette of Clearsight, between unlit incense lamps.
Entering the room, Palinurus picks up a finely detailed egg carved from jade from the shrine to admire it.
"Woah, woah, woah!" Calls Crabron trying to keep his voice at a whisper, "Put that back now!" Startled, she quickly puts it back. Sitting down in front of the shrine he closes his eyes, keeping his head down, "Forgive her Clearsight, for she didn't know."
"What the hell was that!" Cries Palinurus.
"Stealing from a shrine is the surest way to be denied by Clearsight's doormen. Being left to wander the void as a twisted shade," says Crabron.
"I just thought it was a pretty color," mumbles Palinurus.
"I'll see about buying you some jade knick knacks." Suggests Crabron.
"Like that one?" Asks Palinurus pointing to the egg.
"I'm sure you don't want a fertility charm," dismisses Crabron.
"A what?" Asks Palinurus.
"A fertility charm," repeats Crabron, "You keep it where eggs come from and pull it out when you're about to make eggs. Pretty common with Lady Jewel's crowd."
Her confusion turns to horror, "Ew, ew, ew! I had it in my claws! I eat with those!" She rushes towards the curtain separating the shrine from the common area, still somehow keeping her voice down, "I need a sink, now!"
“Is she alright?” asks Grayling, catching his eye through the swinging curtain.
Crabron shrugs as he leaves the shrine room, “She was holding a Jade egg and just learned what they're used for."
"She had to learn somehow," he holds out a mask of Odorata, messenger of Clearsight and a guide for lost souls, "There's a black table cloth over there."
"Brilliant!" Calls Crabron with a pat on Grayling's back, "Bloodworm is obviously devout so she'll listen if she thinks Odorata is after her! We need to turn that tablecloth into a hooded cloak, can you sew?"
He smiles, "Of course, I have been living alone after all. I think I saw sewing supplies in a side room."
By the time Palinurus re-enters the room Crabron is already wearing his makeshift costume as Grayling finishes his stitches, "There you are. Looks like we have a plan! Now I need you on standby as Clearsight if I need it, Grayling you will be a look out after you wake Bloodworm. Understood?"
With two simultaneous salutes Crabron goes through the only wooden, yes wooden, door in the suite revealing a giant bed with silky, see through curtains. Stepping up on a chest at the end of the bed he points from Grayling to Bloodworm before pointing from Palinurus to the shadows at the corner of the room where her dark scales render her nearly invisible.
Getting the message, Grayling taps her on the thigh until she starts to stir, prompting Grayling to sprint out the door.
Striking an intimidating pose he glares down at her with his wings wide. With a start Lady Bloodworm shoots up her back against the headboard, "W-who are you."
As lightning flashes lighting up his skull mask Crabron speaks with a deep projecting voice, "Madame Clearsight is hurt that you don't recognize her one and only messenger!"
Recognition spreads across her face, "You're Odorata, am I dead?"
"Not yet," hisses Crabron, "But you will be if you don't heed my mistresses warning. She told me that you must not allow dragonets to work on school days or a figure, scales dark as night, will send you to Clearsight early."
"I'll get right on that!" Says Bloodworm with a sarcastic tone.
"Are you questioning Clearsight?" Asks Crabron.
"Of course not," says Bloodworm with a shake of her head.
"I don't believe you," says Crabron before he gets an idea, "In fact Clearsight wants to give you a reminder."
Drawing his sword he slashes it across the side of her snout, digging deep enough to surly leave a scar, "Let that be a reminder of Clearsight's warning. If you do not obey, a matching gash will adorn your throat. Now I must take my leave. May you live long."
Making his escape he finds Grayling at the door to the hallway. Spotting him out of the corner of his eye, Grayling starts to walk down the ornate hall outside Bloodworms suite before speaking up, "How'd it go?"
Taking the hood off he lets the Odorata mask hang around his neck, "Optimistically it went well. Realistically I might need to pay her a visit out of costume."
Grayling rolls his eyes, "Knowing her, that's a definite revisit."
Crabron's reply dies on his tongue as a voice booms from the hallway they had just started down, "Intruders, identify yourself!"
"Shit," hisses Crabron, reversing direction just to see another group cutting them off at the other side of the intersection.
Thinking quickly, Crabron rips a painting from the wall and hurls it through the nearby window, shattering it. Without needing instruction Grayling leaps through the window and into the pool below it, however Palinurus hesitates at the window.
Avoiding a slash from a guard, Crabron calls out, "Go!"
"Not without you!" Exclaims Palinurus, her helmet narrowly deflecting a blow.
