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I made a character and this sotry for star wars (i made this story for my English finals, i had a month to make it and got an A on it), the characters name is Saya Eban and is a character I have been thinking of for over a decade now (im not in my 2nd decade so since i was super young). Saya at this time is 13-14 years old and was given inspiration by almost all the other jedi and also star killer. He is human and with reliance on the force he can live up to 1000 years with hi peak being between 35, 40 ish to around 800 years of age. In terms of prime power level and potential, in my canon he is 3rd most powerful character just underneath luke and anikan Skywalkers, but could contend with them at some points. Little background: he was a prodigy in school before he became a padawan, he always had an intrest in a character named Ahsoka Tano but never became more than friends because of the Jedi teachings. He was a fast learning youngling and became a padawan earlier than most other younglings, becaming a padawan at the age of 11 - 12. He was in the first battle of Genesis but his troop transport ship was blasted out of the air, landing behind enemy lines leaving him the sole surviver, and scarring him, making him want to never see uneeded bloodshed ever again. He met Count Dooku before he had met Obi-Wan and Anikan on geonosis, he locked blades with him once... once, before he was thrown aside like a house fly, not worth his time, he was out until the retreat of the battle was initiated. This gave him night terrors and nightmares, after this day he could never sleep more than an hour, if that, before he woke up feeling the dark side creeping in. So he had learned to use sleep meditation. Sleep meditation allowed him to accelerate his trainings and connect greater to the force, he had unlocked 1/3 of his life now, the force helping his cells heal his body while he sat and meditated.
This story is of how he lived through one of the bloodiest battles and worst losses of the Republic, the battle of Sarrish, and of how he had obtained his later main star ship, a Kom'rk Mark 1 class star fightetransport, aka the Puro (i made this story before I have watched the 3rd season of the Mandalorian, as of right now i still haven't so Idk if thats in season 3 or not).
There is about 11,340 words in the story, and I don't 100% know of what I should make him look like so have your imaginations run wild.
Ok here we go:
Tales of Saya Eban's Puro
Chapter 1

 The battle of Sarrish was one of the worst battles of the Clone Wars, it was a great devastating loss to the Republic and the Jedi, and I was in the middle of it all. Before the battle I was doing some touch-ups on my A-wing Fighter. I had managed to get my hands on a hyperdrive that would fit in my small fighter, although being able to enter hyperspace without an external hyperdrive wing is very convenient, fast, and easy, it does slow my fighter and hinder some mobility, but not an uncontrollable amount of loss. Little did I know it'd save my life later that week. After I had finished my work, gotten it restocked for my next battle, I was called to the Jedi command center for a briefing by Master Yoda, saying it was an urgent mission and I was needed now, with his backwards way of speaking annoying me slightly. In a flash, I had gathered my battle ready loadout and headed off to the command center. When I entered the command center with the center planning table showing starships from both Confederate and Republic sides, One chasing another. I look and see Masters Yoda and Windu and a holoprojected Obi-Wan Kenobi surrounding the Table, with deeply serious thoughts in their eyes, fingers on their concentrating chins. When I swiftly strolled in, I was greeted with Master Windu's cheerful, but serious voice: "Ah, Padawan Eban, good you're here, come quick, we must act with persistence if we want to gain an upper hand in this war." "Master Windu, good to see you, you too Master Yoda, Master Kenobi, what's the situation?" Master Obi-Wan states, "We are currently chasing Separatist forces to the planet Sarrish and we will need some back up, could you bring your part of the 104th battalion right away, we have heavy casualties and they're going to have reinforcements when they reach the planet." "Is there not anyone closer than me, it may take a few days for me to get there, yall mabe finished by the time I get there!" I said with hope in my eyes. "I'm afraid that you're the only one that is available with the most minimal time of arrival, you'll have to be quick though, it will be anytime now they will reach the planet and have reinforcements. we need this win, it will be a great victory for the Republic if we are able to capture the planet." Stated Obi-Wan with certainty. "All other generals are on missions right as we speak, you are the only one that can provide back up at this current time." Master Windu added "Closer to Knight after this mission you will be, great padawan you are, your great swift improvements, Master Plo is pleased with, believe in you I do." Master Yoda said with a jolly old-man voice. "Now go, there's not much time to waste, gather your men and go help Obi-Wan!" Rushedly said by Master Windu. "With determination in my voice, I yell "Yes Masters, right away!" And like a flash, I was gone. As I'm running off, I catch a glimpse of a green swoosh and the sound of a bolt deflection. I stumble to a stop and put my legs in reverse to give curiosity the wheel. When I peer in, I see Master Skywalker and Ahsoka, along with roughly 8 clone troopers all in a circle around Ahsoka and her one blade ignited. Master Skywalker had her eyes welded to her as he walked around the trooper. I could see Captain Rex standing and watching as well, although he seems to be the only one who spotted me poking in my head. He motioned his finger to his lips as to tell me to shush and not interfere, so I watched with anticipation. And after a lifetime stillness ending in a second after Master Skywalker yelled "START!" And stun doughnuts fire from the blasters of the troopers, sending a volley of blue twords Ahsoka from all directions. With great flexibility I pair with, she jumps into the air, spinning like skates on a skate rink in mid air deflecting all incoming plasmic projectiles landing with swift grace ready for more, And more came, she stands in the center blade moving almost faster than what my eyes could keep up with, until that one bolt punches her right in the back, knocking her to the ground, diminishing the blade back into the hilt. I spring into the room, speaking with worry in my voice when I squeak out "Ahsoka! Master Skywalker, what was that!?" 

"She was just training deflecting blaster fire, she's going to be outmatched a lot in this war, and clones are better than droids to practice with." Anakin said with pride that she was able to last little over a minute, thats improvement.
"Well I guess you're not completely wrong, but your going to give her a brain injury at this rate! Could you not go a bit easier on her?"
"She'll never learn if I go easy on her." Master Skywalker said with little arrogance in his voice.
"W- well, here, l-let me wake her then." I stuttered as I walked up to Rex holding Ahsoka like he's a pillow.
"Rex, do you mind if I-"
"Not at all General, here." Rex said as I sat next to him holding Ahsoka's top half of her body.

 As he caringly sets Ahsoka's rhythmically beating top half in my lap, head facing the heavens, I softly lay my hand over her forehead, close my eyes, and concentrate. A few suspenseful seconds later, I take my hand off and observe Ahsoka's hand softly glide to her now curling forehead, eyes fluttering open. 

With a smile I voiced"Wakey Wakey warrior princess, have a good nap?" Smirking the whole time.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes Nicksters." She groaned with fading pain.
"What are you doing here?" She leisurely grumbled as she started to lie propped up by her desirable, fluorescent orange arms made of flexible muscle.
"I was walking by, and saw a 'damsel in distress', I HAD to come and 'save the day'." I joked, smirking the whole time, annoying her little bit more.
"You know I have been dying to use my force heal on you since I had learned it. I bet you don't even feel bad at all right now hm?" I said leaning in
Ahsoka starts to stand as to get a feel for her own body.
"You're right, I feel better than I did before, not bad for someone named Nicks." Ahsoka said smirking right back at me.
"Oh come on, that was one time, that was even before we became patiwans!" I said with little dramatics in my vocal verberations.
"Ok Master, I'm ready to try again." Ahsoka said to Master Skywalker
"Not now Ahsoka, we have a mission from the Jedi council we have to attend to while Obi-Wan is on his own mission." Anikan said to Ahsoka, elongating his 'not' like he usually does
"I'm actually about to go give help to Obi-Wan right now… WHICH I NEED TO GET PREPARED FOR NOW!! Karabast, got to go! See yah Ahsoka, Master, Rex." And like a ship entering hyperspace, I was gone.
Chapter 2

 After 2 boring days traveling in hyperspace, me and my 5 Veneter class Cruisers are nearing our destination, this would make 12 Cruisers for the Republic side. A new commander CT'-4112 or Zerek, debriefs on the battle situation. As I had sensed, Obi-Wan was outmatched seeing as backup was on planet Sarrish for the fleeing Separatist ships, now it's 11 Munificent class Cruisers and 2 command stations blockading the planet. Kenobi was starting to be pushed back, relying on our Cruisers longer ranged cannons to hope the Sepies didn't get too close. Our Cruisers have longer ranged main canons and toms of fighter room, while the Sepies Cruisers have more fire power at closer ranges with more fighters than our Vendor class Cruisers, at closer ranges, the Sepies would completely destroy a Venetor class Cruiser, but we have strategies and will power. 

"Glad to see a friendly face Saya." Kenobi said exhaustingly.
"Well, it looked like you needed help. You know I need to be the one to save everyone. I'll move into position to fortify our defenses to push the Sepies back and for us to make a plan. What is your fleet's condition?"
"We have 2 Venetors heavily damaged and the rest either have mild to no damage. And we have lost half our fighters as of now." Urgently said by Kenobi.
"Ok, I'm sending men and supplies to you right now, let me take the front so I can take the damage if they send another attack." I calmly said to Kenobi.
"Men battle positions and set all power to front cannons and shields. Venators get into pincer position and get ready for an attack. Fighters get ready to launch." I commanded to all my Cruisers
"Master, if you could, could you add in your undamaged Venetors? " I wandered and directed with much mastery, I even made Obi-Wan himself visually impressed considering my inexperienced mind in life, and especially war. I even managed to make him smile.
"Getting in position now." Obi-Wan stated, still smiling.
"Understood, While you get everything fixed, I'll see if I can weaken their defenses, it seems as if they're in attack positions so we gotta be ready for anything." I said in deep thought.
"Ok, 10 to 13, I like those odds, makes it even, more so for the Sepies." I grinned.
"Now Saya, remember this is still a battle, don't be too cocky, you're starting to remind me of Anakin." Obi-Wan said with conviction.
"Yes Master, sorry about that." I answered to Obi-Wan, pulling back a little.

 Just then, many starfighters come from the enemy Cruisers, hundreds of them lightning fast, closing distance fast. 

"All right men, time for some fun. Obi-Wan, if you want to take command of my control center, I'll lead this fight." I said before Obi-Wan could respond.
"Ok- but Saya! Blast, maybe he's too much like Anikan." Obi-Wan said defeatedly.
As I get into the hangar I yell "Alright Wolfpack, let's get goin!" Then I hop into my modified Jedi A-wing.
We rush out from the center roof door along the Cruiser with my squadron aka The Wolfpack, with me leading my 23 fighters into battle and many more friendly's following from the hangars.
"Ok Wolfpack, let's make a break for them Cruisers, get as many of them gone as possible. 411 you ready?" I asked R2-411. R2-411 bleeps with readiness.
"Ok, time to blow them out of the sky, remember, stay in formation" I commanded.
"Yes sir!" The Clones bellowed.

 Then we hit the swarm with a mighty thundering sound of lasers flying through the emptiness of space seeing one after one of enemy fighter droids dropping all over the place. Me and my Wolfpack fly through all the 2 winged Vulture droids that look like each wing was sideways and has 2 prongs each side for wings. They were way more quick and maneuverable than us, but we had a duty to win, and we won't lose today. It's like a firework show, but you're dodging all the fireworks, and they're aiming right at you. While we are defending the Venator Cruisers, they're mostly firing at the Sepies Cruisers, slowly dwindling their energy shields down. 

"Boys, I have a plan, but I'll need yall to get back to the Cruisers." I urged
"Obi-Wan, how's the 2 heavily damaged Cruisers? We've been out for a long while. They should be good by now right?" I questioned Master Kenobi.
"They're about to come back into the fight, but one of our Cruisers is at a quarter shield, few good hits or bombing runs and it's gone, what's your plan Saya?" Obi-Wan said, perplexed.
"Just give me an opening to the left Separatist control center, that's all I need to get on that ship." I stated with confidence.
"I'll try my best, but don't be stupid Saya, we can't afford to lose you."
"Yeah yeah I know, just get me an opening please Master!" I begged.

 After the words fleeted from my mouth, all the Cruisers fired a hole through the droid fleet with friendly fighters also making way for me to get through. I blast the afterburners straight through the enemy swarm that's been lesson by the commotion, just barely being hidden by smoke from a just destroyed fighter straight into the leftmost control ship hanger landing with an explosive entry. And immediately I jump out, igniting both, my straight emerald green saber in my left, and my yellow saber with a curved hilt similar to the Count's hilt himself in my right. I'll face him again one day, it's inevitable, like me. I land and immediately cut a group of B1 battle droids heads off with my yellow saber facing out, giving me more reach, but as I start to take fire from the army that quickly form from my landing, I swiftly doge left to right almost able to doge the sight of a human eye. Left, pop goes the heads of 3, right, pop goes 5, jump through the air on an almost straight path through the thick of the army, spinning with a light show if one were to be an onlooker at this chaotic organization of flying red plasmic bolts going to a mix of yellow and green, then proceeding to fly straight back at the shooter with twice the velocity. I land on my feet with a thunderous "BOOM" with what seems like an explosion that incinerates half of the whole hanger with an electric yellow glow seeming like yellow lighting exploded from the epicenter of the explosion. When the smoke cleared, it seemed that everything within a 5 meter radius was completely incinerated, and everything within 40 meter radius was heavily damaged, and any technology within eye shot was either scrape or short-circuiting, but all B1 battle droids and super battle droids were out. 