"No time to discuss this!" Hisses Crabron as he headbutts Palinurus hard enough to knock her through.
Nursing a cut claw, Palinurus surfaces to see Crabron draw both of his blades and rear up onto his back legs, his escape now blocked by a guard.

SHE posted those then she deleted the tweet claiming twitter removed the tweet when When twitter allows the n word as Elon says it’s freedom of speech. If youre a guy from tinder she’s prob posts ur pics and convos and Also this is a woman to run from unless you want her to share your sex details and want to risk an std from someone who’s publicly sharing them needing plan b and how all these men hit and quit it or she meets a strange man in a bar who was touching her feet the moment he met her .. so she hopped in his car and her took her to a public park to ram her bent over on a tree … or the details she’s shared of these men saying they love her . She met one guy literally hung once in CA she came back saying she’s w someone and loves them .. and he said he loves her all while he was not even calling or texting her nor did he go to Chicago w her . She sure did post 765 videos ab him and how she loved him and then when he slept w another woman , she posted that too. She’s a liability, and eats like a hog - no manners. She smells horribly and since she doesn’t see a OBGYN you don’t want to risk dipping into the smelly swamp … or risk her being upset and posting how u hooked up w an old lady … I guarantee you that woman she called old is far more cultured and attractive! She will call u her bf when ur not and accuse u of making snark pages to stalk her … and then make videos towards ur gf … bc Adrielle is just a easy lay her lack of respect for herself and others is as evident as her lack of self awareness… no one wants to date her no one takes her seriously bc she’s pathetic racist and you’ll be connected to somebody who is publicly, shared that they’re a child predator and had a crush on a junior high boy. Stay away from this person there’s literally a risk and dangerous, even though she ask is, if men are always annoying her and disrespecting her… She in fact is that after somebody blocked her from their phone she just went to a bar. She knew this guy frequent then he was nice to her with his friend, but clearly was distant as well. She was all over him, and then another guy who she like, barked in his face and tried to headbutt him… He asked her if she always does that… She said yeah, the people I want to fuck… Gross and creepy. He ran away from her and rejected her to the guy that she stopped. Quite literally she went early in the day to sit at this bar all day until he showed up then she was all over him very annoyingly, spinning in chairs and singing loud and like literally screaming in his face he didn’t want to kiss her so she took her yellow smelly tongue out of her mouth that is infested with plaque Raden yellow brown teeth and licked his face… she then forces him to walk her home… So she records the entire thing annoyingly of course with her phone out and being annoying she was talking and he never responded… Then she goes on Snapchat because he didn’t even go inside and completely rejected her after only having her blocked from his phone because she was calling and bothering him so much literally texting and blowing up his phone late at night… All the time and being absolutely creepy. she gets on Snapchat and post all of this information as well as all the videos showing this. They are also on TikTok so if you hang out with her, she’ll most likely also take videos of you guys no matter what you’re doing even if she’s just being a completely embarrassing and annoying donkey. She thinks it’s funny, but it’s really not funny at all. Comedians are creative, smart witty she’s not she’s cheap, uncultured uneducated… Rude, racist, homophobic… A typical cheeseburger, American. But somebody who falsely accuses man of stalking them and other crimes isn’t somebody to be around and that goes for women as well and people protecting their business is an assets from somebody like this. it’s not even worth sleeping with her. That’s a smelly dangerous risk as well. Somebody who’s willing to post and make up lies and call somebody a homophobic slur then because somebody punish her essentially, or gave her what she deserved, which was a ticket for breaking the law if she never wears a seatbelt and is always driving like a complete creepy maniac she is… She turns around and accuses this man of stalking her and again this is not back to blue. I’m not a Republican I don’t even like police… she’s just constantly making up lies. As well as fabricating stories, accusing black men of committing crimes against her in what she called the hood. Which could literally get somebody killed because they were miss identify them because she said it was a black crackhead who had grills on his teeth. She also accuses strangers of date, raping women… And it’s a complete damn lie there’s nothing true about what she says and if you believe her, then you’re just as fucking stupid. But it seems like the man who find her online and look her up. No she is. This is just a fair warning if you look her up, do not do it. Don’t hang out with her. It’s not worth it she’s not gonna be anything serious anyway… You could take that donkey seriously??!

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Finding monkeys proved fairly easy. That didn’t come as much of a surprise, as Noah had practically been drowning in the mangy monsters when he’d first been shunted into Vermil’s body.
After just a few minutes of creeping through the trees, he spotted a red-furred monkey hunched over the blood splattered carcass of another monkey, savagely tearing into it and ripping large chunks of flesh free.
It shoveled them into its mouth, letting out an incredibly uncomfortable combination of moans and grunts as it fed. Noah didn’t even bother to hide his disgust. He stopped in his tracks, keeping a few trees between him and the distracted monster, and channeled one of his Wind Runes.
An arc of energy swirled between his fingertips and leapt out, scything past trees and connecting cleanly with the back of the monkey’s neck.
The monster pitched forward and fell prone on top of its meal, the stump of its neck pumping blood out onto the ground. A rush of energy slithered through Noah’s veins and up his spine.
Noah immediately brought forth his Vibration Rune. It flickered, indistinguishable from what it had looked like before. If killing the monkey had done anything to make it grow in strength, he couldn’t see the results.
“Lovely. I sure hope these things aren’t endangered, because I think I’m going to be killing quite a few of them.” Noah closed his palm.
No matter how many he had to kill, at least it was better than sitting around and doing nothing. That was one thing he’d never do again. Better to try and fail than to be stuck wasting even more time.
He knelt by the dead monkey and used one of its hands to saw at a claw. A few minutes later, he ripped it free with a grunt. Noah wiped the blood off on the monster’s thick hair and hefted his makeshift dagger, nodding to himself.
It was time to hunt.
Five more monkeys met similar fates and fell to Noah’s Wind Runes. He was tempted to test out Ash, but Wind felt like a much better tool for his current opponents.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Hours ticked by as he stalked the denizens of the forest, and the sun trekked through the sky, making for the horizon. Noah’s streak of good luck finally came to an end as he reached a small clearing in the burnt trees shortly after midday.
Something had ripped the trees in the area apart and thrown them all to one side, leaving jagged stumps protruding from the ground everywhere. Four small monkeys sat in a semicircle around a huge one that Noah recognized all to well from its enormous claws and butt-ugly face.
A Slasher. The same monster that had killed him several times shortly after his arrival. A mixture of fear and anger mixed in his chest and Noah instinctively ducked behind a tree, pressing his side to the brittle bark.
He waited a moment before peeking out again. The monsters didn’t seem to have noticed him. The Slasher just stood before its smaller fellows, grunting unintelligibly and occasionally waving its hands around.
Are they intelligent? That’s an unsettling thought. Might take a moment to get over that.
Okay, I’m over it. Bastards went for me first. Enjoy waiting in line, assholes.
Noah flexed his fingers. He unhooked the gourd from his waist and padded back in the way he’d come for a minute, hiding the gourd at the base of a large tree before returning to the clearing.
He wrapped around the clearing to get behind the back of the Slasher. He hadn’t fought the monsters in a group yet, but that didn’t change the fact that the huge monkey was still the most dangerous of the lot.
Wind slithered around Noah’s palm and formed into a vibrating crescent moon before his palm. He took aim and let the spell fly at the monkey. Not waiting to see if it connected, he formed another disk and launched it before dashing back into the trees.
A raged screech followed by a gurgling howl told Noah that his attacks had struck. Thundering footsteps followed by a loud crunch gave the additional information that they hadn’t struck quite well enough.
Noah swore under his breath, pumping his legs as hard as he could as he dipped and dove through the forest. Trees cracked and shattered behind him as the monkey gave chase, hollering in fury.
It was gaining on him. Noah couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu as the distance between them steadily closed. He could hear the calls of the smaller monsters growing closer. Noah caught a flash of one of them swinging through the trees to his side.
He spun, firing a blade of wind at it. The monkey dropped to the ground, dodging the attack, and lunged for him. The smart move would have been to dive to the side or try to avoid the blow.
That was likely what the monkey had been expecting. Instead, Noah stepped toward it and whipped his elbow up into the monster’s nose. It let out a screech and staggered backward, momentarily stunned.
Noah slammed his palm into its face and unleashed a blade of wind point blank. Blood sprayed and it fell back without another noise. Energy flooded into Noah, but he was already running again.
Three more monkeys. Two small ones and one wounded Slasher. Noah spun behind a tree, raising his hand and firing a blade of wind just as the Slasher barreled clean through a thin tree, sending fragments of wood flying everywhere.
Its furry neck was matted with blood and its beady black eyes burned with hatred and pain. The monkey opened its mouth, revealing rows of jagged yellow fangs, and let out a howl. Noah’s spell caught it in the chest, carving a thick wound across it.
It screeched and lunged at Noah. This time, Noah got the feeling that trying to punch the monkey out would just result in getting shredded to ribbons. He dove away, landing in an awkward roll.