I sighed with relief with little heavy breathing when I looked around me, but with no time to rest, 6 Vulture droid fighters came through the hanger's magnetic shield door, transforming to walk on its pronged wings like they were legs. They scanned me and started raining a flurry of red down onto me, but with my lightning fast reflexes, I raised my sabers to block the incoming hellfire from all six fighter's. Then came the flurry being deflected in any direction possible, and I could just barely see the 6 droids started to surround me by going behind my back, but I ain't done yet. As I'm blocking, jumping, spinning, twisting on a micrometer, I stomp with a mighty force, launching through the air, slowly spinning straight for a Vulture that has became the prey. Bolts whizzing by me, inches, centimeters near my skin, singeing my arm hairs to their roots. I land on top of the droid with a thunderous boom crunching where my foot had landed, driving my sabers straight through the brain of the story high droid, with a counterclockwise rotation around my back, dragging my sabers across the metal of the droid, I leap off the droid landing with the feathers and fly forward with a flashing dash slicing through 2 other droids legs, leaving gravity do its magical job. 3 down, 3 to go, but with little time left. I launch forward running on hairs dipping and dodging blots, I leap up slicing through one leg of a droid and pushing off of its gravity taken hull, coming down on another droid's leg, cutting with ease. I land like a leaf in the autumn skies, and launch with a swift leap, flying my yellow saber straight down the middle of the 6th and final droid with no time to spare.

 I land with caution, ready to fend off another foe, but none came at that second, so I took the opportunity and ran with it straight to where the main reactors should lie. I swiftly sprint with force leaps through the air to get to the reactor, the ship is 270th of a circle with a ball where the command center is, the middle is the only connected between the back of the ball and the inner back of the circle, that's where the reactor is, im at the left most side, may take me a minute to reach it, but I can get there without being seen. My plan was to quickly fix and rewrite a Vulture droid's code to go with my command, not going to be the best work but it will work, hopefully. I had to act fast because I knew there were going to be hundreds more droids to come to see the commotion, I'd say within the minute. The codes used on the droids are not the best, because of mass production, so It was an easy fix, I just needed it to fly a small bit. It comes back to life with a putt to its movement, I directed it to start flying while I'm on its back, putting the whole time with smoke, just what I needed. I start to move forward as fast as possible. As we get around the hundreds of battle droids below, I'm starting to speed up, and as I see the reactor room, I could hear B1's yell " HEY! STOP! YOUR GOING TO FAST" in their robotic voice. Before I hit the Shield covering the reactor room, I jump off to the left where the blast door is for the room. With the distraction of the droid smashing into the shield, I use this time to slowly cut through the blast doors with both sabers starting at the bottom of the door, going up and around to form a circle I can fit through. I was through within a Minute, unnoticed, or so I was led to believe. When I get into the reactor room, I throw explosives all over the reactors, with a detonation in T minus 1 minute. I fly out of the room, calling for 411 to bring my ship as fast as possible, 55. Running across the hanger, I'm spotted by the hundreds of battle droids, which immediately start firing right as they see me 50. The explosion of the fighter droid caused a chain to nearby explosive barrels, exploding more Vulture droids causing tons of smoke and fires to spread around the hangar area, 45. As I'm running, my yellow saber is blocking multiple bolts flying at me while I'm jumping, spinning, performing acrobatic movements while being shot by hundreds of droids, from B1's, to super's, to droideka's, all firing at me, adding to the smoke, 35. Running with young blood in my veins, I perform 1, 2, 3 long jumps and leap onto the side of a slanted destroyed Vulture droid, 30. I jump up, reaching for the cloudy sky just as 411 swoops in predictively shoving my hand into the side of the sharp A-wing hull, 25. I grab the side of the hull and pull myself up into the cockpit, grabbing the controls, 20. I spin to the exit with roughly 67° of the hanger I need to shoot out of, I fire the afterburners using the circumference of the circle and my fighters movment to my advantage, 15. Pushing forward, I am drifting an A-wing around the hangar of a Separatist capital ship skimming the walls centimeters away from an explosive fiery death, 10. I barely screamed out of the hanger, to be able to see a view of the capital ship flying stright for the other Sepie capital ship, 5. Im still firing the afterburners to try and attempt to get a safe distance away from the soon to be collision sight, 4. I let 411 take the control's, 3. I turn my head to look back, 2. I see the collision of the 2 270° hangers, 1. I watch as i get the view of a star being formed right infront of my eyes, and seeing many Sepie Cruisers being absolutely engulfed by the flames, and a blast wave decimating the Vulture droids… blast wave…. BLAST WAVE! Just then I'm thrown far, along with the debri. I manged to gain control of the craft and start performing advanced monuvers to avoid being hit by debrie that will demolishe me and my tiny fighter. 

"Saya, can you hear me? Saya?" Master Obi-Wan Kenobi pleaded.
"Yeah, yeah master, I'm good, I'm fine. Woo…!" I said with a sigh of relief.
Chapter 3

 The explosion had decimated the Separatist forces leaving 4 Cruisers sustaining heavy or mild damages, but with an opening, Obi-Wan and I travel to the ground along with Captain Cody to go for a large ground assault. Master Obi-Wan's plan was to drop in and gather our troops and split them between Obi-Wan and commander Cody. We were west, they were east. The Separatists had the high ground seeing as they had a cliff to their advantage. Flying in on gunships, we were taking heavy fire from their anti aircraft cannons. Commander Cody and I are debriefing the squad on the way to the rally point, seeing gunships after gunship falling to the rocky ground in a fiery explosive ball of red hot metal, and screams, with no plants in sight, just rocks, gunships, and red streaks flying by. Explosions booming right next to us with our doors right open. We have been ordered and ordering troops to stay far away from the mountain top gun fortifying the mountain top of the cliff, leaving that gun for the gunships and the best of the clone troopers, or ARC (Advanced Recon Commandos) troopers to deal with that later, seeing as a ground assault is too dangerous for us. As some of the clones have said, it's not an easy mission, but hops are high. 

"30 seconds until landing." A clone trooper yelled to me and Cody.
Cody starts with "All right, listen up! Maintain squad formations, 'A' squad, You're on me-" ZZZZZEEEROW- BOOOM!
"Where hit!" I yell "Everyone! Hold on!"
Before we hit the ground I leap out of the gunship with a backwards somersault, force pulling all the troops out of the burning fireball heading for the ground, grabbing all of the men, including the 2 pilots at the front, breaking through the windows. I land like rain from the sky, catching the troops I just pulled out with my powers and have them roughly land on the fluffy rocks next to our now downed gunship, no casualties yet. I rush over to take cover under our gunship on its left side behind enemy lines. I sit and meditate as they come up with a plan.
"What's the status lieutenant?" Cody asked
"5 injured thanks to General Saya, but that's not that bad news… Does that Rock look familiar?" The lieutenant asked.
"Yea, the mountain, right where we're not supposed to be." Said Cody
"General Kenobi ordered us not to try taking this section from the ground." The lieutenant regenerated back again with what was already established.
"That's what he said…but what would the general do if he were here?" Cody rhetorically asked.
"Saya sir, what do you think?" A trooper asked me somewhat desperately.
"I think Cody should take this one, I've got your back Cody." I answered with my legs crossed, eyes closed, slightly levitating over the rocks.
"Eight-Eight-Six-Seven through Eight-Eight-Six-Nine and Saya, fix your grapples and come with me. Everybody, prepare for covering fire." Cody ordered.
I get up, eyes still shut, ready to block anything coming our way.
"NOW!" Cody yells, sprinting across what is our no-man's-land
I open my eyes, ignite my Sabers, Green in left, yellow in right, and dash towards the now incoming blaster fire. I sense it, left side, block, right side, deflect, one for Cody, deflected. We get to some stalagmites at the bottom of the mountain, sustaining heavy fire, I pose as a distraction for all the fire, deflecting as many blots as I can back at the metal men. One troop trips and falls, pow, bolt straight through the head. Cody and the men shoot the grappling hooks up towards the top of the mountain and start climbing. I jump from my spot reigniting my sabers, driving them through the mountain side, helping me grab hold with my feet. And when I look up, I see a grapple fall behind me. I tried to grab the rope but I was too late. When I managed to obtain it, he had already hit the ground. Another tragedy, one that never had to happen, life being wasted away. I look up, a droid stairs emotionlessly down into my emotion filled eyes. A blue bolt shoots past me, impacting the droid's head, sending the body backwards.
Cody and the other clone rises from the cliff side as I leap up from the side, landing in front of the clones and immediately start deflecting with my 2 sabers having nothing pass. Cody takes this opportunity to run around my defense and attacks the droids head on, bashing one droid with the butt of his rifle and swinging his rifle at another, destroying both of them. The droid manning the anti aircraft gun turns and aims at Cody. Instinctively I jump in front of the cannon as it fires, I deflect the large bolt away with my right yellow saber, knocking my body to the right, making me stumble. But with the motion throwing me to the right, I use the momentum to throw my green saber with my left hand, impaling the droid in the metal chest. Cody then hops onto the turret, points the gun at the droids firing at our men, and lets loose, destroying all in its reticle.
"Thanks General, I owe you one, ill getcha next time." Cody said slowly getting off the turret.
"You're alright my friend, just pay it forward, let's go see how Obi-Wan did." I slightly worried, staring off to the north.

 We group up at the randevu, where we have set base camp on the planet in a small raven a bit away from where we captured the cliff with some makeshift scouting towers dotted around our position. Obi-Wan had more resistance than what he had anticipated, he was a little banged up, but he was fine in the end. This was a huge victory seeing as we have been able to set base on a planet that allows us to get resources through this hyperspace route and onto parts of the army past this point. Before, General Grievous snipped our route to where we couldn't get resources to our army on the other side from Coruscant. 

Chapter 4

 12 hours later, we have rested and have managed to build up a good base incase of a surprise attack. We are still fighting a few fronts of Separatist holdouts with a fortress a few klicks west, or about 4 miles west. 

I sit in my tent meditating, reflecting back on the weeks events, and what Ahsoka was doing back at the temple, training hard. I recite what I did with an almost overwhelming amount of blaster fire attempting to fly into me, how I was just mostly averting the blots away from me and not in a direction that would benefit me most.
'RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE'

 The ground started to shake out of nowhere, breaking my peace. I rush out of my tent, only to be met with a face full of B2 battle droid. I jump back over my tent flipping onto my feet as I see my tent being lit into flames from heavy bolt fire flying at me. Igniting both my sabers, I deflect the incoming fire away from me up into the sky as much as I physically could. I took a glance around, it was becoming more sunlit as we fought. It was a slaughter, clones dying left and right, Kenobi was on the Command ship getting patched, so it was just me, and the clones down here, being manicured. With a swift right step, I change lightsaber form, combining my form 3, (defensive form blocking anything coming way, and either making, or waiting for an opening to strike) with a combination of form 2 (saber to saber form, putting least amount or saber movement and preferring precise efficient movements) and form 4 (saber from using the force to enhance physical abilities, and heavily utilizing fast acrobatic movements to move around and disorient the opponents, using wide sweeping saber movements to block and hit targets) I use the power if the many bolts to propel my body onto my right leg, crouching down and taking a huge lead in to the air. Looking around like it is moving in stop motion, I see thousands of droids around, completely outnumbering my men. Glancing down where I had jumped from, there seems to be a super battle droid rising from the ground, looking as if it has been there for at least a few days. Time seems to start like normal again, immediately I have to block bolts coming for my body, twisting, turning, deflecting every. single. bolt. right to another droid. I can't have any more unneeded deaths in my hands. I land with an impactful explosion of yellow lighting, rendering half of the electronics on the field obsolete. Shots fire over the wall, exploding near me. 

"Everyone, Retreat!" I yelled into the comms.
I ran towards the lieutenant that I had survived the crash with, he was running for a troop transport.
"Get to the ships, return to the Venators! Get Kenobi and relay what has happened!" Urgency blowing through my voice.

 I push him into the ship as it takes off. As it's doing so, I force push it away from the field as to be in less danger of being shot down. But rockets fly through the air, I reach through the force and grab onto the hurdling death traps, I grab 1, 2, crash them into one another, 3, grab, 4, grab, 5, miss. ERRROW… BOOOM! With a hopeless explosion, the ship bursts into an explosive ball of fire, right in front of my eyes, out of my grasp. Shots fly past my head from behind me, I ignite my sunlit yellow saber to block incoming bolts. No men, only metal remains, and it wants me dead. I dash for my ship on the other side of the airstrip, luckily barely touched from this horrible surprise party that invited everyone I very much dislike. Hopping into my A-wing, I lift-off dogging left, right, up, down, roll left, roll right, barely being passed by on all sides by cannon fire. When I reach the point past the clouds, there's a whole war above. Separatist forces have surprised Kenobi with an overwhelming number of ships, putting our war torn 12 Venators against 16 Munificent class Cruisers. We were greatly out matched. But the time I was in space we had lost 3 Vectors compared to there 1 lost. Droids noticed me coming from the planet and started to verge onto my position. 

"Obi-Wan! You there? Can you hear me?" I yelled, pulling evasive maneuvers.
"Saya, is that you?" Kenobi asked.
"Yes, we got surprised on the ground, seems the same happened here." I rushingly said.
"Yes, they came out of nowh-" Kenobi is cut off by a blaring siren from my cockpit.
"Wait, my ship is damaged, it's starting up my hyperdrive, 411 can you fix it?" I said dipping left and right while trying to stop the hyperdrive activation.
With a few bleeps of fear, I understand what's happening.
"When I was thrown from the capital ship explosive wave, I must have been hit near the hyperdrive, and explosions from my escape, along with the maneuvers I have been pulling, it may have caused damage that is registering a hyperdrive activation. Master Obi-Wan, I don't know, I-I don't know what to do!" I claimed with fear in my eyes.
"Can you deactivate the hyperdrive at all 411?" Kenobi asked
411 bleeps with a sad toon.
"Blast, Saya, does it say where you're going?"
"N- No, my council just says ERROR." I stated, now with much fear in my voice.

 I managed to steer my craft into the position of the hyperspace lane. 

"Tell Ahsoka good bye if I don't-" I get cut off when the the hyperdrive powered up woth a vvvvvvvvvvvVVVVERRRRRRR PEEOW, and just like that, me, my A-wing, and R2-411, are gone.
Chapter 5

 It's been days since the battle, mabe 2 or 3 days. Luckily I always keep many ration bars in my fighter to last me a good few days, along with my extra water and my ability to go into a deep meditative state, conserving food and water. Keeping me company is my meditation and 411. We have almost hit some unknown objects, could have been planets, asteroids, other ships, but we seem to be staying in hyperspace lanes luckily, or I would have been dead a long time ago. My class 2 hyperdrive could have taken me all over the galaxy by now, I could be heading towards Coruscant right now for all I know. 

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
My hyperdrive warning kicked on, showing that there is a massive gravity force in my path. The console flashed with big red dangerous letters "Exiting Hyperdrive" on the screen.
"YES! FINALLY!" I yelled with excitement.

 I watch through the glass to see a barren looking planet, and a similar looking moon, a moon I was heading to. I was moving fast, as I entered the moon's atmosphere, Im grabbing the controls, barely anything. My craft is red hot from the rate at which I'm coming in on. I'm grabbing the stick, pulling back as much as I can, as to try and save myself and 411 from a fiery death. I scraped by a big rocky mountain dealing more damage to my A-wing. 

"HOLD ON 411!"
"Come ooooon. Pull pull pullllll…. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!-" VERRROW BOOOOSH!!! The crash landing sounded like a bomb flying through the air, then landing on its target. I try to get from my seat just to find my strap and window will not open. Using my saber I cut off my seat strap and broke the window from the hinges and leaped out, taking 411 from the craft, swiftly landing on a tall mountainous rock. The craft seemed to have pushed through the land 50 meters from the initial impact spot. The area I was in seemed to be very rocky terrain with many rocky canyons and huge rocks that are almost mountainous. The sun was close to setting down for the night but was still a good hour away from sleeping.

 With the force by my side, I felt a very uneasy sensation telling me to stay out of sight. I duck down on the tall skinny rock taking 411 down with me. 411 confusingly bleeps when I do so. "Hey, I have a feeling right now, just keep quiet real quick, there's somebody coming. Trust me." Me and 411 peer over the edge looming over my crashed ship just as a group of 6 men in full armor covering their whole body fly in with jetpacks strapped to their backs, blasters in hand. As they land, they search around my wreckage, presumably looking for survivors. One seems to be ordering the others around, pointing at one to look in one direction, another a different direction, and scanning around for the unexpected visitor. I look down at my Wrist link, my distress signal wasn't sent, I guess that was damaged from entering the planet at such high speed with no deflector shields surrounding the ship like a protective blanket. 

"Blast, 411, what's your S.O.S signal situation, did it go through?" 411 beeps with a little drama like I should know it didn't go through.
"Well sorry for busting your rusty bolts you rowdy rancor, better to try than to just give up mister sassy pants. Maybe I should wipe your memory for a change, see how you like it."
"Now shush, don't want them to find us spying on them, won't look too good." I demand. "Now here, in case we get caught, I don't want them to know I'm a Jedi, so here, take my sabers, I'm not gonna need them anyways." I said shoving my lightsabers into 411's storage compartment and looking towards the crash again.

 Just then the suit of armor that had been commanding his squad bursts up into my view right on my face out of hyperspace blue. 

"Ah, found ya trespassers, you 2 are coming with me." Demanded the Mandalorian with a snickering sound in his voice as the others rise from the portal of the abyss from down below.

 It was a good thing my ropes where in the tent back on Sarrish, or this may have been an even worse situation, Mangalorians like them hate Jedi with a passion, and it's a good thing I always have a broken blaster in 411 for any cases where I need to blend in with a crowd or pose as a normal civilian; although, the ability to become a civilian at any point is great, I've had little need to do so much. I'm quite popular with the people for being one who tries to connect with the population as a fellow citizen. So I rarely stay in the temple for too long. I love being with the people and learning skills without the force, like being a mechanic, electrician, public speaker, security guard, an all around great person to talk with about anything. I'm quite known on all levels of Coruscant for being one of the most friendly Jedi to be around. Right now though, I need to focus on not being caught, at least That's what my gut is telling me. After they searched my character for any weapons and found the broken blaster that 411 had put in my holster where my lightsaber usually is, they were satisfied and pushed us into one of their big Kom'rk Mark 1 class Mandalorian starfightetransport ship. 

(Look in comments for 6th)

Not sure what's causing this issue but it only happens when on VPN. I use my phone hotspot for work. I have Nord VPN on both my phone and laptop. Randomly, my hotspot stops working, VPN can't connect anymore, then my cell network goes down. I have to manually reset the cell network and reconnect to Nord to fix it.
Sometimes it causes my computer network to shut down and basically deletes the WiFi button at the bottom, disabling the ability to even search for a network. I have to reset the network here as well to reconnect.
I had to turn off killswitch and Always On because it was doing its job and shutting it all down. Now sometimes this happens and I dont even realize it until I see my VPN isn't connected or my computer doesn't have WiFi anymore.
Anyone know what could be causing this? Ive used Nord for years and never had any problems until now.
Thanks!

It's not just B&S. Beat Saber is an epileptic jittering nightmare, Super Hot won't even load, and B&S is all but unplayable not just because the software is crashing on the load screen, but the controller drift (both of them) makes it absolutely unplayable.
This isn't a gripe about B&S, I think my Q2 is just kaput. And I don't really care to sink any more money into Facebook (I will NOT call it the other thing) to get it fixed or replace anything. So... if anyone on here also has the PCVR version, what am I looking at price-wise to go with that option instead?
I have an Inspiron 7506, 11th Gen Intel Core i7-1165G7 @ 2.80GHz, 16 GB RAM, IRISx MAX graphics (I don't know if that means anything to anyone, I'm obviously not typically a PC player). So what am I missing for PCVR (besides the headset, obviously)?
I don't want to miss out on crystal hunt and REALLY want to keep supporting this awesome game, but man... I've taken as good of care of my quest as possible, it's only a year and some change old, and crapping out like this. I ain't sinking another dime into the zuckerverse vanity project.

Okay, kind of long but here goes.
My 10 year old autistic son has REALLY struggled with school the past 2 years, after a year at home doing remote education where he really flourished. He used to be quiet and shy, then broke out of his shell and started really engaging with adults mainly. Then school started up again... He turned into a kid who has outbursts at school. It started with minor stuff - whining, passive refusal, not following rules like "don't touch the instruments in music", bossing other kids around, complaining, being silly, getting up from his seat... and escalated over the year at a steady rate. Crying, throwing himself to the floor, refusing to do work, shouting... Improved temporarily when they found an EA. By the next year, the EA had retired and they had no one so it escalated again to picking up chairs, making threats to himself or others, running out of the room or building. The school was understaffed and their solution was let him scream in the hall, put him on the floor in the hall to eat lunch, or stick him alone in a room to work. I wasn't told he was having FORTY MINUTE LONG meltdowns. No one told me. He doesn't do it at home. They said no one was able to help him.
So they started to call me to leave work to pick him up. They just did not have anyone to support him, so the behaviours escalated. Discipline didn't help. Kindness didn't help. Nothing really seems to work.
One problem was other kids teasing and egging him on - this was not addressed IMHO and while I don't condone his responses, he was solely blamed for it. He developed an extreme aversion to other children, and is now hypersensitive to anyone even looking at him, thinks kids hate him, assumes the worst. His self esteem tanked.
He has been through a LOT (sudden death during covid of his grandma he saw daily his whole life 2 years ago, extreme bullying to the point some kids smashed our window and he can't play outside alone now, lack of support at school, a highly stressed mom (me), new babies at his dad's, lots of changes). I do not blame the school for being understaffed, many of them tried. It was extremely stressful for all of us. But it was traumatic to my son.
He is now at a new school for a month and the behaviours have carried over. He's in an autism class with only 6 kids, 1 teacher, 2 support teachers. They do part of their day with their own grade, then go back to their home room for most of the time. It really seems amazing there. But. He still seems unable to handle it. Still spending his day crying, shouting, whining, refusing, melting down, won't go near other kids or interact.... It's breaking my heart and they don't know what to do there either.
At HOME? He's been doing amazing. He started therapy in early 2022. First group for a few months, then 1 to 1. They work on social skills, emotional skills, how to express his empathy, problem solve, etc. They are wonderful and positive and supportive of autism. I have seen extreme gains at home in so many areas. At his dad's (separated) he has become so kind and patient with his little brothers. When I take him out, he's mostly great.
The worst issue I have at home is mainly avoiding/arguing a little or repeatedly asking me to buy apps and whining lol. Normal kid stuff with the spice of autism. He is wonderful if I ask him to help with chores, tell him it's time for bed, etc. He brings his dishes to the sink and gets himself ready on time. He definitely does have a pervasive "negative" attitude in some ways. Getting frustrated a lot when he can't immediately be good at something, giving up fast, complaining, using inappropriate expressions when he's mad ("I should kick that stupid guy in the face" type stuff)... We are working on that. But he's NEVER physically aggressive, mean, or destructive. Doesn't really have meltdowns anymore, very rare when he's overwhelmed. Has started self regulating and getting his weighted blanket out or fidgets or asking to go for a little walk.
Lately he has been more emotional, crying sometimes, missing his grandma, feeling hopeless. I feel like, no wonder, with everything he's been through. I am getting him into psychotherapy soon, while we work on it at home too and I'm starting parent coaching sessions soon, just trying to find the right fit for 1:1 psychotherapy with autism. He is definitely anxious, and I am concerned about it.
The school is still pushing for meds. But the side effects worry me. It absolutely is behavioural but I also can't tell how much is environmental. Problem is, consequences don't help, neither do rewards. But he must have SOME control as he doesn't act this way anywhere else, even under pressure.
I know school is the hardest environment, but it feels so risky to start trialling medications, without knowing long term affects, when he is doing so great at home... There's not a ton of promising research on effectiveness. Even SSRIs, risk of suicidal thoughts scares me - mental illness like bipolar, depression, anxiety, alcoholism, runs in the family on all sides. And affects on growth/development have been shown with most psych meds. His appetite is always low and he's a restrictive eater. He will not eat much for breakfast, even preferred foods, barely lunch either. My other concern is medication interactions - he has allergies and it's not daily, but when he needs to take his meds, he REALLY needs them.
My dream solution would be quit my job, try to homeschool. As a single parent, not an option sadly.
Has anyone else experienced this? I feel so, so lost. What do other people do? Has anything worked for your kids?
That's a lot, and if you read it all, thank you lol.

Hi I recently travelled through Thailand and Malaysia with my Camera and on my first day I noticed that I forgot my SD at home, which forced me to buy one there. I ask a few shops in popular touristy street in Kuala Lumpur. When I finally found a guy who would sell one to me I was happy at first, but the memory card came with a few issues. First: the adapter, which the SD came with, wouldn't work, but luckily I found someone who had a spare adapter, so now the camera (sony a6400) would recognize the card. Second problem: the camera would display the pictures only for a few seconds, than they turned into a "not displayable" blackscreen. I had no Laptop with me, so I kept shooting, hoping, that at home, the pictures would show on my PC. Only until I found out, that the size of the pictures would be normal (like 24MBs), but neither windows nor Lightroom nor the sony software would display the pictures.
So I tried some free recovery software, which didn't work either: "file may be to damaged"; "file could be corrupted"
does anyone know how I fix my problem & how to recover my picture?
​
P.S.: the first pictures I took (JPEG) would be fine, but the rest (90%) are not displayable (JPEG & AWR files !)