Something popped in his arm and he swore in pain. Noah rolled over, raising his other hand defensively just as the Slasher arrived before him. It raised its hands, screeching in victory.
I saw the other monster do this too. It’s going to slash down with both hands.
Noah rolled to the side. Dirt whumped behind him as the monkey’s claws slipped clean through it and its palms hit the forest floor. His arm throbbed in pain, but Noah ignored it. He raised his other hand and fired a blade of wind into the surprised Slasher’s neck.
Its cries finally went silent and it crashed to the ground beside him, dead. Noah shuddered, adrenaline coursing through his veins with such intensity that he could hear his heartbeat.
Energy filled him and he staggered to his feet, scanning the surroundings. There were still two monkeys left, and he still remembered what happened when he celebrated a victory too early.
Noah turned in a slow circle, his eyes flicking at every faint rustle of wind through the cracked trees. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths and he held his hand before his chest, his teeth bared.
“Come on,” Noah snarled. “Where are you?”
A powerful blow slammed into Noah’s back and he staggered forward. He staggered to the side, but too slowly to avoid a clawed hand as it raked across his back. Noah screamed and fell to the ground, desperately twisting around to see the monkey lunging to rip his face off.
Magic swirled and a blade of wind caught the monster in the neck. Its corpse slammed into Noah, knocking him to the ground. The wounds on his back screamed in pain and Noah snarled, shoving the creature off him.
Numbness crept along his body. He tried to stand, but his legs wouldn’t work properly. He slipped in the growing pool of his and the monster’s blood on the scorched ground and fell back with a groan.
With a feeble, shaking hand, Noah grabbed his makeshift dagger. He dragged himself back across the ground with it, pushing himself against a tree to prop himself up. Every breath came shallower than the last, but Noah kept his dagger raised before him.
“One more,” Noah wheezed. “Come on.”
Seconds ticked by and Noah’s hand dipped. The world grew darker and his vision narrowed to a pinpoint. Strength left Noah’s limbs. His last action was to toss his dagger as hard as he could – which, at this point, was just half a dozen feet away from him.
A tiny flicker of motion in the edge of his fading eyes was the last thing he saw before he slipped off.
Noah’s soul peeled away from the body, lifting into the air. He stared down at the bloodied corpse beneath him and scrunched his nose. The final monkey was behind a tree, staring warily at his body.
“Well, not a bad run by any means. A definite improvement over the previous one. And – oh, goddamn it. Please stop that. Don’t eat my face, that’s disgusting.”
The monkey couldn’t hear him. And, even if it could, Noah suspected that his request would have fallen on deaf ears.
Greyish black energy wound around his neck. Noah didn’t even blink as it yanked him away.
An instant later, he sat up with a ragged gasp. His head pounded with a violent headache, and the gourd rested on the ground beside him. Noah pushed himself upright using the trunk of the tree, leaving his gourd on the ground.
He instinctively tried to call on his magic, but it was for naught. The Runes were completely inaccessible for him, and judging by previous experience, they’d remain that way for several hours.
Noah massaged his temple and trudged into the forest in the direction of his corpse. Even if he didn’t have magic, he needed to get his clothes back or he’d be returning to Arbitage with everything on display.
He repressed a pained chuckle.
That’s one way to get fired.
Several minutes later, Noah stopped walking. Loud crunches came from where he’d died, and he didn’t need to use much imagination to know what they were. Noah crept forward, watching the ground to make sure he didn’t step on anything too loud.
Luckily, the monkey seemed distracted with what it likely assumed to be the prize of its patience. It was hunched over his body, letting out faint hoots as it ripped him apart. Noah’s dagger rested on the ground where he’d thrown it.
Moving as quietly as he could, Noah walked up to the dagger. He scooped it off the ground and the monkey paused, looking up from its meal as its ears finally picked up on the noise.
It was too late. Noah plunged the blade into its ear, twisting it savagely before ripping it out and slamming it into the base of the monster’s skull. The sharp claw bit through the dense hair and the flesh beneath it.
The monkey slumped, dead before it even got a glance at him. Noah shoved it to the side and grabbed his clothes from his corpse, doing his best not to look at his now mangled face. He ignored the blood soaking into his shirt and pants as he pulled them on and turned, heading away without a second glance.
He collected his gourd, still fighting the violent headache pounding in his skull, and climbed into a tree to wait for his magic to return. Despite the pain rippling through his body and the fog in his mind, Noah’s heart thumped with excitement. He was starting to really enjoy this.
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