I made a character and this sotry for star wars (i made this story for my English finals, i had a month to make it and got an A on it), the characters name is Saya Eban and is a character I have been thinking of for over a decade now (im not in my 2nd decade so since i was super young). Saya at this time is 13-14 years old and was given inspiration by almost all the other jedi and also star killer. He is human and with reliance on the force he can live up to 1000 years with hi peak being between 35, 40 ish to around 800 years of age. In terms of prime power level and potential, in my canon he is 3rd most powerful character just underneath luke and anikan Skywalkers, but could contend with them at some points. Little background: he was a prodigy in school before he became a padawan, he always had an intrest in a character named Ahsoka Tano but never became more than friends because of the Jedi teachings. He was a fast learning youngling and became a padawan earlier than most other younglings, becaming a padawan at the age of 11 - 12. He was in the first battle of Genesis but his troop transport ship was blasted out of the air, landing behind enemy lines leaving him the sole surviver, and scarring him, making him want to never see uneeded bloodshed ever again. He met Count Dooku before he had met Obi-Wan and Anikan on geonosis, he locked blades with him once... once, before he was thrown aside like a house fly, not worth his time, he was out until the retreat of the battle was initiated. This gave him night terrors and nightmares, after this day he could never sleep more than an hour, if that, before he woke up feeling the dark side creeping in. So he had learned to use sleep meditation. Sleep meditation allowed him to accelerate his trainings and connect greater to the force, he had unlocked 1/3 of his life now, the force helping his cells heal his body while he sat and meditated.
This story is of how he lived through one of the bloodiest battles and worst losses of the Republic, the battle of Sarrish, and of how he had obtained his later main star ship, a Kom'rk Mark 1 class star fightetransport, aka the Puro (i made this story before I have watched the 3rd season of the Mandalorian, as of right now i still haven't so Idk if thats in season 3 or not).
There is about 11,340 words in the story, and I don't 100% know of what I should make him look like so have your imaginations run wild.
Ok here we go:
Tales of Saya Eban's Puro
Chapter 1

 The battle of Sarrish was one of the worst battles of the Clone Wars, it was a great devastating loss to the Republic and the Jedi, and I was in the middle of it all. Before the battle I was doing some touch-ups on my A-wing Fighter. I had managed to get my hands on a hyperdrive that would fit in my small fighter, although being able to enter hyperspace without an external hyperdrive wing is very convenient, fast, and easy, it does slow my fighter and hinder some mobility, but not an uncontrollable amount of loss. Little did I know it'd save my life later that week. After I had finished my work, gotten it restocked for my next battle, I was called to the Jedi command center for a briefing by Master Yoda, saying it was an urgent mission and I was needed now, with his backwards way of speaking annoying me slightly. In a flash, I had gathered my battle ready loadout and headed off to the command center. When I entered the command center with the center planning table showing starships from both Confederate and Republic sides, One chasing another. I look and see Masters Yoda and Windu and a holoprojected Obi-Wan Kenobi surrounding the Table, with deeply serious thoughts in their eyes, fingers on their concentrating chins. When I swiftly strolled in, I was greeted with Master Windu's cheerful, but serious voice: "Ah, Padawan Eban, good you're here, come quick, we must act with persistence if we want to gain an upper hand in this war." "Master Windu, good to see you, you too Master Yoda, Master Kenobi, what's the situation?" Master Obi-Wan states, "We are currently chasing Separatist forces to the planet Sarrish and we will need some back up, could you bring your part of the 104th battalion right away, we have heavy casualties and they're going to have reinforcements when they reach the planet." "Is there not anyone closer than me, it may take a few days for me to get there, yall mabe finished by the time I get there!" I said with hope in my eyes. "I'm afraid that you're the only one that is available with the most minimal time of arrival, you'll have to be quick though, it will be anytime now they will reach the planet and have reinforcements. we need this win, it will be a great victory for the Republic if we are able to capture the planet." Stated Obi-Wan with certainty. "All other generals are on missions right as we speak, you are the only one that can provide back up at this current time." Master Windu added "Closer to Knight after this mission you will be, great padawan you are, your great swift improvements, Master Plo is pleased with, believe in you I do." Master Yoda said with a jolly old-man voice. "Now go, there's not much time to waste, gather your men and go help Obi-Wan!" Rushedly said by Master Windu. "With determination in my voice, I yell "Yes Masters, right away!" And like a flash, I was gone. As I'm running off, I catch a glimpse of a green swoosh and the sound of a bolt deflection. I stumble to a stop and put my legs in reverse to give curiosity the wheel. When I peer in, I see Master Skywalker and Ahsoka, along with roughly 8 clone troopers all in a circle around Ahsoka and her one blade ignited. Master Skywalker had her eyes welded to her as he walked around the trooper. I could see Captain Rex standing and watching as well, although he seems to be the only one who spotted me poking in my head. He motioned his finger to his lips as to tell me to shush and not interfere, so I watched with anticipation. And after a lifetime stillness ending in a second after Master Skywalker yelled "START!" And stun doughnuts fire from the blasters of the troopers, sending a volley of blue twords Ahsoka from all directions. With great flexibility I pair with, she jumps into the air, spinning like skates on a skate rink in mid air deflecting all incoming plasmic projectiles landing with swift grace ready for more, And more came, she stands in the center blade moving almost faster than what my eyes could keep up with, until that one bolt punches her right in the back, knocking her to the ground, diminishing the blade back into the hilt. I spring into the room, speaking with worry in my voice when I squeak out "Ahsoka! Master Skywalker, what was that!?" 

"She was just training deflecting blaster fire, she's going to be outmatched a lot in this war, and clones are better than droids to practice with." Anakin said with pride that she was able to last little over a minute, thats improvement.
"Well I guess you're not completely wrong, but your going to give her a brain injury at this rate! Could you not go a bit easier on her?"
"She'll never learn if I go easy on her." Master Skywalker said with little arrogance in his voice.
"W- well, here, l-let me wake her then." I stuttered as I walked up to Rex holding Ahsoka like he's a pillow.
"Rex, do you mind if I-"
"Not at all General, here." Rex said as I sat next to him holding Ahsoka's top half of her body.

 As he caringly sets Ahsoka's rhythmically beating top half in my lap, head facing the heavens, I softly lay my hand over her forehead, close my eyes, and concentrate. A few suspenseful seconds later, I take my hand off and observe Ahsoka's hand softly glide to her now curling forehead, eyes fluttering open. 

With a smile I voiced"Wakey Wakey warrior princess, have a good nap?" Smirking the whole time.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes Nicksters." She groaned with fading pain.
"What are you doing here?" She leisurely grumbled as she started to lie propped up by her desirable, fluorescent orange arms made of flexible muscle.
"I was walking by, and saw a 'damsel in distress', I HAD to come and 'save the day'." I joked, smirking the whole time, annoying her little bit more.
"You know I have been dying to use my force heal on you since I had learned it. I bet you don't even feel bad at all right now hm?" I said leaning in
Ahsoka starts to stand as to get a feel for her own body.
"You're right, I feel better than I did before, not bad for someone named Nicks." Ahsoka said smirking right back at me.
"Oh come on, that was one time, that was even before we became patiwans!" I said with little dramatics in my vocal verberations.
"Ok Master, I'm ready to try again." Ahsoka said to Master Skywalker
"Not now Ahsoka, we have a mission from the Jedi council we have to attend to while Obi-Wan is on his own mission." Anikan said to Ahsoka, elongating his 'not' like he usually does
"I'm actually about to go give help to Obi-Wan right now… WHICH I NEED TO GET PREPARED FOR NOW!! Karabast, got to go! See yah Ahsoka, Master, Rex." And like a ship entering hyperspace, I was gone.
Chapter 2

 After 2 boring days traveling in hyperspace, me and my 5 Veneter class Cruisers are nearing our destination, this would make 12 Cruisers for the Republic side. A new commander CT'-4112 or Zerek, debriefs on the battle situation. As I had sensed, Obi-Wan was outmatched seeing as backup was on planet Sarrish for the fleeing Separatist ships, now it's 11 Munificent class Cruisers and 2 command stations blockading the planet. Kenobi was starting to be pushed back, relying on our Cruisers longer ranged cannons to hope the Sepies didn't get too close. Our Cruisers have longer ranged main canons and toms of fighter room, while the Sepies Cruisers have more fire power at closer ranges with more fighters than our Vendor class Cruisers, at closer ranges, the Sepies would completely destroy a Venetor class Cruiser, but we have strategies and will power. 

"Glad to see a friendly face Saya." Kenobi said exhaustingly.
"Well, it looked like you needed help. You know I need to be the one to save everyone. I'll move into position to fortify our defenses to push the Sepies back and for us to make a plan. What is your fleet's condition?"
"We have 2 Venetors heavily damaged and the rest either have mild to no damage. And we have lost half our fighters as of now." Urgently said by Kenobi.
"Ok, I'm sending men and supplies to you right now, let me take the front so I can take the damage if they send another attack." I calmly said to Kenobi.
"Men battle positions and set all power to front cannons and shields. Venators get into pincer position and get ready for an attack. Fighters get ready to launch." I commanded to all my Cruisers
"Master, if you could, could you add in your undamaged Venetors? " I wandered and directed with much mastery, I even made Obi-Wan himself visually impressed considering my inexperienced mind in life, and especially war. I even managed to make him smile.
"Getting in position now." Obi-Wan stated, still smiling.
"Understood, While you get everything fixed, I'll see if I can weaken their defenses, it seems as if they're in attack positions so we gotta be ready for anything." I said in deep thought.
"Ok, 10 to 13, I like those odds, makes it even, more so for the Sepies." I grinned.
"Now Saya, remember this is still a battle, don't be too cocky, you're starting to remind me of Anakin." Obi-Wan said with conviction.
"Yes Master, sorry about that." I answered to Obi-Wan, pulling back a little.

 Just then, many starfighters come from the enemy Cruisers, hundreds of them lightning fast, closing distance fast. 

"All right men, time for some fun. Obi-Wan, if you want to take command of my control center, I'll lead this fight." I said before Obi-Wan could respond.
"Ok- but Saya! Blast, maybe he's too much like Anikan." Obi-Wan said defeatedly.
As I get into the hangar I yell "Alright Wolfpack, let's get goin!" Then I hop into my modified Jedi A-wing.
We rush out from the center roof door along the Cruiser with my squadron aka The Wolfpack, with me leading my 23 fighters into battle and many more friendly's following from the hangars.
"Ok Wolfpack, let's make a break for them Cruisers, get as many of them gone as possible. 411 you ready?" I asked R2-411. R2-411 bleeps with readiness.
"Ok, time to blow them out of the sky, remember, stay in formation" I commanded.
"Yes sir!" The Clones bellowed.

 Then we hit the swarm with a mighty thundering sound of lasers flying through the emptiness of space seeing one after one of enemy fighter droids dropping all over the place. Me and my Wolfpack fly through all the 2 winged Vulture droids that look like each wing was sideways and has 2 prongs each side for wings. They were way more quick and maneuverable than us, but we had a duty to win, and we won't lose today. It's like a firework show, but you're dodging all the fireworks, and they're aiming right at you. While we are defending the Venator Cruisers, they're mostly firing at the Sepies Cruisers, slowly dwindling their energy shields down. 

"Boys, I have a plan, but I'll need yall to get back to the Cruisers." I urged
"Obi-Wan, how's the 2 heavily damaged Cruisers? We've been out for a long while. They should be good by now right?" I questioned Master Kenobi.
"They're about to come back into the fight, but one of our Cruisers is at a quarter shield, few good hits or bombing runs and it's gone, what's your plan Saya?" Obi-Wan said, perplexed.
"Just give me an opening to the left Separatist control center, that's all I need to get on that ship." I stated with confidence.
"I'll try my best, but don't be stupid Saya, we can't afford to lose you."
"Yeah yeah I know, just get me an opening please Master!" I begged.

 After the words fleeted from my mouth, all the Cruisers fired a hole through the droid fleet with friendly fighters also making way for me to get through. I blast the afterburners straight through the enemy swarm that's been lesson by the commotion, just barely being hidden by smoke from a just destroyed fighter straight into the leftmost control ship hanger landing with an explosive entry. And immediately I jump out, igniting both, my straight emerald green saber in my left, and my yellow saber with a curved hilt similar to the Count's hilt himself in my right. I'll face him again one day, it's inevitable, like me. I land and immediately cut a group of B1 battle droids heads off with my yellow saber facing out, giving me more reach, but as I start to take fire from the army that quickly form from my landing, I swiftly doge left to right almost able to doge the sight of a human eye. Left, pop goes the heads of 3, right, pop goes 5, jump through the air on an almost straight path through the thick of the army, spinning with a light show if one were to be an onlooker at this chaotic organization of flying red plasmic bolts going to a mix of yellow and green, then proceeding to fly straight back at the shooter with twice the velocity. I land on my feet with a thunderous "BOOM" with what seems like an explosion that incinerates half of the whole hanger with an electric yellow glow seeming like yellow lighting exploded from the epicenter of the explosion. When the smoke cleared, it seemed that everything within a 5 meter radius was completely incinerated, and everything within 40 meter radius was heavily damaged, and any technology within eye shot was either scrape or short-circuiting, but all B1 battle droids and super battle droids were out. 

I sighed with relief with little heavy breathing when I looked around me, but with no time to rest, 6 Vulture droid fighters came through the hanger's magnetic shield door, transforming to walk on its pronged wings like they were legs. They scanned me and started raining a flurry of red down onto me, but with my lightning fast reflexes, I raised my sabers to block the incoming hellfire from all six fighter's. Then came the flurry being deflected in any direction possible, and I could just barely see the 6 droids started to surround me by going behind my back, but I ain't done yet. As I'm blocking, jumping, spinning, twisting on a micrometer, I stomp with a mighty force, launching through the air, slowly spinning straight for a Vulture that has became the prey. Bolts whizzing by me, inches, centimeters near my skin, singeing my arm hairs to their roots. I land on top of the droid with a thunderous boom crunching where my foot had landed, driving my sabers straight through the brain of the story high droid, with a counterclockwise rotation around my back, dragging my sabers across the metal of the droid, I leap off the droid landing with the feathers and fly forward with a flashing dash slicing through 2 other droids legs, leaving gravity do its magical job. 3 down, 3 to go, but with little time left. I launch forward running on hairs dipping and dodging blots, I leap up slicing through one leg of a droid and pushing off of its gravity taken hull, coming down on another droid's leg, cutting with ease. I land like a leaf in the autumn skies, and launch with a swift leap, flying my yellow saber straight down the middle of the 6th and final droid with no time to spare.

 I land with caution, ready to fend off another foe, but none came at that second, so I took the opportunity and ran with it straight to where the main reactors should lie. I swiftly sprint with force leaps through the air to get to the reactor, the ship is 270th of a circle with a ball where the command center is, the middle is the only connected between the back of the ball and the inner back of the circle, that's where the reactor is, im at the left most side, may take me a minute to reach it, but I can get there without being seen. My plan was to quickly fix and rewrite a Vulture droid's code to go with my command, not going to be the best work but it will work, hopefully. I had to act fast because I knew there were going to be hundreds more droids to come to see the commotion, I'd say within the minute. The codes used on the droids are not the best, because of mass production, so It was an easy fix, I just needed it to fly a small bit. It comes back to life with a putt to its movement, I directed it to start flying while I'm on its back, putting the whole time with smoke, just what I needed. I start to move forward as fast as possible. As we get around the hundreds of battle droids below, I'm starting to speed up, and as I see the reactor room, I could hear B1's yell " HEY! STOP! YOUR GOING TO FAST" in their robotic voice. Before I hit the Shield covering the reactor room, I jump off to the left where the blast door is for the room. With the distraction of the droid smashing into the shield, I use this time to slowly cut through the blast doors with both sabers starting at the bottom of the door, going up and around to form a circle I can fit through. I was through within a Minute, unnoticed, or so I was led to believe. When I get into the reactor room, I throw explosives all over the reactors, with a detonation in T minus 1 minute. I fly out of the room, calling for 411 to bring my ship as fast as possible, 55. Running across the hanger, I'm spotted by the hundreds of battle droids, which immediately start firing right as they see me 50. The explosion of the fighter droid caused a chain to nearby explosive barrels, exploding more Vulture droids causing tons of smoke and fires to spread around the hangar area, 45. As I'm running, my yellow saber is blocking multiple bolts flying at me while I'm jumping, spinning, performing acrobatic movements while being shot by hundreds of droids, from B1's, to super's, to droideka's, all firing at me, adding to the smoke, 35. Running with young blood in my veins, I perform 1, 2, 3 long jumps and leap onto the side of a slanted destroyed Vulture droid, 30. I jump up, reaching for the cloudy sky just as 411 swoops in predictively shoving my hand into the side of the sharp A-wing hull, 25. I grab the side of the hull and pull myself up into the cockpit, grabbing the controls, 20. I spin to the exit with roughly 67° of the hanger I need to shoot out of, I fire the afterburners using the circumference of the circle and my fighters movment to my advantage, 15. Pushing forward, I am drifting an A-wing around the hangar of a Separatist capital ship skimming the walls centimeters away from an explosive fiery death, 10. I barely screamed out of the hanger, to be able to see a view of the capital ship flying stright for the other Sepie capital ship, 5. Im still firing the afterburners to try and attempt to get a safe distance away from the soon to be collision sight, 4. I let 411 take the control's, 3. I turn my head to look back, 2. I see the collision of the 2 270° hangers, 1. I watch as i get the view of a star being formed right infront of my eyes, and seeing many Sepie Cruisers being absolutely engulfed by the flames, and a blast wave decimating the Vulture droids… blast wave…. BLAST WAVE! Just then I'm thrown far, along with the debri. I manged to gain control of the craft and start performing advanced monuvers to avoid being hit by debrie that will demolishe me and my tiny fighter. 

"Saya, can you hear me? Saya?" Master Obi-Wan Kenobi pleaded.
"Yeah, yeah master, I'm good, I'm fine. Woo…!" I said with a sigh of relief.
Chapter 3

 The explosion had decimated the Separatist forces leaving 4 Cruisers sustaining heavy or mild damages, but with an opening, Obi-Wan and I travel to the ground along with Captain Cody to go for a large ground assault. Master Obi-Wan's plan was to drop in and gather our troops and split them between Obi-Wan and commander Cody. We were west, they were east. The Separatists had the high ground seeing as they had a cliff to their advantage. Flying in on gunships, we were taking heavy fire from their anti aircraft cannons. Commander Cody and I are debriefing the squad on the way to the rally point, seeing gunships after gunship falling to the rocky ground in a fiery explosive ball of red hot metal, and screams, with no plants in sight, just rocks, gunships, and red streaks flying by. Explosions booming right next to us with our doors right open. We have been ordered and ordering troops to stay far away from the mountain top gun fortifying the mountain top of the cliff, leaving that gun for the gunships and the best of the clone troopers, or ARC (Advanced Recon Commandos) troopers to deal with that later, seeing as a ground assault is too dangerous for us. As some of the clones have said, it's not an easy mission, but hops are high. 

"30 seconds until landing." A clone trooper yelled to me and Cody.
Cody starts with "All right, listen up! Maintain squad formations, 'A' squad, You're on me-" ZZZZZEEEROW- BOOOM!
"Where hit!" I yell "Everyone! Hold on!"
Before we hit the ground I leap out of the gunship with a backwards somersault, force pulling all the troops out of the burning fireball heading for the ground, grabbing all of the men, including the 2 pilots at the front, breaking through the windows. I land like rain from the sky, catching the troops I just pulled out with my powers and have them roughly land on the fluffy rocks next to our now downed gunship, no casualties yet. I rush over to take cover under our gunship on its left side behind enemy lines. I sit and meditate as they come up with a plan.
"What's the status lieutenant?" Cody asked
"5 injured thanks to General Saya, but that's not that bad news… Does that Rock look familiar?" The lieutenant asked.
"Yea, the mountain, right where we're not supposed to be." Said Cody
"General Kenobi ordered us not to try taking this section from the ground." The lieutenant regenerated back again with what was already established.
"That's what he said…but what would the general do if he were here?" Cody rhetorically asked.
"Saya sir, what do you think?" A trooper asked me somewhat desperately.
"I think Cody should take this one, I've got your back Cody." I answered with my legs crossed, eyes closed, slightly levitating over the rocks.
"Eight-Eight-Six-Seven through Eight-Eight-Six-Nine and Saya, fix your grapples and come with me. Everybody, prepare for covering fire." Cody ordered.
I get up, eyes still shut, ready to block anything coming our way.
"NOW!" Cody yells, sprinting across what is our no-man's-land
I open my eyes, ignite my Sabers, Green in left, yellow in right, and dash towards the now incoming blaster fire. I sense it, left side, block, right side, deflect, one for Cody, deflected. We get to some stalagmites at the bottom of the mountain, sustaining heavy fire, I pose as a distraction for all the fire, deflecting as many blots as I can back at the metal men. One troop trips and falls, pow, bolt straight through the head. Cody and the men shoot the grappling hooks up towards the top of the mountain and start climbing. I jump from my spot reigniting my sabers, driving them through the mountain side, helping me grab hold with my feet. And when I look up, I see a grapple fall behind me. I tried to grab the rope but I was too late. When I managed to obtain it, he had already hit the ground. Another tragedy, one that never had to happen, life being wasted away. I look up, a droid stairs emotionlessly down into my emotion filled eyes. A blue bolt shoots past me, impacting the droid's head, sending the body backwards.
Cody and the other clone rises from the cliff side as I leap up from the side, landing in front of the clones and immediately start deflecting with my 2 sabers having nothing pass. Cody takes this opportunity to run around my defense and attacks the droids head on, bashing one droid with the butt of his rifle and swinging his rifle at another, destroying both of them. The droid manning the anti aircraft gun turns and aims at Cody. Instinctively I jump in front of the cannon as it fires, I deflect the large bolt away with my right yellow saber, knocking my body to the right, making me stumble. But with the motion throwing me to the right, I use the momentum to throw my green saber with my left hand, impaling the droid in the metal chest. Cody then hops onto the turret, points the gun at the droids firing at our men, and lets loose, destroying all in its reticle.
"Thanks General, I owe you one, ill getcha next time." Cody said slowly getting off the turret.
"You're alright my friend, just pay it forward, let's go see how Obi-Wan did." I slightly worried, staring off to the north.

 We group up at the randevu, where we have set base camp on the planet in a small raven a bit away from where we captured the cliff with some makeshift scouting towers dotted around our position. Obi-Wan had more resistance than what he had anticipated, he was a little banged up, but he was fine in the end. This was a huge victory seeing as we have been able to set base on a planet that allows us to get resources through this hyperspace route and onto parts of the army past this point. Before, General Grievous snipped our route to where we couldn't get resources to our army on the other side from Coruscant. 

Chapter 4

 12 hours later, we have rested and have managed to build up a good base incase of a surprise attack. We are still fighting a few fronts of Separatist holdouts with a fortress a few klicks west, or about 4 miles west. 

I sit in my tent meditating, reflecting back on the weeks events, and what Ahsoka was doing back at the temple, training hard. I recite what I did with an almost overwhelming amount of blaster fire attempting to fly into me, how I was just mostly averting the blots away from me and not in a direction that would benefit me most.
'RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE'

 The ground started to shake out of nowhere, breaking my peace. I rush out of my tent, only to be met with a face full of B2 battle droid. I jump back over my tent flipping onto my feet as I see my tent being lit into flames from heavy bolt fire flying at me. Igniting both my sabers, I deflect the incoming fire away from me up into the sky as much as I physically could. I took a glance around, it was becoming more sunlit as we fought. It was a slaughter, clones dying left and right, Kenobi was on the Command ship getting patched, so it was just me, and the clones down here, being manicured. With a swift right step, I change lightsaber form, combining my form 3, (defensive form blocking anything coming way, and either making, or waiting for an opening to strike) with a combination of form 2 (saber to saber form, putting least amount or saber movement and preferring precise efficient movements) and form 4 (saber from using the force to enhance physical abilities, and heavily utilizing fast acrobatic movements to move around and disorient the opponents, using wide sweeping saber movements to block and hit targets) I use the power if the many bolts to propel my body onto my right leg, crouching down and taking a huge lead in to the air. Looking around like it is moving in stop motion, I see thousands of droids around, completely outnumbering my men. Glancing down where I had jumped from, there seems to be a super battle droid rising from the ground, looking as if it has been there for at least a few days. Time seems to start like normal again, immediately I have to block bolts coming for my body, twisting, turning, deflecting every. single. bolt. right to another droid. I can't have any more unneeded deaths in my hands. I land with an impactful explosion of yellow lighting, rendering half of the electronics on the field obsolete. Shots fire over the wall, exploding near me. 

"Everyone, Retreat!" I yelled into the comms.
I ran towards the lieutenant that I had survived the crash with, he was running for a troop transport.
"Get to the ships, return to the Venators! Get Kenobi and relay what has happened!" Urgency blowing through my voice.

 I push him into the ship as it takes off. As it's doing so, I force push it away from the field as to be in less danger of being shot down. But rockets fly through the air, I reach through the force and grab onto the hurdling death traps, I grab 1, 2, crash them into one another, 3, grab, 4, grab, 5, miss. ERRROW… BOOOM! With a hopeless explosion, the ship bursts into an explosive ball of fire, right in front of my eyes, out of my grasp. Shots fly past my head from behind me, I ignite my sunlit yellow saber to block incoming bolts. No men, only metal remains, and it wants me dead. I dash for my ship on the other side of the airstrip, luckily barely touched from this horrible surprise party that invited everyone I very much dislike. Hopping into my A-wing, I lift-off dogging left, right, up, down, roll left, roll right, barely being passed by on all sides by cannon fire. When I reach the point past the clouds, there's a whole war above. Separatist forces have surprised Kenobi with an overwhelming number of ships, putting our war torn 12 Venators against 16 Munificent class Cruisers. We were greatly out matched. But the time I was in space we had lost 3 Vectors compared to there 1 lost. Droids noticed me coming from the planet and started to verge onto my position. 

"Obi-Wan! You there? Can you hear me?" I yelled, pulling evasive maneuvers.
"Saya, is that you?" Kenobi asked.
"Yes, we got surprised on the ground, seems the same happened here." I rushingly said.
"Yes, they came out of nowh-" Kenobi is cut off by a blaring siren from my cockpit.
"Wait, my ship is damaged, it's starting up my hyperdrive, 411 can you fix it?" I said dipping left and right while trying to stop the hyperdrive activation.
With a few bleeps of fear, I understand what's happening.
"When I was thrown from the capital ship explosive wave, I must have been hit near the hyperdrive, and explosions from my escape, along with the maneuvers I have been pulling, it may have caused damage that is registering a hyperdrive activation. Master Obi-Wan, I don't know, I-I don't know what to do!" I claimed with fear in my eyes.
"Can you deactivate the hyperdrive at all 411?" Kenobi asked
411 bleeps with a sad toon.
"Blast, Saya, does it say where you're going?"
"N- No, my council just says ERROR." I stated, now with much fear in my voice.

 I managed to steer my craft into the position of the hyperspace lane. 

"Tell Ahsoka good bye if I don't-" I get cut off when the the hyperdrive powered up woth a vvvvvvvvvvvVVVVERRRRRRR PEEOW, and just like that, me, my A-wing, and R2-411, are gone.
Chapter 5

 It's been days since the battle, mabe 2 or 3 days. Luckily I always keep many ration bars in my fighter to last me a good few days, along with my extra water and my ability to go into a deep meditative state, conserving food and water. Keeping me company is my meditation and 411. We have almost hit some unknown objects, could have been planets, asteroids, other ships, but we seem to be staying in hyperspace lanes luckily, or I would have been dead a long time ago. My class 2 hyperdrive could have taken me all over the galaxy by now, I could be heading towards Coruscant right now for all I know. 

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
My hyperdrive warning kicked on, showing that there is a massive gravity force in my path. The console flashed with big red dangerous letters "Exiting Hyperdrive" on the screen.
"YES! FINALLY!" I yelled with excitement.

 I watch through the glass to see a barren looking planet, and a similar looking moon, a moon I was heading to. I was moving fast, as I entered the moon's atmosphere, Im grabbing the controls, barely anything. My craft is red hot from the rate at which I'm coming in on. I'm grabbing the stick, pulling back as much as I can, as to try and save myself and 411 from a fiery death. I scraped by a big rocky mountain dealing more damage to my A-wing. 

"HOLD ON 411!"
"Come ooooon. Pull pull pullllll…. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!-" VERRROW BOOOOSH!!! The crash landing sounded like a bomb flying through the air, then landing on its target. I try to get from my seat just to find my strap and window will not open. Using my saber I cut off my seat strap and broke the window from the hinges and leaped out, taking 411 from the craft, swiftly landing on a tall mountainous rock. The craft seemed to have pushed through the land 50 meters from the initial impact spot. The area I was in seemed to be very rocky terrain with many rocky canyons and huge rocks that are almost mountainous. The sun was close to setting down for the night but was still a good hour away from sleeping.

 With the force by my side, I felt a very uneasy sensation telling me to stay out of sight. I duck down on the tall skinny rock taking 411 down with me. 411 confusingly bleeps when I do so. "Hey, I have a feeling right now, just keep quiet real quick, there's somebody coming. Trust me." Me and 411 peer over the edge looming over my crashed ship just as a group of 6 men in full armor covering their whole body fly in with jetpacks strapped to their backs, blasters in hand. As they land, they search around my wreckage, presumably looking for survivors. One seems to be ordering the others around, pointing at one to look in one direction, another a different direction, and scanning around for the unexpected visitor. I look down at my Wrist link, my distress signal wasn't sent, I guess that was damaged from entering the planet at such high speed with no deflector shields surrounding the ship like a protective blanket. 

"Blast, 411, what's your S.O.S signal situation, did it go through?" 411 beeps with a little drama like I should know it didn't go through.
"Well sorry for busting your rusty bolts you rowdy rancor, better to try than to just give up mister sassy pants. Maybe I should wipe your memory for a change, see how you like it."
"Now shush, don't want them to find us spying on them, won't look too good." I demand. "Now here, in case we get caught, I don't want them to know I'm a Jedi, so here, take my sabers, I'm not gonna need them anyways." I said shoving my lightsabers into 411's storage compartment and looking towards the crash again.

 Just then the suit of armor that had been commanding his squad bursts up into my view right on my face out of hyperspace blue. 

"Ah, found ya trespassers, you 2 are coming with me." Demanded the Mandalorian with a snickering sound in his voice as the others rise from the portal of the abyss from down below.

 It was a good thing my ropes where in the tent back on Sarrish, or this may have been an even worse situation, Mangalorians like them hate Jedi with a passion, and it's a good thing I always have a broken blaster in 411 for any cases where I need to blend in with a crowd or pose as a normal civilian; although, the ability to become a civilian at any point is great, I've had little need to do so much. I'm quite popular with the people for being one who tries to connect with the population as a fellow citizen. So I rarely stay in the temple for too long. I love being with the people and learning skills without the force, like being a mechanic, electrician, public speaker, security guard, an all around great person to talk with about anything. I'm quite known on all levels of Coruscant for being one of the most friendly Jedi to be around. Right now though, I need to focus on not being caught, at least That's what my gut is telling me. After they searched my character for any weapons and found the broken blaster that 411 had put in my holster where my lightsaber usually is, they were satisfied and pushed us into one of their big Kom'rk Mark 1 class Mandalorian starfightetransport ship. 

(Look in comments for 6th paragraph)

So as above. I like kratom but last year I went through full-blown withdrawals and it was the most terrifying feeling I ever experienced. Restless legs, heart arrhythmia, very heavy depression, lost about 11 kg in 2 months.
I kept adding up and up until at 10 grams of red MD I start having panic attacks, especially at nights so it turned quickly into being terrified of the next nights. So I have an addictive personality and I went to another - alcohol. It is a whole another story so I won't bother you about how bad alcohol addiction was aside with kratom + dependence and yes it is a difference when you actually need it to function.
Quit for about 2 months and in February I took 3 grams and felt ok. So I now dose once a week and it is most of the time on Sundays when already feel nervous and stressed out about work the next day (it is really shitty work). I take 7 - 11 grams every Sunday just to soothing out the anxiety and stress and try to enjoy rest of the weekend. Kratom is helping me extremely with anxiety and back pain (it is sometimes real strugle just to bend for something).
My questions are:
Will I become addicted or I am now?
Do I need to take it with less frequency?
How much does it actually take to become dependent (is it because i kept adding up last time?)
Do you recommend taking larger breaks from it or quitting it entirely? Will people actually see this post??? About tired when it comes to review

I'm trying to get the best performance I can on my pc, this has led me to enable window's secret "ultimate performance mode". I've did some research, and I dont THINK it damages your CPU or anything overtime, but im not sure

Like an oiled, well-run clockwork, she was there behind her front bar; one of the only recurrent things in his life. Younger by a few years too much to not justify this shrouded interest, aside from the detective's other woes he never cared nor had the time to worry about anymore. Nevertheless, Alec indulged, sat on the stool as innate as an hour hand moves half an inch after 60 minutes.
"Doctor. Hi."
A running joke direly accumulated from frequent visits. Brooke said their conversations reminded her of therapy. He wasn't sure how to interpret that.
Grunting in response, Alec removed the hat off his head before leaning forward, seeking to hear her voice better. It was too distractingly serene. "Busy night?"
"Only in passing. Remember, this is just a diner that serves drinks. No food. You can imagine how broad of a target audience I have."
"I got an idea."
Every night, like clockwork. She wiped the counter and talked about some book she finished recently. He went through a glass of Irish Coffee for about three hours, right on the edge of dusk. Each time, like clockwork, Alec walked her home without so much of a doubt of his company being welcome, nor a prospect of an invite. He never will.
(But he yearned; the press of a mattress scented with her skin, sounds narrowly gleaned underneath desperation and so, so much guilt.)
Brooke mentioned once that she had trouble with eye contact. "You ever been married, Doctor?"
"Can't say I have. It never felt right."
"Me neither. My previous husband told me the brunt of the problems' were on my side of the equation. One decade down the drain." Her bittersweet smile tugged on her lips, and Alec looked away. "Perhaps I was just unlucky."
"Marriage appear to be reserved for other people instead."
She didn't respond. The detective shifted his weight uneasily, expression becoming strained. "That isn't to say I'm not impartial in most things."
They arrived at her doorstep. Alec faced the opposite street, inspecting the surrounding perimeter. Feet shuffling. Keys taken out of a pocket. A lingering pause that raised the hairs on the back of his neck. "Thank you." She hadn't turned the lock as of yet, seemingly wanting to say more. For a moment, silence prevailed, raising hackles left and right.
"Maybe...someone could sway your opinion, Doctor, if you'd let it happen." Brooke stepped inside. "Well, I'll be waiting at the bar, as usual. See you then."
Like clockwork, she would thank him before locking the door, effectively shutting him out until they meet again later. She would provide the distance which allowed him to properly gather his thoughts in a more appropriate subject after a dream-like state.
(Golden band flickering against sunlight as her hair did. The simmer of ocean, grains of sand between crevices.)
Though this time might be different, and the detective won't be able to sleep it off.
(Pure, genuine bliss.)
-
Someone clearing their throat woke Alec abruptly. He raised his head from the desk to acknowledge the visitor, drowsy after hours of drinking. "Good morning..."
"Morning, detective. I heard you're the kind of man to inquire about pending affairs."
Given the impression he displayed for himself, Alec's potential client raised her brow, assessing him with an unseen checklist. So far, it seemed he was failing to meet standards.
"No secretary to greet for you?"
"Line of work. Couldn't ask some poor girl to die in my lobby now, can I?" He squinted at the ghostly woman who hovered over his shelves, peering into stacks of files. "How'd you come to know my services?"
"Pulled major strings. Had to give up a part of my space. I'm told it'd be worthwhile."
The detective straightened. Took a cigarette sitting on his ashtray and lit a match. "They aren't rumors passed by word of mouth. I strive to finish cases I've taken up."
She wore a striking pale green dress with a subtle slit on the side, showing off white, porcelain skin. Her hair became light reflecting on the bark of oak, long and slick on her bare shoulders. There was a weary manner about her tone, bleeding into her whole demeanor.
When she stared into his eyes, Alec couldn't help but be reminded of someone else. "Good. I need your help. My sister was murdered, and I want to know the son of a bitch who did this."
A/N: a little something i cooked up. there's still a lot i had planned for this prompt, but i think i'll leave it here for now. had a lot of fun conceptualizing lol.

So this is going to be long as I feel it's always important to share the full background of our relationship and what we have been through together.
Me (39/f) and my wife (35/f) have been together for 16 years, married for nearly 10. We are an interracial couple as well, her mom (her dad was probably okay with us but just went along with mom) never liked me because I'm white (among other issues) and always threatened to disown my wife if she stayed with me. Eventually we got married though (her parents didn't come to the wedding) and over time her mom seems to tolerate me now.
After my wife's dad passed away suddenly in 2013 (two months after we got married - her mom told her it was her fault, that the stress she caused them by marrying me gave her dad a heart attack; of course that's not true though!), my wife went through an existential crisis and then told me she wanted to transition (she was presenting male at that point). She told me early on when we were dating that she liked to cross dress and I had asked her how deep it went, did she think she was transgender, etc. and she told me at that time that she had previously thought about it, but was okay living life as a boy. What she didn't share at that time though was that she was okay with it because she thought when she'd die that she'd be a girl in heaven because you can be anything you want in heaven. So when her dad died, she faced her own mortality (this was the first person she ever lost in life, so that's a really heavy one as a first 😞) and started questioning what if there's no heaven, etc and decided she better transition so she can live without any regrets. This all came out in early summer 2014 after months of her pulling away from me, suddenly telling me sex was disgusting (after having been very sexual previously), a switch was flipped, and she no longer wanted to have sex ever again. I had no clue what was happening and she kept refusing therapy, etc and I finally broke down one night and asked if she wanted to divorce and she said no, so then I asked WTF was going on and THEN she told me she had been thinking about transitioning for months.
Unfortunately I had a horrible knee jerk reaction from the shock and dealing with the previous other stuff on top of it and said we'd divorce if she did that. 😓 It was really hard on me for a while, and I was still trying to figure it all out, while she was going full speed ahead because she had been thinking about it for months, while it was still new info to me. So essentially I eventually finally stopped thinking "I don't want to be with a woman", and started thinking "can I be with her?" And my mind shifted and when I told her I wanted to stay, but then she told me she wanted to separate and didn't think she felt the same way about me anymore. She essentially pushed me away again because as she later explained it to me, she was already accepting it was over before. We separated, she was staying with her brother temporarily and I moved out of the apartment the day before our first wedding anniversary. We had everything separated and the only thing left to do was make it legal, so when I told her to start looking for a mediator, she asked if we could hold off so she could figure out what she really wanted. 😓 Of course that made me angry. So to wrap up this part of the story, eventually she agreed to do couples counseling, we worked things out, she explained that she got turned off by sex because she knew I only saw her as a man at the time (before I even knew she wanted to transition) and we got back together. I moved back in with her in early 2015, even had a second wedding and renewed our vows in 2018. So essentially ever since early 2015, things have been great. Very happy, no conflict between us at all. Not even during covid.
Then last year she told me she was was suddenly thinking about death again. It was keeping her up at night and consuming her. I have since found out that it actually started in 2020, but she didn't say anything to me about it until last year! She told me she didn't tell me because she didn't want to drag me down with her. I encouraged her to go back to therapy and she did. She started reading books about Buddhism and Taoism too. Then out of no where, in early March, she asked to talk and said she thinks she's bisexual and polyamorous now and then said she wanted to explore this with her two best friends. 😩 My heart immediately shattered. She sees these friends a lot, in fact they're really the only two friends she sees. She told me she has no idea if they even return her feelings or if their even interested in poly relationships at all. They're both cis hetero men and they know she's trans. She also works with one of them. She actually worked with both of them, that's how she met them, but the friend she feels closest to just left the company a few months ago. She said she also knows it's a risk she might lose them as friends too, but just feels like she has to try. I asked her if she'd actively seek other partners if they turned her down and she said no.
This all came out while she's been dealing with her extreme fear of death. She's recently started seeing a new therapist for possible existential OCD. She and I both believe she has ADHD as well, symptoms definitely add up now that I've heard from friends/read more about it, but she hasn't sought to get an actual diagnosis yet. But essentially she told me, she was feeling this void in life (but I guess if you're so consumed by fear of death that it's likely you might feel a void in life?) and now all her views on life has changed - she no longer sees the world as black and white, she has let go of all boundaries and barriers and has let go of all attachments (this seems to be a Buddhism thing?). Her purpose now is to spread joy to people and make sure the people she loves are happy and fulfilled. She basically said she thought about a Chinese drama show she watched as a kid that involved a man having multiple wives, and a love and sex class in college that discused poly - why do we even have rules in life, etc and that "poly isn't bad" and "love isn't a bad thing". Her previous therapist asked her if she had anyone in mind to explore this with, she said she didn't. So then she intentionally thought who would she even explore this with (before saying anything to me), and then landed on these two friends because she "doesn't know anyone else". And then suddenly, poof she has romantic feelings for them? 😵‍💫 She has such strong feelings that exploring polyamory was the solution to her void, her focus is all on deepening connections with people now (except for me I guess?).
Essentially I'm 100% not okay with this and very monogamous and I've made it clear that if she HAS to explore this, we will have to divorce because I'll be miserable. I'm absolutely devastated after everything we've been through together and marrying twice, but I know I can't force her to stay either and she certainly can't force me to be okay with polyamory. She agreed to stop talking to these two friends while we tried to figure everything out so she hasn't even spoken to them since late March. She can't even say if she still has feelings for them right now since "she hasn't spoken to them for a while". She has been saying she wants to stay together, but because she had such strong feelings about this when she landed on it in her head, she's worried it'll resurface in the future. I just feel like there's multiple things going on and I had asked her weeks ago, what is her concern about not getting to explore polyamory and she literally said "it comes back to my issue with death". She's apparently accepted she's going to die, it's inevitable, but she's atheist now and believes there's nothing after death so if there's no memories or anything, then it's about what can she do with the one life she has to live? She said she wants to be able to experience and do everything she thinks she wants to try so she can look back on her life on her deathbed and say "at least I tried everything". This all comes across as a coping mechanism to me. 😞 But maybe I'm wrong and just in denial? Our couples counselor asked her if she feels stifled in our marriage and she said no. She confirmed she's 100% happy with me, there's nothing missing in our relationship, and there's nothing I need to do better, I do everything great. I just can't understand the mindset to throw away something you're 100% happy with, just to try something else. She even admitted she knows it might not work out, she may lose her friends, polyamory may not be what she thinks it is, but she just feels like she needs to TRY since she's so fixated on how she'll feel on her death bed in the future - and not trying something in her mind means she'll have regret at the end of her life and she wants to avoid that at all costs.
I know she doesn't want to lose me and says she wants to stay, but it's really hard for me to try to rebuild trust and she said she's lost faith in herself to commit again because of what's happened, she's worried she could be fine for another 5, 10+ years and then suddenly it might resurface that she has to explore poly.
Btw, she also did barely any research about polyamory before deciding she wanted to explore it and told me about it. So her decision/action was all based on what she's imagined in her head. It comes across as a coping mechanism to me about her issue with death and trying to make it "okay", but maybe I'm in denial? I'm 2014 she had started to drink and even tried vaping (she never smoked before) to try to cope with her discomfort. When I asked her to separate, I reminded her of that she asked if she has even considered this might be a coping mechanism and she said "maybe..." so I just told her she should probably explore that in therapy then.
She also told me that in order for her to consider other romantic relationships, it MUST be a deep connection in friendship first before she would try to make it romantic (but that's not even how we got together). So that just seemed odd to me, because if you start off platonic for a while anyway, there's no guarantee the other person will just magically develop feelings? And like you're going to intentionally try to make friends with poly people and tell them it needs to be platonic until she feels a deep connection, then she might consider making it romantic? 😵‍💫
So on Sunday night, I just told her I can't do this anymore. I can't sit here being lovey-dovey, saying I love you, making travel plans in the future like everything is fine. I told her I feel like I'm sitting here watching her stand in a doorway with one foot in and one foot out of our marriage and that she could leave at any moment. She's paralyzed, doesn't want to lose me because she IS very happy with me, but can't let go of the idea of exploring polyamory because then she's worried how she'll feel on her death bed the she didn't try it.
Btw, I don't think poly is inherently bad/wrong, it's just not something I want and my needs won't be met in the relationship. I even told her she may realize HER needs may no longer be met in the poly dynamic. I told her that our relationship is pretty conflict free (outside her existential crisises) and I don't want to throw a wrench into that by inviting possible conflict from her other relationships and how that could impact ours. It just seems too risky and I don't to deal with it. I've also spoken with poly friends on social media who have also gone through really horrible experiences, and I even met a woman last night who is going through divorce because she and her husband opened their relationship and it went horribly, her husband lied/cheated and now they're divorcing. She was the one who was curious about it too and said she's never doing it again.
Anyway, that's my story. I'm trying to focus on me now, in therapy and trying to deal with all the trauma. Trying to make new friends and fill up my time so I'm not sitting at home dwelling on it. It's definitely really hard to just move forward without the person I've been with for 16 years though and thought we'd be together forever, especially after everything we went through before. But while it's hard to imagine a future without her, it's also hard to imagine a future with her like this. 😞💔 Just trying to take it one day at a time right now. I'm going to go visit my aunt for a week on Saturday, so I'm looking forward to that.
Sending support and sympathy to everyone going through this. 💖

I dropped my s20+ in the pool whilst on holiday. The screen won't turn in, but it appears to be working. I bought a new s23+, but can't access any of my accounts as I have 2fa the email etc. My s20 has an esim and I can swap it from overseas. Is there a way to connect it to my new phone to view texts? I use pulsesms so thought I could connect and maybe grab the and import the sms log. Any other advice would be greatly appreciated.

Ok so I wanna get this started by saying I'm an overthink big time, I have also experienced guys lying about dating someone else while trying to date me
Now that that's been said
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few day well we made it completely official a few days ago, we met at work about a month ago.
I have noticed that when I come in the room he puts his phone away immediately, there are moments where he shows me his phone when we're watching short things on it like tiktok long kinda short
I kept telling myself it's just people sometimes are over protective over their phones or maybe he wants to show me that I have his full attention
But last night I had gone to get his head seats from my room he was out side
He normally has his audio so loud that I can he it last time I had his headsets I got scared because he opened his tiktok and it just surprised me
Anyways as I was walking out through the glass windows on the door I saw him on his phone he saw me and quickly put it away and I jokingly said "damn sir dming the other girlfriends" he immediately said that it was that he was watching to tiktok and didn't want me to catch him watching something weird
He showed me what he was watching it was just normal tiktok random shit but when he showed me the sound didn't come out of the phone it make out of the headsets
There's also the little fact that when he was showing me that he was just watching to tiktok, he had to move from Instagram to tiktok so he was clearly on Instagram after tiktok at the very least
Now, I kept thinking, maybe the headset where too far or maybe while he was trying to turn off his phone, he accidentally fat fingered Instagram
After he left, it had been 3 hours normally when he gets home, he DM's me to let me know he got home safely because he lives far not 3 hours far 1 hour far, I end up dming him to see if he's ok he dms back sorry forgot I was doing something
That's fine I get that I do that with my friends and family it happens
But today I DM him good morning and I instantly receive Free Msg: Receiver (his number) unable to receive message - Message Blocking is active.
I look up what that means I didn't want to jump to anything
And like I thought it means that the company could be blocking him from sending and receiving DMs, but I also found out that he could have his settings set so he won't get any DMs
I need help understanding all this and what's should I do because right now as much as I don't wanna jump to the worst I still am no matter how much I try not to think about it
Sorry for any misspelling grammar error I have dyslexia

i just started seeing a psychiatrist alongside my therapist. they double booked me on one day, which apparently isn't allowed because insurance won't cover both sessions, and we spent 10 minutes of a 25 minute session trying to solve the issue.
the therapy place i go to sends out zoom links 30-60m before your actual appointment (the links are new every time). i was booked for psychiatry at 10:30 and therapy at 11am, and received an unspecified zoom link at 10am. i got on the link 2 minutes early, and waited until 10:34 for the psychiatrist but she didn't show. then it hit me that i might've been waiting in the wrong room, and i went back to the scheduled google event & used the link i found there instead & turns out she was in there the whole time. my issue is that i wouldn't have used the wrong link if they hadn't scheduled me twice for the same day (or had at least lmk sooner so we could reschedule).
so i spent 10+ mins of a 25 min session fixing problems that happened due to scheduling issues that were not my fault. & i also can't see my therapist this week bc of this
i asked them to waive my copay & they said no and im rly annoyed bc i feel like this is an understandable situation if you just think about it from my shoes for an extra minute
am i being a karen or am i right to be annoyed and ask for a $10 refundlol

Ftm, and my daughter is 4 months old. For 2 months she has wanted no one to hold her or care for her but me. She will scream and cry if someone else holds her, and only in the last couple weeks has my fiance been able to tend her for about an hour at a time.
And my in laws and fiance, and their friends (with or without kids) say its my fault. Because during her first 2 months I had anxiety and separation issues when anyone would take the baby from me. Even with good intentions, so I can have me time for an hour or shower, or eat, etc... I only asked a few times, and even if I didn't, usually I'd only get 10 minutes before she was crying (less if she was awake when handed off.)
If I didn't go help, she'd cry and scream until mil brought her to me, or my baby screamed herself back to sleep! It got so bad it was just easier on my mental health to NOT have others take care of her.
My fiance keeps pushing 'socialize the baby, its good for her' but I'm the one that has to deal with unconsolable melt downs when she gets over stimulated or over tired from being handed around like a hot potato. His family has insisted its necessary and they can handle her but they haven't! Even when I tell them 'when she wakes up she'll be hungry', they'll strip her bare ("because her diaper bothers her"), sing and walk, and wonder whats wrong! And if they do make a bottle, they've waited too long and she's so upset she won't notice the bottle.
They discourage me from picking her up or 'running to her rescue' every time she cries. I don't! I'll wait a couple minutes to see if she'll calm down on her own, or if who ever has her can soothe her, but when a small fuss turns to full tear crying or screaming (like she's getting her shots) I can't help picking her up or taking her.
At 4 months old (almost 5) I still feel like its good to answer her cries. Especially if she isn't calming down on her own. Everything is new to her, and new can be scary.
I know a point will come when it isn't in my childs best interest for me to coddle them every time. When they need to be more independent. But I don't believe that is now, and maybe for a year. And I don't think it should be done by ignoring them, or repeating "chill" a dozen times from across the room.
Yes, I'm overwhelmed and frustrated I can't put my daughter down for 30 seconds to pee. But I think its just a phase and my daughters limited experience with 'not mom' people has made her not trust people. (Especially mil and her 'baby whisperer' friends. They can't even look at the baby without her crying.)
But I'm being blamed for 'projecting negative feelings', hogging my baby, avoiding socializing, and pushing my introvertness on her... And the more I hear it the more I wonder if I'm in the wrong.
Is it a phase? Is it my fault? Can it be helped? If I'm wrong, what can I do to fix it? If I'm not wrong, how do I explain to my 'fact and logic' fiance that being her support now isn't guaranteed to make her a 'velcro teen'.

Sorry this is SUPER SUPER long, I need to write this out as a form of cathartic release and don't necessarily expect anyone to read it. I originally posted this in the UARS sub but my experience might help someone here too. There's a TLDR at the end which says what I did to fix it.
It's been a long and miserable ride but I'm writing this to let anyone who is suffering know that it can get better. It takes a buttload of perseverance which is difficult when you're chronically exhausted but there isn't really much of a choice for any of us in that regard is there? I'm now 27 and I'm bitter and angry at how this shit ruined my life but I made it through so w/e. Just to preface, I'm well aware what worked for me won't work for most. This is more about providing closure for myself than anything. I'd also like to state this experience has entirely changed my opinion of doctors. Hear what they have to say and work with them, but you need to learn everything you can to help yourself and absolutely challenge them on anything they say that doesn't feel right/you don't understand. If they react with patronizing hostility, then find someone else. Listen to what your body is telling you and recognise that your intuition is valid and important. Sure, you'll get it wrong a lot but you get better at figuring out what works the longer you work at it.
So this is what happened to me:
Just after I graduated uni I started feeling extremely tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I got. It's a special kind of tired I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with. One that feels like you've been drinking heavily after running a marathon. Weeks/months pass and that exhaustion compounds. The first two years were terrifying and I had fully accepted my life was over. Doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me and I was accused many, many times of lying or that I was just severely depressed. I was severely depressed but it was because chronic sleep deprivation is a mental prison. I went down the psychiatry route though and was on literally everything at one point or another, from Seroquel which left me drooling in a chair for a week to brintellix, which I equate to panic attacks in pill form. I also got a healthy xanax addiction from my psych who said there was no withdrawal. The fact he had a picture of Kurt Cobain on his desk should have been a red flag I guess. Granted, mirtazapine allowed me to keep my head above water but I got super fat, and only now that I've recently come off I realized it affected my cognitive ability greatly. I knew, even then, the root cause of my depression was sleep deprivation and I think it's important to note for anyone going through this now that no amount of antidepressant (even if it 'helps you sleep') is going to fix sleep-disordered breathing. This type of medication has its place and I'm not discouraging anyone from trying it but the previous point is important.
After barking up the wrong tree many times (psychiatrists, endocrinologists, neurologists, etc). I finally found an ENT surgeon. This was about 4 years in and by that point, I had little faith they'd be able to do anything. After an at-home sleep study and examination, the surgeon was extremely confident it was UARS. So for the first time in years, I had a glimmer of hope and booked myself in for a very expensive septoplasty, adenoid removal, and turbinate reduction op. At the same time, he referred me to an orthodontist who made a mandibular device to keep my airway open at night (also very expensive). Fast forward a month and I'm all healed but I still feel terrible. The mandibular device was worthless as well (in my case). The surgeon hands me a card for a counselor. Great.
So then I move on to CPAP as I now know through the sleep study I did I'm waking up multiple times a night due to increased respiratory effort. After a lot of trial and error, I'd say it brought me from feeling like shit to feeling meh most days. Meh was an incredible improvement, however, and I was very grateful. I lived like this for a long time. Things were good enough for me to work but only in the most basic roles. Pretty soul-crushing really considering I aced school in the hopes of becoming a marine biologist.
Last year I read somewhere that taking antihistamines (claritin) right before bed helped their UARS. The source was sketchy AF and I didn't really put much stock in it but I was willing to give anything a fair chance. And it worked. Uninterrupted, beautiful sleep for a few months. It really is quite incredible just how different I am as a person when I'm well-rested. Literally every aspect of my well-being improved. I was happy but also horrified at how long I'd lived in the braindead state UARS creates. 7 years is a long time to feel that way and it's left its mark.
The antihistamines of course stopped working. I tried many different types but none of them worked as well as Claritin did. This did however provide a key piece of information that would ultimately be the last piece of the puzzle. If I reacted so well to taking antihistamines before bed then allergies had a role to play in my breathing at night. Allergies to what though? I wasn't sneezing and I didn't have itchy eyes. Turns out a dust mite allergy doesn't present that way in everyone. I've lived with my grandparents (not because I want to believe me) almost all the way through this and the carpets haven't been changed in 30 years. I've also noticed my sleep would weirdly improve if I stayed in other places. I sleep pretty deeply in hotels for example. I was in a rainforest in Malaysia for a few days a while back and forgot my CPAP and slept phenomenally. Whether that means I truly have UARS or not I'm not sure. I still sleep with it as I haven't been able to recreate that anywhere else. What it does say is that it is subtle rhinitis brought on by a dust mite allergy that triggers my SDB and creates UARS-like symptoms. I'm now having the carpets replaced with hardwood floors, using mattress/pillow covers, and using Flonase every night. Breathe Right strips have also been an absolute game changer in conjunction with CPAP. Using them in concert has made me realize just how limited my nasal breathing really is, even after surgery. If you haven't tried it yet, I recommend giving it a shot. While I'm waiting for the floor to be replaced, I have the air intake of my CPAP placed directly by an open window which also has been working great. That's only a solution for summer though really.
And that's it. I sleep well almost every night now. The relief I feel both physically and mentally is immense but as I've said, this destroyed my life and fundamentally changed me as a person. I'd like to try and see the silver lining but it's given me so much baggage I don't really know where to start. I go to bed scared it'll come back every single night. Even the slightest hint of tiredness makes me paranoid. That's what therapy is for I guess. If you're reading this, I hope it helps you in some way. Shit sucks and I hope you find relief quicker than I did.
TLDR: FUCK UARS and I'm sorry for anyone who is dealing with sleep-disordered breathing. I'm cured and it was a combination of septoplasty, adenoid removal, turbinate reduction, CPAP, and finally an awareness of my dust mite allergy and the relentless use of breathe right strips and flonase.

Hey guys, my friend is having a big big problem with his new GPU. Let me give you some context:
Some months ago, suddenly, white horizontal lines has appeared on his monitor, we thought that was because of the GPU and/or the PSU. So, he got the GPU out and played using his CPU integrated graphics until now. He got a hold on a tested and working Nvidia GTX 1060 AND a brand new PSU but the problem with the strange white lines on his monitor was still there, we searched the web and tried to solve it thinking it may be a software problem but we took in consideration the option that the motherboard PCIe port was also damaged or something. We tried the following solutions:

• Complete driver re-install using DDU and safe mode and all that.
• Windows re-install

That's all that we found on the web and we tried the two solutions with different steps several times.
Now, why do we think that it may not be a hardware problem? Because those strange vertical/horizontal lines weren't always there. Let me explain the details:The first time that we tried to solve the problem (yesterday) he installed the drivers for the GPU both manually and automatically using GeForce Experience and it still didn't work, BUT he shut down the PC, slept for three hours and after powering it back on the issue was gone, no strange lines, when right clicking on the monitor, the option for Nvidia Control Panel would come up, and also, there was NO yellow triangle in device manager the windows recognized the GPU, everything was fine.
!!! Now, after updating his windows version, the problem came back: We have the yellow triangle in device manager that says Error code: 43 when we right click and go to the properties and there is not Nvidia control panel anywhere at all, the GPU doesn't get recognized I guess.We can't explain why it worked before and suddenly, after a windows update, it won't work no matter what we try to do. We want some advice and see if it is actually a hardware problem. !!!His motherboard is an old DELL 0GY6Y8. Below you can find a photo of the lines.
https://i.imgur.com/5z2Lywh.png

Sorry this is SUPER SUPER long, I need to write this out as a form of cathartic release and don't necessarily expect anyone to read it. There's a TLDR at the end which says what I did to fix it.
It's been a long and miserable ride but I'm writing this to let anyone who is suffering know that it can get better. It takes a buttload of perseverance which is difficult when you're chronically exhausted but there isn't really much of a choice for any of us in that regard is there? I'm now 27 and I'm bitter and angry at how this shit ruined my life but I made it through so w/e. Just to preface, I'm well aware what worked for me won't work for most. This is more about providing closure for myself than anything. I'd also like to state this experience has entirely changed my opinion of doctors. Hear what they have to say and work with them, but you need to learn everything you can to help yourself and absolutely challenge them on anything they say that doesn't feel right/you don't understand. If they react with patronizing hostility, then find someone else. Listen to what your body is telling you and recognise that your intuition is valid and important. Sure, you'll get it wrong a lot but you get better at figuring out what works the longer you work at it.
So this is what happened to me: Just after I graduated uni I started feeling extremely tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I got. It's a special kind of tired I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with. One that feels like you've been drinking heavily after running a marathon. Weeks/months pass and that exhaustion compounds. The first two years were terrifying and I had fully accepted my life was over. Doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me and I was accused many, many times of lying or that I was just severely depressed. I was severely depressed but it was because chronic sleep deprivation is a mental prison. I went down the psychiatry route though and was on literally everything at one point or another, from Seroquel which left me drooling in a chair for a week to brintellix, which I equate to panic attacks in pill form. I also got a healthy xanax addiction from my psych who said there was no withdrawal. The fact he had a picture of Kurt Cobain on his desk should have been a red flag I guess. Granted, mirtazapine allowed me to keep my head above water but I got super fat, and only now that I've recently come off I realized it affected my cognitive ability greatly. I knew, even then, the root cause of my depression was sleep deprivation and I think it's important to note for anyone going through this now that no amount of antidepressant (even if it 'helps you sleep') is going to fix sleep-disordered breathing. This type of medication has its place and I'm not discouraging anyone from trying it but the previous point is important.
After barking up the wrong tree many times (psychiatrists, endocrinologists, neurologists, etc). I finally found an ENT surgeon. This was about 4 years in and by that point, I had little faith they'd be able to do anything. After an at-home sleep study and examination, the surgeon was extremely confident it was UARS. So for the first time in years, I had a glimmer of hope and booked myself in for a very expensive septoplasty, adenoid removal, and turbinate reduction op. At the same time, he referred me to an orthodontist who made a mandibular device to keep my airway open at night (also very expensive). Fast forward a month and I'm all healed but I still feel terrible. The mandibular device was worthless as well (in my case). The surgeon hands me a card for a counselor. Great.
So then I move on to CPAP as I now know through the sleep study I did I'm waking up multiple times a night due to increased respiratory effort. After a lot of trial and error, I'd say it brought me from feeling like shit to feeling meh most days. Meh was an incredible improvement, however, and I was very grateful. I lived like this for a long time. Things were good enough for me to work but only in the most basic roles. Pretty soul-crushing really considering I aced school in the hopes of becoming a marine biologist.
Last year I read somewhere that taking antihistamines (claritin) right before bed helped their UARS. The source was sketchy AF and I didn't really put much stock in it but I was willing to give anything a fair chance. And it worked. Uninterrupted, beautiful sleep for a few months. It really is quite incredible just how different I am as a person when I'm well-rested. Literally every aspect of my well-being improved. I was happy but also horrified at how long I'd lived in the braindead state UARS creates. 7 years is a long time to feel that way and it's left its mark.
The antihistamines of course stopped working. I tried many different types but none of them worked as well as Claritin did. This did however provide a key piece of information that would ultimately be the last piece of the puzzle. If I reacted so well to taking antihistamines before bed then allergies had a role to play in my breathing at night. Allergies to what though? I wasn't sneezing and I didn't have itchy eyes. Turns out a dust mite allergy doesn't present that way in everyone. I've lived with my grandparents (not because I want to believe me) almost all the way through this and the carpets haven't been changed in 30 years. I've also noticed my sleep would weirdly improve if I stayed in other places. I sleep pretty deeply in hotels for example. I was in a rainforest in Malaysia for a few days a while back and forgot my CPAP and slept phenomenally. Whether that means I truly have UARS or not I'm not sure. I still sleep with it as I haven't been able to recreate that anywhere else. What it does say is that it is subtle rhinitis brought on by a dust mite allergy that triggers my SDB and creates UARS-like symptoms. I'm now having the carpets replaced with hardwood floors, using mattress/pillow covers, and using Flonase every night. Breathe Right strips have also been an absolute game changer in conjunction with CPAP. Using them in concert has made me realize just how limited my nasal breathing really is, even after surgery. If you haven't tried it yet, I recommend giving it a shot. While I'm waiting for the floor to be replaced, I have the air intake of my CPAP placed directly by an open window which also has been working great. That's only a solution for summer though really.
And that's it. I sleep well almost every night now. The relief I feel both physically and mentally is immense but as I've said, this destroyed my life and fundamentally changed me as a person. I'd like to try and see the silver lining but it's given me so much baggage I don't really know where to start. I go to bed scared it'll come back every single night. Even the slightest hint of tiredness makes me paranoid. That's what therapy is for I guess. If you're reading this, I hope it helps you in some way. Shit sucks and I hope you find relief quicker than I did.
TLDR: FUCK UARS and I'm sorry for anyone who is dealing with sleep-disordered breathing. I'm cured and it was a combination of septoplasty, adenoid removal, turbinate reduction, CPAP, and finally an awareness of my dust mite allergy and the relentless use of breathe right strips and flonase.